Chapter 21—Willow
Too big. God, he’s too big. But in a perfect way, hitting every part of me that needs him.
The stretch burns but also feels amazing.
No one else has ever made me feel this full.
And when he said I would be his forevermore, there was zero panic.
Only a plea that he keeps his promise if this is what it feels like to be his.
He releases my mouth, sitting up enough to get more leverage as he thrusts inside me over and over, hitting that special spot I’d heard existed but never experienced before.
Hell, I’ve never experienced any of this before.
The warm-up to get me ready. The desire dripping down my leg for the man before me, even before he touched me.
The slow glide of his hands, caressing every part of me and making me feel that every inch of me is beautiful. Not ugly or lacking in any way.
Every man before Bobby made me feel as if I were the problem. That not getting soaking wet was normal. That the burn I felt when they pushed in over and over was just part of it. And that them finishing before I even got started was just one of the downsides of sex no one talked about.
But it was all a lie. Lies created by men who didn’t know how to please a woman. Who only cared about their needs and not mine.
Bobby cares. More than I thought possible after such a short time.
I thought it was just me. That it was one-sided. All his words were so careful that everything I thought meant something could have meant a dozen other things.
Not anymore. Now I know the truth. He wants me just as I want him.
Some of my need for him—the desire to be with him in every way possible—might still be a side effect of the panic attack. The need to feel alive and not feel as if I’m going down in the plane like my parents. But that seems like a lifetime ago and not just this morning.
Bobby and I have skated around this attraction for weeks. A short time for some, but long enough for us.
“Fuck, Wildflower,” he growls as I squeeze my pussy around his fat cock in a way I know he’ll like.
Despite what people say, having kids doesn’t stretch out a woman’s vagina.
But it helps us learn the benefits of Kegels.
Something Bobby is reaping the benefits of as I continue to pulsate around his dick with each thrust inside me.
“You keep doing that and I’m going to stick my dick in your mouth to compare which strangles my cock better: your pussy—” He swirls a finger around my clit, making me whimper before moving the same digit to my mouth, pushing it in and letting me suck it clean on a hum of approval.
“—or this pretty little throat.” He moves his finger out of my mouth and wraps his hand around my neck, squeezing enough to pull a groan I didn’t know would come out of me.
“Oh, baby, I’m going to make this neck so pretty.” I don’t know what he means until he squeezes again. My breath catches from the impact, and my pussy flutters on its own.
“Yeah, that’s my girl,” he praises me as he releases my neck and bends down, nipping at my bottom lip before licking it.
Hearing him call me his makes me beam from the inside out. It might just be pretty words in the moment, but I’m so wrapped up in them, in him, that I’m on the verge of letting him do anything to me.
“Now come for me, Wildflower. Let me feel it,” he rasps.
I cry out softly, with a half-thought slipping through the pleasure that I might be able to come just from him speaking if he keeps it up.
He doubles his efforts, and his other hand finds my clit, pinching it at the same time he cuts off my air with his hand at my neck, and I come with a gush. I try to catch my breath, but I can’t, and it stretches the orgasm longer than any I’ve ever given myself before.
“Look at me.”
He holds my throat until I feel my eyes start to roll back in my head. Only then does he release me, and I swear I come all over again. That’s when I feel the true power behind him, as he pumps into me over and over until he growls out his release and collapses on top of me.
I’m still too lost in my own blissed-out mind to care about taking full breaths, just a few sips of air as he slows his own breathing.
Who knew breath play would be my kink? I sure as hell never thought it could be pleasurable, and yet here I lie with barely enough room to take a full, steadying breath, and I relish it as a shiver racks my body with an aftershock of such an intense orgasm.
Then his mouth, that amazing mouth of his, is taking what little air I have away as he kisses me again while rolling us until I’m on top of him, my hair falling around us in a cocoon of just him and me.
He slips free from me, and I feel our combined essence slide between us, but he doesn’t cease his attack on my mouth.
And I secretly love that our mess doesn’t revolt him like those in my past, who seemed to be freaked out about it.
I’m not saying I want to roll around in our juices for hours on end, but this, this cuddling—slow caresses and kisses after?
Totally worth the stickiness between us.
I’ve never kissed a man this much. It’s as if he’s starved for this with the way he keeps taking my lips. I’m not complaining, just taking note after note of everything he does that makes me realize he’s better than I could have ever imagined.
I slow my hunger for his lips, as does he, before I pull back just a little.
His eyes take in all of me as his hands sweep over my face, caressing my neck.
“Did I hurt you?” His gaze travels around my neck before looking back at me.
“No,” I say with a shake of my head, keeping my eyes on him. I want him to see the truth, and I’m not just placating him. Something I bet he gets a lot of in his life. With me, he’ll get the truth. Good or bad, he’ll get it.
There’s so much more we could say to each other.
Maybe more we should say. But as the storm continues to rage on, locking us in candlelight darkness, neither of us voices it.
Instead, I sink back into him, letting his lips part and take my tongue as I push it into his mouth before stirring the embers once more that settled but didn’t die.
We allow the spark to ignite fully again as we make love for hours, continuing into the dead of the night until the storm has long passed.
Only then do we lie spent in each other’s arms as we slumber for a few short hours, cuddled together in a full embrace from the time we close our eyes to when we wake.
To a morning that isn’t rushed, as we eat breakfast and change before taking a car back home.
It’s only when we’re stuck in traffic that our time together starts to feel awkward. For me, at least.
I don’t know what to do. How to act after. I was always dating a man before we took this step. I’ve never been “just friends” before, nor had an affair with someone in my office before. Especially not someone I work directly for.
I might have lived a lifetime because I’m a mother to two amazing little girls, but with this, I’m almost like a teenager. Do I ask Bobby if we’re dating? Do I assume we are? Or was this just a one-time thing?
Biting my bottom lip, I glance out of the side of my eye. Bobby has been busy on calls almost the entire time since we got into the car. Marco doesn’t look at me differently as he drives us, but I feel as if he knows. It seems as if there’s an undercurrent in the air.
I try to keep myself busy on my computer.
It is a workday, after all. And while we had planned to leave this morning, it was later than expected.
Mostly because Bobby made sure we were able to secure new clothes for ourselves to go to the office right away, since he said he needed to be on-site for a few meetings later this afternoon.
Last night and this morning seem like a bubble that was popped the moment I spoke to the girls and our clothes arrived.
We dressed quickly, and then it was out the door and meetings started for him.
I don’t think I’m needed. Not in a clingy way, but I almost feel like I got the best of Bobby last night, only to have it stripped away from me.
It’s just your insecurities. Relax. We might have spoken pretty words of forever last night, but that doesn’t define you. You’re a grown woman who had an amazing night. Don’t let your crazy brain ruin the memory because he isn’t all over you at the moment.
I take a breath and shake my head before nodding at my words. She’s right. Or I am. God, talking to myself in my head gets complicated sometimes.
Last night was one of the best nights of my life, except for when I held each of my girls in my arms for the first time.
Just because it’s not ending with us at a wedding chapel doesn’t mean I need to hang my head low.
So I slept with my boss. Who cares? He’s also my neighbor, and landlord, and the person paying for my girls’ school and keeping me from living on the streets… .
Oh shit, this is bad.
I want to smack my head against a wall to stop the spinning from my brain changing its mind so quickly, but I don’t want to draw attention to myself.
It’s better if I become invisible and all aspects of me fade from Bobby’s mind enough that he doesn’t think he needs to take all the things away that he gave me and my girls.
I jump when a hand grabs mine, then roll my eyes at myself. The only other person in the town car is Bobby, and he knows my body more intimately than I do. I should not be jumping at his touch.
But he ignores my flinch and brings my hands to his, kissing my knuckles a moment before setting our clasped hands on his leg.
We both have our laptops on our laps, but that doesn’t seem to dissuade him from keeping my hand firmly in his. I wonder if he’ll let go, but he soon starts typing a message with his other hand as he bends his neck to hold his cell phone to his ear with his shoulder as he speaks.
I smile. It might not be a diamond ring or flowers, but he’s making a statement. The man who is all business is making me a part of his world while doing what he needs to.
It eases the unwelcome ache in my chest as I type out my own email one-handed.
The rest of the car ride seems to go by faster than the first half. I might have done less than a tenth of the work I was doing when I had two hands, but I enjoyed it a million times more.
When we pull up to the building, Bobby exits and waits with a hand out to help me out. I go to walk by, but he tugs me back, wrapping his other hand in my hair and pulling my face close.
“I have a few meetings off-site that will take me most of the night. Mary will pick you up at the normal time to get the girls.”
“Okay,” I say while looking him over. I spent hours in his arms last night, but being this close still makes me feel giddy. And when he leans forward for a lingering kiss, the last of my worries leave my body.
“Have a good day at work, Wildflower,” He says with a smirk before releasing me, and I walk in a daze into the office and up to my floor.
When Missy greets me with a smile, I clear the daze from my mind and greet her back.
“Hey.” She doesn’t ask where I was yesterday, and I don’t bring it up. Who knows what Bobby told them. No one asked when I returned emails yesterday afternoon either.
The day goes by quickly, and before I know it, the girls and I are exiting the elevator, and I’m using our key to get into our apartment.
“Mommy, you missed it. Mr. Tommy made us sundaes with three kinds of toppings.” Lily hasn’t stopped talking about her special dessert or the impromptu sleepover she and Ivy had last night.
“Did you and Mr. Bobby have any fun, Mommy?” Ivy asks with way too much innocence to make me blush.
“Um, yeah.” Did my voice just squeak? I clear it with a forced cough but feel my throat go even drier with each attempt to clear it.
I put my bag down as the girls put theirs away.
Heading to the fridge, I open it for a Diet Coke, needing not only something to clear my throat but to give me a bit of caffeine. Something tells me I’m going to need the energy to keep up with the bouncing Lily. Sugar seems to last in her body for a full twenty-four hours after consuming it.
But as I pull the soda out, I also pull out the container next to it. The one with a sticky note on it and written in elegant block lettering.
Didn’t think these should go to waste. Maybe next time we can make our own.
I set the note aside just as the girls come into the kitchen and watch me pull the top off.
“Yay! Chocolate strawberries!” Lily reaches in and puts one into her mouth before I can tell her she’s had enough sugar.
Oh well. Kids only stay little for a while, and I’m not about to eat half a dozen snacks on my own.
“Where did they come from, Mommy?” Ivy pulls hers out and licks the chocolate, preferring to have it separate before eating the strawberry.
“Leftovers from last night. Mr. Bobby said you told him I liked these, and he got them to make me feel better.” I say it simply, but I don’t miss the side looks they give each other before breaking out into a fit of giggles.
“What?”
They shake their heads but keep giggling.
“Oh, it’s like that, huh?” I walk around the counter and tickle their sides, and they scream with glee before running away.
“Wash up and change out of your uniforms, babies.” I raise my voice as they dart into their room and shut their door.
I shake my head as I go back to the kitchen, enjoying the laughter coming out of their side of the apartment.
Taking a strawberry, I bite into it and close my eyes to savor the taste.
These might not be homemade, but they are divine.
No doubt they cost a pretty penny, too, if I know anything about Bobby—and by extension Marco, who shops for him.
Pulling out my phone, I open a text, as I know Bobby is busy.
Thank you for my sweet treat. I send a picture of the container with three chocolates gone so he knows what I mean.
I’d say save me some, but I have a feeling little fingers have already claimed most of them.
Not yet, but they will. I smile just thinking about it.
Have to head into a meeting. I’ll call you soon.
My heart flutters that he took the time to let me know he’s ending the texting for now. Trevor just stopped replying when he was done talking, never once letting me know we were done. Okay, bye.
Goodbye, Wildflower.
My heart doesn’t stop double-tapping until the girls rush out of the rooms and claim another strawberry each.