Chapter Six
Serenya
By the time the driver pulled up to the house, I had a light sheen of sweat coating my skin. It had to be projection, because there was no way the injection could have already been working.
Right?
I was just tired and overwhelmed. It was a stress response.
My blouse clung to my back as I climbed from the car, and I was grateful for the breeze that ruffled through my hair as I shuffled to the stairs.
I trailed my father up to the porch, glad there was no audience forcing him to act as if he were helping me.
My ankle still ached, but I’d have rather crawled up the stairs than have him touch me.
My focus narrowed to keeping my breathing even as I climbed the steps, a throb growing behind my eyes with each one I conquered. There was a prickling sensation along my spine, and I half expected the world to tilt when I reached the top, but it remained where it was supposed to be.
If only I could remain where I was meant to be, too.
“Get a grip, Serenya. No pity parties. You’re being ridiculous.”
My self-reprimand was half gasped and completely useless. Tears stabbed at my eyes, but I refused to let them come. I’d let fear and misplaced hope drive me to my current point, and I would have to face the consequences of being weak.
Inside, I headed straight to the kitchen, filling a glass with water from the fridge. The chill sank into my palm, and I chose to ignore the tremble as I raised it to my lips.
My father had already vanished, the heavy thud of his boots fading as the door of his office clicked behind him. The ride home had been mostly silent, the lecture I’d expected reduced to a single warning.
“This alliance is the difference between life and death for a lot of people, and for you to be the person chosen by Commander Draevahn means even more. It’s your duty to do what it takes to save the Human race.”
No mention of thanks, or pride, or any offering of comfort. Only duty and pressure.
I sipped the water until my stomach gave a nauseated roll. I leaned on the counter to brace myself, the slate cool against my sweaty flesh. My hair clung to the back of my neck, my shirt felt like I’d dashed through rain, and my bra chafed as if I’d spent an hour at the gym.
It wasn’t my imagination.
Forcing legs that felt too heavy to the bathroom in the hall, I popped the mirror open and grabbed the thermometer. A quick press of the tip to my forehead and the insistent beeping told me the truth of it before I could even turn the device to read the screen.
Fever was one of the side effects the doctor had mentioned, and as my stomach gave another roll, nausea was checked off the list. I hadn’t been paying enough attention to remember what else to expect, but the doctor had said we could take medicine for any symptoms, so I took out a bottle that would help with the fever and any body aches that might develop.
A footstep behind me had me looking up into the mirror, my father’s eyes flashing at me for a heartbeat before the thuds continued down the hall.
He didn’t say a word. Didn’t ask if I was okay. Just vanished, like usual.
By the time I’d palmed two pills and replaced the thermometer and bottle, he was back in his office again, but I could hear a murmur from the room.
Something drew me closer, my heartbeat almost drowning out my father’s voice as I paused outside the oak door, shoulder pressed to the wall as I strained to listen over the sounds of my own breathing.
“…already showing signs it’s working. Yes. The doctor said they would feel each other’s emotions. Telepathy would have been more useful, but we can still work with emotions. He can’t be as confident as he tries to seem.”
My chest hitched, my throat closing as the tears I’d tried to hold back welled and spilled over. They left scalding tracks down my cheeks that cooled quickly, but the relief wasn’t enough to ease the pain.
I’d made a life-altering decision for him, and all my father cared about was how useful I’d be once bonded to the commander.
A sob built behind my sternum. I turned away, not wanting to hear more or get caught listening at his door.
Stumbling to the staircase, I forgot the pills in my hand until I tried to grab the railing to steady myself.
I tossed them across the room with a strangled snarl.
I deserved to suffer. I had been too stupid and weak to stand up for myself even though I knew he wanted to use me, and the bubble of hope that my sacrifice might mean something to him had shrunk to the size of a shriveled pea.
The fact that any hope had remained at all only made me cry harder, but I was careful to close my door with nothing more than a quiet snick. I hated that I was still bound by his expectations, but I couldn’t handle a confrontation because I’d let emotion best me and slammed a door.
Chest heaving, I pressed my spine to the wall until my stomach twisted again, saliva flooding my mouth. I dashed for my bathroom just in time, my abdominals heaving as my knees slammed into the tiles.
My body purged itself of everything I’d even considered putting in it, including my surging emotions. By the time I dropped to my heels and sagged against the cabinets beside me, I was depleted.
Empty.
I washed out my mouth and shuffled to my bed, crawling onto the mattress until I could collapse without falling off. I’d never allowed myself the luxury of lying in bed all day, even when I was ill, but who cared anymore?
It was dark outside when I woke to throw up again, my curtains still wide open, revealing the stars sprinkled within the blackness overhead. Once I dragged myself back to the damp bedding I’d crawled from I stared out at them, wondering which one Commander Draevahn came from.
I didn’t know as much about the Morrak as I did the Qy’shaeuhl, which wasn’t much. The thought crossed my mind to see what I could find online, but I couldn’t remember where my phone was, and my eyelids drooped before I found the energy to search for it.
An insistent beeping woke me, the sky a pale blush when I peeled my eyes open. It felt like a weight sat on my back, pressing me into the soaked sheets beneath me and making me work for each breath, but my stomach sat mercifully quiet.
It took far more effort than it should have to lift my arms and then push myself upright, the room rocking before settling into place. My skin was too tight, too sensitive, and I shuddered from the air blowing across me.
Flashing light drew my attention to the table beside my bed, and I realized I’d never taken my phone from where I left it to charge each night since my father had rushed me out of the house so fast the day before.
Groaning, I ran a hand over my face before reaching for it.
I had three missed messages, and I chose to ignore my father’s to read the other two first. They were both appointment reminders, one sent the afternoon prior, and the other the one that woke me.
A glance at the time said I only had two hours until I was expected back at the NAA building, and I grimaced. My belly ached like I was having the worst case of cramps in my life, my hair and clothing were plastered to me with sweat, and dealing with people was the last thing I wanted to do.
Staring at my father’s name on the line below the two reminders, I debated not opening his message, but I would rather have time to prepare for anything else he expected of me instead of being surprised by another twist in my fate.
I held my breath as I tapped it but let it out as I read the short message, a hollow space in my chest throbbing.
“I had to handle something, but I’ll be back in time to take you to your appointment.”
I read the message three times, staring at the screen as if I expected it to change. I didn’t know if I was glad he would be there, or if I’d have preferred to face it alone, but it didn’t matter either way.
As crappy as I felt, I was showered and dressed by the time he arrived to pick me up. All I had been able to manage was pulling my hair back into a simple French twist and the barest layer of makeup, but since he hadn’t mentioned there being press, he didn’t have a reason to complain.
I walked out the door as his SUV stopped at the base of the stairs, grimacing at the sunlight that made my head throb harder.
I’d given in and taken the medicine I should have taken the night before, but all it had done was knock the edge off the fever so I wasn’t sweating through my shirt by the time I reached the waiting vehicle.
While the driver always opened the door for my father, I was nothing special. He remained in his seat, and I let myself in, almost surprised when my father looked up from his phone.
“I’m glad you’re ready.”
I didn’t bother faking the smile I usually would, grunting in response as I settled into the seat beside him. The furrow between his brows deepened, but I kept my gaze locked on the front window as the driver pulled away from the house.
“Serenya…”
Clenching my jaw made my teeth ache, so I forced it to relax. I wanted to ignore him, to treat him the way he did me and only acknowledge him when he was useful, but I also didn’t want to make things worse.
Perhaps he was going to apologize?
I stomped on the stupid thought as I turned my face to him.
“I know we haven’t had the chance to talk about this, but I’m glad you’re being reasonable about it.
This is the best thing that could have happened to you.
The Morrak have a warrior culture, so as the commander, he leads their planet.
It’s the same as if you’d been named the United Earth Council Chair, except he has the right to overrule all of his councilors. ”
Even when sick, I’d always been able to bite my tongue and play the good daughter, but I couldn’t help shaking my head as I corrected him.
“No. It’s as if I was marrying the Council Chair. Even here, their spouse holds no power, and in a warrior culture, it likely holds even less. With a stranger, one not even the same species, I wouldn’t even hope to offer insight into any issues that arise, much less have a say in anything.”
There was more I could have added but I managed to stop before it came out.
His expression had taken on the flat, devoid look he got when he’d stopped listening because he didn’t like what was being said, and there was no reason for me to waste my breath.
I was better off saving it to fight the nausea the movement of the car had brought back.
“Having someone inside their council is important. We might be allies now, but you know history well enough to know what happens when an ally stops being useful. We outnumber them, but they have the upper hand when it comes to weapons and ships.”
I couldn’t stop my scoff as I let my head drop back against the headrest. Looking at him only made the hurt worse. If I couldn’t defy him, how did he expect me to do anything against the commander of the Morrak fleet? A trained warrior with heightened senses and a freaking tail?
“Yeah, Daddy. I know our history. That’s probably the whole reason for taking Human women. So, what happens to me when one of you decide the other isn’t useful anymore?”