Chapter Twenty
Twenty
Ian had a wonderful surprise planned for Cassie. He couldn’t wait for her to get home.
Not only had Tessa and Cassie taken the Belmont Stakes and the coveted Triple Crown, but Cassie was on her way back and Ian had to get the stage set. They had so much to celebrate.
Very few had ever taken home the Triple Crown title, and Tessa was the first female jockey to own the honor. The Barrington sisters had officially made history and Ian was so proud he’d been able to witness a small portion of their success. He hated he wasn’t there in person, though.
Ian had opted to stay behind for two reasons. So they could both concentrate on their own work without distractions and to see if he could handle being without her.
He couldn’t.
After a perfect morning in which Lily officially signed with his agency, he was now in town hitting up the quaint little florist, about to buy an exorbitant amount of flowers in a variety of colors and styles.
He wanted her cottage to be drowning in bouquets for the evening he had planned.
Not only because he had high hopes about their future, but because she deserved to be placed on a pedestal after such a milestone win.
He may have also had Linda’s help in the matter of planning.
The days they’d been apart had been a smack of reality to the face. He didn’t want to be without her, without Emily. He was ready to make a family with them.
He also realized that love and marriage—and fatherhood—weren’t scary at all once you found the person who totally completed you.
This family had instantly been so welcoming, so loving, and Ian couldn’t be happier. From Linda to sweet Emily, he was so overwhelmed by how easily they accepted him. And now Cassie was about to get the surprise of her life.
As Ian rounded the building that housed the flower shop, he smacked into someone...Derek. Great.
“You’re still in town?” Ian asked, eyeing the man clutching a massive bouquet of roses.
Derek shielded his eyes from the warm afternoon sun. “I’m not leaving until I get what I want.”
Becoming more irritated by the moment, and a tad amused, Ian crossed his arms over his chest. “That will be a while, considering what you want is mine.”
“Yours? My family is not your property,” Derek clarified.
“They’re also not your family. Not anymore. Cassie made her choice.”
“Did she? Because the Cassie I know loves family.” Derek adjusted the flowers to his other hand and shifted beneath the awning of the flower shop to shield himself from the sun.
“It means more to her than anything. Do you think she’d honestly choose some young guy who she just met over the father of her child?
Because I can assure you, she’ll put Emily’s needs ahead of her own. ”
There was a ring of truth to Derek’s words, but there was also no way Ian would show any emotion or allow this guy to step into the life he was trying to build.
“Don’t blame me or Cassie because you realized too late that you made a mistake,” Ian said, propping his hands on his hips and resisting the urge to take those flowers, throw them on the ground and crush them.
“Cassie and I have something, and there’s no way you’re going to come charging in like you belong. You missed your chance.”
Derek smiled. “I didn’t miss anything. You see, no matter how much you hate me, I am Emily’s father.
She will want to know me and I will make damn sure my lawyer does everything he can to get my baby girl in my life.
Now, if Cassie wants to come, too, that’s her decision, but I’ll fight dirty to get what I want.
Considering the fact that you are a Hollywood playboy, combined with the perfectly timed image in the paper, I don’t see how I can’t use that against Cassie.
Obviously she’s eager to get any man’s attention—”
All control snapped as Ian fisted Derek’s shirt and slammed him against the old brick building. Petals flew everywhere as the bouquet also smacked against the wall.
“Listen here, you little prick.” It was all Ian could do not to pummel the jerk.
“I will not be bullied into giving up what I want, and Cassie will not be blackmailed, either. If you want to see your daughter, then go through your attorney the proper way, but don’t you dare use your own child as a pawn. Only a sick ass would do that.”
Stepping back, Ian jerked the bouquet from Derek’s hand and threw it down on the sidewalk. He’d held back long enough and Ian knew full well whom that arrangement was meant for.
Ian issued one final warning through gritted teeth. “Stay away from me and mine.”
As he walked away, he didn’t go into the flower store as originally intended. He had some thinking to do.
No, he wouldn’t be intimidated by some jerk who thought he could blackmail his way back into Cassie’s life, but if Ian’s presence was going to cause issues with custody of Emily, Ian knew he had a difficult decision to make.
As he headed back to his sporty rental car, the small box in his pocket felt heavier than ever.
Cassie had never been so eager to return from a race, especially one as important as this one.
They’d done it. The Barrington women had conquered the racing world and brought home the Triple Crown. Cassie was pretty sure she’d be smiling in her sleep for years to come. She and Tessa had worked so hard, prayed even harder, and all their endless hours and years of training had paid off.
But beyond the joy of the racing season coming to an amazing end, Cassie couldn’t wait to celebrate with Emily and Ian and wanted to get Derek taken care of so he would leave her alone once and for all.
Because she’d gotten home later than intended, Linda had stayed in the cottage and put Emily to bed. Now Cassie was alone, her baby sleeping down the hall and unpacked bags still just inside the door where she’d dropped them.
She had to see Ian now. Too many days had passed since she’d seen him, touched him. Each day she was away from him she realized just how much she truly loved him.
A gentle tap on her front door had her jerking around. The glow of the porch light illuminated Ian’s frame through the frosted glass. She’d know that build anywhere and a shiver of excitement crept over her at the thought of seeing him again. She hadn’t realized she could miss someone so much.
But the second she flung the door open, ready to launch into his strong hold, she froze. Something was wrong. He wasn’t smiling, wasn’t even reaching for her. Actually, his hands were shoved in his pockets.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, clutching the door frame.
Ian said nothing as his gaze moved over her. Something flashed through his eyes as he settled back on her face...regret?
“Ian?”
He stepped over the threshold, paused within a breath of her and then scooted around her. After closing the door behind her, she leaned against it, unsure of what to say or how to act.
Her eyes locked on to Ian’s as silence quickly became the third party present. Moments ago she’d had nothing but hope filling her heart. Now fear had laid a heavy blanket over that hope.
“This is so much harder than I thought it would be,” he whispered, his eyes glistening. “I had tonight planned so different.”
“You’re scaring me, Ian.”
Wrapping her arms around her waist, Cassie rubbed her hands up and down her bare arms to ward off the chill.
“I love you, Cassie. I’ve never said that to another human being, not even my own parents.
” Ian stepped closer but didn’t touch her.
“Tonight I thought I would tell you I loved you, show you that I can’t live without you and Emily, but I’ve thought about it all evening and came to the hardest decision of my life. ”
Cassie wasn’t a fool. She knew exactly what he was going to say. “How dare you,” she whispered through tears clogging her throat. “You tell me you love me a breath before you’re about to break things off? Because that’s what this is, right?”
Ian ran a hand over his face. “Damn it, Cassie. I’m letting you go to make things easier. I can’t keep you in my life, knowing I could be the one thing that stands between you and keeping custody of your daughter.”
Realization quickly dawned on Cassie. “You bastard. You let Derek get to you, didn’t you? I never took you for a coward, Ian.”
“I’m not a coward, and if Emily weren’t in the picture I would stay and fight for you.
..and I’d win. But Emily deserves a chance to know her father, and I can’t stand the thought of you sharing custody or possibly losing because Derek is going to fight dirty.
He said it himself. This way, with me gone, maybe you two can come to some sort of peaceful middle ground. ”
Torn between hurt, love and anger, Cassie tried to rein in her emotions.
“You’re leaving me because you’re afraid.
I understand that you didn’t have a great childhood, which makes me respect you all the more for stepping up and loving Emily the way you have.
But don’t you dare leave now when things get tough.
I thought you were more of a man than that. ”
He jerked as if she’d slapped him. “Trust me, Cass. In the long run, this is the best for Emily.”
“What about me?” she cried. “I love my daughter and her needs will always come first, but you say you love me. So what about that? What about us?”
The glistening in his eyes intensified a second before a tear slid down his cheek. He didn’t make a move to swipe it away and Cassie couldn’t stop staring at the wet track.
Her heart literally ached for the man who was trying to be strong and, in his own way, do the right thing. But damn it, she wanted more and she thought she’d found it with him.
As she stepped forward, Ian took a step back. And that lone action severed any thread of hope she had been holding on to.
“I’m barely hanging on here,” he whispered. “You can’t touch me. I have to be strong for both of us. Just think about what I said. You’ll know that I’m right. There’s no other way if you want to keep Emily. Derek won’t play fair, and if I’m in your life, he’ll use that against you.”
He took in a deep, shuddering breath. “I want to be part of your life, Cass. I want to be part of Emily’s. But it’s because I want so much to be a part of your family that I must protect you both, and unfortunately, that means I need to step aside.”
Cassie hated the emotions whirling about inside her. So much love for this man and so much hatred toward another. Damn Ian for being noble.
“If you’re not staying to fight for me and with me, then leave.” Blinking back tears and clenching her fists at her side to keep from wrapping her arms around him, Cassie held his gaze. “You’ve done what you came to do, so go.”
Ian slid a hand from his pocket, clutched something and reached out to place it on the end table by the sofa.
“What I came to do was quite the opposite,” he told her as he took a step toward her.
“But I want you to have that and remember that I do love you, Cassie. No matter what you think right now. I’ll always love you. ”
Without touching her, without even a kiss goodbye, Ian stepped around her and quietly walked out of her life.
Drawing in a shaky breath, she took a step toward the end table and saw a blue box.
Her heart in her throat, Cassie reached for the box.
Her hands shook because she knew exactly what would be beneath that velvety lid.
Lifting the lid with a slow creak, Cassie gasped. Three square-cut stones nestled perfectly in a pewter band had tears spilling down both cheeks. Cassie’s hand came to her mouth to hold back the sob that threatened to escape.
Ian had put all of their birthstones in the ring...a ring he’d planned on giving her when he told her he loved her.
Unable to help herself, she pulled the band from the box and slid it on. A perfect fit—just like the man who had walked out the door moments ago.
As she studied the ring on her finger, Cassie knew there was no way she would go down without a fight. No way at all. Emily would come first, as always, but who said she couldn’t have the man of her dreams and her family?
If Derek wanted to fight dirty, well, bring it on, because Cassie had just gotten a whole new level of motivation to fuel her fire. And there was no way in hell Derek would take her child or the dreams Cassie had for a future with Ian.
The depth of Ian’s love was so far beyond what she’d dared to imagine. His strength as a man and father was exactly what she needed, wanted...deserved. She wouldn’t let his sacrifice go to waste.