Chapter 26 #2
I squeeze my eyes shut, shaking my head as my breath stumbles, my chest caving under the unbearable weight of it all.
“I remember, love.” And my voice, fuck, my voice, I’m ruined.
Because I do remember. Not all that I need to, but enough to know that she’s my everything.
I still don’t know how I died. But more than that, I don’t know how I ever could’ve forgotten this.
I don’t know how the hell I lived without knowing she was here, alive and waiting.
Her lips part, her hands reaching for me, her touch crushing me with guilt, and that’s what it takes for the first sob to rip out of me, sudden and unrelenting, and before I can stop it, before I can even breathe through it, the next one follows.
“I’m so sorry, love.” I start while she shushes me, but I can’t stop. “I’m so fucking sorry. I should’ve remembered. I should’ve never forgotten you, ”
She doesn’t let me finish.
She climbs into my lap, straddles me, silencing the unraveling with the strength of her body and the softness of her embrace.
And then she just holds me.
Catches me as I fall.
I cling to her like she’s the only real thing in a world that no longer makes sense and bury my face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent, and feeling the warmth of her skin against my lips.
Her heartbeat.
Her life.
I hold onto it, to her. Because I should’ve found her sooner, I should’ve fought this reality more. I should’ve…
“You’re here now, K, ” she murmurs softly against my neck.
“How long?” I whisper, barely able to form the words. “How long have you been waiting?”
She doesn’t answer right away.
So I pull back just enough to look at her, into those beautiful and haunted eyes.
“How long, Khalee?”
A beat.
And then
“Five years, ” she says.
I try to pull away, instinctively, because it’s too much.
Too much to bear.
Too much to feel all at once.
But she doesn’t let me go.
For a moment, there’s nothing besides the weight of my failures and the way she holds me, but she keeps soothing me, tracing slow, soothing circles against my back, breathing me like she’s afraid I’ll slip away again.
Then, gently, she moves her hands to my face, tilting it up, forcing me to look at her. And when I do, I see it.
The same devastation that’s wrecking me is there, staring back at me in her eyes.
We’re both broken souls, but somehow, the rugged edges of my soul fit perfectly against the cracks in hers, and maybe that’s how shattered beings survive. By loving each other.
Without hesitation, she moves, and suddenly, she’s everywhere.
Surrounding me, claiming me, the heat of her burning into me through the thin layers of our clothing.
And finally, she kisses me, devouring me with the same intensity I’ve shown before.
And I let her.
Fuck, I let her.
Because I need her to have me and be mine as much as I’m hers.
Her lips move against mine with a purpose that steals my breath, a tenderness that only barely masks the desperation underneath.
She’s not holding back.
And I can’t hold back either.
I grip her hips, my fingers digging into her skin as I pull her closer, feeling the heat of her through the thin layers between us.
She moans against my mouth, and that sound, that fucking sound, wrecks me.
Because suddenly, I can’t just sit here and take it.
I need more.
The next thing I know, I’m standing, gripping her thighs as I lift her with me, barely breaking the kiss as I move.
She gasps, clutching onto me, but I don’t give her time to react before I lay us back down on the couch, this time with her beneath me.
The damn hoodies? Both gone.
The motherfucking tiny shorts she keeps teasing me with? Gone.
I don’t even remember who pulled them off, her or me, the only memory being just the sound of fabric hitting the floor, the way her skin burned against mine, the way she looked up at me, flushed, breathless, fucking perfect.
Fuck, how I’ve dreamt of this.
How I’ve ached for this.
And now, I’m kissing her again.
Her neck.
Her breasts.
Every. Single. Cell. On. Her. Skin.
But she doesn’t just take it, because before I can taste her, before I can drag this out the way I need to, she’s yanking my hair, tilting my head back, flipping us over.
Fuck, she’s savage.
We both are, because we’re both starving.
She yanks my pants, her fingers impatient, her movements deliberate. And I don’t even have time to process it, the sheer power of her, the fucking beauty of her, because before I know it, she’s pushing me back against the couch, straddling me again, and,
Fuck.
She takes me.
All of me.
Slamming down onto me, impaling herself, her head falling back as a broken gasp rips out of her.
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
I can barely think, barely breathe as she moves, as her body tightens around me, as she sets a rhythm that makes my entire world collapse into this moment.
Her hands claw at my shoulders, her lips part, her breath shudders, and she takes exactly what she wants, what we both want.
And fuck, I love it.
I love her.
My hand slides up, passing through her breast, and I deliberately squeezing her nipple, and that earns me a beautiful whimper.
“Fuck, love. You’re breathtaking.” I murmur, and she laughs without stopping her movements.
Time to take the reins.
Leaving her nipple, my hand moves and I wrap her around her throat, not hard, not forceful, but just enough to make her look at me.
To make her watch me.
Her breath catches, her eyes locking onto mine, and when I have her where I want her, I start moving while I tighten my grip just a little, not enough to hurt, just enough to hold her there, keep her mine.
But that’s not enough, so I grab her.
I lift her with me, her legs wrapping around my waist, her body still wrapped tight around mine as I stand.
She gasps, clutching onto me, but I don’t falter.
Not now.
Not when I’m about to give her exactly what she needs and what I want.
“Had fun, love?” I joke.
“More, please, K. Give me more.”
“I will, baby,” I say while I lower her carefully, pressing her down against the floor, my hands bracing either side of her as I take my time feeding on her with my eyes.
She stares up at me, breathless, destroyed, perfect.
And then, I give her what she asks.
I slide my hand back up, fingers wrapping around her throat again, just lightly, just enough to feel her pulse racing beneath my grip.
“You like this, don’t you?” I murmur, tilting my head as I tighten my grip ever so slightly.
She gasps, her legs squeezing tighter around my waist, her hips lifting to grind against me, desperate for friction and making me fucking smirk.
Because she does love this. Loves me.
And because I have a goddess in my arms, I couldn’t be more proud of this miracle.
Fuck if that doesn’t set something primal loose inside me.
I press her down, pinning her, keeping her right where I want her as I drag myself out of her, slow, torturous, before slamming back inside.
She cries out, her back arching, her nails digging into my shoulders.
But I’m not letting her dictate this anymore.
This is mine.
She. Is. Mine.
I find my rhythm, deep and hard as I watch her fucking fall apart beneath me.
Her eyes flutter, her mouth parts, and the little sounds she makes, fuck, I don’t think I’ll survive this.
I release her throat only to grab her wrists, pinning them above her head, keeping her completely at my mercy, and she fucking squeezes me.
If I weren’t already dead, I’m pretty sure I would die from this alone.
She whines a desperate little cry that makes me groan as I thrust into her again and again.
I feel her tightening more around me, feel the way her whole body shudders, her muscles tensing, her thighs start to tremble.
She’s close.
And I want to see it.
“Come for me, love, ” I growl, my lips ghosting over hers, teasing, and when I find her bud, she breaks with my name on her lips, and her entire body locking me up while she shatters beneath me.
Fuck, she’s delightful when she breaks.
The heat coils, sharp and fast, and suddenly I’m there, chasing my own release as I bury myself in her, groaning as the pleasure wrecks me, as I spill into her, as I come so hard I swear I see fucking paradise.
I collapse against her, breathing hard, my hands searching for her, needing to make sure she’s real.
That this is real.
And it is.
Because right by my side is the love of my life, with her body pressed tightly against mine, clinging like letting go would mean losing us again.
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