Chapter 10 #2
“Will it hurt?” I instantly wanted to take it back. That was a stupid question. Of course it would hurt. The better question was, could I stand it?
Kaiden’s eyes softened, and he uncrossed his arms. He didn’t move to touch me, but the small action made me tremble regardless.
“I’m not going to break you, Eryn. That isn’t the purpose of this.” He looked me in the eyes, ensnaring me despite my desire to hide. “It will hurt, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. And honestly, I think a part of you is craving a little discipline.”
Now he was talking flavored shit. Craving it? Was he insane?
“The choice is yours.”
Oh gods. Was I actually about to do this? Slowly, I released my death grip on the wood and stood straight. Kaiden nodded, seeing that I’d reached my decision.
“Hands on the desk, princess.”
Slow breaths. My palms met the cool surface, and my shoulders hunched up around my ears when I felt him move behind me.
Stomach rolling, I waited for the first smack like a condemned prisoner trying to anticipate the executioner's ax. Was it on this breath that he’d strike?
What about the next one? His large hand rested on my ass over my thick leggings.
A warm, soft touch that was far from what my imagination conjured.
“We’ll stick to five since it's your first time,” he said, his voice close to my ear, but I kept my head tucked.
“One for disobeying my order to stay here, one for putting yourself in danger, one for doing it despite knowing what was hunting you, and two for hurting yourself in the process. Are you ready?”
I think I nodded, but honestly, I was locked up too tight to know if I moved or not.
Kaiden sighed behind me. “I need the words, Eryn.”
I was trying my best to not lose my shit.
It took all my control to allow this to happen in the first place.
Now he wanted me to talk about it? Some of my earlier fear bled into anger.
His level of audacity was astounding. I kept my mouth shut and waited for the first blow.
My entire body shook. I knew he could see, but I wasn’t strong enough to hide my fear, keeping silent took everything I had.
The anticipation was agony, and I found myself attuned to every little sound.
The soft brush of fabric behind me hinted at movement.
The quick change in the air around me, and the growing warmth at my back confirmed it a second before Kaiden’s body pressed up against mine with a growl.
I jolted at the unexpected, gentle way his arm wrapped around my waist. He pulled me snugly against him while he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck.
The feel of his lips on my skin was like an electric shock, and I stood frozen, unsure of what was happening.
“What are you doing?” I asked, breathless. His lips made another pass down my neck, causing goosebumps to sprout in their wake.
“I’ve changed my mind,” he murmured, and then pulled back until his warm breath tickled my ear.
He’d changed his mind? The hand that was on my ass now squeezed my hip, as if to reassure me it didn’t plan on causing any pain tonight. Kaiden pulled the chair out beside me, and that hand slid down my thigh, scooped under, and pulled outward.
“Here,” he said, lifting my leg a little higher. “Rest your knee on the cushion. You really shouldn’t be putting any pressure on that ankle.”
I allowed him to guide me and sighed in relief as the stabbing pain in my leg lessened.
“I don’t understand.” I tried to turn around, but his arms wrapped around me again and halted my movement. “Aren’t you going to…” I swallowed. “I thought you were going to punish me.”
I felt him sigh into my hair. “I had every intention of doing so, but as it turns out, I don’t want you to hate me.”
That was unexpected. I didn’t think he cared enough about my side of the bond to actually pay attention. Wait, did this mean I had to move in with him now?
“You’re not mad anymore?” I asked, testing the waters, and he chuckled.
“I’m furious,” he admitted, and his arm tightened around my waist. “I don’t like when you put yourself in danger, and you obviously can’t be trusted to take care of yourself. So, for the foreseeable future, I guess you’re stuck with me as your permanent shadow.”
As my permanent…”What?”
Him laughing over my lack of freedom was really starting to piss me off.
His chest shook against my back, and I wanted nothing more than to stomp on his foot to shut him up.
He was not going to follow me around. That was worse than his idea to spank me.
Better than being forced to live with him, but only barely.
“I’d rather you hit me,” I grumbled, and that set him off.
When his laughter was under control, he started nuzzling my neck again, like he was reassuring himself I was still here.
“Too bad,” he whispered, seeming content to just stand here and hold me. “Now that I know you’d like it, it's not a proper punishment, is it?”
There he went again, spouting nonsense.
“Like it?” I stiffened. “I’d rather get it over with than have you follow me, that’s all. Who the hell would like something like that?”
His chuckle was deeper this time, knowing, and it raised the hair on my arms. The hand that helped my knee onto the chair branded my thigh with its warmth.
I shivered as it moved higher up my leg, zeroing in on that central part of me growing more wet with every puff of breath against my skin, with every flex of his arm moving from my waist to my chest. How did we always end up like this?
“A little pain mixed with your pleasure is nothing to scoff at, princess. It can heighten sensations to a level that mere kisses and gentle touches can’t get you to."
As if to prove his point, Kaiden captured one of my nipples between his fingers and gave it a gentle roll. My back arched when he tugged on it before rolling it again. Tug and roll. Tug and roll.
“Pleasure can be slowly built,” he explained, never ceasing his movements.
“It can be layered and stoked.” His mouth trailed soft kisses from my ear, down my neck until he reached the sensitive spot where it met my shoulder.
“Pleasure can grow and rise like an uncontrollable flame if tended properly, but even something that powerful needs a spark.”
The fingers on my nipple suddenly pinched, squeezing the already tender flesh until it hurt.
I twisted in his hold, but Kaiden held me fast, whispering words of praise in my ear.
When he finally released the aching tip, a rush of warmth flooded my chest on a one-way track to merge with the throbbing between my legs.
“The key is balance,” he explained and switched his attention to my other nipple.
My hips rocked, needing that next layer he spoke about, and his hand cupped me over my leggings. The heel of his palm pressed hard, and my head fell back against his shoulder as a breathless moan escaped into the dark room.
“That’s it, princess,” he nipped at my neck, adding little sparks of pain to my growing pleasure. “Ride my hand. Chase it. I’ll help you get there.”
I hardly understood what he was saying, but I got the gist of it well enough.
My body leaped forward, overriding my mind in its hunt for more.
More fire. More friction. More everything.
I rocked my hips against his hand, using what he offered to push myself higher and higher until I hovered on the edge.
My head thrashed against his shoulder. Why wasn’t it working?
“Easy,” he crooned, and his hand ceased its torture on my nipple. I whined at the loss. “I said I’d help you, and I’m going to do just that.”
He shifted to the side and brought his hand down on my ass with enough force to sting.
I yelped, thrusting my hips away from the sudden pain and right into his palm.
He ground circles against my clit, and I was a goner.
It was pleasure and sin, both fire and ice that ran through my veins when I detonated.
My knee dug into the chair in an effort to keep me upright, but without Kaiden’s support, I would have been a puddle on the floor.
There was no way my legs were going to support me for much longer.
Figuring out what to do next wasn’t a problem, because Kaiden swooped me up in his arms and gently deposited me on my bed.
I stared at the ceiling and caught my breath as I heard him rummage through Rani’s mini fridge.
There was a war inside me. Anger fought with fear, pain with confusion, and beneath it all was a weird sense of accomplishment.
Despite my very vocal desire to be free of him, Kaiden had somehow managed to burrow beneath my skin.
I felt him there, in that bond I’d tried so hard to deny.
It pulsed in my chest like a newborn star, all shiny and proud.
I couldn’t even blame him. At no point in any of our interactions did I tell him to stop.
I chased after my own pleasure with as much enthusiasm as he had giving it to me.
What was I doing? Tears built behind my eyelids, waiting for a private moment to be set free. I blinked them away and watched as Kaiden turned around. He held a small ice pack and quickly wrapped it in one of Rani’s many hand towels.
“It’s for your ankle,” he said and carefully laid it across the injured joint.
“It doesn’t appear broken but if the swelling gets worse, I’ll take you to the health center for an x-ray.
” He paused like he was unsure of how to say what came next.
“Please stay inside tomorrow,” his tone could be considered polite, but I recognized an order when I heard one.
"Ezra and I will have the current problem handled by classes on Monday, and we can worry about the rest then.”
“The rest? You mean like my supposed freedom?” I glared at him, the anger an easier emotion to hold on to. I didn’t care if he was being nice. He was still the enemy. His sigh was a tired one, but I refused to care. This was my life he was trying to control.
“I fully intend for you to finish your degree, with the knowledge that it will give us at least another four years to figure…us…out.”
I side-eyed him, hard. “You’re going to let me become a veterinarian?”
“I never wanted you to be unhappy, Eryn,” he swore. “I only ever wanted a life with you.”
Gods. That one hit me right in the heart.
He was either very good at manipulation or he was telling the truth.
The problem was, I didn’t trust him enough to know the difference.
Having a bond who saw me as his equal was the best possible outcome.
It was the dream. Happiness. Fulfillment.
Love? It was everything I ever wanted, and he was dangling it in front of me.
Did I take the risk and trust him? By doing so, I’d be going against everything I’d ever known and every painful experience life had shoved down my throat.
Everything I’d been through wasn’t a lie.
What the tribunal did to my parents in his name wasn’t a lie.
I stared at the blond warlock in front of me, seeing both my fated bond and the guy who made me smile more these last months than I ever had before.
The question was, which one was real, and could I risk the danger in finding out?