Chapter Eighteen #2
I followed behind, trying to stem the flow of tears and sniffles as the door whooshed open. The two who had knelt on the floor stepped out into the tunnel, but the one who had sat on the couch stopped and turned to me in the doorway.
“Your time has not yet come, but it will soon. Already your scent ripens. Shaevrin guide your path. Zha’eth.”
The other two murmured words I didn’t catch, and then all three were gliding away.
I stayed rooted in place, watching their robes sway with their steps.
The sun had risen and the crystals lit the tunnel, but it was still dim to my eyes, and I quickly lost sight of them, but the warmth of the younger Karzhari’s hands on mine lingered.
My fear hadn’t vanished, but was no longer strangling me.
I realized I’d forgotten to ask what a knot was, but it felt less important.
I had stepped back and raised my hand to close the door when my father seemed to materialize in front of me, making me gasp and jerk away.
“Serenya, what’s wrong?”
He stepped forward, his frown making my breath catch as he invaded my space, and I was forced to step back.
“I, oh, it’s nothing. I’m fine.”
I kept moving back as he advanced until he was standing inside the house, the door sliding shut on its own once nothing was in the way. My father glanced around, the contempt clear on his face, before he focused on me again.
“Where’s Kael?”
I swallowed. I didn’t want to see my father, and I was uncomfortable with him being in Kael’s home while he wasn’t there, but I also couldn’t think of an excuse to make him leave.
“He had a meeting with his council this morning.”
Looking around again, my father’s frown deepened, his lip curling as if he disapproved of everything in the room.
Including me.
“So why were you crying?”
I had never been one of the girls who could cry, then wipe their face and look like nothing happened.
My nose and eyes turned red and puffy, and it took at least half an hour to go away.
I probably looked terrible, and running a hand over my hair to be sure it was still in place as I checked to be sure my outfit was appropriate was automatic.
“I was learning about the ceremony I have to go through to be Kael’s mate. It was… shocking.”
Finding some of the anger over why I was having to learn about it now made me stand straighter.
“Considering I should have known about it before even being invited to the gala, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to go through with it.”
Blue eyes locked on mine, narrowing as his mouth thinned into a firm line.
“You have no choice, Serenya.”
I sucked in a breath, taking a step back. Even after everything, it was still a slap to the face for him to be so callous.
“Do you know what they expect? Did you know I’d have to be naked in front of the entire community? That they would watch us have sex?”
I’d never raised my voice in front of him, but I couldn’t help it.
I tried not to sound judgmental, but it was hard not to let some of my conditioning creep back.
After the Karzhari explained the ceremony I understood the significance of it, but I was still Human.
Still embedded with the idea that it was wrong.
My father’s jaw flexed.
It was the very situation he’d probably dreaded since the day I was born a girl. That I would do something scandalous in public, and it would hurt his reputation.
“And you set me up to do this without consulting me even once.”
“You will do what you must, Serenya. Earth is starving and the colonies are vulnerable. One attack, one late shipment, and our species gets knocked back a few thousand years. Possibly wiped out completely.”
My mouth hung open as I stared at him. Instead of offering comfort, or pretending he’d been thinking of what was best for me, he was putting the weight of the entire Human population on my shoulders.
I’d already decided to stay, but a tiny part of me wanted to be petty and say no, just so he couldn’t have what he wanted.
The door whooshed open behind him, jerking my attention to the dark shape there. Kael had said Daylen would bring me breakfast, so I was surprised to see Kael walking in instead, his eyes narrowed as he stared at my father before looking at me.
“Serenya. General Hale. Am I interrupting?”
With someone else present, my father’s demeanor changed. Straightening, the sneer melted off his lips and his eyebrows rose.
“I saw Serenya as I was passing by and noticed she’d been crying. I wanted to be sure she was okay.”
Silver and blue eyes turned to me. Both focused, both demanding, but for two different reasons.
“Did you speak with the Karzhari?”
Kael’s question was quiet, meant only for me. He stepped to my side, partially blocking my father, but still giving me space as he waited.
Licking my lips, I nodded.
“I did. They explained everything. It helped.”
His eyes searched my face.
“But you were crying?”
I could hear the question in his tone. The one he didn’t voice.
Was I going to stay?
I gave him the best smile I could manage.
“I was overwhelmed, but I’m fine now. I understand why it is done this way.”
“We were just discussing how she would comply with your traditions even though they go against our views on modesty. I’ll have to insist there are no recording devices during the ceremony though, since something like that getting out would rob her of her dignity on Earth.”
I glared at my father when he cut in and Kael tensed beside me as well.
“There is never any recording of the Zha’Khorr Valryn other than the notations made in the archives. It is sacred, and the only way she would be accepted as my korravai.”
The words held a hint of growl in them and when Kael looked back to me, my father seemed to get the hint to keep his mouth shut, even if he glared at Kael’s back.
“And your decision?”
I knew he was impatient to know, but I hadn’t expected my father to be in the room when I accepted. Still, there was no reason to hold back.
“I can do it.”
I said it softly, the words just for him. I watched his pupils flex as his kethra flared, and then he reached up to cup my cheek.
“You will not regret it.”
Once again, a moment that felt like it could have become more was ruined, but it was my father instead of me.
“When will the ceremony be? I’m anxious to celebrate your union and report to the council that our end of the alliance has been upheld.”
As soft as he had been with me, a shift of his posture brought back the intimidating version of Kael as he pinned my father with his silver gaze.
“It will happen when it is time. Only the Shaevrin know when an omega will go into heat, and the ceremony cannot begin until that happens. My Kethral stated two to three talren after injection, so there is time yet before it is due.”
It hadn’t hit me until then that my father hadn’t come to Morrakan for me. Rowena had come alone, without the woman who had been with her at the injection appointment, but for some reason I had thought he was coming for support, or to witness the ceremony.
Horror bled across every other thought in my mind, and I clutched Kael’s arm.
“He can’t be there.”
The words escaped before I could censor them, and my father’s irritated glare turned to me.
“Excuse me?”
That tone used to make me back down, but there was no way I could go through with the ceremony if I knew my father was watching.
I could accept strangers being there because this was their tradition and they had reason.
I could accept anything they thought of me, because Kael was the one who mattered, and the Karzhari had convinced me my nudity and body wouldn’t be a concern.
But I could not accept my father watching. That was one straw too many for this camel.
“He does not need to be.”
I stared up at Kael, surprised he supported my request without me having to explain. His calm eased the sudden panic that had grabbed me, and I loosened my grip on him.
My father sputtered, trying to object, but Kael cut him off.
“Her comfort is my primary concern. It is not your tradition, and you have no reason to be there. You will accept that we are mated when we inform you it has happened.”
My jaw hung open and my heart pounded, but Kael stood firm. He hadn’t made me beg or plead to have my way. He didn’t demand something in return.
He simply accepted my choice and made accommodations.
I couldn’t stop staring at him.
This was what a relationship was supposed to be, but something I’d never experienced.
It wasn’t one half standing in the other’s shadow, or begging for a crumb of affection, or trying not to get in the way.
It was supposed to be two halves supporting each other, and for the first time, I thought it might be something I could have.