Chapter 28 Evera
EVERA
As we rode back into town, Neirin held me close, his touch light, as though he were afraid to both break me and lose me. When he trailed his nose along my cheek–faintly, he released a heavy sigh.
“Did you know? About Calix?” I asked.
“I did.”
This time it was my breath that left in a heavy exhale. “What else are you keeping from me?”
Neirin hesitated. On our left, the river rushed, gurgling over stones and lapping at its banks. Voices carried from a side street—the soft hush of women speaking and the giggling echo of playing children.
“Many things,” Neirin said finally.
Swallowing, I waited for him to continue.
“I meant what I said when I told you I would answer your questions. You have to know I had every intention to—” He snapped his mouth shut, swallowed. “But I understand if you would rather I take you home. I’m sure your brother will worry if you’re not there when he returns.”
“No,” I said quickly. “No, I want to talk.”
At my back, Neirin relaxed through a breath. “I do not deserve your patience,” he said wistfully, “but I am so very grateful for it.”
Unsaid words lay heavy between us as Sorrel carried us past the market square, empty at this hour, and toward the cliffside where the main road ran parallel.
Neirin turned us to the south. I wet my lips, tasting the salt in the air.
The setting sun cast tangerine light on the well-packed dirt road before us and warmed the right side of my body.
Neirin rested his cheek against my head. When he spoke, his tone was lighter than before, an effort to lessen the tension. “Would you still like to try going faster?”
Tilting my head to the side to look up at him, I dislodged his resting place, and he met my eyes. I found an apologetic half-smile pulling at his lips.
A flicker of adrenaline sparked in my chest, and I returned his smile. “I would.”
His arm around my waist tightened, holding me securely. “You will tell me if anything hurts?”
There was a dull ache at my sides. The farmer’s kicks would leave bruises if they were not already forming, but there would be no lasting damage. “My pain tolerance is high.”
“That is not what I asked.”
Sighing, I said, “I will tell you if anything hurts too badly.”
Neirin tensed, and though I suspected my response worried or displeased him, the feel of his muscles at my back and encircling me caused my belly to do a little flip.
“I’m okay, Neir,” I coaxed, letting the unexpected warmth flutter within me.
From the cliffside, a gallon of petrels took flight, the small dark birds appearing as silhouettes against the vibrant sky, save for the broad white bands that wrapped their rumps.
Sorrel snorted at the commotion, and Neirin’s hand left my waist momentarily to stroke her withers before he returned his hold on me and tightened it.
“Are you ready?”
The warmth in my belly fluttered like the wings of the petrels, and I nodded, a childish excitement coming over me.
“I will not let you fall,” Neirin spoke against my ear, and when his chest rose against my back and he clicked twice with his tongue, Sorrel responded.
She nickered, her muscles bunched, and she pushed to a trot.
As we picked up speed, I gripped her mane, teeth chattering from the roughness of her gait.
The excitement within me twisted as a very real trickle of fear took its place.
“I’m going to push her to go faster,” Neirin said, his voice raised so I could hear him.
I clenched my jaw.
“It will be smoother, trust me.”
Trust him.
He clicked again, and as if anticipating the command, Sorrel’s strides lengthened.
I lurched forward with the movement, but Neirin’s arm around my waist braced me.
Sorrel’s withers were hard against my backside, uncomfortable with the rough motion.
Spots of trees came upon us and passed in a blur.
The only constant was the coastline. Body tensed, I gripped tighter on Sorrel’s mane, and each time her gait launched me from my seat, I tensed.
“Stop fighting it,” Neirin said, curling in so he could speak against my ear, his words nearly lost on the air as it cut around us. “Relax and move with her. Move with me.”
My breath left on a shudder. I gritted my teeth and shut my eyes to the blur of movements. Though it went against all instinct, I forced the tension from my muscles. Trust him.
With my eyes closed, I became more aware of Sorrel’s motion.
And Neirin was right—though we were moving faster, it was less jarring than the trot.
Fluid, really. I relaxed against Neirin’s chest, all my awareness focusing on him.
On the warmth of him, the security of his firm body and steady hold on me, on his movements, so naturally in tune with Sorrel’s. Rolling, almost.
Letting the fear ebb away, I gave in to the movement and found the flow.
Once I discovered it, I opened my eyes, and my breath caught.
The wind pushed my hair from my face as the world around us passed in a blur.
Joy swelled as the sensation of absolute freedom overtook me.
Like the petrels overhead, I was weightless, carried with the wind.
The festival and coming upon the King as we had, the magic that marked Neirin and I from our binding, the absolute madness of it all—gods, this moment was worth it.
How long had I believed I would be nothing more than someone’s property, bound to a home and expectations?
But Neirin… he’d treated me differently from the beginning.
The ease of our conversations, the way he never corrected my candor or told me how a lady ought to speak.
Showing me how to hold my dagger the night of the festival instead of taking it from me.
Teaching me to ride. Being at my side when I set the girl’s arm.
Despite what followed, he’d put faith in me.
He accepted me for who I was, without trying to change or fix me, as everyone else did.
We rode until the sun neared the horizon, the western lands a jagged black silhouette across the sea.
Neirin leaned back and pulled slightly on the reins, slowing Sorrel to a walk.
My mare’s head hung and her breath came heavy, heaving her sides.
Neirin steered us off the path to a grassy patch a few yards from the cliffside.
After dismounting, he placed a hand on my thigh. “Toward me this time,” he instructed.
I looked down at him. The hood of his cloak had fallen back during the ride, and sidelong rays of light bathed the right side of his face with warmth. The bridge of his nose and the strong lines of his profile cast shadows across his jaw. The contrast of his contours made him all the more handsome.
Again, a coiling tightened beneath my navel, and without a moment of hesitation, Neirin grinned wickedly at me.
“Damn you and your ability to read my emotions,” I lectured, narrowing my eyes playfully as I swung my right leg over Sorrel’s neck so that I sat facing Neirin.
He matched my expression, though the corner of his lips rose, tugging at his dimple as he suppressed laughter.
Gods, he was handsome. I truly could not fault myself for wanting him.
Softening, I let the revelations from our ride warm me with a different form of desire.
Something deeper, something of the soul.
“What is that emotion?” he asked, and in his silver eyes I found the same yearning for connection, for comfort, for the intimacy of foreheads resting against each other, and the faint brush of noses. For stillness. For belonging. For acceptance.
Shaking my head, I smiled and took his offered hands. “It is my turn to ask questions,” I reminded him.
He stepped closer, dropping my hands. With the gentle brush of his fingers, he drew my hair over one shoulder, baring my neck, while the touch of his other hand trailed along my inner thigh, coaxing.
I reacted to his touch, parting my legs, allowing him closer.
Sideways atop Sorrel’s back, my legs wrapped his chest. My heart fumbled, and when he lifted me effortlessly, a smile broadened across my face.
“I suppose it is,” he replied with a faint sound of amusement as he stepped back and adjusted his hold on me, supporting me with one hand beneath my bottom. The other he wrapped at my waist, and I arched at the touch until our chests pressed together. The rapid beating of his heart mimicked mine.
This moment … it was mine, ours. Something we chose. Something we shared.
“Neir.” I trailed my nose up his. “Kiss me.”
Though his breath left him on a shudder, he raised his lips and pressed a kiss to my temple. “Not now. Not until I’ve earned your name.”
Oh, gods. Realization dawned over me. He’d not called me by my name once since our discussion in the stable. I sucked in a breath, searching for the right words, but as I did, Neirin started toward the cliff edge. I giggled, distracted, holding tighter to his neck.
“You’ll drop me,” I squealed.
Amusement vibrated his chest. “I will not drop you.”
The waves rolled in and out with the tide, crashing against the cliffside. Neirin crouched down, keeping his hold on me even as I squirmed and protested amid giggles.
“Though you seem to be insistent, I do,” he said through soft, broken laughs as he fell back onto the grass and braced one arm behind him to keep us from falling back, the other still wrapped at my waist.
Grass tickled my legs where my skirts hitched up above my boots. A breeze blew in from the sea, catching the waves of my hair and holding us in a cocoon.
Neirin tucked a strand behind my ear. “You’re stunning.”
Heat rose to my cheeks, and I was overtaken by bashfulness, forcing me to break his gaze.
“Come now,” he coaxed, lifting my chin, a soberness lacing his expression. “Ask the questions that weigh on you. No more secrets.”
“No more secrets,” I repeated.
Neirin dipped his chin in a subtle nod.