Chapter 17
Devyn
We didn’t talk about my dilemma at all as we went back downstairs and drove to the restaurant to pick up our order. We chatted about easy, light things during the drive, but once we were back home, in the safety of my apartment, the switch flipped.
“This is a tricky situation.”
I glanced up from the bowl I’d dumped my Chinese food into. I didn’t like to eat out of the take out containers. At least eating off my own dishes made it seem more homey. “I know.”
“Having Bolo there for you and the baby is going to make a huge difference.”
I nodded and twirled some lo mein onto my fork. “Yeah.”
“And if you officially end up together,” she gave me a meaningful look because before I’d told her all this, being with Bolo was what she was rooting for, “then you’ll end up with not only a baby, but a boyfriend who could then lead into a husband.”
I took a bite of the pork with more noodles. “I know.” And I was working on that. I really was. Turned out, if you gave a man a chance, he could surprise you with how sweet, thoughtful, and utterly right he could be for you. Who knew? “But then he springs this on me,” I reminded her.
“Yeah.” She set her plate down. “I mean, he hasn’t been in jail yet.” Then she paused. “Has he?”
“No.”
“Well, that’s good. That’ll go a long way with Dad.”
I laughed. “Yeah, until I tell him one day that my boyfriend does illegal things.”
“Yeah, he’s not going to like that much.” She made a face, then sighed. “But, if what he’s saying is true, he’s doing this stuff for a noble reason.”
“There is that.”
“It would be so much easier if they just let the cops handle it.”
“True. But Bolo had a good point when he brought up how many cases I’ve investigated that got thrown out over a technicality.
And most of those were just people setting random buildings on fire.
But think about the firemen who’ve lost their lives going into those buildings to make sure no one was in there. ”
She nodded. We’d all worried about our father during the entirety of his career because of that.
We’d often stay up on the nights he worked, talking or playing board games because we were all scared he wouldn’t come home.
Mom had given up on trying to get us to sleep through most of those nights.
She’d just ended up joining us. It’d made us so much closer as a family, though.
I truly believed that was part of why we were so close with our parents, and each other.
They never said it out loud, but when I took the fire investigator job, all of them, including Dad, breathed a sigh of relief. I only ever went into buildings where the flames were already extinguished these days.
“I keep thinking about how the people they help must be so grateful.”
She picked her plate back up. “But it must be a nightmare for their wives.”
“Bolo only mentioned two other women.”
She cocked her head and pointed at me with her fork. “Maybe you should talk to them.”
I hesitated. “What if they’re not allowed to really say anything?”
Soph shrugged. “If Bolo wants you to be able to accept this and stay with him, then he might need to make sure you can ask your questions and get honest answers.”
I thought about that and nodded. “That’s a good idea.
I’ll see what he says.” We were quiet as we ate for a few minutes.
I only got about seven bites in before I was full.
It wasn’t a surprise: I wasn’t eating a whole lot these days.
But the food was staying down and I considered that a win. “Am I crazy?”
She looked surprised at the question. “No. Actually I’m shocked you didn’t just immediately walk away from this.”
I gave her a guilty smile. “I thought about it.”
“I know.” Her smile was slightly smug as she said that. “But I’m proud of you. You’d be crazy if he told you he was an ax murderer and you were contemplating staying with him.”
“Yeah, but he’s not some boring accountant, or something. He’s like…the boring accountant who’s actually Superman.”
“Reporter.”
“What?”
She shrugged. “Clark Kent was a journalist at the Daily Planet.”
I squinted at her, trying to figure out why that little detail was important right now. It wasn’t so I just shook my head. “Reporter. Whatever. Actually, he works in construction. But then there’s this whole other side to him.”
“Is it really that surprising?” she asked.
My eyebrows shot up. “Um…without knowing the full details of what he and his MC brothers get up to? Yeah, I’d say it is.” I laughed at the ridiculousness that we were even having a conversation like this. Who dealt with this kind of stuff in real life?
“I just mean…he was in the military, right?” I nodded. “And you’ve gotten that protective vibe from him before?” Another nod. “Okay, so that extends a bit further than just his family. But really, at the root it’s probably all about their families.”
“Huh?” I asked, not quite following.
“Okay, so the city is overrun with dangerous criminals. Murderers, robbers, whoever, right?” She circled her fork at me.
“You’re married to Bolo and you and your kid are walking to your car after a day at the zoo while he’s off at work.
Some mugger comes up and points a gun at you.
You’re smart so you go to give him all your valuables, but someone else walks up and startles the guy…
” She trailed off, as if she couldn’t bring herself to say what could happen next.
She swallowed hard. “If they do their best to get those kinds of people off the streets before they become a problem, the city is safer for their families as a result.”
I blinked at her as I absorbed what she was saying. “In a weird way, I can kind of see why that would motivate them…”
“Without knowing exactly what it is they’re doing, that’s the best example I can come up with. Or at least the only one I really want to think about. Because thinking about you and my niece or nephew being hurt makes me want to cry.”
“Me too,” I said, sniffling a little. Not the thought of me getting hurt but the idea that something could happen to my baby.
“My suggestion is to see if you can talk to the other women who are with these guys and get their thoughts on everything, then go from there. Don’t make any rash decisions in the meantime.”
“That’s a good plan.”
“Is there anything that’s like…all bets are off?” she asked.
I shrugged, giving her a helpless look. “I don’t know. This is so far out of my depth I don’t really know what’s going to bother me. Or what they’re even really doing.”
“You need to talk to Bolo again,” she told me.
“I know,” I sighed.
“Are you worried that if you pry he’ll change his mind about being with you?”
I looked up and stared into gray eyes that were a few shades lighter than my own.
It always shocked me how perceptive Sophie was.
A reasonable woman would be worried about his dangerous lifestyle, I was worried that if I rejected his dangerous side he’d reject me.
And she knew it. “How-” I shook my head.
“Never mind.” She never knew how she seemed to just pluck thoughts out of my head.
It really just came down to how close we were and that we were very similar people.
Being only a year apart my parents had always joked that we were like twins. “Yeah, I sort of am.”
“He’s not stupid enough to lose you over something like that. If he wasn’t willing to answer questions, he wouldn’t have told you, and that would have been a huge red flag.”
“Him not telling me he commits crimes is more of a red flag than him committing crimes?” I asked, squinting my eyes at her.
She shrugged. “Well, yeah. ‘Cause then he’s hiding it. At least he’s told you. That also means he’s serious about this. And that he trusts you.”
I laid a hand on my belly. “I sure hope he is serious about it.”
She laughed. “Sis, I think if you weren’t a flight risk he’d already have a ring on your finger.”
Giving her a skeptical look, I shook my head. “That would be fast, even for him.”
She shot my look right back at me. “Uh huh.”
“You don’t even know him,” I reminded her.
“I know what you’ve told me. Seems like he’s a really smart guy and he’s figured out that you don’t trust very easily and is biding his time.
But the man calls or texts you every day, multiple times a day.
He doesn’t let more than a few days go by before you see each other again.
He-” She paused, studying the look on my face.
“I’m going to stop now because I can see the panic trying to claw its way into your logical brain. Just trust me. That man is into you.”
“I’m having his baby,” I replied. She was right. Her bringing up all the ways that he was sticking close by was making me realize just how involved in my life he’d become in a very short amount of time. It was making my trust issues flare up. “What if he’s love bombing me?”
She rolled her eyes. “He’s not love bombing you. He’s trying to make sure you realize he wants you without making you bolt.”
“Sure. It sounds reasonable when you say it like that.” I shoved all thoughts of Bolo out of my mind, mostly to make sure the irrational side of my brain didn’t take over and destroy the tentative happiness I was starting to build with the sexy biker.
It would be far too easy to let that side win and do something stupid.
“Can I ask you something else? Totally off topic?”
“Of course.” She set her plate down, having finished eating while we were discussing the weird direction my dating life had taken.
“It’s…sensitive.”
She focused on me. “We can talk about anything, Dev.”
“I know. I just want you to know I love you first.”
She tensed, so I knew she knew what was coming. “I’m fine.”
“Are you really though?” I asked, searching her eyes. “This wasn’t my plan, but I’m glad it’s happening. I don’t want to make any of this hard for you.”
“I’m so thrilled for you.” Her voice was husky now as she held back tears. “I miss Eric every day. Just because he’s gone doesn’t mean you don’t get to fall in love, get married, have kids. I would never take that from you, or our sisters.”
“Of course you wouldn’t,” I said with a frown because the idea of her having a problem with us doing any of those things hadn’t been what I’d meant at all. “But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt at the same time, watching us do them when you never got to be with the man you loved.”
She let out a slow breath. “I appreciated that you told me you were pregnant when it was just the two of us. That helped a lot. Not that I’m not over the moon for you… It just gave me a minute to feel my feelings without everyone watching for my reaction.”
That was exactly why I’d told her first, and why it was just the two of us at her house.
The one she’d bought with Eric. Because then I could stay or go, depending on how she needed to process the news.
It had only taken her a couple of beats before she’d wrapped me up in a hug and began peppering me with questions, but I knew there’d probably been some tears shed alone in bed that night.
Only a few, I was sure, for all she’d lost. I’d shed more than my fair share for her as well over the years.
“I just wanted to check in. Make sure you’re okay with everything,” I told her.
“I’m good.” Her eyes softened as she looked down at my still flat belly. “I can’t wait to hold that baby.”
“It seems so…wild,” I said, touching my stomach again. “Like it can’t actually be happening… And then I throw up and realize that it’s definitely happening.”
We both laughed. I got up and went to sit by her on the couch and she wrapped an arm around me. “Don’t worry so much about me.”
“I’m your big sister. That’s in my job description.” We sat there, holding each other for a few minutes before I spoke again. “I know you loved Eric… Losing him doesn’t mean you can’t have another love.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah. I guess I’ve kind of been hiding out for a while.”
“Maybe it’s time to try again?”
She nodded. “Maybe it is. We’ll see.”
“Just make sure he’s a boring accountant and not Superman on the side. Mom and Dad are already going to lose their minds if they ever find out about Bolo.”
“Reporter,” she pointed out a second time.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
Picking up the remote, I flicked on the TV. That was enough talking for now. What we needed was something to take our minds off our real lives. I put on one of our favorite movies and cuddled up next to her to veg out for the evening.