Chapter 56
Riley
In my dream, big arms are lifting me from the bed in the cabin, carrying me to safety. I hold tightly to the warm body, happy to be safe once again. Then I’m being set down somewhere in the dream. Sebastian’s bed? It’s so comfy…
I’m reaching that point in sleep where you know you’re dreaming but can’t wake up, when I hear rustling near me. I open my eyes, fully awake now, and look around, not seeing anything at first. Then I see Sebastian as he pulls his shirt up over his head. He’s not facing me so I stay quiet to watch him. He throws his shirt in the corner and walks into his bathroom, softly closing the door so as not to wake me up. He must have carried me in here. The thought makes me feel that strange combination again of fear but also something else… I think lust.
I wait until I hear the shower running and tiptoe to the door. This is now the second time I will have intruded on Sebastian’s privacy out of my own curiosity, but I don’t care enough to stop.
Pushing the door open ever so slightly, the steam makes it hard to see him at first. He’s leaning against the shower wall, and his head is tilted down. It almost looks like he’s upset, and I have to stop myself from walking in to see what’s going through his head. But then I look down at his body. This is the first time I’ve seen him without any clothes on. His torso is ripped, he’s got tattoos that span across his chest and onto his back. He’s fucking gorgeous. And his dick would be on full display if it weren’t for his massive hand grasped around it.
Sebastian is jerking off in the shower. In his shower. Just a few steps away from me. Of course he doesn’t know that I’m just hiding behind the door. What would he do if I pushed it open and walked in? Would he be mad? Happy? Would he tear my clothes off and take me right now in the shower? The thoughts fly into my head as all the while his hand pumps up and down on his cock as he’s lost in thought.
Something inside me comes to life suddenly. There’s a space now, outside of the hurt and the fear, and the shame, that seems to be opening up. There may be room for more once again, I think, as I watch Sebastian’s pace increase. Suddenly he groans, and I see his cum spill over his hand and onto the shower wall. My insides twitch and I jerk back, afraid of the reaction I’m having to the situation. I’m not ready to have my body near someone else’s yet. I step away and quickly get back into bed. Within a few minutes Sebastian is out of the bathroom and I hear him pause. He must be looking to see if I’m still asleep. I remain still until I hear him leave the room.
Maybe one day I can talk to him about what I feel right now. There’s a longing to have him next to me in his bed, but it all feels like too much. I wrestle with these feelings for what feels like forever, until sleep finally comes again.