Chapter 23 #2
“Yes, before that.” I quirked a smile. “He touched me, or rather”—I lowered my voice to a whisper—“he put his fingers inside of me.” No man had done that to me before.
Sex was always about the man’s climb to a quick release, but Neirin had sought to pleasure me.
And gods, had he. Renna had spoken of such an act before.
It was the only reason it hadn’t entirely taken me unawares when he did it.
Covering her son’s ears again as if the infant had any understanding of her words, Renna leaned in over the fence. “It’s even better when they put their mouth on you.”
“I know what kissing is,” I retorted dully, a bit louder than necessary. My eyes darted past my friends to the market, but no one looked our way.
Renna shook her head. “Like a kiss, but better, and not on your mouth.”
It was my turn to flush. Did she mean …
My brother’s slate blue jerkin, one of the more colorful pieces of clothing he owned, caught my attention. He approached from the stalls carrying a basket of produce purchased from the market, his face stoic as ever.
“Where would a man kiss if not on your mouth?” Farren asked, flustered.
Aureus stilled a few steps back, having clearly overheard, and his face reddened slightly.
Because I was cruel, I sucked in my lips to hold back my amusement and leaned over the fence to whisper to Farren, to tell her exactly where a man might kiss a woman. It didn’t matter if this was news to me, too. I wasn’t about to pass up this opportunity.
“There? Gods, what would it be like to be kissed by a man there?” She shook her head and stepped back, bumping into the basket Aureus held in his arms.
A smile twitched at my lips; it could not have been better.
Her face nearly crimson, Farren turned and raised her gaze to my brother’s. Aureus, usually devoid of any expression aside from focused disinterest or mild disappointment, paled. The gape of his mouth clearly portrayed his discomfort. It was wonderful.
“I …” Farren fumbled.
Beside her, Renna suppressed a laugh.
With his eyes locked on Farren’s, my brother swallowed, his throat bobbing.
For a moment, I looked past my amusement, my heart hitching at the evident attraction neither would admit to.
Farren, because she was Farren. And Aureus, because he was too preoccupied worrying over me and the shop and Leighis, not giving any time even to the thought of his feelings, where Farren was involved.
Raising his eyes, he looked past Farren and addressed me. The firm line of his lips returned. “Is this the effect you have on her?”
I scoffed, but it was Farren who spoke, her voice breaking. “Please don’t think less of me.”
Setting my jaw, I cursed myself mentally for causing her worry. And then I mentally cursed my brother for his stupidity.
“Farren,” Aureus sighed, lowering his gaze back to her. “Nothing you say could make me think less of you.”
Much better.
At that moment, Castien woke, the scrunch of his face a precursor to the wail that followed. Ever the natural mother, Renna stuck a finger in her son’s mouth, and he sucked, momentarily soothed. “Hungry again?” Frustration edged her tone.
“I need to bring these things in,” Aureus said, dismissing himself. Farren made a slight sound of acknowledgment, and I suppressed a cringe at the unspoken words between the two. He turned his back and headed for the shop door.
I returned my attention to Renna and her squalling child.
“Would you like help with his latch?” At least where breasts and feeding babies was concerned, no one seemed to care if a woman gave guidance or insight.
After all, that was all we were good for, was it not?
Bearing and raising children. I suppressed the frustration that rose to the surface and focused on my friend.
Without drawing the infant from the sling, Renna lowered the shoulder of her dress, and the boy rooted for her exposed nipple. When he found it, he sucked greedily, and Renna scrunched her face.
From outside my peripheral, a man cleared his throat. The three of us shifted our attention in unison as Neirin turned around the side of a tree just outside the fencing that lined the main road. He leaned against the railing a short distance away, Calix in his shadow.
“How long have you been hiding there?” Accusation laced my words, and Neirin laughed, the sound low, rumbling, and delicious. No, not delicious. Irritating.
“Adequate time to overhear your exaggerations.” It was the boy who spoke, a bit under his breath. “No man is that big.”
Neirin shot Calix a look of scrutiny, and the boy cast his eyes to the stables with bored disinterest.
“What would you know?” Neirin cuffed the boy, then ruffled his hair to soften the gentle reprimand and sighed. “Go, stay out of trouble, boy.”
Calix glanced back up at him, twisted his lips in a thoughtful expression, then set off toward the market without further note. Neirin watched after him for a moment, his brows drawn with a look of subtle concern.
I watched the boy disappear into the crowd, then Renna’s suppressed laughter drew my attention back. Farren’s amusement followed as she choked back shy giggles. I scoffed in a vain attempt to conceal the heat that rose to my cheeks.
“Are you ready to go on your deliveries?” Neirin tilted his head back casually, seemingly unfazed by their bashful amusement at his expense.
“Not yet.” The blush at my cheeks deepened. I need to help Renna first. Resorting to quips to hide my discomfort, I narrowed my eyes at my courter. “Go back to hiding behind the tree.”
Neirin grunted and hefted off the railing. “I’ll go inside and speak with your brother.”
Right, there was that, too. My heart thundered. Agreeing to this the evening before was one thing. But now that Neirin stood before me in the daylight, all casual confidence and rugged appeal, apprehension gripped me like a vice.
Gods, what will Aureus say? My mouth went dry.
“Go,” Renna said, drawing my attention. “Come by later. I’ll be more comfortable at home anyway.”
“Are you certain?”
“Positive.” Though I suspected it was a gesture more than a truth, I appreciated her for it.
I released a breath. “Thank you.”
“Yes, thank you,” Neirin said, his strides having brought him to Renna’s side. He leaned and spoke against her ear, loud enough that I could hear his words. “For the ideas. About kissing.”
Oh, gods. “Neirin,” I hissed.
He raised his gaze to mine, and his eyes darkened. I swallowed, catching note of my own blunder at speaking his true name.
“Let’s go get your things,” Neirin said. He hopped the fence effortlessly and crossed to me in a few short paces before offering his hand, a challenge in his eyes. The playfulness of it wrinkled my nose and planted within me the seed of stubbornness.
On the other side of the fence, Renna leaned in toward her sister, peering around Neirin at me. The two beamed, giddy as children, no doubt waiting for me to take the hand of the handsome stranger and allow him to chaperone me out of the garden and to the front of my family’s shop.
Huffing my irritation, I brushed past Neirin with pointed intention and hitched my skirts above my ankles.
I can climb a damned fence.
There was a perfectly good gate just some distance down, but this was a matter of proving a point.
Neirin followed alongside me the few short strides back to my friends, his arm brushing mine as we walked. On it, the mark of our bond stood out in contrast to his fair complexion. Not hidden like mine was.
His hand came to my waist unexpectedly, and I turned to him, readying a few choice curses.
But my words were stolen from me on a rather undignified squeal.
Effortlessly, Neirin lifted me, and the back of the railing hit my thighs.
He sat me down atop the fence, and I wobbled.
Trying to steady myself, I clutched his cloak, and he grinned, triumph glinting in his eyes.
Last night, he’d been vulnerable, so I’d chosen to give him a chance. Today, he was being a cocky prick.
“Do you mind?” I demanded.
“Not at all.”
Renna and Farren suppressed their amusement. Scoffing, I lowered my hands from his chest, steadying myself atop the fence instead. I swung my legs over and dropped rather unceremoniously to the other side. In an annoyingly graceful movement, Neirin joined me.
“I like him,” Renna said under her breath, leaning toward me.
Ignoring her remark, I asked her when I could come by to help her with her son’s latch. After a few brief exchanges, she and Farren walked back through the market.
“What’s gotten into you?” I hissed, turning my eyes back to the smirking guard beside me. And damn him, his dimple made my stomach flip.
Neirin brushed his shoulder against mine. “Have I upset you?” Faint amusement undermined his feigned innocence.
“Yes,” I retorted, trying to push down the unexpected rush of desire that clutched me. His skin was almost golden in the yellow light of the sun.
Gods, he has perfect cheekbones.
Neirin drew in his lips, trying and failing to suppress a knowing grin. My cheeks heated, but I brushed the embarrassment aside. It wasn’t like he knew what I was thinking.
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention,” he said.
“You were listening to us.”
“I was.” His eyes danced.
Scoffing, I paced to the shop’s front door and opened it. The bell dinged. Neirin’s hand braced higher up, holding the wooden door open, and I walked in.
Aureus straightened, his gaze rising, eyes narrowing and sharpening as he turned his attention from the work that occupied him at the back of the shop. “Evera.”
“Where are today’s deliveries?” I asked, my tone short. They would be behind the counter, just as they always were.
Aureus rose a brow, surely catching my mood but choosing not to bring attention to it. He gathered the day’s orders and an oversized satchel. Taking the goods from him somewhat gruffly, I stuffed them in the sack.
“Is Ruairc going with you?” my brother asked.
“No,” I retorted and left the men in order to gather the book of lore from the study table in the back room.
Adding it to my bag and taking a breath to temper the mood the guard had put me in, I returned to the front of the shop to find the two men scaling each other up in a bluntly male way. I rolled my eyes.
“We spoke about this, Evera.” Aureus lowered his voice as he turned his gaze back to me. “You know the rule—”
“Yes,” I snapped. “It must be a man who hands the orders over. That’s what Lark is for.” I grabbed him by the cloak and pulled. At first, my tug did nothing, but he stepped forward when he recognized my intentions.
Raising his chin, my brother narrowed his eyes.
Neirin offered his hand and held it for a moment, but when it was apparent that Aureus had no intention of shaking it, he lowered it. “I aim to court your sister.”
Not, can I court your sister? Not, I would like your permission to court your sister. My chest fell heavily as I let out a breath.
“No.” Aureus’s lips were a thin line.
The prick.
“No?” I released my grip on Neirin’s cloak and stepped to the counter, coming face-to-face with my brother. “What happened to ’I want you to be happy’? What happened to ’Is there someone you would rather have?’”
“I make you happy?” Amusement laced Neirin’s casual intrusion.
“No,” I snapped back to him, hitting the countertop with a flat palm. The action was childish and caused little prickles of pain.
“Are you hurt?” Neirin reached for my hand, any trace of amusement gone from his tone.
With calculated coldness, I raised my gaze to him, and he sucked his lips in, retreating half a step.
In the way of men, Aureus turned his attention to the other man in the room. To talk about me. In front of me. “You cannot court her without permission.”
Though Neirin stood straight, his composure was casual. “I have permission.” He dipped his gaze to me and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Looking closer, I noted a tenseness I hadn’t seen before.
“This isn’t her decision.” Aureus’s words came on a snarl.
“Isn’t my—” The words turned into a growl as hot fury rushed through my veins.
The back of Neirin’s hand brushed against mine. Subtle, but enough to draw my attention and interrupt my trail of what would have inevitably been hurtful words. Had he put an arm around my waist, I’d have kneed him in the balls.
“This is her decision.” Neirin’s words were calm but assertive. “Do you have everything you need?”
It took me a moment to realize Neirin’s question was directed at me. “Oh, yes.” I swung the satchel over one shoulder. The book of lore made it heavy.
Though my brother stood at his full height and held Neirin’s gaze, he made no further challenge. Something about that unsettled me. This was what I had wanted, wasn’t it? Unease flittered in my chest like the ghost of a dream.
“Let’s go,” I said, and Neirin’s eyes fell on me in an instant as if he could pick up the distress I veiled with my sharp tone.
The back of his hand was a reassuring presence against mine, and acting on a need for stability that disarmed me, I intertwined my fingers with his.
Neirin drew his brows inward, but he nodded, and together we walked to the door.
The bell rang as he pushed it open, and we stepped out hand in hand.
At the bottom of the steps, he turned to me, voice somber and thick with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“You shouldn’t have been so blunt,” I said, a sharpness still in my tone. Gritting my teeth, I cast my eyes down.
Neirin dropped my hand. “Should I not have defended you?”
“No, I—” I sighed and looked up at his silver eyes set beneath brows drawn in an expression of concern. “Thank you for defending me.”
He smiled faintly, but the gentle worrying in his eyes remained the same.
A quiet lay between us for a moment, and I retook his hand—an offering, an apology.
The creases in his forehead softened, although they did not entirely smooth out.
He ran his thumb over the back of my hand. “I will always defend you.”