Chapter 7
Kaze
The night wraps around everything in a quiet stillness, but I’m awake.
Being awake is all I’ve known for longer than I can remember.
I can’t eat. I can’t drink. I can’t sleep.
Existing in this restless, hollow state has become my reality.
On any other night, I’d be haunting the usual places, an underground bar, a seedy party, a dimly lit concert, feeding off the faint energies of the living. But not since her.
Not since that party.
Not since she saw me.
It was like lightning striking my core.
I can’t stay away from her.
At first, I told myself it was because she might be my answer. Maybe she holds the key to my escape, my resolution, my door to whatever lies beyond.
But it’s more than that.
Being near her feels like purpose, like gravity finally pulling me to where I’m meant to be.
She’s like a star, radiating warmth, pulling me into her orbit. It’s not just her beauty, though fuck, she is beautiful, it’s her.
The way she carries herself, strong yet fragile. The way her presence is grounding, but tinged with a sadness that feels like it mirrors my own.
She makes the emptiness inside me feel less empty.
She makes me feel like I exist.
But I can’t reach her. Not yet.
Because my biggest obstacle isn’t my lack of a physical body.
It’s that damn cat.
The beast is relentless.
Watching. Hissing. Somehow managing to keep me at bay.
But not tonight.
Tonight, something feels different.
There’s tension in the air, a turbulence radiating from her window, pulling me closer.
I float up to the balcony, where olive branches stretch toward the sky. From there, I watch her.
She’s in bed, restless, twisting under the covers like sleep is a battle she’s losing.
The soft contour of her figure presses against the sheets, the thin fabric tracing the dips and swells of her shape. The curve of her hips, the fullness of her thighs, the soft sweep of her waist, it’s impossible not to look, not to be captivated by the richness of her body.
She’s so alive.
So real in a way that makes me ache.
The way the sheet clings to her, shifting with her every movement, sets something inside me alight. Desire is a ghost of a feeling I thought I left behind, but fuck, here it is, raw and undeniable.
My body doesn’t work the way it used to, but looking at her makes something in me stir. A flicker of something I barely remember, wanting.
Her brow furrows.
Her lips move faintly, whispering something to the dark.
Her unease seeps into the air, palpable, pulling at me with an almost unbearable force.
“What’s troubling you, love?”
The word slips out before I can stop it.
It feels natural, like it belongs to her.
Like it belongs to us.
Being close to her does something to me I can’t explain.
It’s like my ethereal body remembers how it felt to be alive.
There’s a faint pulse, a flicker of something vital, something human, that I haven’t felt in so long.
And it’s better than any energy I’ve siphoned from the living.
She makes me want to feel again.
She makes me want to live.
She makes me want her.
And I can’t leave.
I’ve been watching her every single day, captivated.
How does she do this to me?
I’m dead, cold, hollow, and lost, yet she makes me long for everything I’ve lost, even the things I don’t remember having.
What would it be like to touch her?
To feel the warmth of her skin?
Would I be able to breathe in the scent of her hair, her skin?
Would she chase away the stench of alcohol that clings to me like a ghost of my own?
Sadness grips me, heavy and unrelenting.
Because I know this longing is futile.
A desperate wish for something I can never have.
But hope lingers stubbornly, refusing to let go.
And I think of the damn cat.
For a moment, I feel victorious.
The little demon has been so agitated by my presence that her sister is taking him to the vet. In the meantime, I found out they’re not just friends or housemates as I first assumed—they’re family. And though they share no resemblance whatsoever, they’re sisters.
That being said, his absence will be my chance.
My window to finally approach her and to speak to her.
Maybe then, I could ask for her help.
I watch as her body finally relaxes, her breathing evening out as sleep claims her.
And for the first time in forever, I feel something close to peace. Like her calm has become my own.
The only thing I know for sure is that I have to try. I have to talk to her.
And if nothing else, I need to be close to her, even if just for a moment.