20. Jack
Chapter twenty
Jack
“Alright, just concentrate,” Tabby’s voice broke through the panic in my mind where we sat in the library. “We want to recreate what happened before so you can remember how it feels before you use your powers. This way, when you want to use them, you can replicate it without the emotional anchor.”
Easy enough for her to say, she didn’t have to create a state of panic on the fly. Though, the more she pushed me to try, the more overwhelmed I became, so maybe it was helping some.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to think of how I felt when I made the crows die. There was so much going on at once. I was feeling like I was being pulled apart from multiple sides, and I had no say in any of it.
A bit like how things were now.
I had no control over my life. My parents had pulled me out of the school they coerced me into going to. Then they took hunting away, the one thing I was good at. The one thing that I had going in my life, and they just took it away like that. I had no idea if I’d ever get it back again.
Then there was my love life.
God, don’t even get me started on that.
I’d always told myself that I’d never get with multiple guys like my mom.
That it would be too much drama. Too much to handle.
I saw how my mom and dads interacted and while for the most part they happily get along.
Though, there were times my mom had to play referee to my dads.
That wasn’t something I wanted to be doing on a regular basis.
Yet here I was dating at least two men with a third possibly on the way.
Yes, things with Tate were good. They were great. Which honestly, they always were, except for that small amount of time that I refused to get between him and Kyren. His constant optimism regarding his vampire boyfriend was something to be admired. I didn’t have as much hope for Kyren and me.
But to hell with Kyren. He was a big boy, he could figure out how to handle me and Tate being together if he wasn’t going to be with me, too.
Except… what was last night?
Not only had he saved me — which I could admit I needed saving — but he cuddled me. He hadn’t snarled or snapped at me. He hadn’t even demanded hate sex.
To be honest, I had partially hoped for it. No, he just showed up and held me. The way he always had. No talking. No explanation, nothing.
And my bag. My dad told me someone dropped it off, but he didn’t say who.
The lingering scent in my room told a whole story on its own.
Kyren had gone out of his way to find my bag.
I didn’t know if he went back to the club or how he’d gotten it.
But knowing he’d taken the time to do it made something swell in my chest.
My phone, of course, was full of unanswered calls and text. Strangely, none of Iris or Xinyi, but I’d left my bag with them, so maybe it was them that Kyren had gotten it from. Still, I was glad to have it and not have to go through the process of replacing everything.
Crap.
I was losing the panic feeling.
Think bad thoughts. Horrible thoughts. Think of getting ambushed by those rebels again.
Ten on one was obviously my limit. I’d been lucky to get away let alone be alive.
There were just too many of them, and they kept coming.
As soon as I took a few of them down, more were on me.
Why couldn’t they be like in the movies where the heroine fights the bad guys one on one, waiting their turns like a respectable fighter?
“Jack, you’re going to have to try some time.”
Tabby’s urging sent my pulse rocketing. The truth was I didn’t want to use my powers. I didn’t want to learn to control them. I just wanted them to go away.
“Come on, Jack. You’re not even trying.”
I gritted my teeth together, trying to focus, but her voice kept grating on my nerves.
“If you don’t get control of your powers, you are going to end up hurting someone. If not Tate again, then it could be one of your parents. Do you want that to happen?”
Her words caused havoc on my stress levels, and it took everything I had not to just run away and tell her I didn’t want her help anymore.
“Or maybe you can’t handle your powers?” Tabby sighed, the disappointment clear in her voice. “Maybe you’re too weak to do this. We could find some kind of binding ritual to get rid of them, I suppose. Then everyone would be safe because you can’t handle them.”
My eyes snapped open.
“Shut your mouth,” I snapped, the words reverberating out of my mouth and hitting Tabby full force in the face.
All of a sudden, she clipped her mouth shut. Her eyes widened with fear and then she was smiling, eyes beaming with pride as she waved her hands in front of her face.
I’d done it.
“I did it!” I screamed as I jumped out of my seat.
Tabby grabbed my arms, and we jumped together for a second before she started pointing at her mouth.
“Oh, uh, how do I undo it?” I scratched the side of my head thinking of how it felt to command her. It was like I was pushing my voice into her, shoving my will into her very being.
Which I had no idea how to replicate.
Taking a deep breath, I spoke with intention the way my dad had told me, focusing on Tabby and envisioning pushing my voice into her. “You can talk now.”
For a moment, I thought it didn’t work and then Tabby opened her mouth, rotating her jaw before beaming at me. “Wow, I can happily say that I do not enjoy that. But yay, we figured it out.”
“Figured what out?”
We turned to see Julian walking toward us from the open library door.
Releasing Tabby, I met him a few feet away. “We were practicing my powers. I hadn’t been able to get it to work before, but I just did. Right now.” I grinned from ear to ear, all the panic and fear of using my powers completely pushed aside.
“That’s great.” Julian cupped my waist and drew me to him in a tight squeeze. “I’m proud of you. I knew you could do it.”
Hands on his chest, I chuckled. “Just like you knew I could hit five targets in under five seconds from ten yards away?”
Julian’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Okay, sure, but that was a hard training course. None of the others had been able to do it, so excuse me for assuming you wouldn’t be able to do it either.”
“Ye of little faith,” I pointed out, biting my lower lip. “What are you doing here?”
“I was going to…” he trailed off his eyes sliding over to Tabby. “I apologize, I’ve interrupted your training. Should I come back later?”
“No, no.” Tabby waved her hands, gathering up her things. “We’re done for the day.” She smiled at me on her way by me. “We’ll pick up again in a few days. Keep practicing. We want it to be as easy as breathing by the time we are done.”
She gave a lingering look at Julian on her way out the door, the same one that most female students gave him when he was teaching their class. Except I didn’t want to scratch Tabby’s eyes out every time she looked at him.
“So…” I slid my hands down his arms to lace my fingers with his. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“We found a lead on your note.”
All the excitement of controlling my powers was forgotten by those few words. I drew Julian over to the couch, pulling one leg up onto it between us.
“Do you know who wrote it?”
Julian shook his head, his blonde hair falling out of his bun and partially in his face. “No, we couldn’t track the charm that was used on it back to the person who used it. Tabby was actually the one who helped us figure that out.”
“Oh, then should I have asked her to stay?” I half moved to stand.
Julian stopped me, so I settled back onto the couch and waited for him to explain.
“Now, I’m only telling you this so you don’t feel like we are excluding you, but I want to be clear that under no circumstances are you to go off and try to find this place on your own. Understood?”
I pursed my lips, my eyes narrowing. “I guess I can accept those terms.”
“Tabby says that there is a black market for charms like the one on the note.”
“A black market?”
That was the first I was hearing of it. For a moment, I wondered if my parents knew about these markets. Or even more so the Hunter’s Guild.
“Yes, it shows up on the full moon at a different location every moon cycle. We think it’s our best bet in finding out who attacked you.”
“We?” I cocked my head slightly. “We who?”
“Me, Tate, and Kyren.”
My brows rose and then I huffed a laugh. “You? Working with a werewolf and a vampire?” I shook my head with disbelief. “Has the world gone mad?”
“Ha ha, laugh it up.” Julian grabbed my hand, pressing mine between both of his warm palms. “But this is about your safety. I would work with a million vampires if it was what it took to not feel like I was going to lose you at any moment. One wrong move. One hunt gone wrong, and that could be it. I’d come to grips on you wanting to help make the world a safer place for everyone, but I can’t stand by and let these anarchists target you because of their vendetta against the council. ”
“Julian,” I squeezed his hand back, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. And I know you three will do everything in your power to make sure of that.”
I paused for a moment, calculating the full moon in my head. “So, you’re going to the black market next week? Who’s all going with you? Did you report this?”
Julian winced. “Not in so many words. President Fleming knows that we are looking into who attacked you, but the guild doesn’t know what progress we’ve made.”
“I wonder if it has to do with that vampire at the club,” I mused out loud. It seemed too coincidental not to be. What are the chances that two groups of people wanted me dead?
“Vampire at the club?”
I glanced away from him at his question. “Oh, uh, nothing really. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Jack.” Julian cupped my chin, turning my face toward me. “What happened?”
I placed my hand over his and forced a smile. “It was nothing. Really. I’m fine. Kyren was there. No one got hurt. Let’s just focus on the black market next week, okay?”
“Kyren?” Julian stood to his feet abruptly. “The vampire knew about this? Oh, and I’m sure he probably told his boyfriend too. Am I the only one who doesn’t know what happened?”
I grimaced. “Uh… well… I haven’t exactly told my parents or reported it in any way.
So no. But I just figured they were part of this whole group that attacked me before.
Which they still could be,” I quickly added on, then grabbed his arm keeping him from getting off the couch.
“Please, Julian. It’s not that bad. I promise.
No one even touched me. I mean not besides some manhandling.
Mostly the guy — Hamish — just threatened me.
Did the whole villain speech. Then Kyren swooped in and got me out of there before any blood was spilled. ”
“Oh, Kyren swooped in, did he?” Julian barked a laugh, dragging a hand through his hair. “You just got snatched and threatened while in public, and you don’t think that’s a big deal?”
“Shhh.” I grabbed at his arm. “Keep your voice down or my parents will find out and then I’ll end up being even more of a prisoner than before.”
“Can you blame them?” He threw his hands up in the air. “Every time you step foot out of this house, you are being targeted. Until the danger is passed, you should stay here.”
I sighed, tired of having this conversation with him.
“Julian. That’s never going to happen. I’m never going to be completely out of danger.
I will always be the Durands’ daughter and, as such, a target for someone to use against them.
I learned this a long time ago. But I can’t live my life in a bubble, walking on eggshells. That’s no way to live.”
Julian sat back down, cupping my face. “And I can’t lose you.”
“And you won’t. I promise.” I pressed my hands to his, a soft smile on my lips. “We’ll get through this, together.”
I didn’t know if I really believed what I was saying. I hoped I did. If anything I was giving us hope for a better future.
I just prayed I could live up to that promise.