Chapter 1
Chapter One
Icover Tannith’s grave with one more handful of dirt, smoothing my hands over the mound in the earth with my black nails.
My skin looks even paler in the bright light of the sun, and every sense of mine is on alert.
I can smell the flowers, the sand and sea like it’s part of me.
I can still find a trace of Tannith’s scent, even though she is gone.
My heart clenches. It’s not enough to bury her, and I can never, ever bring her back.
The goddesses gave me a chance to be free, to live a life with Tannith and escape… and I chose them. I failed her.
My nails are coated with mud as I look at the makeshift grave I’ve given my best friend.
My sister. The only person in this world who loved me.
I’ve been alone before, but this hollow feeling?
It’s new. I feel nothing but pain and misery, and it is swallowing me up in numbness.
It’s been less than ten hours since she died in my arms. Ten hours where I’ve flown with Zyran, where I’ve stared at the reflection of myself in the sea and been unsure who was looking back.
I’ve changed. It’s not just my teeth, where two sharp pointed teeth have appeared, but my skin is paler and my eyes glow gold now.
They match the marking on my neck—swirls of black and gold, making a crown made of stars.
It covers my neck, and thankfully, the burn mark from the Crone alpha is gone.
I’m bound to no one now. I never will be again.
Her body was tiny to bury, and it was a painful reminder that she would never be back in her human form again.
She would never smile at me, dance, or sing.
Burying her was easier than I ever wanted it to be.
The wooden plaque is blanketed by a shadow, and it doesn’t matter, because behind it is a view of endless sea.
Tannith always wanted to see the beaches of the districts and travel and be free.
In a way, now she is. I run my fingertips over the driftwood that Zyran found for me and carved her name in it with a stone.
Tannith Crone. Loved by her sister.
It’s not enough. It will never be enough.
My gold hair wisps around my face from the chilly breeze as I stand up and look around at the ruined island we found.
It is tiny, with only what were probably two or three houses and a farm.
The houses are smashed in places, the brick outline only just about showing what this must have looked like.
It’s clear no one has stepped foot on this island in many, many years.
We passed many islands like this, all in ruins, but this place caught my eye.
What made it special, what I liked about it, was the flowers.
They’ve grown everywhere, climbing over the ruins of the buildings with their long petals and jewel-like centres.
They’re the most beautiful sunset colours.
Some light oranges, some more burnt oranges and yellows.
Others almost tinted pink at the ends. They are beautiful, and Tannith—she would have loved them.
I walk around the island picking flowers, every one the nicest I can find, before tying them together with some old rope and going back to her grave.
I drop to my knees, placing the bouquet of flowers on top of the dirt.
I haven’t said a word yet, and I should.
It’s a funeral…and people say shit. Like, they ask the goddesses to welcome the dead home, but now that I know the bitches, I’m not asking them for shit.
Well, maybe to stay the fuck away from Tannith’s soul.
I rub my neck, knowing there is a mark there. I haven’t even seen it yet. I blow out a breath. “I’m sorry, Tannith. Especially because you’re stuck with me doing your funeral speech, and we both know I lack any kind of poetic nice shit to say.”
I can’t do anything now, and I couldn’t do anything before.
No one could do anything to save her. It feels hard to breathe as the guilt threatens to swallow me up whole.
“Hell, I began your funeral speech apologising, when you often told me off for saying sorry to everything. Sorry doesn’t feel like it’s even a good enough word, and yet it is all I can find myself saying right now, and I hope you’re smiling.
Or cursing me. You were brilliant and so much better than me, Tannith.
You said at the end, you wanted to be brave like me, but I wanted to be everything you were.
I didn’t get a chance to tell you, but it’s true.
You were the smart, ambitious, wild and brilliant friend I was so lucky to find.
You should be in my shoes right now, and you’d have some amazing plan to get revenge and have a wicked life.
My plans usually involve curling up into a ball and pretending to be dead. ”
I wince. Not the right joke. “But I promised I’d try; you made me promise and I kind of hate you for making me be brave.
That’s a lie. No, I don’t hate you, I fucking loved you.
So much.” I sob once. “You are with your parents now, and one day, I will be with you too. Time was not given in the human district; we all knew it was borrowed or a second away from being stolen by the shifters. For what it is worth now, I’m so happy a big part of my life and time was spent being your best friend. ”
I bow my head and weep. I scream to the sky, to the goddesses and any fucker up there, that this isn’t fair.
I don’t want this. I didn’t choose this and I want her back.
No one replies. There is just a grave and silence left for me.
I don’t know how long I cry, but my eyes sting when I hear him come back.
I doubt he ever let me out of his sight.
My monster…except he is more than that now.
He is Zyran Nightward, and I unleashed him.
I don’t know what that even means, but it felt like the only way to escape with Tannith at the time.
The sun is bright and high in the sky as he stands behind me, casting a dark shadow. “Love, it isn’t safe here. None of these islands are safe. It is time to leave for the Oblivion court.”
I look up at him. Love. He always calls me that, as if we have known each other long enough for that word to have meaning.
All I feel is numb and empty—Tannith is gone.
“As it turns out, no one’s safe anywhere.
Look at my best friend!” I wave at the ground, at her grave.
I can’t even look at Zyran as I stand up.
“She’s dead. She’ll never be back to her mortal self again, and it is all my fault!
She’ll never have anything she ever wished for. Why don’t I just stay here and—”
He grips my chin and forces me to look at him.
“Don’t you dare tell me you want to die alongside her!
” he snarls. “You are mine, Meredith Duskmore. You will not wish for death because you feel lost. I know what it is like to grieve, to feel like that emptiness will swallow you up, and I will not let you sink into it. You are cared for, you have more than a grave, and I am here. Scream at me, shout and curse me, but don’t you fucking dare give up. ”
Meredith Duskmore. That is not my last name. It’s fair he might not know it; we have a weird possessive friendship that has been made from just horny dreams until this point.
I push him away. “You cannot control my thoughts and wants, Zyran.”
“Want to bet on that? You and I need to get to know each other better. I am not just the monster in your dreams anymore,” he purrs in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
I turn, but he has stepped back, and he is leaning against a ruined house with just his shoulder.
“There are dangers outside of the districts that none of the wolf fools there even know about. Where I’m taking you, it’s safe…
for now. Safer than any of the districts.
Outside of the city of Void, this world is not safe. ”
“The city of Void?” I question.
He nods once. His eyes are sparkling black diamonds, glittering with flecks like stars as they focus on me.
I run my eyes over him, over his grey skin and muscular body that is huge.
His tartan skirt moves around his knees, a white shirt tucked into it, and a black cloak falls down his back between his wings.
His wings twitch as I watch him, well aware he is watching me right back.
Gargoyle, that’s what he is, but other than that…
what do I know? He’s a good kisser…and good with his hands.
But I’m not sure those are good reasons to trust him at all.
Neither is the fact he is beyond handsome.
“I know you needed to bury your sister, and I gave you that time, but we must leave now, love.” He seems to search for the right words.
“There is a reason all we have seen is ruined islands. You’re not in the right state, not trained, not well enough to fight.
I will defend you, but if they come in a group—”
“Who?” I cut him off. I need more explanation than this.
“There’s much we need to talk about, but I do not think you’re in the correct frame of mind to be receiving more information that could scare you.” His tone is gentle, but it just pisses me off. “There is time for that.”
“You know what? I’m not leaving this island.
I trusted you because I had no other choice.
It was either that or go back with the heirs, who lied to me and let her die.
” I shout it at him and my heart hurts. Actually physically hurts.
They knew. The bastards knew Tannith was going to die, and I was fighting in the Folkland for nothing.
I only did it to save her, just for her, and I became the Champion.
I won, and I chose to save their lives at the end because I lov—no.
Whatever that feeling was between us all is now as dead as Tannith. Fuck them.