Chapter 17 #2
“Okay.” Shit, this was it. I was about to lose my queer virginity. “I want to take the underwear off first, right?”
“Oh, yeah.” With a soft snort, he lowered his legs, and we jockeyed around until the underwear was on the floor. When they were off, he pulled his knees in again. “Okay. Take it out.”
Crawling between him, I rested a hand on his shin while I slowly tugged on the plug. It wasn’t budging. “It, uh, it’s stuck.” What the hell?
“No, it’s not. Just pull.” He sniggered.
“Okay, but tell me if I’m hurting you.” I tugged harder this time and slid it from him. “Um…” I held it up. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Fuck, sexy moment gone.
“Throw it on the floor and put your cock in me.” Grabbing my shoulders, he pulled me toward him. “But lube it first.”
While slathering lube on my cock, I tugged it a few times, making it hard again. Hovering over him, I watched his face while I lined my dick to his hole. “Just put it in?” Wasn’t I supposed to prep him first?
“Yes, go ahead. I like the burn and I’m ready enough from the plug.” He glanced toward my dick, the tip grazing his hole. “Please, Evan, you’re killing me right now.” A faltering smirk played on his lips. “Put it in and kiss the fuck out of me.”
With a quick nod, I slipped slowly inside him, his tight heat enveloping me in pure bliss. “Holy fuck, Ronan.” Pleasure tingled up my spine and my balls tightened. As my gaze met his, my heart swelled with warmth. I wouldn’t do this with just anyone. Only him. Because…because…fuck, did I love him?
“So good, Evan. God, you have such a nice cock.” He cooed and hooked his ankles behind my hips. “Come on, come to me.” He pulled me closer to him.
As my balls rested on his ass, my dick thoroughly seated inside him, I swallowed hard.
I was fucking him. Me. Evan Crosby was fucking Ronan Vale.
Sensation swept over me in a torrent, and my cock pulsed inside him.
Oh hell. As I fell onto my elbows and my face came close to his, I said, “Wait a minute. Don’t move. ” I almost came. I had to watch myself.
“I felt it.” His gaze searched my face. “You’re doing great, babe. You feel fantastic. The best.” Placing his hand on the back of my head, he pulled me toward him and then planted hungry kisses on my mouth, his tongue a relentless onslaught of flicking and teasing.
As I lost myself in his kisses, I rocked my hips, slipping my cock in and out of him. Pleasure wound tightly inside me, spilling through every nerve ending. With a hungry moan, I gripped his hair, which was lying across the pillow, and quickened my pace.
His legs tightened around me, and his hole sucked me in. He bit my lower lip and scraped his teeth across it. “Fuck me, Evan. Jesus, so good.” With a growl, he tipped his head back. “Faster.”
I pistoned my hips as sensation threatened to overwhelm me. “Close, babe, I’m close.” I could barely think anymore. All I wanted was to fill him with my cum. Wait, his nipples…Reaching between us, I flicked a nipple piercing.
As our bodies slapped together, he arched his back, sharp cries erupting from his throat. Hot cum sprayed my chest as his cock unloaded between us.
My climax came in an explosion of pleasure, sparking up my spine and curling my toes. Burying my face in his neck, I gasped and rode it out as each surge rippled through me, my cock shooting inside him again and again.
When it slowed, I fell over him in a heap. “Oh…fuck,” I whispered and kissed his neck.
“Oh, fuck is right.” His chest lifted with quick, deep breaths. “You’ve ruined me.” He released a lazy chuckle. “I’ll never want anyone else.”
My eyes popped open, and I lifted my head, heat swarming my chest. “You’re damn right you won’t. You’re fucking mine now, Ronan Vale.” I stared at him. Where had that come from?
His grin faded. “It, it was a joke.” He brushed his knuckles across my cheek, his gaze darting between my eyes. “But it’s true, I don’t want anyone else. Only you.” His throat dipped. “I…I’m falling for you, Evan.” His lower lip trembled.
Holy fuck. He said what I’d been thinking the last few days. As my vision hazed and emotion fluttered through my heart, I said, “I’m falling for you too.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. Hell, I was in this. With a man. With Ronan fucking Vale. Now I knew how Lucas had fallen for Ezra.
“Kiss me.” He pulled my head down.
As our lips touched, a spark of warmth blanketed my body. Being with him was like coming home. He was my home. I pressed harder, exploring him tenderly, with all the emotion in my heart.
He slanted his mouth across mine, his tongue probing and grazing mine in slow sweeps.
I shifted my hips and my cock slipped out of him—our deep connection lessened only a little. After a moment, he stopped, and his gaze crept to mine. “I could stay here kissing you forever, but I’m, uh, about to leak.”
“What? Oh.” As the edge of my lips tugged, I crawled off him. “I came a lot.” What do we do now?
“So did I.” With a quick glance and a grin at me, he slid off the bed. Rising, he held a hand to me. “Shower?”
“Absolutely.” Returning his grin, I took his hand and followed him into his bathroom.
After our shower and dressing, Ronan rescued Bean from his room and as we strolled past the closed door of his studio I said, “Are you ever going to show me what your studio is like?” How messy was it this time? He’d probably been working inside it last night with Drew.
With his breath catching, he halted at the door. “Uh…” He tapped his lips, his gaze darting across the floor.
What the hell? “It’s no big deal. If it’s messy again, I understand.” I shifted my stance. I didn’t want to force him.
With a slow shake of his head, he said, “You know what? It’s not that messy.” He placed his hand on the knob, drew a deep inhale and opened the door.
Bean strutted inside and plopped onto a doggy bed against the wall.
I stared into the room, bigger than I’d imagined—the dark wood desk along the far wall with a computer and two monitors, the Persian rug on the floor and heavy drapes lining the wall behind the desk.
In the corners stood guitars on stands and a small drum kit centered it all.
My gaze caught a black couch along one wall with floating wooden shelves above it and black notebooks running along them, some with tattered edges.
The room wasn’t messy. In fact, it was very organized.
“What, uh, what are these?” I stepped toward the notebooks.
“They hold some of my deepest thoughts.” He wrung his hands, his gaze flicking to mine. “Some of those thoughts end up as lyrics, while others are just the noise in my head.” He took a sharp breath.
God, I wanted to read them. I wanted to know everything that went on inside him. I could maybe see the truth behind his relationship with his parents, who he was as a child, his mother’s death. “Um, can I?” I held my hand up.
He flinched. “I…I don’t know.”
I dropped my hand. No, it would be like reading someone’s diary. Not cool, Evan. “It’s okay. I understand. It’s private.”
He offered a slow nod. “Yeah, so.” Holding his arms out, he turned in a circle. “This is where we work.” His gaze met mine. “For now. Until we hit the studio in a few weeks.” In a mumble, he said, “Or until we hit the road.”
He looked so vulnerable. Stepping up to him, I wrapped him in a fierce hug and kissed the side of his head. “Thank you for showing me this.” This place was special to him, like an inner sanctuary. Hell, he spent hours in here, losing track of time. I knew that much.
Hooking his arms around my waist, he settled his cheek against my shoulder. “It was time.” He squeezed me and stepped back.
About his mother’s death…“Hey, Ronan. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” I scratched the side of my head. I hoped this didn’t sound like it was coming out of left field.
“Yeah?” He ambled to the desk and straightened the keyboard and mouse.
“A while back, I looked up your mom’s death on the internet. I thought I could get more information about it without bothering you.” I freed a stammering chuckle. “I was curious about it.”
As his brows creased, he snapped his gaze to me. “Okay, what about it?”
“I don’t know, it seemed like there wasn’t much information about it. I only found one article, and it was one paragraph.” I stepped toward him and brushed my fingers along his arm.
After pressing his lips together, he said, “Yeah, well, it was a sensitive time for the band. We were just breaking out, and they didn’t want news of her murder following us around. They wanted our interviews to highlight our music and avoid mentioning my mother’s murder.”
“Is that why you didn’t go home for her funeral? Would it have disrupted the tour too much?” I slipped my hand down his arm and threaded my fingers in his. He might not have lied to me about this, but he also might not have admitted the entire truth.
“I guess so.” He winced. “Partly. I mean, it made sense to continue the tour. Things were handled at home and…” His eyes grew glossy. “It made sense.” He sniffled.
“Ronan.” I hugged him to my chest. He was still grieving.
Under his tough exterior was a man who still grieved for a mother who’d never given him what he needed.
I scanned the room. This place meant something to him.
It was where he opened up and poured his heart out, where he left all his hurts.
The room made him feel vulnerable. No wonder he hadn’t been prepared to show it to me at first. “You’re safe with me. ” I kissed his head.
He nodded. “I know.” Swiping his eyes, he lifted his head. “So, what’s next?” He released me and stepped toward the door. “Come on, Bean.” He patted his thigh.
“Next?” Did he mean the immediate future, or did he want to discuss long term plans? I followed him and Bean from the room. “How about dinner? What did you have in mind?”