Chapter 4
Chapter Four
AINSLEY
I look down at Mikhail, then up as we take off. Bunny. He called me bunny. Only one man has ever called me that. Master, the man who ruined me in one night. He said I reminded him of a frightened little bunny, caught by the wolf. And that night… he was the wolf. He knew how to play my body, and I haven’t been able to forget it since.
I lean over Mikhail and study his face. It can’t be him. Master wore a mask that night. Every inch of his skin was covered. Except… I gently lift his chin, and there it is. The edge of the tattoo I saw when my blindfold shifted. Two faces staring at each other, with the word mest between them. I don’t know what it means, only that it’s Russian. I remember seeing it that night, confused by it even then.
The soldier on Mikhail’s other side rolls him to check the wound. He talks to the driver in rapid-fire Russian. I don’t understand a word of it.
“What does this mean?” I ask, pointing to the tattoo on Mikhail’s neck.
“Vengeance,” the soldier replies.
“What does zayka mean?”
I knew Mikhail lied to me earlier when I asked. He wouldn’t look me in the eye and just stared over the top of my head.
“ Zayka ?” the soldier asks, and I nod. “Bunny,” he says in perfect English.
“What’s your name?” I ask him softly.
“Damir. I’m one of your guards.”
“Thank you for saving us. I’m sorry,” I tell him, taking Mikhail’s hand in mine.
The truth stares me right in the eyes, and my mind struggles to process it all. I bite my lip as the tears start to build. I hate crying. I hate that everyone is paying for my actions.
We pull up to the house, and I see Andrei standing with Dmitri. I hold Mikhail’s hand until they lift him out of the back of the car. Even Andrei, the boss, helps carry his friend inside. A man I don’t recognize stands at the entrance. I follow along behind them. I need to know what Mikhail sacrificed to the Pakhan. I need to know what penance was paid for me. I sit down, dropping my bag on the floor as they carry him upstairs.
I fidget, trying to keep my mind off the fact that a man I can’t forget is upstairs, having used his body to protect me. He took the bullet meant for me. Tears start to flow, but I stand up, wiping them away. With blurry vision, I head into the kitchen to make a pot of tea and some soup for when Mikhail wakes up.
I don’t know how long I’ve been puttering around. Andrei and Dmitri haven’t come down yet. I don’t hear anything until arms wrap around me, and the tears come harder.
“He’ll be okay. Don’t worry,” a soft voice says, unfamiliar yet soothing. I wipe my eyes and look at the petite woman holding me. Her dark hair is so similar to Lennon’s. “I’m Sparrow,” she adds gently. I endangered this woman’s life, and yet here she is, comforting me.
I can’t stop the fresh rush of tears. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know he had a gun. I didn’t know your brother was still after you. I’m so selfish.” I apologize for the part I played in her abduction months ago.
She pulls me back into her arms, and I gasp.
“Brett wasn’t really my brother. It’s okay. I know why you did it. You were tired of those men neglecting their own children. I want to hurt them too. But that’s not how this world works. Let our men make them regret it. Our men are here to protect and empower us. You’ll learn.”
I pull away from her and raise an eyebrow. “How can you be so forgiving? So nice? You could have been killed, or even worse, because of me.”
“There’s worse than death?” she says with a soft chuckle.
I shake my head at her.
“Rape.”
“Ah yes, there’s that. I’ve been attacked, and Brett threatened to rape me. That’s when I killed him.”
“ Ptitsa ,” a gruff voice says in Russian.
I look over her shoulder and see the boss standing there.
“She has a right to know,” Sparrow says without turning to face him. “Her actions didn’t cause his death. His did.”
“I agree, but she’s not aligned with us right now. Your safety is everything. I told you to stay home.”
“Ainsley is confused.” She turns toward him. “She doesn’t know how you and your brats are. Give her time to learn before you judge her.”
My eyes dart between them. She doesn’t back down. Sparrow stands her ground with him.
“My queen, you are not only sexy but also incredibly smart.” He gives her a warm smile, and she moves to stand next to him.
“Is Mikhail…?” I’m not ready to acknowledge my feelings for him, but I need to know if he’s alive.
“He’ll live,” Andrei says. “He’s still unconscious. The bullet almost punctured his lung. He lost a lot of blood and is stubborn. He’ll be sore, but he’ll make it.”
I watch as Dmitri comes down the stairs. He says something to Andrei in Russian, then looks at me before walking out the door.
“What is my penance?” I ask. I got his soldier and best friend injured. Isn’t that how this world works? I have to pay my dues for taking something from him.
“You don’t owe me penance. You owe him.” Andrei points upstairs. “It’s not money he wants either. He wants someone to fight, to live for him.” He gives me a piece of advice I’ll hold onto.
“He said he had to pay penance for me to you.”
He shakes his head.
“Aren’t you the Pakhan?” I ask, using the term Mikhail used in the car.
“No, that’s my father. I’m his underboss here.”
Confused, I shake my head repeatedly. “He paid your father to protect me. I don’t understand.”
“We all pay our own penance to have you women, except for me. I didn’t have to pay for Sparrow. I just had to show my father she was worth it. Lennon, Lyric, and you tried to ruin the Cardroom and the Lucky Dice. Your damages to the other families were also taken into account. We had to keep the peace, or war would have ensued. It’s not always a monetary payment. Dmitri got into the ring for one more fight. Aleksei gave Pakhan some of his expertise.” He stops, not telling me what Mikhail sacrificed.
“Please tell me,” I beg. I need to know.
“He gave up something very important to him.” Andrei doesn’t offer more.
He guides Sparrow toward the front door, and they walk out, leaving me here to think over what Mikhail could have given up for me.
I move upstairs, where the doctor is finishing up. Mikhail’s eyes flutter open, and he bolts upright. The doctor and I dive for him.
“You’re safe.” Mikhail’s voice is quiet and deep as he pulls me down onto the bed beside him. I try to pull away, but he won’t let me go. “Don’t move, it hurts,” he says gruffly, and I stop moving.
My hand rests on his defined abs, and my head settles against his uninjured shoulder. He falls back to sleep. I lie there until my eyes grow too heavy, and I drift off too.
* * *
Mikhail
I t’s been three days since I was shot, and today, I’m going to get up and going. I tug on a pair of sweatpants and walk downstairs barefoot.
Ainsley is in the kitchen, standing at the stove in one of my shirts. She’s been avoiding me during the day, but at night, I pull her body into mine.
“Did you make the soup I’ve been eating?” I thought Babushka sent it over, but now I’m not so sure.
She doesn’t startle at my voice.
“Yes.” She turns, and I notice her eyes are shuttered. She’s closing me out again. “Why?” she asks.
I pause, my hand hovering over the coffee mug I was reaching for.
“Why what?” I need some clarification.
“Master,” she says, and my hand shakes ever so slightly.
“How did you know?” I don’t bother denying it. She’s too smart for that.
“You called me bunny, and my blindfold slipped that night. I saw one of your tattoos.”
“Well, shit.” I shake my head and finish making my coffee.
“You didn’t want me to know?” Her voice raises slightly.
I turn and lean back against the counter, crossing my long legs at the ankle. I look down into my cup for a moment, then lift my gaze and pin her with my stare, wanting her to see the truth.
“I did, but not until you trusted me as Mikhail. You trusted the Master, but now you don’t, correct?”
“I’m not sure what I believe or trust right now.” She’s honest with me.
Ainsley leans a hip against the island as she stares me down. She doesn’t break eye contact.
“Good. It’s a start. I couldn’t be with you completely as your Master without you knowing my identity.”
“Why did you take that bullet?” She points at my body, ignoring my comment. “You didn’t have to do it. Is it because of the money you already paid to the families?”
I set my mug down and move toward her. I want to lift her up, but I know it would cause me pain. Instead, I wrap my hands around her waist, and she hoists herself up onto the counter.
I wedge my body between her knees, and she doesn’t stop me. She still trusts me. I take her chin gently between my thumb and finger, guiding her gaze to mine.
“There’s no amount of money I wouldn’t pay to protect you, zayka . The moment I touched you, I knew you’d be the endgame for me.” I pull back when she leans in, unable to let myself get any closer. “But I can’t have you. I’ll pay to protect you. I’ll sacrifice for you, but I won’t have you.”
I lean in, nuzzling her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her berries, rose, and woods bodywash. I want to blanket my body with her scent, but I cannot take her.
When I pull back, I see her biting her lip. I tug on her chin, urging her to release it. “No one bruises you but me,” I say before the urge overwhelms me, and I take her lips in a deep kiss. I hold her body close, and I tilt her head exactly where I want it.
She’s breathless when I pull away, her eyes closed and lips swollen from our kiss. I turn and head for my office, knowing I need to work harder to keep my distance.
My cock is hard as a rock, and my balls are tight, wanting the release only she can give me. My hand does nothing since her.
As I shut the door, I hear her curse, followed by the soft thud of her feet hitting the floor. It’s better that she hates me. If she cared, it could expose her to danger I’m not able to protect her from. I have to find a new focus, not that the Pakhan has taken my guidance for the last several years.