Chapter 31
Kaze
Present
I’m failing her.
The rage that had been simmering in my chest erupts. It’s violent. Primal. Consuming.
It takes over my vision, my feelings, my voice.
I’m not Kaze anymore.
I’m not a ghost.
I’m not a memory.
Now I’m wrath.
Before I even know what I’m doing, I’m lunging at Mark, not thinking, not feeling, just burning.
It’s all because of them. Everything is because of them.
I slam into his chest with everything I have, with every ounce of hatred and helplessness twisting inside me. I scream, like maybe if I scream loud enough, I’ll leave something behind. A scar. A shiver. A mark.
But nothing happens.
Because I’m nothing.
I go at him again.
And again.
And again.
And every time, I pass straight through him.
I’m useless. Not enough.
Because I can’t touch them. Can’t hurt them. Can’t save her. Again.
Why didn’t she told me?
I failed her.
How can she be with me when I failed her like this?
I’ve never hated myself more than I do in this moment. Not for dying. But for not saving her. For not knowing. For not being there when she needed me most.
She saved me. Again and again. Her words. Her presence. Her love.
She saved me.
And now I can’t do a goddamn thing for her.
Fuck.
FUCK.
Tears stream down my face, not gentle, not poetic. They’re raging. They’re unrelenting. Choking ME.
I scream her name.
I beg her to come back.
I plead for her to fight.
“Please, love, please, move! Do something.” But she’s gone. She’s stuck inside herself. Inside the place where pain took her the first time.
The place I never knew existed.
The place she never let me see.
This nightmare isn’t new to her. This is something she’s survived before.
And now it’s happening again.
Right in front of me. And I’m useless.
I can’t stop it. I can’t hold her. I can’t even touch her. And the worst part? I don’t deserve to.
Not when I left her to survive by herself before! Not when I come back to her life after all this time, and didn’t see the signs.
Not when I didn’t come when she needed me because I was on drugs again. Because I was trying to solve the mess I’ve turned my life into before her.
Because I’m a shitty person, a fucking addict that wasn’t worthy of her love or her life.
So I scream.
For her. For me.
For every second I wasn’t there. For every bad decision I’ve made. But most of it, for dying when she needed me the most.
And still, she doesn’t move.
Until,
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING TO MY DAUGHTERS?!”
The voice crashes through the room like a bomb. Her father.
He storms in with a fury like I’ve never seen before, his voice thick with rage and vengeance. Behind him, her mother appears, trembling, and two police officers follow close, weapons drawn and flashlights raised, exposing in an instant everything happening in that room.
The entire room shifts.
James and Patrick barely move as the cops descend on them. No resistance. No fight. Just silence, as if they know the game is over.
But I don’t care about them.
I don’t see them.
Because my focus, my everything, is Khalee.
The second her father’s voice reaches her, something inside her breaks loose.
She drops to her knees and finally, finally, releases a scream. A raw, agonized sound that tears out of her throat like it’s been caged there for years.
And then she sobs.
“I’m sorry, ” she chokes. “Kaze, I’m so sorry. I didn’t tell you, I didn’t, ”
“Shh, love, no, no, ” I whisper, clutching her face between hands she can’t even feel. God, I wish she could. “You don’t owe me that. You don’t owe me anything. I should’ve known. I should’ve been there. Love, I’m sorry, I’m so, so, ”
But we can’t speak anymore. So we just break.
A Ghost and his girl. Soul and scar. Both wrapped in a silence that howls louder than anything around us.
The rest of the room fades, just noise now that I can’t even fully understand. Curses. Footsteps. The metallic click of cuffs. The low crackle of police radios.
None of it registers.
Until, out of nowhere…
“YOU brOUGHT THEM WITH YOU, YOU BITCH?!”
The scream cleaves through the air like a blade, so sharp it carves the moment in half.
Khalee flinches like she’s been struck.
I whip my head around, adrenaline snapping me into motion,
And there she is.
Mada.
Naked. Wild-eyed. Shaking. Her voice raw with betrayal, her body coiled like a cornered animal.
“YOU FUCKING brOUGHT THEM HERE?!” she shrieks again, louder this time. Shattered. Vicious.
Her scream isn’t just a sound. It’s an explosion.
I see it before anyone else does.
Before her mother lunges forward. Before the officers stiffen. Before Khalee even blinks.
Mada’s not just afraid.
Not just high.
Not just broken.
She’s gone, and what’s left behind is something wild, venomous. Something cruel.
She is madness in flesh and bone, but there’s something darker coiled beneath the surface. There’s intent. There’s rage. And there’s evil.
She launches at Khalee like a beast, fingers clawed, face twisted. All logic gone. All sisterhood erased.
Khalee gasps, her arms rising to shield herself, confusion breaking across her face like glass.
“Mada, what, what are you doing?!”
Her mother stumbles between them, screaming, her hands out like they can hold the storm that involves her two daughters at bay.
“What in God’s name is going on?! Mada, baby, look at me, ”
But it’s too late because she just explodes.
She flails and thrashes, every muscle trembling as she tries to tear herself free from the arms that hold her back.
“YOU FUCKING BITCH!” she howls, spit flying from her mouth, eyes glowing with hatred. “YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! YOU ALWAYS FUCKING RUIN EVERYTHING!”
And then, I see it.
The crack in Khalee’s expression. The wheels turning behind her wide, unblinking eyes.
The slow, devastating click of realization.
She’s not confused anymore.
She’s waking up.
And what she sees… what she finally understands… Breaks her all over again.
Because the sister she thought she came to save —the girl she risked so much for —was never the one who needed saving.
She was the trap—the rot at the root of the problem.
I can’t seem to be able to speak. And Khalee also doesn’t say anything.
We’re both just staring at whatever is happening in front of us. Still trembling. Still covered in tears and shaking breaths.
But inside?
I know what’s happening. She’s collapsing.
Because there’s only so much a person can take before they stop trying to hold it all together.
And she’s right there at the edge.