23 #3
“Severin.” Vawn clears his throat. “Wouldn’t you like to rest a bit?”
“No.”
“We’d love a bit of privacy,” I add.
“I feel that I have a right to listen to this, since I was instrumental in your reunion,” the carpet says.
“This is something we need to talk about alone, just the two of us,” I reply. “We promise to fill you in later.”
“You won’t, though,” Severin grumbles. “You always leave out important details.”
“I swear we’ll tell you everything.” I open his case invitingly. His corners slump, but he allows me to roll him up and tuck him inside.
“He does need rest,” Vawn says. “Toward the end of our trip here, he was losing altitude quickly.”
I nod, pursing my lips and staring at my hands. I don’t know what to do with them, so I interlace my fingers.
“You left,” Vawn says quietly.
“I did.” I focus harder on my hands, too nervous to look at his face.
“You said you would only leave me if… if a certain thing became true.” His voice falters.
He’s nervous, too. The realization strengthens me, and I risk a glance at his face. “I did say that.”
“So then, logically…” He’s smiling, the brilliance of white stars in his eyes.
“Logically, then,” I whisper.
“You love me.”
A smile tugs at my mouth. “That’s the inevitable conclusion.”
“And because I didn’t want to endanger you further, I didn’t come after you,” he points out. “I was dragged here by an interfering magic carpet.”
I laugh, and the laugh hurts my throat. My grimace wipes the smile from Vawn’s face.
“I can heal you,” he offers. “I have the rest of our Guild glyph paint in my pocket.”
“No, Vawn. No.” I grab one of his hands and pull it into my lap, tracing the hills of his knuckles and the valleys between them. “You may not value your own life enough, but I do. I value it immensely. And if you love me, you will stop shortening it. Please.”
“Anything,” he breathes, moving closer. “I will do anything you ask.” He leans in, lips approaching mine—and then he pulls back. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t do this. Not after that beast tried to—”
I grab the nape of his neck and draw him in. “Enough waiting. If you don’t fucking kiss me, I might have to stab you.”
He chuckles against my mouth, and then his lips relax, softening and pressing inward. His tongue emerges, and I meet it with the tip of mine.
The kiss fills my entire body with light. Not the bold, harsh light of the sun, but the magical, rippling glow of a unicorn’s mane, flowing as it gallops through the night. Every hoofbeat is a heartbeat, and I’m caught up in the illusion, swept into the magic of him.
For several minutes, nothing exists except his mouth, his tongue, his breath, his scent. But the occasional twinge of my injured side distracts me, and practical considerations begin to tug at my mind.
“You abandoned your betrothal,” I murmur. “How do you think your partners will react?”
“They will either dissolve the contract and turn me in to the Redemptive Authority, or they’ll demand that I fulfill my promise.”
“And will you?”
“Legally I should, I suppose.” His eyes close, dark lashes like scars against his pale skin.
“I had activated my lower glyphs to get through the signing of the contract, but when I found out you were gone, the agony I experienced in that moment was too strong to be muted by magic. I think I lost a decade off my life. That’s what it felt like, anyway. ”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I thought you’d understand what I was trying to say.”
“I did. I hoped I was right, although to be honest, I couldn’t fathom why you would love me. How could you?”
“Too fucking easily.”
His soft laugh is tinged with pain. “I wanted to go after you right away, but the Twins wouldn’t let me take a carpet.
Remin said it was too late in the day, that I would freeze to death if I flew on one of their carpets—which was probably true, given their limitations.
Roxalin asked why I was so desperate to follow you, and when I wouldn’t explain, she cried so hard I thought she would be sick.
I pacified her by agreeing to accompany them to their private parlor, in their suite. ”
“Excuse me?” I glare at him. It’s a relief not to hide my jealousy anymore.
Vawn seems naughtily delighted by my open resentment of the Twins. “You look displeased, sweetheart.”
“I am very displeased. You don’t belong to them.”
“Technically I do.”
I punch his shoulder a few times with my left hand, and he leans away from the blows, laughing. “Only on paper, dearest, and not by any contract of my heart.”
“You should never have gone to their suite,” I insist.
“I only did it because you were gone, and because they wouldn’t let me leave.
I thought I was trapped, Syth. A prisoner.
And I wanted to escape my pain in the old familiar ways.
They promised me the finest zigash I had ever tried.
It was prime stuff, but I only sniffed a tiny pinch of it.
They both took quite a bit, and Roxalin cut hers with something else—maybe moharganth blood powder.
They asked me to strip for them, and I was wasted, so I did… but then…”
“Then what?”
He gives me a shamefaced half-grin. “It’s embarrassing.”
“More embarrassing than taking drugs and stripping for the incestuous twins to whom you betrothed yourself?”
“Well, when you put it like that, I suppose not. They were on the bed, watching me while I took my clothes off… and then I started crying. I couldn’t stop.
Remin said I was ruining his fun, and Roxalin told him to have some pity, and then they began arguing.
Screaming, really. At least she was screaming, and he kept saying horrible things to her in this dead monotone.
I left their chambers and went to my own.
I was so distraught that I didn’t even close the door properly, which allowed Severin easy access to my room, though I’m not sure how he managed to get into the palace.
He woke me out of a sound sleep. Told me to bundle up and bring a warming pan full of coals so I wouldn’t freeze during the journey. ”
“Bless him.” I cast a fond glance at the carpet case.
Vawn smiles briefly in the same direction, but the expression swiftly fades, leaving the echo of sadness in his eyes.
“The world felt so fucking empty without you, Syth. The light—gone. The joy—gone. Nothing worthwhile or interesting or beautiful. You took it all with you. And you had every right to do it, after the way I behaved.”
“You were trying to put your people first. Your reasons were noble—reclaiming your birthright and avenging your loved ones.”
“I wanted you to respect me for acting like a true king and making the difficult choice,” he replies. “But I thought I was only breaking my own heart. I didn’t realize I was breaking yours, too.”
He looks so sad that I rise on my knees and lean closer, kissing his forehead, his cheekbones, his pretty mouth, anything to soothe the sorrow that’s leaking from him, filling the room like a tangible darkness.
I push him down onto his back and crawl over him, settling the lower half of my body against his and running my finger down the bridge of his nose.
“You’ve had to carry so much grief lately,” I whisper.
He clears his throat, avoiding my eyes. “Maybe I caused it somehow, by the way I was living. I was careless, foolish… using everyone around me for my pleasure…”
“Stop.” I grab his face and make him look at me.
“You didn’t cause this. It wasn’t your fault.
Belavrin is the second most prosperous kingdom on the continent.
Someone got greedy for the wealth and power that goes along with ruling a nation like ours, and they killed to achieve their goals.
I think it was a military leader, because the way they took power was so surgical, with as little possible loss of Belavrin lives.
They had strategic experience, as well as intimate knowledge of the royal family’s locations and schedules—”
I refocus on Vawn’s face, on the misery in his eyes. Every word I speak is hurting him right now. We are each sustaining a vast amount of stress—he’s grieving and I’ve been traumatized, first by the bounty hunters and then by the violent widower. It’s too much to think about.
So I push it aside.
I relax against Vawn and I bring my mouth close to his, licking softly at his lips with the tip of my tongue until he opens for me and tilts his chin up, yearning for the full kiss. Only then do I plunge in, kissing him as recklessly as I’ve always wanted to.
“The first time I saw you,” I whisper between kisses, “I wondered what it would be like to kiss your mouth. You had the most perfect lips I’ve ever seen on a man. And by the fates, I hated myself for wanting you.”
A teasing glimmer sparks in Vawn’s eyes. “The first time I saw you, I thought, ‘What kind of bodyguard has tits like that?’ You had the loveliest pair of breasts I’d ever seen on a woman—”
I smack his face lightly, and he laughs, unrepentant, reaching beneath my cloak to squeeze one of my breasts.
His touch is playful, but a flare of arousal runs through me nevertheless, and I kiss him again, with more vehemence.
This time, when we break apart, he’s panting, cheeks painted with a rose flush.
I move down his body, putting aside the layers of the cloak and his garments. Finding the buttons of his pants. One by one they give way, and I widen the opening, shifting the thin layer of his undershorts, pushing them out of the way and exposing the bare, vulnerable length of his cock.
Before he can feel the chill of the air, I bury his whole length in my mouth. I relax my throat, taking him all the way to the hilt.