Chapter 5 #2
The others were laughing. And Vivian wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t throwing up in some graceful way—was that even possible—it was as though my body was trying to expel my actual stomach through my mouth.
“The power of Christ compels you!” someone shouted from the living room, followed by laughter. It worked, because I hurled again and it felt like an actual demon climbed out.
I’d laugh about this later, but not right now. In fact, I’d take my revenge on them by making them watch the Exorcist with me later. It always terrified Shay as a kid and I was pretty sure it was her who’d yelled that. It was a fitting punishment.
There was a soft tap on the door and Sophie entered without me acknowledging her. I couldn’t. I was too busy puking again. This sucked.
“Oh, sweetie.” She scooped my hair away from my face and held it back as I heaved. “I brought a wash cloth and water. For when you’re…done.”
I didn’t even have the strength to be embarrassed. Puking in front of other people was a vulnerable position to be in, but we’d done this for each other when we’d been sick as kids. Watched Mom and Dad do it for all of us. This was what you did for family.
“Thanks. Um… Can you do me a favor?” I asked, as soon as the puking stopped.
“Sure.”
“Can you please get me some new underwear and sweats out of my room?” I looked up at her, tears streaming down my face from the force in which I’d been throwing up, and grimaced. “I peed myself.”
She blinked then looked down. “That’s new.”
“Mom said it wasn’t uncommon,” I said with a sigh. “I have a theory.”
“What’s that?” she asked with a soft smile.
“All this is just getting me ready to have no shame for when I have to be spread eagle on a table giving birth to my kid. Hard to be embarrassed about what’s going to happen when you pee yourself every time you throw up. And puke every time you eat. And just feel miserable the rest of the time.”
She petted the top of my hair and there was sympathy shining in her eyes. “And it’s getting you ready to be spit up on and peed on.”
“Exactly,” I said, suddenly feeling exhausted.
That was something else that was new. I slept a lot and was still always tired.
Between the internet and my mother, I knew all of this was normal—for some women, yay me—and I wasn’t too worried, yet.
Though the constant throwing up was making me worry that my baby wasn’t getting enough nutrients.
I wished I could get in to see the doctor sooner rather than later so I could ask my questions and get reassurance that the baby was okay.
Mom assured me that the baby would get what he or she needed by taking it from my body. It was me who would be deficient. That shouldn’t have been as comforting as it was since I was the one who would have to go without, but honestly I preferred it that way. I just wanted the little one to be safe.
“I’ll be right back with the clothes.”
Nodding, I stripped out of my soiled clothes and got into the shower. I kept it lukewarm because I’d made that mistake before and almost passed out in the hot shower after one of these bouts of puking. By the time I was done, the clothes and a new towel were perched on the edge of the sink.
Going out into the living room after I changed, I frowned when I saw everything was cleaned up and everyone except Sophie was gone. “They didn’t have to leave.”
“It’s okay, Dev. You’re tired. Come on.” She wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me to my room.
Soon I was tucked in and she was threading her fingers through my hair, scratching my scalp.
It had always been my most favorite way to fall asleep.
“You get some sleep. You can call me if you need anything.”
“Okay,” I sighed. “Thanks, Soph.”
“We all love you. Sorry this part isn’t much fun, but we’re so excited for you. I can’t wait to hold that baby.”
I smiled at her. “I can’t either. Never thought I’d be so excited when everything with Bolo is so up in the air.”
“It sounds like he’s trying, Dev. Do me a favor?”
“Okay.”
“Let him in.”
I frowned at her. “I am.”
“Really.” It wasn’t a question. She gave me a patient, but knowing, look. “You’ve always been a bit more closed off than the rest of us.”
I heaved a sigh. “I don’t know why. It’s not like anything bad has ever really happened to me.
” There had been boyfriends when I was younger and still in school.
No one had cheated on me. And most of my relationships had ended amicably.
But she was right. I’d been like this for each one.
The men had always had to fight hard to get me into that relationship.
“You’re scared. Especially now,” she said with a shrug.
“Of what?” I grumped. “It’s stupid and not at all logical.”
“Sometimes emotions aren’t logical, Dev. You’re scared that you’re going to get attached to him and he’s going to leave. Or disappoint you in some way and that’ll break your heart.”
I blinked at her as that sank in and I realized that what’d happened to her was probably influencing me a little bit as well.
I considered asking her if she wanted to talk, but there was a sad look on her face, so I deflected with humor instead.
Most days she didn’t want to talk about what she’d lost, so I left it alone. “Since when did you become psychic?”
She laughed, giving me a grateful look. “I just know you really well. You have a tough outer shell, but deep down you’re all squishy inside. You have such a good heart. Just show that to Bolo and put a little faith in him and you’ll be fine.”
“You don’t even know him,” I pointed out. “How do you know he’s trustworthy?”
She snorted. “He responded to you telling him you’re pregnant by doing everything he could to keep you close. Which means he’s smart and trustworthy. He clearly cares.”
“What does that mean? Everything he could to keep me close?”
“If he’d suggested marrying each other, you’d have panicked and run.”
Since panic was threatening to claw its way up my throat at the mere mention of marriage, I only nodded.
“He probably figured he couldn’t even ask you for something concrete like being girlfriend and boyfriend.
So he suggested that you get to know one another.
” She tapped her temple. “Smart man. And he clearly knows how to read people.” She was right.
There was so much more to Bolo than just the muscles. Endless muscles.
I shook my head to clear out the image of him and smiled at her. “You think I’m being ridiculous.”
“I think you’re being you and doing the best you can. I’m just asking that you give him a chance. Let him help you with all this. See how it goes. What’s the worst that could happen?”
I could fall for him. He could leave me.
I didn’t speak those words out loud. I didn’t need to. She already understood my fears. Nodding, I watched her as she leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “Thanks for everything tonight.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She let herself out while I closed my eyes.
What was the worst that could happen? He could break my heart. But she was right. If I didn’t give him a fair shake, then I was the one who lost anyway. Me and my baby. Our baby. So I’d do my best to open up to him.
Thankfully, Bolo seemed to be making that very easy to do.
I grabbed my phone and smiled when I saw that he’d texted me.
I relaxed against my pillow and sent him a text back.
He’d had dinner with his family tonight, too.
He promised to tell me about it when we went out in a couple days, but said his parents were really excited.
That was a relief. We were both thirty-five years old. This wasn’t a teen pregnancy kind of situation, but having our parents on board and being supportive was still important to me. I smiled as he said goodnight and I set my phone back on my nightstand.
I had a feeling that the ‘getting to know you’ stage with Bolo was actually going to be fun. Minus the pregnancy symptoms that were already rearing their heads. I couldn’t wait to go out with him again. To see what else I could find out about him.