Chapter 15
SAGE
My lips are still tingling from the kiss, and I feel pathetic.
It certainly wasn’t sexy, and yet I can still feel the imprint of Dalton’s lips on mine.
I can still feel the pressure of his thumb against my palm.
I can still smell his masculine musk in my nostrils.
And that is exactly the reason I hadn’t wanted to kiss him. I don’t want to want him.
It is so much easier in life to date men for reasons other than want and life.
Not that I don’t crave that deep down. I’m just not sure if I could ever relinquish control of every situation.
I’m not sure I feel comfortable enough to let my guard down and take off the mask.
I’ve spent so many years playing a part, being happy, being outlandish and confident.
Even I sometimes forget how vulnerable I am inside.
It is only at night, when my heart races and my brain won’t shut down, that I feel the heaviness of having to be the strong one.
“Who wants to read their profile first?” Lucia claps eagerly to gather everyone’s attention.
We’re hanging out in a booth at a local ’50s diner, drinking spiked milkshakes and eating chili cheese fries, and I can’t remember the last time Rosie and I had a fun girls’ night like this with friends.
I’m not sure if we’ve ever had really close friends, aside from our cousin Juniper and her best friend.
“Not me,” I pipe up, feeling shy about what I wrote. “Izzy?”
“I don’t mind going first,” she says, grabbing her phone from the tabletop. “I’m ready to find my new boyfriend. A real man who will be there for me.”
“So, did you officially break up with Colton then?” Rosie asks hopefully, and we all lean forward.
I’m almost positive I know the answer. No way she ended it since I last spoke to her earlier in the day.
“Not officially.” Izzy looks at us and shrugs.
There’s a wicked smile on her face. “In my mind, I figure it’s over.
Anyway, it’s not like he cares if I meet someone else.
So, whatever. Two can play his game. He thinks he can have his cake and eat it, too, because I won’t sleep with him.
He just assumes I won’t sleep with anyone else. ”
“But, Izzy, aren’t you waiting for marriage?” Lucia gives her a look.
Izzy shrugs like that’s the last thing on her mind. Or maybe she’s just changed her mind after being in a crappy relationship. I certainly understand that. That’s why I’m looking for money, not love. If men are going to let you down, why hold out for the impossible?
“I’m waiting for a man who’s going to make me feel like I’m the only woman in the world.
I’m waiting for a man who’s going to make me feel like I’m on fire, like he loves me, like he needs me more than anything.
That’s what I really want.” She shrugs. “Ideally, I wanted to wait for marriage, but Colton has made me look at things differently. I want a man who sees no one else but me.”
“Hear, hear, sister.” I clap my hands vigorously because what I most want in a relationship is to be seen that way, too. If I’m truly honest with myself, that is what I value. A man who sees me for me and wants me just as I am. “That’s what I’m looking for as well.”
“Me too,” Rosie adds, though there’s a faraway look in her eyes. “I was hoping it would be Brett, but … well, I haven’t heard from him or seen him in weeks.” She throws her head back and slams her hands down on the table. “I suppose even a doofus like me needs to realize this is going nowhere.”
“Exactly. Girls, we don’t chase. If they want us, they have to come for us,” I say adamantly. “We’re too cool, too pretty, and too smart to waste time on losers. They want us, then they come for us.”
“In more ways than one,” Lucia says with a huge wink, and we all start laughing.
“Maybe I should say they chase us then.”
“Rosie, you want to go first?” Izzy asks.
Rosie shakes her head. “You said you were going to go first. I’m excited to hear what you wrote.”
“I know, but now I’m nervous. What if it sucks?”
“That’s why we’re doing this,” I say, “so that we can help each other. I bet none of our profiles are great right now, but once we give each other feedback, it will be so much better.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll go first. God knows I need the help. This is mine.” Izzy looks at us, clears her throat, and reads from her phone, “Buxom blonde with big blue eyes. Shy virgin seeking an—”
“Stop right there.” I hold my hand up and shake my head. “You are not going to tell the world that you’re a virgin, are you, Izzy?”
Is she crazy?
Maybe we do need Dalton’s dating tips after all. Maybe we are all doomed to have bad dates.
“What’s wrong with it? I wanted men to know so that they wouldn’t expect sex.”
“Girl, that’s going to make them want you even more because they’re going to want to take your virginity,” Lucia says, shaking her head.
“You think so? I wanted to be up front and honest and …”
“That’s too honest. Trust me when I say, don’t bring sex into any of it. What’s the next part?”
“I’m currently in an open relationship.”
I groan loudly. “No, no, no, no. Izzy, all you’re going to find are other guys who are ecstatic about the fact that you’re in an open relationship.”
Lucia gives me a very obvious grateful look, then sighs. “We’re going to have to come back to you, Izzy. What does yours say, Rosie?”
“I’m kind of embarrassed. Can you go next, Sage?”
“Fine. This is what my profile says. Early to mid-twenties. Funny, sassy, single girl, looking for a man who can show her the moon, fly her to the stars, and enjoy chocolate, strawberry, and champagne with her.” I pause. “That’s as far as I got.”
“Wow,” Lucia says with a smile. “That sounds pretty damn good. Dang, girl. Maybe you should write all of ours.”
“I don’t think so. It’s not that good.”
“It’s better than mine.” Lucia grimaces. “Mine sounds like a boring, vapid woman wrote it. Trust me, it is way better than mine.”
“Let’s hear yours, Lucia.” I lean forward. “I have to hear it now.”
“Basically, I just said that I’m looking for a hot guy to take me on fun dates with delicious meals.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I also said that if he wants to spoil me and fly me to France, I’m open to it.” She makes a face. “Maybe I’m coming across as a gold digger, and I don’t really want that. I just want hot men with lots of money contacting me. And not too old.”
“That’s what we want,” Rosie says, giggling, “except we don’t necessarily care if they’re too old.”
“You guys have a thing for old men or something?”
“No, it’s just … Okay, look, I’m going to tell you both something because I love you both, and I really hope you don’t judge us, but it’s the truth.”
“What is it?” Izzy says, looking excited. “I want some juicy gossip.”
“It’s not that juicy. It’s just … we’re looking for billionaires.”
“Aren’t we all?” Lucia says with a giggle.
“No, I mean, we moved here in the hopes of meeting and marrying billionaires so that our lives would be easier, and we wouldn’t have to worry about money, and we could live in a home, and …” I stop. “I mean, it’s not really going to sound good any way that I put it, but …”
“Girl, we listen, and we don’t judge.” Lucia reaches over and grabs my hand. “Seriously. I don’t care if you’re looking for a billionaire. Kudos to you. There are so many jackass men out there. You might as well get one with money.”
“That’s exactly what we said,” Rosie says. “We were nervous to tell you because we didn’t want you to think that we were using you and …”
“Trust me, I’ve been around users my entire life, and you two are not users.
I’m glad you told us because we will have to change up the venues that we go to.
” She looks around the diner. “This place is cool, but I don’t think billionaires are coming here.
And if you two are looking for billionaires, we have to go to the spots where we can find them. ”
“Yeah, that would be cool. I wouldn’t mind a billionaire myself,” Izzy says with a giggle. “I mean, working two jobs isn’t for the faint of heart.”
“I know,” Lucia says. “Trust me, I don’t really like having to live like this and be supported by my brother. I know it’s putting a lot of strain on him now that he left the family business.” She makes a face. “I mean, I could always get my dad to support me, but …” She shakes her head.
This time, Izzy reaches over and grabs her. “I know you don’t want your dad to have to support you again.”
“Exactly.”
Rosie looks at me. I have no idea what the family business is or what Lucia is talking about, but she’s not offering more information, so I’m not going to pry.
“Anyway, I was thinking maybe we should all set a goal so that we can have our first date at the same time, and then we can discuss,” Lucia says, changing the subject. “Maybe we can try and have dates this weekend.”
“That would be cool.” Rosie nods in agreement.
“Yeah, that would be.” I lean back and fight the urge to grab my phone and see if I have any messages.
“I’m going to set up a group chat,” Izzy says. “Just specifically for dates so we can keep in touch and let each other know how the dates are going and if we need rescuing.”
I start laughing at the comment, and they all look at me.
“What’s so funny?” Izzy asks, looking worried, like she thinks I’m laughing at her eagerness.
“Your brother actually offered to be our protector if we wanted him.” I don’t tell them he really just said that he wanted to be my dating coach, and I’m certainly not going to mention the kiss.
“Okay, girls, let’s work on our profiles again,” I say.
“And then let’s reconvene in thirty minutes and read our profiles out loud again.
And if they’re all good, we can go live and see if we can start getting those dates. ”
“You guys want to watch a movie when we get back to our place?” Izzy says.
“What about How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?” Rosie says excitedly. “That’s one of my favorite movies ever.”
“Oh, I love that one too,” Izzy says with a smile. “That sounds good.”
“Okay, so let’s finish our chili cheese fries and burgers, and then we’ll get going,” Lucia says.
I wonder if Lucia can read my mind. I wonder if she’s questioning the fact that her brother offered to be our protector.
She knows him way better than me, so she knows if that is something he would do normally.
I pray to God that it was. I don’t want her suspecting anything.
Not that there is anything to suspect, of course.
I grab a fry, open the Notes app on my phone, and try to create a new profile. It’s at that moment that my phone beeps, and I see I’ve got a message from Dalton. I debate whether or not to read it, but I can’t help myself.
So, I click the screen to see what he said.
What are you up to, SassyAndSingle? Or is it NewAndPretty?
I stare at the message for a few seconds and then start typing back.