Chapter 24
Tea with my family was loud and chaotic and exactly what I needed after the unpleasant exchange with Maddie.
It was great to see Nick again and to have more cuddles with my niece and nephew, although I felt embarrassed at making excuses for Maddie’s absence.
Hope’s expression always conveyed what she thought and it was obvious that she believed the headache story as much as I did.
I had the honour of reading a bedtime story to Max but Lola’s reading was coming along brilliantly so she read me a story instead, transporting me back to the days when Maddie was her age and had loved to read to me.
Books had been a shared passion and, as she progressed into her teens, I’d read many of the YA books she’d enjoyed while introducing her to adult titles I thought she’d like.
It was another thing that had gone by the wayside when she befriended Carmen.
Books are for boring geeks, she’d told me one day – words which felt like Carmen’s rather than Maddie’s.
After the kids were settled in bed, I found myself longing to stay for several more hours to avoid the hostilities at home but it wasn’t an option. Nick had checks to do round the farm – as did I round ours – and Hope looked tired so Mam and I said goodbye.
‘A lovely evening,’ Mam said as I pulled off the farm track and set off in the direction of home.
‘Yeah, it was. Just what I needed.’
‘You mentioned Maddie putting a stop to your three things chats. I know it’s not quite the same, but do you want to do it with me instead?’
I glanced across at her and smiled. ‘Okay, although it might be hard to think of ones you don’t already know. You go first.’
‘Three things about my day are…’ She pondered for a moment.
‘The first is that I spotted a field mouse this morning near Samson and it made me smile seeing such a tiny creature alongside such a huge one at our new home. We’re very blessed.
My second is that young Hunter told me a joke that was so funny I actually snorted when I laughed.
I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.
And my third thing is that I nipped to the loo after we’d had tea to have a little cry because I got all emotional seeing my two beautiful girls back together. I’m so happy you’re here.’
‘Aw, Mam! I’m happy I’m here too. That was a lovely three things. Okay, so mine are that I was looking at some buttercups on one of the verges this morning and I had the strongest childhood memory of Hope and me holding buttercups under each other’s chin to see whether we liked butter.’
It was something all the kids used to do – the strength of the buttercup’s yellow reflection on the skin supposedly indicated the strength of liking for butter.
‘It struck me I’d never seen it reflected on my own skin so I decided to take a selfie but I didn’t want to pick the buttercup so I got on the ground and did some crazy contorting until I got the right angle. And guess who ran past at that moment?’
‘Caleb Nash?’
‘Yep. Goodness knows what he must think of me.’
‘Did you say anything?’
‘I said morning as though rolling around on the ground was normal behaviour. He murmured morning in return but I swear he quickened his pace.’
‘I agree with you now that he’s a funny bunny, that one. Barely says a word if I see him. I’ve tried to engage him in conversation but he doesn’t seem interested.’
‘Glad it’s not just me. I don’t think he likes us being here but that’s tough cos it’s our home and we’re not going anywhere. Back to my three things, the second is a ladybird landed on me and walked up and down my arm for ages and, even though it pooed on me, it was a magical moment.’
‘Do you still wear your jacket?’ Mam asked.
‘All the time.’
I’d been obsessed with ladybirds when I was younger, Hope’s passion was for caterpillars and we’d both loved butterflies.
When I officially left home after graduating, Mam presented Hope and me with denim jackets onto which she’d had a bespoke design embroidered.
There was a ladybird on mine, a caterpillar on Hope’s and butterflies on both along with curved vines and flowers.
If we stood side by side with Hope on my left, the vines and flowers formed a heart.
The design was stunning but the meaning meant the world to me – that we’d have a piece of each other’s heart with us wherever we went.
If it was jacket weather, I always reached for my ladybird one.
‘What’s your third thing?’ Mam asked.
‘That I also got a bit emotional over tea. I hadn’t realised quite how much I missed being around you all. I thought about how lucky I am to be part of such a lovely family but also how much Dad would have loved me being back here. I wish he was still here to see it.’
‘So do I, sunshine, but you mustn’t regret not moving back sooner. You had a life down south and you were happy there. That’s all we ever wanted for you.’
* * *
As we approached the farmhouse back at Hazelwick Farm, my stomach lurched.
‘Why’s the door open?’
I slammed on the brakes and leapt out, not caring that I’d abandoned the car. My heart pounded as I ran into the house calling Maddie’s name. Had there been a break-in? Everything in the kitchen appeared to be in order.
‘I’ll check the lounge,’ Mam said, rushing in after me.
I raced upstairs and flung open Maddie’s bedroom door. Her room was empty and, while it was messy, it didn’t look trashed. I checked mine and Mam’s but everything appeared to be as we’d left it.
‘It’s fine down here,’ Mam shouted.
‘Same up here,’ I called, looking down to the hall. ‘No Maddie, no dogs and… oh my God! Clemmie!’
I raced back down, almost losing my footing in my haste, and checked the utility room but it was empty.
‘Clemmie!’ I grabbed for some cat treats and shook the packet – a sound usually guaranteed to bring her running – but she didn’t appear.
Goose bumps broke out over my arms as I took my phone out of my jeans pocket and called Maddie.
‘Where are you?’ I asked as soon as she answered.
‘I’m so sorry… not my fault…’ It was obvious she was crying.
‘Where’s Clemmie?’
‘I went out to feed the guinea pigs and I thought I’d shut the porch door behind me but I mustn’t have and Nova nudged it open and Clemmie ran out. I’m so sorry, Mum. I’ve been searching for two hours. I can’t find her.’
‘Are the dogs with you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Are you near the farmhouse?’
‘Yes.’
‘Come back with the dogs and I’ll go out.’
‘It wasn’t my fault. I know you won’t—’
I disconnected the call, not interested in her protestations.
She’d only been asked to do one thing the whole time we’d been here and that was to ensure Clemmie was kept inside for three weeks.
That wasn’t me being overly protective – it was me following the advice from the experts.
Far too many cats went missing after a house move because they were let outside before their new homes felt safe and before they’d been able to build up a scent profile and I’d been determined that wouldn’t happen to my precious Clemmie.
Mam joined me outside and I filled her in. Nova and Skye appeared and ran over to us, followed by Maddie.
‘Keep them inside,’ I said to Mam. ‘I’m going out to look.’
I marched towards Maddie.
‘Mum, I—’
‘Which direction did she go?’
She pointed towards the farmyard.
‘I’m so—’
‘Don’t! Not now!’
I could hardly bear to look at her. Calling Clemmie stupid and skanky earlier had been bad enough, but I couldn’t deal with this.
I knew Maddie wouldn’t have released her deliberately but how hard was it to make sure doors were closed?
Yet another example of her not properly listening, being in Maddie world, only thinking of herself.
If I didn’t find Clemmie or I found her and she was badly injured… I shuddered at the thought.
Consumed by a combination of rage and fear, I sprinted towards the farmyard and paused, shaking the treats and calling Clemmie’s name.
Where should I even start? She could be anywhere on the farm…
if she was still here. I couldn’t bear to think of her roaming further.
On a positive note, Twyford had been surrounded by countryside so Clemmie was used to roaming across farmland and being among animals and shouldn’t get spooked by the horses.
All I could hope was that she’d taken rest somewhere and that the shaking of her treats would eventually draw her out of her hiding place.
Starting in the farmyard, I systematically checked every barn, activating my phone torch to see into dark corners. I didn’t expect her to have joined the goats but I went through the gate and checked their pen anyway.
I must have been out for about an hour and the light was starting to fade.
Another hour and we’d be in complete darkness.
In the distance, I spotted Caleb running.
We might not have made friends but he’d know the farm better than me so I needed his help.
I ran up to him, waving my arms so he’d stop.
He drew to a halt, frowning at me as he removed one of his earbuds.
‘Have you seen a ginger cat?’
‘No.’
‘Mine’s missing. My daughter let her out and… I’m worried sick. Can you think of anywhere a cat might hide?’
The tears I’d fought so hard to keep bottled up rolled down my cheeks and Caleb’s expression immediately softened.
‘A few. Come back to the cottage with me. I’ll leave Scampi inside and help you look. Are you up for running?’
I nodded and jogged alongside him, appreciating that he’d slowed his pace a little for me. I wasn’t a fan of running, preferring to keep active through horse riding and long walks with the dogs.
We reached Peartree Cottage and I followed Caleb and Scampi through the front porch and into a hall. Scampi darted through a doorway to the left and I heard him lapping water.
‘Come into the kitchen a sec,’ Caleb said, heading through the same doorway as Scampi.
He indicated that I should sit at a small table.
‘Water?’ he asked, opening a cupboard and taking out a glass.
‘No, thanks.’