Chapter Nine
Nine
Cassie had no clue what had prompted her to invite Ian inside. She wasn’t weak. She didn’t need a man and had been just fine on her own for the better part of a year now. But something about Ian kept pulling her toward him, as if some invisible force tugged on her heart.
And when Emily had reached for him, Cassie had waited to see his reaction.
Thankfully, he’d played right along. She’d barely noticed his hesitation and hard swallow, but he hadn’t disappointed Emily.
Maybe kids weren’t the issue with him; perhaps he was just upset because she hadn’t said anything.
But really, when would that conversation have occurred?
When she had fallen into his arms that first day or when she’d told him to strip in the attic?
The image of him doing just that flooded her mind. Cassie was thankful her back was to him as she turned on the oven.
“Hope you like grilled cheese and French fries.” Cassie reached into the narrow cabinet beside the oven and pulled out a cookie sheet.
“Considering I was going to probably have microwave popcorn back in my trailer, grilled cheese and fries sounds gourmet.”
Her phone vibrated on the counter next to the stove. She saw Derek’s name flash across the screen. No and no. If he was so determined to talk to her, he knew where she was.
Right where he’d left her months ago. Pompous jerk.
As she busied herself getting the meager dinner ready for the other man who was driving her out of her mind in a totally different way, she mentally cursed.
Ian was probably used to fine dining, glamorous parties and beautiful women wearing slinky dresses and dripping in diamonds.
Unfortunately, tonight he was getting a single mother throwing together cheese sandwiches while wearing an old, oversize T-shirt to hide her extra weight.
More than likely he’d said yes because he felt sorry for her. Regardless, he was in her house now. Surprisingly he’d pulled up a kitchen chair next to the high chair and was feeding puff snacks to Emily.
The sight had Cassie blinking back tears. Emily’s father should be doing that. He should be here having dinner with them, as a family. He should’ve stuck it out and kept his pants zipped.
But he’d decided a wife and a baby were too much of a commitment and put a damper on his lifestyle.
In the back of her mind, Cassie knew she was better off without him. Any man that didn’t put his family first was a coward. Not suitable material for a husband or father to her child.
But the reality of being rejected still hurt.
Cassie could honestly say she’d gotten over her love, but the betrayal.
.. That was something she would probably never recover from.
Because he’d not just left her; he’d left a precious, innocent baby behind without even attempting to fight for what he’d created.
Being rejected by Ian was just another blow to her already battered self-esteem.
“You okay?”
Cassie jerked back to the moment and realized two things. One, Ian was staring at her, his brows drawn together, and two, she’d worn a hole in the bread from being too aggressive applying the butter.
Laughing, Cassie tossed the torn bread onto the counter and grabbed another piece from the bag. “Yeah. My mind was elsewhere for a minute.”
“Were you angry with that slice of bread?” he asked with a teasing grin.
“I may have had a little aggression I needed to take out.” Cassie couldn’t help but laugh again. “You’re pretty good with her. Do you have nieces or nephews?”
Ian shook his head. “I’m an only child. But there was a set I visited not too long ago that had a baby about Emily’s age. He was the cutest little guy and instantly wanted me over anyone else. I guess kids just like me.”
Great. Now he had a soft spot for kids. Wasn’t that the exact opposite of the image he’d portrayed the other morning when seeing Emily for the first time?
Ian Shaffer had many facets and she hated that she wanted to figure out who the real Ian was deep down inside.
Dinner was ready in no time, and thankfully, the silence wasn’t too awkward. Eating and caring for a baby helped fill the void of conversation. When they were done, Ian went to clear the table and Cassie stopped him.
“I’ll get it,” she told him, picking up her own plate. “It’s not that much.”
“You cooked. The least I could do is help clean.” He picked up his plate and took it to the sink. “Besides, if you cook more often, I’ll gladly clean up after.”
Cassie froze in the midst of lifting Emily from her high chair. “You want to come back for dinner?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t say no if you asked.”
Cassie settled Emily on her hip and turned to Ian, who was putting the pitcher of tea into the refrigerator.
Okay, now she knew this wasn’t pity. He obviously wanted to spend time with her.
But why? Did he think she’d be that easy to get into bed again?
Of course he did. She’d barely known his name when she’d shed her clothes for him.
What man wouldn’t get the impression she was easy?
Cassie turned and went into the living room, placed Emily in her Pack ’n Play and handed her her favorite stuffed horse. Footsteps shuffled over the carpet behind her and Cassie swallowed, knowing she’d have to be up front with Ian.
“Listen,” she said as she straightened and faced the man who stood only a few feet away. “I have a feeling you think I’m somebody that I’m not.”
Crossing his arms over his wide chest, Ian tilted his head and leveled those dark eyes right on her. “And what do you believe I think of you?”
Well, now she felt stupid. Why did he make this sound like a challenge?
And why was she getting all heated over the fact he was standing in her living room?
No man had been there other than her father and her soon-to-be brother-in-law.
She’d moved into the guest cottage on the estate after Derek had left her so she could be closer to the family for support with Emily.
So seeing such a big, powerful man in her house was a little...arousing. Which just negated the whole point she was trying to make. Yeah, she was a juxtaposition of nerves and emotions.
“I think because we slept together you think I’m eager to do it again.” She rested her hands on her hips, willing them to stop shaking. She had to be strong, no matter her physical attraction to Ian. “I’m really not the aggressive, confident woman who was locked in that attic.”
Ian’s gaze roamed down her body, traveled back up and landed on her mouth as he stepped forward. “You look like the same woman to me,” he said, closing the gap between them. “What makes you think you’re so different from the woman I spent the night with?”
She couldn’t think with him this close, the way his eyes studied her, the woodsy scent of his cologne, the way she felt his body when he wasn’t even touching her.
“Well, I...” She smoothed her hair back behind her ears and tipped her head to look him in the eye. “I’m afraid you think that I look for a good time and that I’m easy.”
A ghost of a smile flirted around those full lips of his. “I rushed to judgment. I don’t think you’re easy, Cassie. Sexy, intriguing and confident, but not easy.”
Sighing, she shook her head. “I’m anything but confident.”
Now his hands came up, framed her face and sent an insane amount of electrical charges coursing through her.
As much as she wanted his touch, she couldn’t allow herself to crave such things.
Hadn’t she learned her lesson? Physical attraction and sexual chemistry did not make for a solid base for family, and, right now, all she could focus on was her family.
Between Emily and the race with her sister, Cassie had no time for anything else.
But, oh, how she loved the feel of those strong, warm palms covering her face, fingertips slipping into her hair.
“You were amazing and strong in the attic,” he told her.
He placed a finger over her lips when she tried to speak.
“You may not be like that all the time, but you were then. And that tells me that the real you came out that night. You had no reason to put on a front with me and you were comfortable being yourself. Your passion and ability to control the situation was the biggest turn-on I’ve ever experienced. ”
Cassie wanted to tell him he was wrong, that she wasn’t the powerful, confident woman he thought she was.
But she couldn’t say a word when he leaned in just a bit more, tickling his lips across hers so slowly that Cassie feared she’d have to clutch on to his thick biceps to stay upright.
She didn’t reach up, though. Didn’t encourage Ian in tormenting her any further.
But when his mouth opened over hers so gently, coaxing hers open, as well, Cassie didn’t stop him.
Still not reaching for him, she allowed him to claim her.
His hands still gripped her face, his body pressed perfectly against hers and she flashed back instantly to when they’d had nothing between them. He’d felt so strong, so powerful.
More than anything to do with his looks or his charming words, he made her feel more alive than she’d ever felt.
Ian’s lips nipped at hers once, twice, before he lifted his head and looked her straight in the eyes.
The muscle ticked in his jaw as he slowly lowered his hands from her face and stepped back. “No, Cassie. Nothing about you or this situation is easy.”
Without another word, he turned and walked through her house and out the back door.
Cassie gripped the edge of the sofa and let out a sigh.
She had no clue what had just happened, but something beyond desire lurked in Ian’s dark eyes.
The way he’d looked at her, as if he was wrestling his own personal demon. ..
Cassie shook her head. This was not her problem. Sleeping with the man had brought up so many complications—the main reason she never did flings.
Was that why she kept feeling this pull? Because sex just wasn’t sex to her? For her to sleep with someone meant she had some sort of deeper bond than just lust. How could she not feel attached to the man who made her feel this alive?
Glancing down to sweet Emily, who was chewing on her stuffed horse, Cassie rested her hip against the couch. This baby was her world and no way would she be that mother who needed to cling to men or have a revolving door of them.
Better to get her head on straight and forget just how much Mr. Hollywood Agent affected her mind.
Trouble was, she was seriously afraid he’d already affected her heart.