Chapter 8
Liza
I’d planned to spend the night listening to wonderful jazz music and unwinding, but I hadn’t factored Toby Miller into my plans whatsoever.
But a little company for the concert might not be such a bad thing. It wasn’t anything to worry about. Just two people enjoying some good music. A few seconds after Toby sat down, the artist began his set, so I was saved from trying to think up what to say to the man across the table from me.
But then, about six songs in, the musician took a few minutes to get a drink. I looked over at Toby nervously, pretending I hadn’t noticed him glancing at me every little bit during the set.
“So,” he said. “You like live music?”
I nodded vigorously. “Love it. You?”
He smiled and held my gaze. “I like it more with someone to watch with me.”
Oh, well, that was flirty. Was he flirting? Or just being nice? It was so hard to tell. “Have you been able to get out much since moving to Bluewater?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Not too much, no. I’ve spent a little bit of time with Anthony, but this is my first time here.
” He sipped his drink and looked around the room.
I breathed a sigh of relief while his eyes weren’t on me.
“I’ve kept an eye on this place, though,” he said.
“But I’d given up, thinking they only did DJs. ”
I shook my head. “Oh, no, whenever they can get a live band in, they jump on the chance. It’s just that Bluewater is such a small town that not many bands think about coming through here.”
Toby chuckled. “I guess that’s true. Well, I’m glad the word got to me about there being live music here tonight. Or I would’ve missed the opportunity to sit with you.”
I ducked my head again, not sure how to respond. Dax and I hadn’t gone out a lot like this. We’d both gone right into college after high school, community college, but still. We’d studied and spent time together at home.
Until I’d caught him sleeping with my best friend and roommate, that was.
The musicians took the stage again, and Toby smiled at me. “So, do you prefer jazz?” he asked.
I couldn’t help but brighten up a bit then.
“I do love jazz,” I said. “It just sort of gets inside you, you know. Runs all through you.” I got a little bit passionate and had to make myself dial it back a bit.
I didn’t want to freak him out with my obsession with jazz music.
“I just wish I had more time to devote to listening to it.”
He didn’t seem put off, though. As he opened his mouth to say something, he looked at the stage. “Here they go,” he said.
I jerked my gaze back to the stage, embarrassed to have been caught paying so much attention to Toby that I’d totally missed the fact that they were about to start playing again.
Was there ever going to be a day that I didn’t get embarrassed over the slightest thing? I didn’t really think so.
The rest of the set was just as good as the first part, and I couldn’t help but get a little lost in the music.
As I swayed to the beat, I was fully aware that Toby kept watching me.
But I wasn’t going to let myself be so uncomfortable that I didn’t enjoy this music, which I’d been looking forward to for a long time.
I stole a quick glance and found him grinning, but I didn’t let that slow me down.
I just danced on my seat with butterflies in my stomach instead.
I was well aware of how handsome he was. I just didn’t want to be like the women at the hospital who fawned over him all the time, acting like teenagers in heat. That wasn’t me and never would be.
The musician strummed softly as he looked out at the crowd and moved closer to the mic. “This next one is for the couples and lovers in the crowd. Come on and dance.”
A sweet, slow love song came over the speakers. It reminded me that I didn’t think Dax and I had ever slow danced together. Why didn’t we do those things with one another? What had stopped us?
“Would you like to dance?” Toby asked.
The butterflies in my stomach morphed into scared cats, hissing and scratching, and I desperately wanted to say yes.
But a slow dance was terribly intimate, and I worked with this man. “I’m sorry, I think I need to be going,” I said, chickening out. “Thank you so much for the drink and the company.”
He looked confused, and I really couldn’t blame him.
But he was distracting me, and he had me all messed up about what I felt for him.
A crush? Maybe. But with Abby wanting to sink her fangs in him, it was a terrible idea to develop a crush on the man.
Besides, he was older than me. Probably too old. He was just being nice, not flirting.
With my career on the line, I smiled and grabbed my bag, then headed toward the door.
When I reached for the handle, a hand got to it before mine. I looked up in surprise to see Toby. “Oh,” I breathed. He was so close I could smell his smoky cologne… and I liked it way too much.
He opened the door, and I darted out into the crisp night air. “You don’t have to leave too,” I said.
“I’m not.” He grinned and put his hand on my elbow. “I wanted to walk you to your car. You never know when a creeper might be around.”
“Oh. Well, thank you.” I led the way across the lot. I’d parked my car way down by Jace’s Place. It was perfectly safe, but I appreciated him being a gentleman.
As I reached for my car door handle, Toby touched my arm again. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
I turned in surprise with the door half open. “Why would you be apologizing?” I asked. He’d never done anything to warrant an apology to me. I’d been the one acting like an idiot.
For a second, I thought he was going to reach out and touch my face, but then he stuffed his hands in his pants pockets. “I feel like I make you nervous or anxious. I don’t know why, but that’s not my intention at all.”
I opened my mouth to deny it, even though it was true, it was my thing not his. But he kept going.
“I just want you to know that if I make you uncomfortable, I’ll leave you alone. I’m not trying to, like…” He looked away for a second. “Sexually harass you or anything.”
I burst out laughing at the idea of it all, and an image of Abby flashed into my head. If anyone was doing any sexual harassing, it was probably her.
And I felt like a total heel. I’d made him insecure when it was all in my own damn head.
I gave myself a moment to be slightly vulnerable.
“Toby, you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s my own hang-ups that have me feeling the way I do and acting like an idiot.
You’re great, really.” He sucked in a deep breath.
“But…” I said. “I’m not looking to date.
Not anyone. If I were, you’d be the first person I’d want to date, I can promise you that. Top of the list!”
“Why?” he asked softly. “Why no dating?”
I shrugged and smiled. “That is a story for another time.”
He took the corner of my car door and opened it for me. “I hope there will be another time that you’ll feel comfortable sharing that with me.”
I sat and let him close my car door, then turned over the engine and hit the button to roll down the window. “I’ll think about it, as friends.”
He leaned over and put his hands on the ledge. “I always want more friends. I’d be happy for that to be all we were, if that’s what you want. No pressure from me, okay?”
I looked deep in his eyes and somehow believed him. He didn’t want to pressure me. “Okay,” I whispered.
“Drive safe.” He patted the hood as he walked back toward the club.
Driving home, I couldn’t help but hope that there really would be another time. Toby was really nice and might make a great friend.