Chapter Forty-Two
When he’d received the hasty missive that afternoon, Edmund had been certain it was a mistake. Or a rotten joke, perhaps. He’d reread it nearly a hundred times, and despite his disbelief, it managed to trip up his heart every time.
She’ll be at the Trenton soirée tonight. Don’t be an idiot. — B
The script was undeniably feminine, and though the B could’ve been anyone, only one name came to mind. Bridget. As in Miss Bridget Martindale, Lydia’s cousin.
If there was any chance at all that the note was from her and that Lydia would be stepping out in society that night, he couldn’t ignore such a summons.
In the hours between the note and this moment, he hadn’t really thought about what he’d do when he saw her again.
He’d just known he needed to. Seeing her now, standing so beautiful but still and alone while everyone moved around her—utterly oblivious to the absolute goddess in their midst—he still couldn’t think of what he should say or do.
So, he acted out of pure instinct and primal motivation.
Holding her unflinching gaze, he stalked toward her, cutting straight across the edge of the dance floor, ignoring the mutters and sidesteps of the dancers as they quickly shuffled out of his way.
He was making a scene.
He couldn’t help it. He needed to be near her. Touch her. Look into her eyes. Hear her voice, her breath, her heartbeat. Feel her.
From his first step toward her, she didn’t flinch.
Didn’t glance away. Didn’t resist his approach.
And as he neared, the first thing he noticed was the tension in her lovely form.
The kind that suggested something was being held back.
Then he saw the subtle downward curve of her mouth just before the corner twitched a bit upward.
He hoped against hope that it meant she was pleased to see him.
A quick glance about found the Lord and Lady Redington standing not too far away.
Lydia’s very noble eldest cousin stared at him intently, dark eyes assessing and judgmental.
His lady wife, however, offered a brief encouraging smile before she leaned toward her husband and whispered something in his ear.
Redington’s eyes flickered, his jaw tensed, and he glanced away.
Grateful for whatever Lady Redington said to gain her husband’s acquiescence, Edmund slid his gaze back to Lydia.
His heart tumbled into a wild freefall.
She was staring back at him, her lips parted, her eyes dark and swirling.
Finally, he stopped in front of her and offered a proper bow. When he straightened, he gave a quick smile.
“Good evening, my lady. Would you honor me with a dance?”
He had no idea how his voice came out sounding so charming and confident when inside he was a riot of uncertainty and desperate craving.
She didn’t answer right away, and he decided quickly that if she refused, he would simply toss her over his shoulder and steal her away to his house, keeping her there until she realized she belonged nowhere else.
Of course, that would make her hate him faster than anything.
In truth, if she refused him now, he’d likely never regain the courage to approach her again.
As fear of her rejection crept through his bones, she flickered a glance toward the dance floor. “I’d be delighted, but it looks terribly crowded.” Her stormy gaze found his again as she whispered, “Perhaps we can find someplace a bit more private?”
He couldn’t deny the tiny prick of disappointment he felt that she wasn’t willing to dance with him in view of everyone.
But it was swiftly and forcefully overcome by the rush of hunger that flooded through him as the desire in her eyes and the sensual curve of her lips triggered a deep lustful response.
He flashed a rakish grin. “I assume you know a place.”
She lowered her chin to reply in a husky murmur. “There is a narrow corridor beneath the grand staircase in the entry. Meet me there.”
Then she lifted her chin, turned, and walked away from him. Anyone watching would assume she’d given him a cut direct.
Edmund couldn’t give the slightest fuck.
His heart racing, he took a roundabout path about the ballroom, barely even aware of the shifting crowd through which he moved.
As casually as he could manage, he stepped through a door which led to an unoccupied sitting room.
It took another couple of minutes to make his way back around to the entry hall, but he quickly spotted the dark and narrow hallway she’d referenced.
Flames of need licked through his bloodstream.
Ensuring no one was about, he slipped into the heavy shadows of what appeared to be an unused servants’ corridor.
Unable to see in the unlit passage, anticipation heightened his senses.
Within a few steps, the gentle scent of violets triggered a leap in his chest. He heard a softly whispered, “I’m here,” a moment before she stepped from the darkness to press herself against him.
Her body was warm and lovely as she slid her hand around his neck to draw his head down to hers.
It was the most natural thing in the world to wrap his arms around her and take her offered kiss.
At the very first touch of her lips, he felt renewed. Awakened. As though, in the time they’d been apart, he had been merely sleepwalking. Lost and barely alive.
With a gruff sound, he tightened his arms and lifted her to her toes, angling his head to deepen the kiss with a thrust of his tongue.
She met the intrusion with a sigh of pleasure, sucking his tongue deeper into her mouth.
His body dissolved into pure, lustful need.
Turning them, he pressed her back to the wall.
How had he gone so long without his?
Had it truly only been a couple weeks? It felt like a lifetime.
She made a soft, needful sound, raking her fingernails along his scalp.
Then she reached down to grasp her skirts and lift them to her waist. His body trembling in anticipation, he instantly adjusted his hold, gripping the backs of her bared thighs to lift her off her feet and wrap her legs around his hips.
His already hardened length ground against her core.
She wore no underclothes and the wet heat of her immediately soaked his breeches.
The scent of her desire mingled with the gentle violet, intoxicating him.
“Lydia, luv,” he grunted, “I need—”
“Yes,” she breathed against his throat as she sucked his pulse against her teeth.
She was the one to reach between them and tug at the fastening of his breeches until she managed to get them open enough to take his throbbing cock in hand.
Her moan of satisfaction mingled with his as he took her mouth again, needing the taste of her on his tongue as she fitted him against her. But before he plunged into her beckoning softness, he lifted his head to find her gaze.
His vision had adjusted to the darkness just enough to see the pale glow of her skin, the dusky rose of her mouth, and the glittering storm of her eyes.
She didn’t seem to mind the momentary pause. Smiling gently, she smoothed her fingers over the angles of his face—across his brow, then the crest of his cheek, then the line of his jaw. Her expression was dreamy and fierce at once.
“Edmund,” she whispered, her voice low, reverent, and misted with emotion.
A tingling demand to stake his claim flowed through him from crown to heel.
She was his!
But as soon as the thought speared his mind, he had to deny it. She would belong to no man and would hate him for such an assertion, even if it was just in his mind.
“I need you,” she murmured.
Then she’d have him. Now.
Forever, if she wanted.
Staring into her breathtaking eyes, he played his hands beneath her buttocks and plunged his cock into her welcoming, wet heat.
Her lashes fluttered and her head fell back as she gasped a deep breath, but her eyes never broke from his.
He could feel her inner muscles clenching to hold him—claim him in her own way.
Edmund ground his teeth and held himself as still as possible within her to resist the intense pull of pleasure tightening his balls.
He would not lose himself on his first thrust.
“Edmund.” His name was a choked little whisper sliding from her throat.
She tightened her hand at his nape and the other lifted to grasp his neckcloth in a tight fist as her eyes widened.
“I…” she began before her breath caught.
He’d been so focused on holding back his own release, he’d failed to notice that hers was swiftly overtaking her.
As he covered her mouth in a deep kiss, he felt the fluttering spasms originating in her core, drawing him deeper.
There was no fighting it. Her pleasure called his, and pleasure rushed through him.
He climaxed with a shuddering release that obliterated all thought or concern beyond the woman in his arms.
It was astounding. Fierce and passionate and unexpected. He breathed in her short exhales and held her close until the last trembling subsided. And when reality returned, it came slowly, with a languid sort of encroachment.
Edmund was loath to remove himself from her, so he kept himself lodged in her warmth.
Pressing her back to the wall, he held her buttocks in his hands and kept her legs wrapped around him with the press of his arms. Even when her limbs ceased their subtle shaking and her spine softened.
He held her. Pressing soft kisses to her face, the side of her throat, then her lips.
Finally, she sighed and wrapped her arms more securely around his shoulders, tipping her face up for more of his kiss.
Their mouths mated with a silent reverence. Caressing, soothing, promising things that couldn’t be put into words.
Edmund could stand in that darkened hallway with her forever. Why should they bother to return to the world beyond these shadows? What did it offer either of them?
His life after the rookery and before Lydia had been nothing but a diversion. A distraction so he wouldn’t dwell so much on what he was missing—what he was yearning for.
He suddenly had everything he could ever want. In his arms. In this moment.
He couldn’t let her go.
A sound of frustration escaped his tight chest, triggering a tremor of tension in her body.
She issued a soft hum of inquiry and her fingers slid through his hair.
Edmund cleared the emotion from his throat. “We should…” He couldn’t finish. Something in his brain refused to allow it.
Her sigh then was deep, weighted, and rough.
Taking his face in her hands, she pressed her lips to his in a chaste but moving kiss. Then she shifted her legs in a silent bid to be returned to her feet.
Edmund bit hard to his lower lip as he withdrew from her.
As soon as her feet were stable on the floor, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and carefully wiped his issue from her thighs and her sensitive sex, then cleaned himself as well.
Only then did it occur to him that they hadn’t used a sheath.
Undoubtedly noting his expression, she muttered swiftly, “It’s fine, I think. No…I’m quite certain. The timing…”
He nodded his acknowledgement and tried to ignore the odd pressure squeezing his chest as she released her skirts to cover her gorgeous legs then helped him straighten his clothing. Smiling, she reached up to neaten his hair which she’d apparently mussed up rather well.
He returned the smile, smoothing the wrinkles from her skirt and straightening her bodice. The moment felt frighteningly, beautifully…conjugal.
When their gazes found each other again, he attempted one of his charming devil’s grins, but he knew even without a mirror that he failed miserably. His heart was too heavy for such irreverence.
Her focus flickered briefly down the corridor toward the entry hall and the ballroom somewhere beyond. Her eyes, when they came back to his, were the stormiest he’d ever seen them. Dark and mysterious and intent.
She was so beautiful. So much more than anyone knew. So…incredibly wonderful.
He forced his heart to slow—fiercely resisting the urge to rub his fist over his chest—and prepared himself for another good-bye.
Her mouth tilted a bit ruefully. Her eyes glimmered. She took a breath and released it.
Edmund’s heart slowed to a fucking stop. Then dropped to his feet. This goodbye was going to hurt even more than the last one.
“I wonder…” she began hesitantly, her gaze fell to where her fingers were playing idly with the fall of his cravat. “I wonder if maybe we could…continue together…for a bit.”
A sizzling lightning bolt shot through him, catapulting his aching heart straight into his throat.
“I mean,” she continued with a shrug. “There’s nothing requiring we end our association.
My mother has been silent—for now, at least. Despite tonight’s appearance, I’m no longer active in society.
My position as a bluestocking spinster is almost fully secured, so there’s no real risk to my reputation or my future.
I don’t see why we can’t continue…discreetly, of course.
There’s no need to be unnecessarily blatant about such things. ”
As she rambled, the movement of her fingers grew increasingly agitated while Edmund’s grin widened until his cheeks began to ache. When she took a breath—possibly to load on more reasons they could remain lovers—Edmund finally gathered his wits enough to reply.
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he hauled her into his embrace.
“Lydia, me luv,” he said, forgetting to affect the accent of the gentry, in a voice graveled with emotion, “The last weeks’ve been a livin’ hell. I’m yer man until ye can no longer stand the sight of me.”
She chuckled softly and lifted her face to murmur in a sultry tone against his lips. “Then it’s a good thing you’re so bloody handsome. I can’t imagine tiring of this for a long, long time.”
Though she nudged at his lips with hers, he resisted the kiss for a moment longer. Staring intently into her eyes, he spoke a truth he’d been wrestling with for far too long.
“You should know I’m fuckin’ in love with you, Lydia Balcomb,” he whispered harshly. Then promptly held his breath.
Her eyes widened and sparkled with starlight. Her lips parted on a gentle gasp. But she didn’t reply. Staring into his eyes, she seemed to be searching for something.
He hadn’t intended to say those words tonight, but now that he had, he couldn’t imagine taking them back. They were as true as anything he’d ever known.
But he understood how she might distrust them. At first.
It didn’t matter. He had time now to prove his love wouldn’t limit her life or force her into a future she didn’t want.
Her brows dipped over her eyes and she started hesitantly, “Edmund, I…”
“I know,” he replied. Then, with a rakish grin, he flicked his tongue against her lips, loving the way her eyes flared with desire. “Don’t worry, luv, we’re going to have a lot of fun together. There’s still a great deal we’ve yet to explore.”
“Is there?” she breathed with a dreamy look in her eyes.
“You’ve no idea,” he vowed as he took her mouth in a deeper kiss.