Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
S avannah
“Gigi, please don’t fiddle with your food,” I plead with a soft sigh, trying to maintain a calm tone.
“I don’t want a ‘poon, Momma. I want a fork like you.”
Gigi pouts and pushes her plate away refusing to use the spoon I’ve given her. Her cheeks are rosy with defiance, but her eyes hold a touch of mischief. Her relentless energy and current antics aren’t making it any better. Despite my frustration, a smile tugs at my lips as I listen with smothered amusement to the way my daughter mispronounces “fork” as “folk.”
“Why can’t I hab a folk, Momma? I wanna folk!”
Gigi’s independent streak is on full display today. She pokes her fingers in the spaghetti as I bite back a “because I said so” response. Lately, I feel she wants me to provide a dissertation to reason everything I tell her to do. The use of a utensil shouldn’t be a battle. I’d give in but the idea of cleaning tomato stains off her new outfit chafes me. I exhale an exasperated sigh.
In moments like these, I desperately crave a glass of wine.
“Spaghetti’s messy, baby. Just use the spoon.” I guide the tip of the utensil down into the bottom of the bowl and slide my fingers to pinch the middle of the metal handle so I can give her a full spoonful. In a surprise move, before she can take it from me, she smacks it out of my hand. The sauce goes flying but my reflexes are quick. I duck. The spoon hits the table, and the bright red sauce goes flying, landing all over the front of Ian. My jaw drops.
“Gigi!” I scold as my temper flares. “That is not nice!”
Sam’s eyes widen at the outburst.
I turn to Ian. “I’m so sorry. Let me get something to clean up your shirt.”
I make a mad dash to the sink for something to help with the mess, wetting a few paper towels and adding some drops of soap. I rush back to the table and hand them to Ian with some quick instructions, so the stain doesn’t set.
“Dab the spots and let it sit for a few minutes.” I turn to Gigi with a hard look. She’s looking at me with tear-filled eyes. “Tell Ian you’re sorry.”
“Sowwy, E-ban.” The slight tremble in her bottom lip warns me tears are about to fall. She senses the weight of what she’s done.
“It’s okay,” Ian reassures. “It’ll wash out.”
I meet his dismissal with a stern expression. “She knows better,” I say firmly, turning to my daughter with narrowed eyes. “Don’t you, Gigi?”
As if on cue a loud wail escapes her lips, starting out low and building to a full-blown bawl. Gigi’s hands fly to her face. She’s embarrassed, but as I look closer, I can see there’s more going on; sauce has gotten into her eyes and is causing them to burn. I send a pleading look across the table. “Sam?”
“I’m on it.” He sees what I see and rushes to the sink, quickly returning with a wet cloth. “Here you go.”
I reach behind me and blindly take it while simultaneously capturing both of her wrists.
“Don’t touch your face,” I remind her gently as I wipe the goop from her eyes and cheeks. Sam hands me a second cloth, and I repeat the process until her face is clean again. When I release her hands, I ask, "Does it still burn?" Gigi shakes her head, her bottom lip puckered in a pout.
I look over at Ian. “I apologize.”
“I’m good. I mean, she’s only three,” he shrugs off any concern. “You do what you need to do for your daughter. I’m fine.”
I study his expression, meeting his eyes. There’s no trace of annoyance on his face, only an understanding expression.
I lift Gigi from the booster seat and sit her on my lap. Her crying has reduced to hiccups and, embarrassed and seeking comfort, she hides her face in my chest. Her unexpected move turned a civil dinner into chaos, but she’s repentant and, like Ian said, she’s only three. I tighten my arms around her. Like any mother, I’m not immune to my child’s cries.
“Momma, I sorry,” she mumbles through her sobs.
“Shh.” I console. “It’s okay, sweetie. I’m sure it won’t happen again—right?”
“No, Momma.” She promises shakily.
Planting a soft kiss on top of her head, I hold her close as she shyly peeks out from behind her fingers to steal glances at Ian.
He smiles warmly at her. "It's alright, kiddo. I'm not mad."
Our eyes meet, and I can feel something’s changed. An unexplainable connection between us has occurred. It's as if the barrier around my heart begins to crack. Gigi removes her hand from her face and spreads her fingers so she can see Ian through the gaps. My gaze follows him as he stands up and, with my guard slowly falling, my shoulders relax. Ian smiles at me before making his way to the bathroom—most likely to clean off the goop—but surprises us all by stopping in front of Gigi and me.
"BOO!"
Gigi jumps then giggles as Ian acts playful. Just as quickly she shyly buries her face back into my chest.
With a sudden movement, Ian straightens up and turns away, appearing to go about his task, but with a swift motion, he snaps back on the other side of me, crouching down at Gigi’s eye level.
"BOO!" he exclaims again, causing Gigi to burst into a fit of delighted laughter. The tension in the air dissipates like a puff of smoke and I can't help but smile at the sight as her delight gains traction and a giggle blooms into a belly laugh.
"Youse silly, E-ban," Gigi says, sitting up to beam at him.
"You're not the first person who's told me that," he responds with a grin. As he looks over at me, his posture straightens, and he speaks again. "Looks like she still has some sauce on her fingers. You might want to wash her hands at the sink."
I take Gigi's hand in mine for inspection and notice the traces of sticky sauce that still linger. "It's under your nails, Gigi. Let's go wash up." I scoop my arm under her bottom and lift her as I stand. She wraps her arms around my neck but tries to break away so she can walk.
"Momma, I want E-ban to take me," she insists, looking up at Ian with pleading eyes. I bend over and she scrambles away until she’s beside him. She takes his hand, looking up at him. “You take me, E-ban?”
By his reaction, he seems momentarily caught off guard and looks from her to me. "Is this okay with you?"
I nod in approval and watch as they walk down the hallway towards the bathroom. Once they've disappeared, I turn to Sam, completely stunned.
"What just happened?"
"What do you mean?" Sam asks innocently.
"She never acts like that—I don't understand."
"She's just a kid, Savi," he reassures me.
"But ... she's never done anything like this before."
"Ian seems fine and no worse for wear. I wouldn't worry about it," he says with a shrug of his shoulders.
A whirlwind of emotions crashes into me, demanding clarity.
"Why is he here? Why did you bring him to Mad Dogs?” My voice trembles. “You know about his struggles with drugs and alcohol."
Sam's response is calm and confident, "I do know about it, and it used to be a problem. But trust me, because there ain't much I don't know about Ian; he's not the same person he was when he overdosed. He's been in recovery for nearly four years now."
My eyebrows shoot up in disbelief. "And you think it's a good idea for him to be in a bar?"
Sam doesn't flinch. "I'm in a bar too, Savi, and I'm a drunk. But I'm clean."
He holds my gaze firmly, but I can't help feeling hesitant. "And Ian? Are you positive he’s really sober?"
Sam nods without hesitation. "He's a changed man because of what he's been through. You have my word—and I don’t give that lightly."
Despite his reassurances, I still feel unsure. “But?—”
His palm snaps up between us. "We can discuss Ian another time, Savannah."
His tone goes low, so Ian doesn’t hear us. I know if I pose any more questions, I won't get any more answers. Not today.
Although I trust Sam’s opinion, my mind is plagued by a separate persistent niggle. "On a different topic: I don't feel like the epitome of motherhood right now. I teach her 'stranger danger' and all of that, and yet, though she doesn’t know him, she goes with him without a second thought."
Sam waves me off. "You worry too much, Savi. She's got good instincts, and Ian may be more decent than he lets on. Kids are like dogs, you know? They have a keen sense for telling if someone’s good or bad."
I consider his comment with a subtle toss of my head. "You always manage to find the silver lining. In people and in situations. I honestly don't know how you do it."
He smiles, cocking a brow and giving me a reassuring look. "Well, darlin', bright spots are easy to find. There's nothing else worth seeing, in my opinion—and it sure as hell beats lookin’ for the bad in people."
* * *
On the ride home, Gigi's chatter slowly fades into a peaceful slumber. Once home I carry her into the house. It’s way past her bedtime and as I carefully navigate the stairs, I watch the gentle rise and fall of her chest. It’s mesmerizing. Her small body is a solid thirty-three pounds of weight in my arms. With each step, I feel exhaustion creep into my bones, but am filled with love and contentment as I gaze at her sleeping face.
I lay her down on her bed and she stirs. I move back slightly and watch as she settles into a deep sleep. My heart swells with adoration as I watch her, taking in every perfect detail. Her thumb finds its way to her mouth, a comforting ritual that she still holds onto at night. She curls up into a cozy ball, and I reach for the beloved blue and white striped blanket that has been washed countless times since she was born. As I gently unfold it over her, she sighs in contentment and a soft snore escapes her lips.
I slowly back out of her room, I take those moments to admire the peaceful scene before me. The room is adorned with pictures and toys, all carefully chosen with love. The air is filled with the scent of baby powder and lavender from her nightly baths. Closing the door softly behind me, I tiptoe away, not wanting to disturb her peaceful slumber.
I inhale deeply with a sense of quiet satisfaction. My next stop is to the kitchen for a cup of herbal tea before heading to bed myself. The day may have been busy and tiring, but the tranquil moments that follow make it all worth it in the end.
With each step, the stairs quietly creak beneath my weight. The house is still and calm as I make my way down to the first floor. Just as I reach the bottom step, my phone begins to ring. My heart sinks as I remember I had promised to call Sam as soon as I got home. Fumbling through my purse, I finally locate my phone.
"Sorry, Sam," I whisper into the receiver, trying not to wake Gigi sleeping soundly above me.
"Hello, Savannah."
My blood runs cold at the sound of his voice. Drake. How did he find me? Panic sets in as I struggle to keep my composure.
"I know you're there," he taunts, his voice dripping with malice.
"Why are you calling, Drake? I have nothing to say to you."
"Aww, now my feelings are hurt. Did you think changing your name would make you invisible?"
He chuckles, a sound that sends shivers down my spine. His mocking tone cuts through me like a knife. "You have ten seconds, then I'm hanging up."
"Nice family you've got there. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it."
His words linger in the air like a heavy fog, and something snaps inside of me. Did he dare threaten my child?
My blood boils with anger as Drake's true nature reveals itself once again. I’d forgotten how evil he is.
"You're a psychopath," I spit out. “I changed my name for reasons that have nothing to do with you,” I lie. “And don’t threaten me or my family.”
"Just saying … he sneers. "Your little girl is lovely."
His direct reference to my daughter makes bile rise in my throat. Memories flood back of how he went from being a loving boyfriend to a monster.
"It's been four years, Savannah. You'd think you’d have forgiven me by now." His tone turns venomous. "And wouldn't that be around the time you got pregnant?"
His words strike a nerve, dredging up painful memories of the night he took everything from me. "You're disgusting," I manage to choke out.
"Just doing the math. I believe her conception might be around the time when we last made love."
"Made love?" A maniacal laugh escapes and then I turn deadly serious. "It was rape."
"You say tomato ..." He trails off, enjoying my discomfort. "By the way, did they ever find who was responsible for your parents' murder?"
The casual way he says that stops me in my tracks. My mind goes blank as I stand in stunned silence, then hang up and chuck the phone across the room.