35. Wes
Chapter thirty-five
Wes
My alarm goes off way too early the next morning, but I’m FaceTiming with my cousin, Donna, at nine.
I rub a hand down my face. When we planned it for nine, it didn’t seem too early, but today, today it does.
I could reschedule, but I’ve been itching to have a face-to-face conversation with her.
Hear more about her family, her kids—my third cousins.
At this point, I just want to feel a connection to this long-lost family of mine because we still haven’t moved past the stiff formal emails. And maybe it’s just me feeling that way. I hope it is. Guess we’ll find out today.
I stretch.
I slept like shit.
I didn’t realize how much I’d gotten used to sharing a bed with Hadley and how weird it would feel when she wasn’t in it until last night.
I almost got up to go knock on her door to ask if we could talk and figure things out, but I didn’t.
I decided it was best to give her a little bit of space.
Maybe I was out of line. I don’t know. I only wanted to help.
After taking care of business in the bathroom, I head into the kitchen to make coffee, and my heart sinks when I spot her engagement ring sitting on the counter, a piece of paper under it. I peer at it warily but decide I need caffeine first.
A few minutes later, after having taken a few fortifying sips of coffee, I approach the ring and note on the counter. My heart breaks in two as I read her messy handwriting.
Weston,
After last night, I think it’s best we end our fake engagement. It was probably past time anyway. I can’t be your girlfriend. I thought I could, but I can’t. I can’t be what you want, what you deserve.
I’m sorry if I hurt you. It was never my intention for things to go past the one night at the party.
I hope one day you can forgive me. I’m going to stay at Holt’s until I figure out what’s next for me. I’ll ask him if he can arrange a time to come over and pack up all of my stuff.
I hope you find her one day—the woman you’re meant to love—because you deserve to.
Hadley.
I scrub a hand down my face. I wish I could yell at her, But I love you. I want you and only you. I won’t find her one day because I’ve already found her.
Except Hadley’s not here, and I am alone in life once again. This time, it’s my fault. I don’t know if I’ll be able to fix this with her, and that absolutely shreds my heart.
With shaking hands, I drink my coffee, leaning against the counter and staring at the engagement ring, until it’s time for the call with my cousin. Reluctantly, I make my way into the living room and take a seat on the couch.
It’s not that I don’t want to talk to her. It’s just the timing sucks, and I am not in the mood. But this will be good. At least I hope so.
“Hi, Donna,” I greet the woman on my phone screen when she picks up.
I search for a resemblance to my dad, but there is none. Where my dad and I could have been twins with the same black hair and gray eyes, Donna has curly red hair and blue eyes.
“Hi, Weston. Nice to finally put a face to the name.”
“Same.”
“I dug out the family tree my dad made when I was younger.” She holds up a sheet of paper with writing on it that I can’t make out. “I figured I’d scan it and send it to you so you can see your other relatives.”
“Thanks.”
“I searched through all of my grandfather’s things—I have a few boxes in my attic—but I didn’t find much in the way of pictures or mementos of his brother.” Her smile drops. “I’m sorry. I asked my dad if there were any other boxes stashed anywhere, but he said I had all of them.”
“It’s okay. I understand.”
She nods, and we lapse into silence. I rack my brain for something to talk about.
“You said you were a teacher? What do you teach?”
“Second grade.”
She tells me about the school she teaches at and how her husband is a mechanic, and I try to listen, try to care, but I find that I don’t.
Don’t get me wrong, Donna is a very nice lady, and she’s been super helpful with answering my questions about my grandfather.
But I don’t feel any connection to her. She kind of feels like the librarian at the library.
They’re nice, they point you in the right direction, but they’re just doing a job.
“That’s cool,” I tell her when she takes a breath.
Once again, we lapse into silence, and I decide it’s time for this call to end.
“Thank you for all of the information and for answering all of my questions. I appreciate it,” I say.
“Of course.”
“I won’t keep you. Maybe we can chat again soon.”
Maybe. If she calls me, I’ll answer, but I’m not planning to go out of my way to talk to her.
I don’t feel much of a connection, and it feels like she’s not that interested in getting to know me any better.
She didn’t ask me any questions during our chat.
And while that hurts, I get it. She already has a family.
She wasn’t expecting to find someone else.
And I’m just a cousin. Not like I’m a brother she didn’t know about.
“Of course. If you think of anything else you want to know, just ask, and I’ll try to answer your questions.”
“Thanks. Have a good one.”
“You take care now, Weston.”
I end the call and drop my phone onto the cushion next to me, tipping my head back and staring at the ceiling.
So much for finding family. I mean, I found family, but it didn’t have the effect I thought it would.
I thought that after all of our emails, this call would be the next step in building a relationship, but it wasn’t.
No girlfriend.
No family.
I am once again alone.
Story of my fucking life.
How is this fair?
I grab the throw pillow next to me, hold it to my face, and scream into it. I drop it into my lap and take a few deep breaths, but I don’t feel any better.
Maybe if I go back to sleep, I’ll wake up, and this will all have been a nightmare. So that’s what I do. Thankfully, past Wes knew not to make plans with the guys for a workout or skate. At least I’m not letting them down today like I let Hadley down.
Rolling onto my side, I grab the pillow Hadley had been using, pulling it to my chest and hugging it close, willing myself to sleep so I don’t have to think about the last twelve or so hours. It takes me a while, but eventually, I drift off into a restless sleep.
The dinging of a text notification wakes me up. Groaning, I let go of Hadley’s pillow and reach for my glasses and my phone, hoping maybe it’s Hadley texting me. But it’s not.
John: Got proofs of the photos from Slumberly. They look great. Forwarded them to your email. You and Hadley need to review and approve. PowerIce finally reached out. Took them long enough. They’re going to send a few sticks for you to try.
I scrub a hand down my face, rereading his message. I should be more excited about another potential endorsement deal, but I’m not really. I’m sure I will be in the future, but right now, I couldn’t care less.
Me: Thanks. I’ll check out the photos and get back to you. Sounds good about PowerIce. I’ll let you know when they get here.
I should probably look at those photos. But I can’t, not yet. Not when mine and Hadley’s breakup is so fresh. Looking at pictures of us happy, kissing, is just going to make me feel worse.
Regardless, I should get up. My stomach growls as I’m climbing out of bed. I can eat. That seems like a simple enough task.
A few minutes later, I’m rummaging first through the fridge and then the pantry for something to eat, but nothing sounds good. What I wouldn’t give for something sweet right about now.
“A trip to the grocery store it is,” I mutter, shuffling into my room to throw on clothes. I grab my keys and wallet and go out to my Jeep.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m pulling into the parking lot at my local Publix. Inside, I wander around the bakery and finally settle on a carrot cake. Ice cream sounds good too, so I make my way to the freezer section.
“This one sounds good,” I mutter, grabbing a carton of chocolate chip cookie dough. “What else?”
I spot the chocolate peanut butter—Hadley’s favorite—and my heart sinks. Giving myself a shake, I opt for strawberry shortcake before making my way to the checkout.
Outside, instead of heading to my car, I go next door to their liquor store. I’m not a big liquor drinker, but today feels like a day to drink a glass of something strong. I decide on a bottle of Singing Pig because I like the name, hopefully it tastes good, and head to the register.
My phone starts ringing as I’m parking back at my apartment building.
“Sorry, buddy. Not in the mood.” I hit the Ignore button on Sebastian’s call before climbing out of my Jeep. I’d turn the whole thing off, but I don’t want to on the off chance that Hunter calls to say Madison’s in labor, or Madison herself calls needing something, or Hadley calls.
“Probably should figure out how to send everyone else to voicemail right away,” I mutter as I wait for the elevator to ascend to my floor.
When I get to my apartment, I put the ice cream away in the freezer for later, pour myself a glass of whiskey, and grab a fork for the carrot cake before bringing the entire box with me to the couch.
I flip on the television and find a random old western to watch—because the last thing I want to do right now is watch a rom-com—and dig into my treats.