Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Avril
Kir stood outside the hospital room. The last time I was alone with my sister, it was when she was resigned to dying. Now her cheeks had a little color. Her treatments were making her better, and it was all because of Kir. And he’d said he loved me.
No one who mattered romantically had ever said that to me, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I refused to be the girl in the song who collected hearts for fun. I wasn’t a horrible person.
I checked that the door was closed fully as Abby said, “I got a call about you when you were gone.”
I retook my seat. “Yeah?”
Her eyes were glassy, as if she was tired. “Some woman wanted to interview me and asked me how long I’d known Kir.”
My eyes widened. I hadn’t realized the press might ever contact her too. “What did you say?”
She blinked and then seemed to see right through me. “Nothing. I don’t talk about family to anyone, but are you okay?”
“Of course.”
She moved the angle of her bed so she could sit, though I could tell she was sleepy. “Are you sure? Because your lips are thinning.”
I scooted the chair closer. She had no idea how torn I felt. “I’m good. I’m just not in a good space mentally right now.”
She glanced at the door. “Trouble in paradise?”
This weekend had been like living in heaven and being surrounded by good people who accepted me.
However, that wasn’t real life. I was usually sitting alone or with my friends, drinking wine and numbing my pain.
I hadn’t breathed in a year without the fear that I might jeopardize my sister’s health.
“You grew up too fast to take care of me.”
She didn’t even blink. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
My heart was torn because she was truly wonderful, and I shouldn’t have needed her opinion or blessing. “And I’d do anything for you, too, but right now, I’m looking for advice.”
Her lips curved higher. “Go for it.”
He loved me. I believed him on some level, but deep down, I was lost. I glanced at the door and saw that he was speaking on his phone. “Kir is amazing and wonderful, but?—“
“If there is a but , keep working, get yourself a place to live, and give yourself time.” She gripped my hand.
My shoulders slumped. It wasn’t the answer I thought she’d give me. “Oh.”
She continued, “Mom and Dad would want you to be absolutely sure before you settle down.”
Nothing about a life with Kir would be settling. I kept my voice low. “What if the issue is me entirely?”
She stared deep into my eyes. “What kind of issue?”
“Letting someone else other than you take care of me.”
She snapped, “That’s old-world thinking because as women, we don’t let men take care of us.”
You don’t need to worry about that, because isn’t someone taking care of you? I sat back as adrenaline rushed through me. “Look, I have to go. Kir really is wonderful, so don’t think anything bad about him.”
She pressed the button for her bed to go down. “Of course.”
He came in and said, “Good night, Abigail.”
She stared right at him like they were having a private conversation. “You too. Be good to my sister.”
I walked out with him, though I was more confused than ever. If he loved me, and I let myself really figure out what was in my heart, maybe we would be happy.
Or I was a fool. We’d started as fake, and technically, we were still that.
He asked, “What did you two talk about?”
I met his gaze. I wasn’t processing right, and if I said the wrong thing, I risked losing him forever “How I look sleepy.”
He pressed the up button on the elevator. “Well, let’s take the helicopter, then, and get you home.”
I filed in next to him, and my stomach did little flips. If he loved me, I was supposed to be ecstatic and not stressed anymore. Instead, I was almost nauseated.
We made it to the top, and I asked, “What were you doing on your phone?” I walked with confidence onto the chopper, not worried about heights.
“You don’t want to know.”
I buckled myself in, and his staff closed the door. Then I pressed my hands to my knees. “Now I do.”
His face brightened. “At first, I was talking to Michael Fuller about getting you a surprise.”
More amazing gifts weren’t going to clear the cobwebs from my brain. I said, “You don’t have?—“
“It’s not a big deal, but then I started getting these messages.“ He took out his phone and showed me a text message and the anonymous number.
It took me a minute to read through the message. My friends were excited about the trip. I imagined how everyone would hate me for lying. My friends wouldn’t believe me about anything ever again. He shook his head and directed me to another message, this time from a blog and unknown number.
My arm had goose bumps. “Are we being blackmailed?”
He took his phone back. “I don’t care if we’re exposed as fake.”
I swallowed. I watched the Manhattan skyline grow closer and closer, and my eyes had tears in them. I gazed out the window so he wouldn’t see. When I was sure I was under control, I said, “I do, though. I don’t want to lose my job.”
He whispered, “I’ll stand by you, and we’ll simply say the blogger is lying.”
My heart stirred. If I believed in us and the possibility of an us , then maybe I’d be different. I took his hand. “I know you will.”
“Good.”
We drew closer to his building. I wished there was more I could offer him. “I just don’t know… never mind.”
He sat back. “I can give you all the time you need. I’m in no rush about anything when it comes to you.”
None of this was like in the morning, when I’d woken up happy and cuddling with him. “Can I ask what you see in me?”
He inhaled and leaned closer to me. “You’re honest, make me smile, and are the most alive woman I’ve ever met.”
I pressed a hand to the side of his face. “That’s sweet. Look, let’s forget about our seriousness tonight and just enjoy being together.”
He bumped into my shoulder. “Does that mean you’re sleeping in my bed, or am I invited into your room?”
Good. Being in his arms was all I truly wanted, and in bed, we fit. My body heated as memories of the weekend replayed. “I am curious about your room. I avoided it last week.”
He kissed my forehead. “Sounds good.”
Now I saw his building and knew we’d be together soon. “Can I ask a random question?”
“What?”
My ears had buzzed earlier when he’d mentioned a gift. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I was sure there was more to the butler’s story. “How come you called Charlie’s butler, and you don’t have one of your own?”
“I don’t want a butler. I like privacy.”
And I let it go. He hadn’t been in my life for long, and it wasn’t my business. I had enough problems, and asking about other people wasn’t going to help.
I squeezed Kir’s palm. “Me too. I like to keep what’s happening between us as private as possible.”
Then we landed. When the doors opened, a wind rushed through, and I held onto my dress.
We descended, holding hands, and headed to the stairs that brought us to the penthouse.
He held the door for me, and we both took off our shoes so as not to trek dirt through the house.
It was a family custom. Once we were done, we headed right to the bedroom.
As he opened the door, he said, “So, this is my room.”
I walked over to the floor-to-ceiling bay windows that let me see out below. Nothing but glass pressed against me. The lights of the cars below and people moving around made me feel like we were in our own little universe. “These are huge windows.”
He reached for the button for closing the blinds. “I like looking down at the park.”
I took the remote from him and put it back down. No one could see us in the penthouse. We were alone, and I ached to be his again. I reached behind me to unzip my dress. “Kir…”
Then I let it fall to my ankles and stood in my bra and panties. He reached behind me, but I took his hand. He asked, “What are you doing?”
For once, I needed to be bold, and while I wasn’t sure what was in store for my life, I knew I wanted him, and a physical relationship was all I could offer. “We’re in the highest building around. I think we’re safe.”
He stared down at me. “Charlie and Hope were photographed in a hotel room.”
I reached for my bra. This was as daring as I would get. “Are you afraid of being seen with me?”
He took off his shirt and dropped it on the ground. “I think it’s the other way around.”
I reached for his pants and inside, past the elastic of his boxer briefs and right to his hard dick. “I need to work no matter what, Kir.”
He quickly lost all his layers of clothes. I checked to ensure that he was hard and ready as he said, “And I support that.”
“So kiss me already.” I let him go and slid off my panties.
He did as I asked, and his mouth was delicious and sent tingles through me as I brushed against his muscular body. I knew I pleased him. I backed myself to the cold glass and pressed my warm body to it as I held him tight.
I was his physically. I lifted my leg to let him in, but he stopped to slip on a condom. I sighed. His cock was huge and ready.
Once he was inside me, I let myself go entirely. We were one in the only way I knew how to be. And I was full and complete.