21. Chapter 21
Camille
We sat around a fire, waiting for the meat to cook.
We were eating something called a Riloush, though I wasn't quite sure what the monster was, because when they returned, the animal's face looked much like ground hamburger.
I had asked what exactly had happened out there and both Josiah and Veshkru just shrugged.
They were both in a very calm mood, which I found a little unsettling.
Neither had been very present since landing here.
Jade and Kresh had been eerily silent since we left Croneatos. Both had always been on the quiet side of things anyway, but it was more than that now. Much like Josiah and Veshkru, they seemed like they were miles away, even sitting so close to us all.
Jerrod was still preoccupied with his vision.
He refused to tell me what he saw, yet again.
The tension in the group was turning into an endless void, creating a larger wedge between us all.
I was so exhausted emotionally and physically, that I excused myself from the group before the food was even done.
I walked silently to the living space I shared with Jerrod.
Everything felt so hopeless, though no one wanted to admit it.
I was trying to "fake it until we make it", but that sentiment only worked for so long.
I found myself dragging my feet as I made my way to my bed.
I drifted off into a very restless sleep, dreaming about pooling blood and saddened teal eyes.
Several weeks went by, training and honing our skills.
Jerrod continued to work on his telekinesis and speed.
Honestly, his skills were probably our best shot.
There was no part of me that actually believed I would be the reason we succeeded and because of that realization, I found myself struggling to get motivated.
I found myself struggling to care much at all, if I were truly being honest with myself.
I tried so hard to stay positive, but the situation was looking rather grim.
I was fairly certain we were all going to die and worst of all, it would be in the very near future.
"Camille—"
"Hmm," I said softly, lost in my own thoughts.
"You okay?"
I looked over to see Josiah staring down at me. His face was filled with concern. He sat down next to me and stared out at the others as they continued their sparring. I just kind of grunted at him and he chuckled.
"Wanna talk about it?" he asked softly.
"Not really," I admitted.
And I really didn't want to talk about it.
I looked over toward Jerrod in mild irritation.
He still hadn't told me what his portion of the vision entailed.
It was dumb and I realized that if he told me, it would ruin any chance we had of coming out on top, but that didn't change the aching in my chest. Or the feelings of utter betrayal.
Knowing any of that didn't ease the feelings I was having, no matter how ridiculous they were.
"You know he can't, right?" Josiah asked quietly.
"I know that. Doesn't make me less mad about it though," I admitted.
"If we fail—whatever he saw—that's plan B," he said.
The look on his face said it all though. He didn't need to admit to anything. He didn't have to. He was banking on plan B. Because like me, whatever plan A was, I already knew it was going to fail. And I hated admitting that, even to myself.
"You already don't think we will succeed," I noted, eyes squinting in suspicion. "You know we are going to die already."
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to," I said as I sighed deeply. "I'm trying so hard to be positive, but you guys haven't seen it. None of you know what the end game looks like. He isn't going to lose. We aren't enough as we are."
"I hate to admit it, but after what I've seen, I think I agree with you," Josiah responded reluctantly. "I will do whatever I can to make sure you have the best shot though. Just because I'm fairly certain we can't win, doesn't mean I've already given up."
He shifted his shoulder over to me and bumped into mine, trying his best to lighten the mood. He smiled at me like he used to, before this entire mess happened. Back when we just began and we had no idea where this chaos would take us. I smiled back sadly.
"For what it's worth—I'm sorry—for everything," I finally said. I loved Jerrod, with my entire being, but it didn't make me any less sad about how much that had hurt Josiah.
"Don't do that," he said softly. He touched my hand, which sent a searing of what felt like burning sparks across my skin, just like Jerrod's touch used to do to me.
My eyes met his and a single tear slid down my cheek.
"After seeing what you went through while I was…
not myself… I'm really glad someone was there to help you.
I'm glad he didn't let you suffer any longer than you had to. "
"It's selfish for me to even say this, but I need you to know I waited as long as I could," I cried. "I didn't mean for it to happen. We didn't think you'd ever come back. We didn't know this was even a possibility."
He put his hand to my face softly, "Look at me." The tone was commanding and guttural. "I wouldn't be here if you hadn't. Stop punishing yourself, because fate had other plans for us."
I pulled away quickly as my skin screamed under his hand. He looked a little offended that I pulled away like I did.
"Sorry, it just hurts," I admitted.
"Oh, fuck—I'm sorry! I didn't even think about that damn mechanism. Leave it to fate to not even allow me to touch you anymore."
He looked away in what looked very much like embarrassment.
My face flamed hot as I thought back to the moments that had introduced me to guilt sensation.
The way Jerrod had skimmed his fingertips over my arm.
The heat of lust tightening my flesh in goosebumps, but quickly transforming into an unbearable burning.
He looked at me curiously as my mind wandered, looking like he might ask but thought better of it.
I smiled awkwardly at him, "I guess this is the different plans from fate you were talking about."
He chuckled, "Something like that."
We sat in silence, watching everyone in the clearing.
The sparring matches were becoming almost otherworldly as they all took on skills that weren't even possible on Earth.
We were so vastly outnumbered. Even watching the marvel that was this group, I knew it wouldn't be enough.
I stood up to start walking toward the others.
Sitting here moping about our inevitable fate definitely wasn't going to win the war.
As I took a step forward, I felt my body jerk backward. I looked back and Josiah had gripped my belt loop to stop me.
"Did you have something else you wanted to say?" I asked with a smirk.
"Spar with me?" he asked sheepishly.
"Come on Josiah. I'm not even close to your league. You'll mop the floor with me," I said in a laugh.
"That's why you should," he said in a serious, but playful tone. "I could teach you a thing or two."
"I really can use all of the help I can get. Most of my original fighting skill comes from our bond. It might help," I admitted.
"Well then, what are we waiting for? You're not scared, are you?" he taunted.
I rolled my eyes at him, "Don't flatter yourself."
He sucked in a harsh gasp in mock horror, "You wound me."
Where Jerrod was graceful and fluid in his movements, Josiah was rigid and stiff.
His whole body was like a powerhouse of pure muscle.
I tried my best to keep up with him using my agility and flexibility.
His hits were so forceful that I was consistently knocked off balance.
He would randomly steal a glance when he thought I wasn't paying attention with a longing that hurt my heart.
As we spent more time sparring, it turned into almost a dance between us. Our bodies in perfect sync, blocking each strike with timed precision and creating the illusion of practiced design.
"Were you ever going to stop trying to hit me and actually do it?" Josiah said teasingly.
I dialed into his movements, trying to predict his next strike, but much like his brother, he was unpredictable and I wasn't sure either of them actually thought about their next attack at all.
Everything they did seemed so natural, and I truly didn't think I would ever get to that point.
Not before it truly mattered anyway. Not before—I lost everything.
In that moment of distraction, I lost track of Josiah and before I could even register the maneuver, his fist was connecting with my right cheek.
The force behind it was so intense that I nearly blacked out.
It brought me back to Roman and the time he had backhanded me for walking away from him in the middle of our conversation.
The pain was identical, searing across my face in a blazing fury.
I was stronger now. I didn't curl up in the fetal position like a weak child.
I didn't feel the unending anger I felt back then.
I picked myself up off of the ground and set my feet in a better stance.
I looked at him with determination. I could do this.
I was meant for this. It was my destiny, and I would give myself the best shot in beating Kyril.
I would fight him until me and Jerrod met the end I knew we would meet.
I watched as both Jerrod and Josiah began moving toward me.
"Don't you fucking dare," I said lowly.
They both stopped in their tracks. Jerrod opened his mouth to argue and then went back to what he was doing. Josiah looked at me quizzically.
"We don't have time for the two of you to keep treating me like I'm breakable. I am fine. And you'd do well to remember I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not fragile like she was," I snapped.
He looked over at me in apology and nodded his head at me. And like that, we were right back into the melodic rhythm we had been in before.