Chapter Ten #2
“Lindsay isn’t going to tell me one damn thing.”
Madison looked startled and stared at him intently.
“We don’t speak, we don’t see each other. It’ll have to change later, but that’s the way she wants it now.”
“Sorry to hear that. I’ll tell you about Mike and Savannah.” She gave him a hug, then leaned away to look intently at him again. “Be patient with Lindsay. This is a giant change for both of you.”
“Sure,” he answered, knowing his sister meant well. He stood on the porch and watched her drive away, his thoughts on Lindsay. Lindsay was unhappy? She did what she wanted to do.
And how unhappy was she? It had to be a lot to worry Jake enough to get Madison to drive out and talk to him. He wished Lindsay’s unhappiness was because she missed him, but he knew better. She was probably unhappy with him and unhappy she had to change her lifestyle.
He carried his dishes into his empty house. As he passed his landline, he stared at the phone, tempted to pick it up and call Lindsay to just talk. He missed her and every time he realized that he missed her, it surprised him.
How important had she become to him?
He couldn’t answer his own question.
The next week he threw himself into work, going to the corral to ride some of the unbroken horses at night with a few of the men who worked for him, just keeping busy. But none of it stopped the moments of longing for Lindsay.
Nights were long and unpleasant. He had always fallen into bed and been asleep instantly, sleeping soundly until early morning. Not anymore. His nights were filled with memories of Lindsay, dreams about her, moments of missing her.
The weekends were worse because he had no one he wanted to go out with. He missed her and the longing to see her intensified instead of diminished, until he finally sat up in bed one night, tossed back the covers and walked out on his porch.
The gray dog was still recovering, but better. The bandages were gone and his hair, where they’d had to shave it away to work on his cuts, was growing out again. He had gained weight and his coat was shiny now. Tony kept it brushed so it wasn’t a tangle.
Tony let him stay at the house with him.
The dog seemed a faint tie to Lindsay, and Tony enjoyed having him around.
When he went to the porch, the dog followed him, sitting with his head on Tony’s knee while Tony scratched his ears.
“Maybe I should invite her over to see you,” he said to the dog, who wagged his bushy tail.
Tony sat quietly while he thought about Lindsay. He thought about her constantly each day. Was he in love with her and hadn’t realized it when it happened?
If he was, he didn’t know where it could lead. She was as stubborn as ever, refusing to give an inch, while she had accused him of being too take-charge and bossy. Plus, he was a rancher—the kind of man she said she would never marry.
He sat in the dark and mulled over his feelings for Lindsay and the problems between them.
Madison had said Lindsay was unhappy. Was their parting a cause of her unhappiness? Could he ever get past her stubborn nature? He had some of the time. His heartbeat quickened at the thought of getting past their problems. Could he think before he told her what she should do?
Could he live without her?
Was he in love with her?
Staring into the dark, he realized he was. He wanted her in his life. Lindsay would be a challenge, but if he loved her, he would cope with her. But could he get her to consider working with another rancher? That wasn’t impossible. He worked with them all the time and for that matter, she did, too.
Suddenly feeling better, he wanted to call her and he wanted to be with her. One thing he knew for certain: he didn’t want to lose her. Someone would come along and marry her and, at the thought, he felt as if he had been punched in his heart.
He needed to get her a ring and tell her how he felt and propose—for real this time. He had fallen in love with her and hadn’t even recognized the depth of his own feelings.
He remembered her call at three in the morning when the dog was howling. It was about four o’clock now. What would happen if he called her, told her he had to see her? Could he get her to listen to him and go out with him?
Or was she out of his life no matter what he felt for her?
Lindsay sat up and shook her hair back away from her face. She stared into the dark bedroom as she clutched the phone. “Tony?” she asked, sounding more alert. “It’s four in the morning. What’s wrong?”
“Lindsay, I need to see you. Let me pick you up for dinner tonight.”
She frowned at the phone. “You called at 4:00 a.m. to ask me to dinner?”
“You called at three to tell me a dog was howling. Will you have dinner with me? We need to talk.”
She couldn’t imagine what the urgency was, but her heartbeat quickened because she missed him and she wanted to be with him.
“Yes, I’ll go to dinner with you. But you do know I’m pregnant and need my sleep, right?”
“I figured four is close enough to when you’ll get up anyway. And can’t you go back to sleep?”
“Yes,” she said, but she wondered whether she would or not.
“Me, too, darling’,” he said, and a warm fuzziness filled her. She hadn’t heard that endearment in too long and it made it worth the wake-up call. “How about I pick you up at six?” he asked.
“That’s fine,” she said, curious what was on his mind.
“See you then,” he said, and was gone.
She settled in bed, turning toward the windows so she could look at the bright moonlight outside.
White cumulus clouds drifted rapidly across the black sky.
She missed Tony more than she would have believed possible.
She missed him every day and thought about him constantly and got lost in memories too often each day.
When had Tony become so important to her? At first she’d thought she would forget him as the days passed. Instead, each day she missed him and thought of him more.
She hadn’t faced the question that hovered in her mind.
Was she in love with him? Had she fallen in love with a man who would always want to run her life, their child rearing and her ranch?
All indications said she had. She didn’t know his feelings for sure, but she knew he hadn’t been in love with her when she last saw him.
Tony had been so many good things—energetic, sexy, positive and upbeat, full of fun and life.
She knew he was a good rancher. And she knew he was a take-charge person.
Could she cope with having him back in her life?
And on a larger scale? She couldn’t answer her own question.
The only solid answer she could give was that she had been miserable without him.
She didn’t want to tell him goodbye and watch him marry another woman while she raised his child.
This time without Tony had been the unhappiest stretch in her life. Excitement coursed through her at the thought of seeing him again. What was so urgent that he had to see her tonight? She hoped it was to get back together. She didn’t know how they could, but she was ready to try.
She climbed out of bed, moving restlessly to a chair to think about Tony. She was guessing he wanted to see her because he missed her, too. But what if he had another reason—like a permanent parting of the ways?
That possibility filled her with concern. It couldn’t happen now, she told herself, not when she finally realized she wanted him back in her life with all her being.
He still might propose to her again, even if he didn’t love her. If he did, was she willing to accept that and hope she could win his love over time?
She ran her hand across her flat stomach. Their baby needed them. Could they set aside their monumental differences and give love a chance?
There was love on her part. She was ready to admit it now. She was in love with Tony, alpha male or not. She had gotten herself into this situation by bidding on him at the auction, and now she was in deep, over her head.
Would she tell him that she was in love?
Or keep it from him until he declared feelings of love for her?
She didn’t see how she could keep from revealing her love to him.
At the thought of seeing him tonight, what she most wanted was to throw herself into his arms when she opened her door.
Now that she knew she would see him and had finally admitted that she was deeply in love, she ached to be with him and hoped with all her heart he might have missed her or, better yet, be as in love as she was.
She glanced at her clock and saw it was almost five. In just over twelve hours she would be with him and get an answer to the question that plagued her. What did Tony feel for her?
Only time would tell.
By six that night she had even more questions. As she left her room, she turned for one more look in the mirror. She wore a deep blue sleeveless dress with a low-cut back, a hem that ended above her knees and high heels. She had left her hair falling freely because Tony liked that best.
Downstairs, promptly at six she watched him step out of his black sports car and come up her front drive, and her breath rushed from her lungs.
He looked handsome, filled with vitality.
He also looked like a Texas rancher in his white Stetson, his black boots, black Western-cut trousers and a pale blue, long-sleeved cotton shirt that was open at the throat.
She longed to throw herself into his embrace, but she restrained herself, opening the front door and smiling.
His blue-green eyes filled with desire that revved up her heartbeat. “Darlin’, you look gorgeous,” he said, his gaze moving over her slowly, a tantalizing perusal that set her pulse pounding. “You look more fantastic than ever. I’d say that pregnancy becomes you.”