Chapter 22
NEIRIN
With Evera in my arms, all outer threats fell away. The moment would not last. The time I had to embrace her was fleeting, and soon I would have to sort out what to do with Calix and return my thoughts to my brother. For now, though, I could simply enjoy her presence.
Though she’d tempered the heat, it pleased me that she felt it too—the rush, the desire, the need. Her scent frenzied my beast, and I had to fight the urge to lower my head to her neck, where it was at its strongest, and breathe her in. To find the pulse there and bite. To claim her.
No, I will do things right this time. Will not kiss her until I earn her name.
While the concept of putting such importance on a name seemed trivial to me, I could tell by her words that it meant very much to her.
If she were willing to let me try to earn her heart, despite the precarious situation I found myself in—that I’d put her in—it was not asking much that I court her traditionally.
In the quiet of the stables, disrupted only by the occasional sounds of the horses, I closed my eyes and kissed her forehead once more. The touch was simple yet intimate, and it filled me with warmth. “You will let me court you, then?”
She hummed thoughtfully and drew back enough to meet my eyes. Something flickered in the blue-green hue of her irises, and from her I detected the flutter of wistfulness. “You are asking me?”
Thoughts of my prior conversation with Maerel returned to me, and in Evera’s eyes I saw the heaviness the innkeeper spoke of.
“It’s not your brother’s blessing I want.” I raised a hand to stroke her cheek. “It’s yours.”
With an exaggerated huff, Evera leaned into my hand and grumbled.
Amused by her expressiveness, a smile tugged at the corners of my lips. “Have I said something wrong?”
“No,” she mumbled, “you’ve said something right, and it’s irritating.”
I laughed. “Should I apologize?”
“No.” She rested her head back on my shoulder. “It is only that it was my intent coming out here to lecture you, and you’re making that very difficult.”
“I will take that as a small victory,” I replied, smiling into her hair.
She scoffed. “My brother won’t like you.”
“All things considered, I would have to agree with him.” I raised a brow, then added with more seriousness, “I must ask something of you. It is not something I wish to burden you with, but it is of great importance.”
The only response I received was a faint, muffled sound of acknowledgment.
“It is very possible that my brother’s life is at stake,” I said, and Evera looked up at me, pursing her lips. “If I am caught before I’ve had the chance to clear my name, I will not be able to protect him.”
“You are asking me to lie to my brother about who you are?”
Sighing, I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I am.”
“Very well,” she said, resting her head at my shoulder again. “Then what do I call you?”
I attempted, in vain, to muffle my laughter. “I’ll admit, I’ve become quite taken with Cordelia.”
“I will not call you by my mother’s name.” Feigned irritation laced her tone.
Letting my soft laughter fade, I stroked her arm with my thumb.
The casual way in which we fit together like this was indescribable.
Courting a woman should be the last thing occupying my thoughts, but I was lost in a surge of gratefulness for my quick-tongued companion.
Whatever we were to each other, it felt remarkably right.
“The innkeeper calls me Lark,” I said.
“Lark?”
“Yes, it’s the family name I’m going by.”
“You have a family name now?” Evera pushed off my chest and sat. “Well, that is more than I have.” I drew a breath, but before I could speak, she smiled, showing me there were no ill feelings. “If you are courting me, I should have your given name.”
“Hadrian.”
She quirked her lips. “Lark is better.”
The woman was impossible. I released a breath and let my head fall back to the post behind me.
Evera stood and dusted her skirts. The absence of her warmth in my arms was tangible and left me with a sense of longing.
“Aureus requires a man to accompany me on deliveries. You can come by the shop in the morning.” She offered me a hand.
Raising a brow at her gesture, I took her hand. With my other, I pushed off the post and stood. Evera’s gaze fell to the cut at the inside of my arm; I’d forgotten about it. “You’re wounded.”
“Are you worried about me?”
“Hardly.” She looked up at me through her lashes. Gods, she is stunning.
The way she countered me and quipped with teasing venom only made me want her all the more. A stir of desire pushed me to drop her hand and cast my eyes aside lest I look at her a moment longer and the state of my need become apparent to her. Heat flushed my cheeks.
“I should get him back to the inn,” I said, turning my focus to the sleeping boy.
“Maerel will be pleased.”
I huffed at Evera’s sarcasm and knelt before Calix, hefting him back over my shoulder. The snort of Evera’s mare drew my attention.
“I will return Sorrel to the pasture,” Evera said, grabbing the mare’s lead.
Catching sight of Evera’s wrap abandoned and forgotten amid the hay on the floor, I set my jaw and crouched down to pick it up, the boy’s weight making the simple task more difficult. When I stood, I offered it to her, and our eyes held.
For a moment, I wondered if she would ask me to wrap her wrist back up for her. I wouldn’t. She could hide her mark if she wanted to. It was her right. But I would not conceal the very thing that bound us.
Taking the wrap, she turned from me, leading her mare at her side. With one last glance over her shoulder, she stilled, uncertainty tugging faintly at her brows. “Goodnight, Neirin.”
“Goodnight.” Goodnight, Evera.
When I was with her, it was so easy to distance myself from the outside forces that weighed on me.
Even as I held one of the Queen’s messengers over my shoulder, the impending threats felt less daunting, somehow.
As if there were a possible outcome where not only Harlan’s safety was secured, but where I could, perhaps, find happiness for myself. With her, with Evera.
But no. I hardened my expression and hefted the limp weight of the unconscious boy higher. The Queen would never let me have happiness. She would not allow me to escape her grasp. I huffed a breath, clearing my mind. There was no use worrying over it. It would do nothing but rile my monster.