Chapter Six #2
After a few minutes, she reminded herself that women were late all the time without it meaning they were pregnant and she should give it a few more days. No sense worrying needlessly. She simply put it out of her mind and got ready for work.
But when the next two days passed with no change, she had to get a home pregnancy test. She couldn’t get it in Verity or any town in the surrounding counties where she knew nearly everyone.
She was having Tony’s baby. She knew it. Shock buffeted her. How could she deal with it?
She was going to have to figure out how to deal with it. She picked up her phone to send a text to her foreman. Something’s come up. I’ll call later.
In a minute she received a reply: Okay. She put her head in her hands.
If only she could undo everything and go back to the way she and Tony had been before the auction.
She didn’t want to be pregnant with Tony’s baby.
She’d always thought someday she would marry and have a family.
Now she was going to have the family without the marriage.
She didn’t want Tony to know yet. She had to have plans in place so he couldn’t take over.
She ran her hands through her hair. She wasn’t ready for this. Tony would want to be part of his child’s life, and he would take charge and tell her what to do the moment he learned she was carrying his baby.
Telling her how to run her ranch would be nothing compared to telling her how to raise a baby.
Their baby.
A Milan baby.
A Milan baby fathered by a man she could never marry.
But their families would want them to marry.
Hers would pressure her, just as his would pressure him.
She knew he was the family type who would think they should marry for this baby’s sake.
She would have a bigger fight with Tony than she had ever had before.
Running two big ranches and raising a baby together.
They wouldn’t have a battle—they’d have a war!
She put her head in her hands to cry, something she rarely did.
How would she cope with this? For once in her life she felt overwhelmed.
For a few minutes as she cried, she let go, swamped by a looming disaster.
She raised her head and her gaze fell on a picture of her nephew she had taken when Scotty was two.
He was laughing, sitting astride a big horse and holding the reins.
She loved the picture and she loved Scotty with all her heart and had always hoped she would have a little boy just like him.
She sat up, dried her eyes and stared at Scotty’s picture, pulling it close. She was going to have a baby and maybe her child would be as wonderful as Scotty. And her family would stand by her. She had no doubts about that.
She had always avoided dating ranchers until Tony. When she bought a night with him at the auction, she had not expected to fall into bed with him or to even want to see him again.
She should have stuck to her rule of not dating a rancher, no matter the circumstances. But it had never once occurred to her that she could be attracted to Tony, not until she had seen him in that tux, looking so sexy, those eyes that could convey enough desire to melt her.
Logic said to make a doctor’s appointment and have her pregnancy verified by a lab and a professional. She could get a home kit, but she wanted a doctor’s results to be certain. That was step one. Telling Tony would be step two and the one that she could not cope with thinking about now.
Why had she ever bid for him in the damn auction?
No undoing that night now, but it was coming back to haunt her.
She needed to plan and to find a good doctor.
She couldn’t go to a doctor in Verity or anywhere around the area.
Texas might not even be big enough. She didn’t want word getting to Tony until she was ready to tell him herself.
She should fly to a big city, like Tulsa or Albuquerque, but she didn’t know any doctors there.
She thought about Savannah, Mike’s pregnant wife who was from Arkansas.
If Savannah gave her an Arkansas doctor’s name, she could drive to Dallas and then fly to Arkansas without anyone else in the family knowing where she had gone or why.
As she thought about her older brother, Mike, she wanted to talk to him and to Savannah.
Because of Scotty, she had gotten where she felt close to Mike, and now that he had married Savannah, they would be the ones to talk to about her situation.
Savannah had never intended to become pregnant and when her ex-fiancé in Arkansas found out, he had been hateful and hadn’t wanted his baby.
Lindsay sighed. At least she would never have to worry about that with Tony.
It would be just the opposite with Tony.
He would want this baby in his life all the time.
Madison, Jake’s wife, was expecting, too.
That would help soften Jake’s attitude about her situation.
And Jake liked Tony. Her brothers liked him and their wives did, too.
She had been the sole member of her generation to fight him.
In fact, it was the older generations of Calhouns that didn’t like the Milans.
She had heard Destiny talk about her grandmother’s intense dislike of Milans.
Maybe that had eased up now that Wyatt and Destiny were married, as well as Jake and Madison.
She had always been close to all her brothers, particularly Josh when they were young, so Josh and Abby would give her support. Abby had a heart of gold and would be as kind as Josh.
Looking again at the calendar, she picked up her phone and called Savannah and in minutes made arrangements to see her.
By noon she was showered and dressed. She studied herself in the mirror, turning first one way and then another, knowing it was ridiculous to expect to see any change yet. Her cell phone rang. When she saw it was Tony, she ignored the call.
Smiling, Savannah opened the back door. “Come in. Mike is out on the ranch somewhere and you said not to call him, so I didn’t. Scotty is napping.”
“I’ll make this short, Savannah. I wanted to talk to just you. Not Mike. And not Scotty right now.”
“Sure. Come in,” Savannah said, stepping back out of the way and shaking her blond hair away from her face. “Want a cool drink?” Savannah asked.
“Ice water would be fine, and you sit and let me get it and whatever you want to drink. I know this kitchen almost as well as my own.”
“I’m a little clumsy, but I’m not feeble.
I can get us glasses of water,” Savannah said as she turned to wash her hands and get down glasses.
Lindsay’s gaze ran over Savannah’s navy T-shirt and jeans.
She knew Savannah’s baby was due in October, which was only weeks away now that it was already the first day of September.
Savannah’s round belly didn’t look big enough to deliver in another month. “You don’t look very pregnant.”
“I feel very, very pregnant. And believe me, there’s no such thing as not very pregnant.”
Lindsay laughed politely, but she still couldn’t cope with the prospect of being pregnant or joke about it. Each time she thought about it, she also wondered how she would ever tell Tony. She had no answer to that one.
In minutes they had glasses of water and sat in the family room. Savannah gazed at her. “I heard you and Tony got along fine on your auction date. And you’ve been out with him since.”
“I suppose it’s impossible to keep our going out together private as long as we go out in Texas.”
“I don’t imagine you can. Both of you know many people,” Savannah said. She sipped her water. “Are you okay, Lindsay?” she asked finally.
“I don’t know. That’s why I think you’re the one to talk to. I do need to keep this secret awhile and I thought about you being from Little Rock. I need to see an obstetrician without my family or anyone else around here knowing except you and Mike. Savannah, I think I’m pregnant with Tony’s baby.”
“Oh, my word,” Savannah said, her blue eyes growing wide. “I know that’s a shock.”
“It is a shock that I haven’t adjusted to, but I want it officially confirmed.”
“Maybe you’re worrying needlessly.”
“I don’t think so. I feel it to my bones.”
“Oh, my. It’ll be better than what I went through, although it led me to Mike.
With Tony, it’ll be good. He’ll marry you, Lindsay.
It’s obvious you have made peace with each other.
And the whole Calhoun family loves Tony.
And he’s so good to Scotty. Scotty is crazy about Tony even though they don’t see each other often. ”
“I can’t imagine Tony wanting to marry me and I don’t want to marry Tony.
I don’t want to marry any rancher. Until Tony, I’ve never even dated one.
Marriage to one would be a perpetual clash because I want to run my ranch my own way and I don’t want some other rancher telling me to change the way I do things. And Tony is a take-charge person.”
“Oh, dear.” Savannah frowned. “You might have a problem.”
“I have a big problem.”
“Are you sure you’re pregnant?”
“About ninety-nine percent, but that’s why I want your doctor’s name.
I should see a doctor before I get Tony all stirred up.
Other than you and Mike, I don’t want anyone else to know I even suspect I’m pregnant until I verify it.
Then I can tell Tony. I haven’t even tried a home pregnancy test yet because I’ll have to drive so far to get away from everyone I know, but I’m going today.
” She shook her head. “Even though I know what the outcome will be.”
“Let me call my doctor’s office and introduce you, then you can get on and make an appointment. Until you have a home test and the lab tests and have a doctor confirm your condition, you don’t know for sure. You may not even be pregnant and may be worrying for nothing.”
“Hopefully not, but if I had to bet, I’d bet the ranch that I am.”
Savannah’s eyes widened. “You mean that?”
Lindsay shrugged. “You get a feeling for things, you know?”
“Mike says you have a knack for knowing things and a touch that’s just right. He’s impressed by your abilities.”
“That’s nice. He hasn’t mentioned that to me.”
Savannah laughed. “You’re his little sister. He probably doesn’t realize he hasn’t told you.” She stood up. “Let me make that call before Scotty is up or Mike comes home. This doctor is so good about working people into his schedule.”
Within the next thirty minutes Lindsay had an appointment in Little Rock on Thursday.
She sat again to face Savannah. “I really thank you for this. That was very nice.”
“I’m glad to help. I only hope Mike doesn’t suspect anything.”
“Savannah, I don’t want you to have to keep secrets from Mike. Just make it clear that you two are the only ones I’m telling at this point.”
“I can wait a bit to tell Mike. He’ll understand.”
“You really don’t need to, but thanks. I better go.”
They walked to the door. “Take care of yourself,” Savannah said. “Call me after you see the doctor. I’m your sister-in-law, and I’m also your friend. I can give you my doctor’s name in Dallas, too.” They gazed at each other and Savannah reached out to hug Lindsay.
“Thanks, Savannah. You’re really good for Mike and good for our family.”
“He and Scotty and the Calhouns are wonderful for me, too. Take care of yourself.”
“I will,” Lindsay said, and hurried to her pickup to drive home.
Thursday she drove to Dallas and flew to Little Rock to go to the doctor’s office.
She was thankful no one would know or question what she was doing or where she was going.
The only person who came close was Abe, who had worked for her family since he was seventeen.
She saw the questions in his eyes, but he didn’t voice them.
The only thing that indicated his feelings was when she told him goodbye.
“Lindsay, if you want me to do anything, let me know,” he said, looking intently at her, and she was certain he knew she had something she was hiding.
“Thanks. I will. I’m all right,” she answered, looking into his light brown eyes. “I have my phone and if I need anything, I’ll call. I’ll be back tomorrow about noon.”
“Sure,” he said. He settled his brown hat on his head, nodded and headed back to the barn as she climbed into her pickup to drive to Dallas.
Now as she got out of the cab in front of the obstetrician’s office, she felt her heart start to pound and her palms sweat.
But that anxiety was nothing to what she felt when she came out.
She felt so stressed she had to stop on the sidewalk.
She stood staring and not seeing anything in front of her.
Hot September sunshine blazed overhead, but chills skidded up her spine.
She had known for the past two weeks that she was pregnant, but to have it confirmed by a home pregnancy test and now, to hear it officially announced by a physician after a lab test made it real.
How was she ever going to tell Tony?