Chapter Twelve
Twelve
Who was he kidding? There was no way he could stay away from Cassie. All during the business dinner with Lily, his mind had been on Cassie and what she was doing.
By the end of the night he’d nearly driven himself crazy with curiosity about what Cassie and Emily had done all day.
Added to that, Lily hadn’t signed with him.
Not yet. She’d looked over his proposed contract and agreed with most of it, but she’d also said she needed to look over one other contract before deciding.
He was still in the running, but he’d rather have this deal signed and completed so he could move on to other deals waiting in the wings...not so he could focus on the woman who had his head spinning and his gut tied in knots.
After walking Lily to her trailer, Ian crossed the estate toward the two cottages. Only one of Cassie’s outdoor lights was on and she was on her porch switching out the bulb in the other.
“Hey,” he greeted her as he stepped onto the top step. “Need help?”
“I can manage just fine.”
As she stood on her tiptoes and reached, her red tank top slid up over her torso, exposing a tantalizing band of flesh.
“I can get that so you don’t have to stretch so far,” he told her.
She quickly changed out the bulb and turned to face him, tapping the dead bulb against her palm. “I’ve been doing things on my own for a while now. Besides, I won’t be anybody’s second choice. I figured you were smart enough to know that.”
“I’m sorry?”
Somehow he was not on the same page as her and she was mad at someone. From the daggers she was throwing him, he’d done something to upset her. Considering he hadn’t sneaked out of her bed that morning without saying goodbye, he really had no clue what was going on.
“Forget it.” She shook her head and opened her front door, then turned before he could enter. “I’m pretty tired, but thanks for stopping by.”
Oh, hell no. He wasn’t going to just let her be mad and not tell him what was going on. More than that, did she really believe he’d just leave her when she was this upset?
His hand smacked against the door as she tried to close it. “I’m coming in.”
Cassie stepped back and let him pass. Emily sat in her Pack ’n Play and chattered with a stuffed horse, oblivious to the world around her.
“I need to get Emily ready for bed.” Cassie maneuvered around him and picked up Emily. “I may be a while.”
Code for “I’m going to take my time and let you worry.” That was fine; he had no intention of going anywhere.
If Cassie was gearing up for a fight, he was ready. Seeing her pain, masked by anger, had a vise gripping his heart, and he cared too much about her to just brush her feelings aside.
Ian glanced around the somewhat tidy living area and started picking up toys before he thought better of it.
He tossed them into the Pack ’n Play; then he folded the throw and laid it on the back of the sofa, neatened the pillows and took a plate and cup into the kitchen and placed them in the dishwasher.
By the time he’d taken a seat on the couch, he found himself smiling. Where had this little domestic streak come from? He hadn’t even thought twice about helping Cassie, and not just because she was angry. He found himself wanting to do things to make her life easier.
Ian had no clue what had happened with her life before he’d come along, but he knew she was divorced and assumed the ex had done a number on her.
Well, Ian intended to stick this out, at least for as long as he was here. He would make her smile again, because she deserved nothing less.
Cassie wasn’t jealous. Just because she’d heard Ian and Lily had had dinner didn’t mean a thing. Really.
But that green-eyed monster reared its ugly head and reminded Cassie that she’d fallen for a cheating man once before.
On the other hand, what hold did she have over Ian?
He wasn’t staying and he’d never confessed his undying love to her.
But she’d seen his eyes last night, she’d seen how he looked at her, and she’d experienced lovemaking like she never had before.
How could he deny that they’d formed an unspoken bond?
Cassie quickly dried off Emily and got her dressed in her footed bunny pajamas. After giving her a bottle and rocking her gently, Cassie began to sing.
This was the time of night she enjoyed most. Just her and her precious baby girl. Cassie might sing off-key, she might even get an occasional word wrong, but Emily didn’t care. She just reached her little hands up and patted Cassie’s hand or touched her lips.
They had a nightly ritual and just because Ian was out in her living room didn’t mean she would change her routine. Before Emily fell asleep in her arms, Cassie laid her in her crib, giving her a soft kiss on her forehead, then left the room.
Cassie took a moment to straighten her tank and smooth her hair over her shoulders before she started down the hallway.
As she entered the living room, she noticed that Ian was reclined on her sofa, head tilted back, eyes closed, with his hands laced across his abdomen.
He’d picked up the toys and neatly piled them in the Pack ’n Play in the corner.
No. She didn’t want that unwelcome tumble of her heart where this man was concerned. She couldn’t risk everything again on the chance that he could love her the way she loved him.
Tears pricked her eyes as she fully confessed just how much she did love this man. But he could never know.
Her feet shuffled over the hardwood floors, and Ian lifted his lids, his gaze seeking hers.
“Thank you for picking up,” she told him, still standing because she intended to show him out the door.
Shifting to fully sit up, Ian patted the cushion beside him. “Come here, Cassie.”
She didn’t like being told what to do, but she wasn’t going to act like a teenager who pouted over a boy, either.
She was a big girl, but that didn’t exempt her from a broken heart.
Taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch, she gripped her hands in her lap. “What do you want, Ian? I don’t have time for games.”
His eyes locked on to hers. “I don’t play games, Cassie, and I have no idea what you’re so upset about.”
Of course he didn’t. Neither had her ex when he’d cheated.
She eased back against the arm of the sofa and returned his stare. “Do you know why I’m divorced?”
Ian shook his head and slid his arm along the back of the couch as if to reach for her.
“My husband got tired of me,” she told him, tamping down the sliver of hurt and betrayal that threatened to make her vulnerable.
Never again. “The whole marriage-baby thing was cramping his style. Apparently he’d been cheating on me for most of our marriage and I was too naive and dumb to realize it.
You see, I assumed that when we took our vows they meant something to him. ”
“Cassie—”
“No,” she said, holding up her hand. “I’m not finished.
After Emily was born, Derek left. She was barely two months old.
He left me a note and was just...gone. It seems the sexy wife he once knew was no longer there for him, so, in turn, his cheating and the divorce were my fault.
I know now that he was a coward and I’m glad he’s gone because I never want Emily to see me settle for someone who treats me like I’m not worth everything.
“I want my daughter to see a worthy example of how love should be,” she went on, cursing her eyes for misting up. “I want her to see that love does exist. My parents had it, and I will find it. But I won’t be played for a fool while I wait for love to come into my life.”
Ian swallowed, his eyes never leaving hers as he scooted closer. He wasn’t stupid; he could put the pieces together and know she’d assumed the worst about his dinner meeting with Lily.
“I didn’t play you for a fool, Cassie.” His tone was light as he settled his hand over both of hers, which were still clasped together in her lap. “I have never lied to a woman and I’ve never pretended to be something I wasn’t.”
With a deep sigh, Cassie shook her head. “Forget I said anything. I mean, it’s not like we’re committed to each other,” she said as she got to her feet.
But Ian jumped right up with her and gripped her shoulders before she could turn from him.
“Do you seriously think for one second that I believe you’re so laid-back about the idea of me seeing you and another woman?
” he demanded. “I had a business meeting with Lily. I told you I’ve wanted to sign her to my agency for months.
She’s the main reason I came to the set and why I’m staying so long. ”
Cassie’s eyes widened, but he didn’t give her a chance to speak. He needed her to know she didn’t come in second...and she should never have to.
“I spent the entire evening trying to win her over, outlining every detail of the contract and all the perks of having me as her agent.” Ian loosened his grip as he stepped closer to Cassie and slid his hands up to frame her face.
“But the entire evening, I was thinking of you. Wondering what you were doing, how long it would be until I could see you again.”
Her shoulders relaxed and her face softened as she kept those stunning baby blues locked on his. The hope he saw in her eyes nearly melted him on the spot. He knew she wanted to trust. He knew she’d been burned once and he completely understood that need, the yearning for that solid foundation.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. Cassie’s lids lowered as she shook her head before she raised her gaze to his once more. “I don’t want to be that woman. I seriously have no hold on you, Ian. You’ve promised me nothing and I don’t expect you to check in.”
Ian kissed her gently, then rested his forehead against hers. A soft shudder rippled through her and Ian wanted nothing more than to reassure her everything would be all right.
But how could he, when he knew he wasn’t staying? How could they move forward with emotions overtaking them both?
“I hate what he did to me,” she whispered, reaching up to clasp his wrists as he continued to cup her face. “I hate that I’ve turned bitter. That’s not who I want to be.”
Ian eased back and tipped her face up to his. “That’s not who you are. You’re not bitter. You’re cautious and nobody blames you. You not only have yourself to think of—you have Emily, too.”
Cassie’s sweet smile never failed to squeeze his heart, and Ian had no clue how a man could leave behind a wife and child.
Ian wouldn’t mind getting ahold of Cassie’s ex.
He obviously was no man, but a coward. Selfishly, Ian was glad Derek was out of the picture.
If the man could throw away his family so easily, he wasn’t worthy.
“What’s that look for?” she asked. “You’re very intense all of a sudden.”
He had to be honest because she was worth everything he had inside him.
“Where is this going?” he asked. “I care about you, Cassie. More than I thought I would, and I think we need to discuss what’s happening between us.”
A soft laugh escaped her. “You sound like a woman.”
Ian smiled with a shrug. “I assure you I’ve never said this to anyone else, but I don’t want you getting hurt.”
Cassie nodded and a shield came over her eyes as if she was already steeling herself. “Honestly, I don’t know. I care for you, too. I question myself because I’m still so scarred from the divorce and I told myself I wouldn’t get involved again. Yet, here we are and I can’t stop myself.”
Her inner battle shouldn’t make him happy, but he couldn’t help but admit he liked the fact she had no control over her feelings for him.... At least he wasn’t in this boat of emotions alone.
“I don’t want you to be the rebound guy,” she murmured. “But I’m so afraid of how you make me feel.”
Stroking her silky skin, wanting to kiss her trembling lips, Ian asked, “How do I make you feel?”
He shouldn’t have asked. Cassie pursed her lips together as if contemplating her response, and Ian worried he’d put her on the spot. But he had to know. This mattered too much. She mattered too much.
“Like I’m special.”
She couldn’t have zeroed in on a better word that would hit him straight in the heart.
Special. She was special to him on so many levels.
She was special because he’d never felt more alive than he did with her.
He’d never let his career come second to anything before her, and he sure as hell had never thought, with his family issues, that he’d be falling for a woman with a child.
Cassie inspired him to be a better person, to want to care for others and put his needs last.
But most of all he understood that need to feel special. He’d craved it his entire life, and until this very moment, he hadn’t realized that was what he’d been missing.
“You make me feel special, too.” Before now he never would’ve felt comfortable opening up, showing how vulnerable he was on the inside. “I don’t want to be the rebound guy, either.”
Her eyes widened as she tried to blink back the moisture. “So what does that mean?”
Hell if he knew. Suddenly he wanted it all—his career, the Hollywood lifestyle, Cassie and Emily. Cassie had him rethinking what family could be.
There was that other part of him that was absolutely terrified and wanted to hightail it back to Hollywood. But for now, he would relish their time together until he could come to grips with this mess of emotions.
“It means for now, you’re mine.” He kissed the corners of her mouth. “It means you are more to me than any other woman has ever been.” He kissed her directly on the mouth, coaxing her lips apart before murmuring, “It means I’m taking you to bed to show you just how much you mean to me.”
Only wanting to keep her smiling, keep her happy for as long as he was here, Ian slid his arms around her waist and pulled her body flush against his own.
When Cassie’s fingers slid up around his neck and threaded into his hair, Ian claimed her mouth and lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her toward the bedroom, where he fully intended to make good on his promise.