chapter fourty-seven
elysia
The sun had long since vanished by the time I regained consciousness.
Once I had gathered my strength and reassured Kaden a thousand times that I was okay, we began preparing to move. Not because we wanted to, but because we had to. Because the dead deserved more than to lie in crimson snow.
We moved like ghosts the entire journey, hollowed and trembling as death hung thick over all of us, nothing but grief guiding our steps.
It didn’t take long for us to reach the next campsite, a quiet forest nestled between the eastern ruins and the northern line.
Tall, snow-laden trees circle us like silent sentinels, moonlight dripping through their branches in silver streaks. The camp has long since been set up, the bonfire crackling between chunks of logs, but none of us feels the warmth.
Thane spent the entire walk searching for a place to lay Sirena to rest, somewhere worthy. And when he found a small patch of grass miraculously clear of snow, dotted with moonlilies that refused to wilt… he fell to his knees.
It was there that he began to dig around the glowing flowers.
Eris had offered to shape the graves with her element, and though Thane allowed her to carve the earth for Varo, when she moved to do the same for Sirena, he shook his head.
Only he would dig the grave for the woman he loved.
Every handful of frozen soil.
Every screaming muscle.
Every stab of grief
He took it all.
He wanted to take it.
Because Sirena was worth every ounce of pain. Sirena was worth his love and his grief a thousand times over.
And now… now two deep graves lie before us, shadows pooled in their open mouths.
Varo is laid gently in the first, Edric and Darion having settled him with the kind of care saved for brothers.
Darion speaks first, his voice rough and edged with sorrow. “You were the bravest man I ever had the honour to fight beside… and the best father I’ve ever known.”
Edric chokes on a breath before managing, “You were a ridiculously hopeless romantic and loved your daughter far too much...” He huffs a small laugh, “Gods, I don’t think you ever really stopped talking about her…
it was annoying.” His voice cracks. “But I don’t know how the hell we’re going to go on without you and your persistent yapping. ”
Darion pats Edric on the shoulder as they both stifle a sob, then, with a choked voice, Darion whispers, “Rest well, brother. We condemn your soul to Noctis.”
We bow our heads and echo his words, then watch in mourning silence as Eris buries him beneath the earth.
When we turn to Sirena’s grave, Thane hesitates.
And so we wait… for nearly ten minutes as he prepares himself to say goodbye, as he stares at her unmoving body and racks his head around this new reality. Fiddling with her engagement ring, now hanging around his neck on a delicate chain woven from crystallised leaves.
He takes in a slow, shuddering breath and holds it against his heart before kneeling beside Sirena, brushing a strand of hair from her face with a tenderness that crushes me. Then, his voice comes out, barely a sound.
“Angel… you were the gift of my life,” he whispers. “And I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on without—.” His breath halts, “Without you, without your smile, your laugh… without your warmth.” His shoulders shake, broken sobs tearing from his body before he steadies himself again.
“But I promise you this, when I cross the veil… I’ll find you. We’ll have the wedding we planned. With moonlilies, and music, and every damn cinnamon bun I can steal.” His tears fall in a steady stream, one by one, onto her still cheek. “I love you,” he says. “I will never stop loving you.”
He places a trembling kiss on his hand before pressing it against her cheek. The tenderness of it mists my eyes, grief settling like a heavy weight in my chest.
Kaden speaks next, his voice steady only because it has to be.
“You teased me mercilessly our whole lives, you mothered us all, and you fought harder than anyone.” His breath breaks, just a fracture.
“I hope you knew how much I admired you. How much I… loved you. You deserved decades more than this, but I’m grateful for every moment we got with you. ”
And that’s when it hits me.
Her voice.
Her laugh.
Her teasing grin.
We will never hear it again.
My hand clamps around Kaden’s as broken sobs rack through my body, his fingers tightening around mine in a silent comfort as he too, breaks apart.
Then, without a word, the bond opens. The funeral dissolves, trees and snow melting away until I’m somewhere else entirely, looking through the eyes of a small, dark-haired boy with far too much quiet in him.
“Hi, I’m Sirena.”
“Kaden,” he answers, almost shy.
Her smile is immediate, those striking blue eyes already carrying that effortless kindness. “This is Thane.”
Thane nods, small and solemn, edging closer to Kaden’s side.
“Can we sit here?” Sirena asks.
Kaden hesitates, then nods. “Sure.”
“Thanks,” she says lightly, settling in. “I guess we’re family now.”
The memory fractures, and light bends my vision before reforming again. This time, they’re just slightly older, nine… maybe ten. The stone corridors of the Tower stretch long and lanternlight flickers as three sets of footsteps race across the floor.
“Stop! Stop it. Both of you!”
Sirena skids around the corner as they come to a stop, hands planted on her hips, curls half-fallen from their pins.
“You cannot just steal food from the kitchens!” she scolds. “Do you know how much trouble you’ll be in if the cooks catch you?”
Thane winces; Kaden doesn’t look remotely repentant.
“We weren’t stealing just for us,” Kaden says defensively.
Sirena raises a brow. “Oh?”
Thane reaches into his coat and pulls out a wrapped bundle, offering it up like an apology. Inside are pastries, still warm and dusted with sugar and icing.
“For you,” he says shyly.
Sirena blinks. Once. Twice. “You stole pastries for me?”
Kaden shrugs. “You said you missed the cinnamon rolls at supper.”
Her frown wavers, then splits into a joyful smile as she takes one. “Well,” she adds, already chewing, “I suppose I won’t tell anyone this time.”
Thane grins, and Kaden’s mouth twitches into the smallest hint of a smile.
The memory splinters again, shattering into another and Kaden’s broken awe bleeds through me as teenage Sirena and Thane come into fruition, dragging him into the middle of a dance floor.
Laughter rings through them as they try to teach him how to dance.
He’s stiff and scowling, all sharp edges and resistance, but Sirena spins him anyway.
“On Noctis, Kaden,” she laughs. “It’s just dancing, not a death sentence.”
He stumbles. “I think I’d rather a death sentence than suffer through another dance with you two.”
Sirena clicks her tongue. “One day, Kaden. You’ll miss me pulling you onto the dance floor.”
“Not likely.”
The bond tightens, grief slicing through us both before the memory folds into another. Sirena and Kaden are sitting on a blanket at the Tower’s shore, stars scattered above like distant onlookers. Her knees are pulled to her chest, arms wrapped tight around herself.
She’s crying… quietly, almost angrily.
“He doesn’t listen,” she says at last, voice thick. “He thinks loving me means protecting me from everything.”
Kaden says nothing at first. Just sits beside her, shoulders close but not touching.
“He only does it because he doesn’t want to lose you. He loves you more than life,” he finally says.
“I know,” she whispers. “That’s what makes it hurt.”
Silence stretches between them, heavy and honest.
“You’re lucky,” Kaden says after a moment. “To be seen like that. To have someone look at you and know you… really know you. Even if it does piss you off.”
Sirena turns, studying him.
“One day,” he continues quietly, gaze fixed on the stars, “I hope someone looks past what I am. My title. My power—”
“Your arrogance,” Sirena teases with a sniffle.
“All of it.” He adds. “I hope they just… see me. The way you and Thane see eachother.”
She reaches for his hand without hesitation, fingers warm and sure as they lace with his.
“They will,” she says simply. “I promise.”
The memory blurs, shifts and unfurls into another… this one is mine.
“I’m Sirena Ashvyn. Lightning wielder, chaos incarnate, and lifelong thorn in Thane’s side.” She winks, stepping back into Thane.
“Elysia Morningstar,” I reply. “Fire wielder, occasional troublemaker, and apparently now a lifelong thorn in Kaden’s side, too.”
Her eyes light up. “I like you already.”
The world warps again, shifting and changing into another memory, one that has my throat closing and my heart shattering impossibly more.
“Honestly,” Sirena says, voice light as ever, “the plague or the war may kill me, but sugar definitely will first.”
“Then I’ll make sure you’re buried with a cinnamon bun, my lady.”
“Only if it’s still warm,” she adds, smiling softly.
“Deal.”
The memory shatters.
“Wait,” I gasp, my eyes snapping open as the present crashes back in. I step forward before the first handful of soil can fall. “I—just give me a second.”
I rush to Thane’s pack, hands shaking as I dig through it until my fingers close around the tin.
Her last cinnamon bun.
When I return, I clutch it to my chest like something sacred.
“I know this is…” My voice breaks, “I know this is silly. But Sirena once told me she wanted to be buried with a cinnamon bun.”
A few people huff out something like laughter, more breath than sound.
Kaden approaches from behind me, pressing a steadying hand to my back. The action is tender and grounding, stopping me from shattering into a thousand broken pieces.
“But she also said,” My voice wavers. “More like insisted… that it had to be warm.”
Another small wave of grief-stricken laughter ripples through us as I place the bun in my palms and draw on the fire beneath my skin. The heat rises, warming the bun until steam curls from the iced top.
The scent of cinnamon and sugar and Sirena fills the air.
Thane lets out a small, broken sound. The kind that shatters something inside everyone who hears it. Then, with an aching heart, I lower the bun using a soft pulse of tidal influence, setting it gently above her heart.
“There,” I whisper, choking on a sob. “Warm. Just how you wanted.”
A few broken sobs turn into soft, disbelieving smiles. Even through tears, the memory of her humour and brightness tugs at our lips.
Thane steps forward again, a handful of dirt clutched in his hand “I…” He starts, voice cracking, “I will find you in every lifetime, Angel. I love you.”
And then, together… because it would break him to do it alone, we help him bury her beneath the stars, surrounded by her favourite flowers. And when the last handful of soil settles, it is not silence that follows, but the sound of hearts breaking in unison.