Chapter Fifteen
Fifteen
Thankfully, after a round of medicine and a short nap, Emily was back to her happy self. Cassie put on her bathing suit, wrapping a sheer sarong around her waist, then put Emily into her suit, as well.
Why waste time indoors when there was a beach and rolling waves just steps away?
“You ready to play in the ocean?” Cassie asked Emily as she carried her toward the back door. “You’re going to love it, baby girl.”
The open-concept living room and kitchen spread across the entire back of the house, and two sets of French doors led out onto the patio. Cassie stepped out into the warm sunshine and stopped.
At the edge of the water, Ian stood with his back to her wearing black trunks and flaunting his excellent muscle tone.
The fabric clinging to the back of his well-toned thighs, his slicked-back hair and the water droplets glistening on his tanned shoulders and back indicated he’d already tested the waters.
The man was sinful. He tempted her in ways she never thought possible, made her want things that could never be. They couldn’t be more opposite, yet they’d somehow found each other. And they’d grown so close since their encounter in the attic.
The night of the lock-in had been filled with nothing but lust and desire. Now, though, Cassie was wrestling with so many more emotions. At the top of her list was one she’d futilely guarded her heart against...love.
She completely loved this man who had brought her to his home, shown her his piece of the world. But the clincher was when he’d assumed Emily would accompany them. He knew Cassie and Emily were a package deal, and he’d embraced the fact and still welcomed them.
How could she not fall hard for this intriguing man? He was nothing like her ex, nothing like any man she’d ever known, really. And that was what made him so special.
Emily started clapping and pointing toward Ian. Cassie laughed. “Yeah, we’re going, baby.”
Sand shifted beneath her toes as she made her way toward the man who’d taught her heart to trust again. Just the sight of him had her anticipating their night alone after Emily went to bed.
It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen or touched him all over, but still, his sexiness never got old.
Emily squealed and Ian turned to face her. His gaze traveled over her modest suit and Cassie tamped down that inner demon that tried to tell her that her extra baby weight was hideous. Ian never, ever made her feel less than beautiful, so that inner voice could just shut the hell up.
“You look good in a suit, Cass.”
His low voice, combined with that heavy-lidded gaze, had her insides doing an amazing little dance number.
“I was thinking the same thing about you,” she told him with a grin.
“Mom, Mom, Mom,” Emily squealed again, clapping her little hands and staring out at the water.
“Can I?” Ian asked, reaching for Emily.
Handing Emily over, Cassie watched as Ian stepped into the water.
Slowly, he waded in deeper, all the while taking his hand and cupping water to splash up onto her little pudgy legs.
Emily’s laughter, her arms around Ian’s neck and seeing Ian bounce around in the water like a complete goofball had Cassie laughing herself.
This getaway was exactly what she needed.
Coming off the win at the Preakness and rolling right into a special weekend had Cassie realizing that her life was pretty near perfect right now.
For this moment, she would relish the fact that Ian had to care for her on some deep level.
..possibly even love her. If he only had feelings of lust, he wouldn’t have brought her to his home, wouldn’t have invited a teething, sometimes cranky kid, and he certainly wouldn’t be playing in the water with Emily like a proud daddy.
Cassie hated to place all her hope, all her heart, on one man...but how could she not, when he’d captured her heart the instant they’d been intimate in that attic?
Not wanting to miss out on a single moment, Cassie jumped into the ocean, reached beneath the water and pinched Ian on the butt.
The grin he threw over his shoulder at her told her she was in for a fun night.
Rocking a now peaceful baby had Ian truly wishing for so much. He’d convinced Cassie that he could put Emily to bed. He figured the little one was so tired from the day of playing in the ocean and taking a stroller ride around his neighborhood that she’d fall fast asleep.
She’d been fussy at first and Cassie had shown Ian how to rub some numbing ointment onto Emily’s gums. He’d given Emily a bottle, even burped her, and rocked her until her sweet breath evened out.
He glanced down to the puckered lips, the pink cheeks from the sun—even though they’d slathered her with sunscreen—and smiled. Was it any wonder Cassie worked herself to death? How could a parent not want to sacrifice herself to make such an innocent child happy?
Cassie worked so hard with her sister, worked harder in the stables caring for horses, and she busted her butt to make a secure life and happy home for Emily...all without a husband.
Oh, she’d be ticked if she knew he worried about her not having someone in her life to help her. Granted, she had her father, Tessa and Linda, but whom did she have at night? Who helped her at home?
God help him, but Ian wanted to be that man. The weight of a sleeping baby in his arms, the sweet smell of her skin after her bath and the thought that this innocent child had complete and total trust in him were truly humbling.
Once he knew she was asleep, Ian eased from the rocking chair and laid Emily into the new crib, complete with pink-and-white-striped sheets. When he stood up, she stirred a little, but she settled right in.
A sigh of relief escaped Ian. He’d mastered numerous multimillion-dollar movie deals, he rubbed elbows with A-list actors and he’d managed to start his own agency at the age of twenty-four. But putting a child to sleep all by himself felt like quite an accomplishment.
He glanced at the monitor beside the crib and made sure it was on before he stepped out into the hall and quietly shut the door behind him.
He barely managed not to jump when he noticed Cassie across the hall, leaning against the doorway to his bedroom.
“You did it,” she said with a wide smile. “I’m impressed.”
All thoughts fled his mind as he took in the muted glow that surrounded her from the small lamp in his room.
Her long red curls slid around her shoulders, lying against the stark white silk robe she wore—and what she wasn’t wearing beneath.
The V in the front plunged so deep, the swells of her breasts begged for his touch.
“I like your pajamas,” he told her, crossing the hallway and immediately going to the belt on her robe. “Reminds me of something...”
Cassie lifted her arms to wrap around his neck. “What’s that?”
“The fact I haven’t seen you naked in several days.”
She shifted, allowing the material to slide from her shoulders and puddle at her feet. Ian’s hands roamed over the soft, lush curves he’d come to love and crave.
“You feel so good,” he groaned as he trailed his lips from her jawline down the smooth column of her neck. “So perfect.”
When she trembled beneath his touch, Ian cupped her behind and pulled her flush against his body. Nothing had ever felt so right. Every time Cassie was in his arms, contentment settled deeper and deeper into his heart.
She undressed him rapidly, matching his own frenzy. Ian had brought other women to his home. Not many, but a few. Yet he knew the second he laid Cassie beneath him and looked down into her blue eyes...he never wanted another woman in this bed.
He knew she wasn’t asleep. The full moon shone through the wide expanse of windows across the room from the king-size bed and directly across their tangled bodies.
Cassie’s breathing wasn’t even and he’d felt the soft flutter of her lashes against his arm. Whatever thoughts consumed her mind, they were keeping her awake.
More than likely they were the same things that had him awake hours after they’d made love...twice.
Ian trailed his fingertips over her hip, down into the dip of her waist and back again. Goose bumps prickled beneath his touch.
“Talk to me,” she whispered in the darkened room.
Words that had frightened him on more than one occasion after sex.
But this was so different from any other time.
First, Cassie was like no other woman. Second, what had just happened between them was so far beyond sex.
And third, he actually didn’t cringe as the words hovered in the air between them.
Moreover, he wanted to talk to her. He wanted her to know about his past, his life and what had brought him to this point...and why the thought of commitment scared the hell out of him.
Part of him truly wanted to try for her. Never before had he even considered permanent anything in his life, let alone a woman and a child. Cassie changed everything for him, because she was starting to be everything for him.
Of course, there was that devil on his shoulder that kept telling him he couldn’t just try out playing house with this woman.
She was genuine, with real feelings and a heart of gold that she had to protect.
If he attempted to try for a long-term spot in her life and things didn’t work out, he would never be able to forgive himself.
“My childhood wasn’t quite as rosy and enjoyable as yours.
” The words tumbled out before he thought better of opening up about the past he hated to even think about.
“My father was a military man. Things had to be perfect, and not just perfect, but done five minutes ago. When he was home on leave, if I had a chore, I had better get to it the second he told me or I would face punishment.”
Cassie gasped next to him. “He hit you?”
Ian stared up at the darkened ceiling as he continued to trail his fingertips over her lush, naked curves.
“On occasion. But it wasn’t a beating. He was old-school and a hand to my backside wasn’t unheard of.
But then he came home less and less because he and my mother divorced.
That’s when she started bringing her male friends into the house. ”
Ian recalled how weird it felt having a strange man at the breakfast table when he woke up, but eventually he didn’t question his mother...and he didn’t ask the names of the men. Would it matter? They’d be gone when she finished with them anyway.
“My mom is currently in the middle of her fourth divorce and I’ve no doubt number five is waiting in the wings absolutely convinced he’s the one.”
Cassie’s arm tightened around his abdomen. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine.”
Her warm breath tickled his chest, but Ian wouldn’t have it any other way. He loved the feel of her tucked perfectly against him, her hair falling over his shoulder, the flutter of her lashes against his side.
“Don’t be sorry,” he told her. “There are kids way worse off than I was. But I always wished I had parents who loved each other, who loved me. A family was everything to me when I was younger, but I wanted the impossible.”
A drop of moisture slid down his side. Ian shifted his body, folding Cassie closer as he half loomed over her.
“Don’t cry for me.” In the pale moonlight, her eyes glistened. Had anyone ever cried for him before? “I’m fine, Cassie. I guess I just wanted you to know what I came from.”
Soft fingertips came up to trail down his cheek. Her thumb caressed his bottom lip, and his body responded instantly.
“I’m crying for the little boy who needed love and attention,” she whispered. “And I’m crying for the man who fits so perfectly into my family, I’m terrified of how we’ll get along without him.”
Her declaration was a punch to his gut. The fact that they’d never mentioned his leaving after the film wrapped hung heavy in the air between them. And knowing she not only worried about his absence, but she’d cried over it had him hating himself on so many levels.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmured as he slid his lips across hers. “That’s the last thing I’d ever want.”
Adjusting her body so she could frame his face with her hands, Cassie looked up at him with those damn misty eyes and smiled.
“I know. I went into this with my eyes wide-open. For right now, though, you’re mine and I don’t want to think about tomorrow, Ian.
I don’t want to worry about that void that will inevitably come when you’re gone. ”
Her hips tilted against his. “I just want you. Here. Now.”
As he kissed her lips he had a hard time reining in his own emotions, because Cassie was dead-on about one thing.... There would most definitely be a void—the one he would feel without her by his side.