Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
I an
We stand quietly as I digest the tranquility of the moment. Not wanting the emotion I’m feeling to make me look like a weak little bitch, I glance down at the spot where Savannah and I are linked. That unfamiliar pinch in my chest is becoming a regular visitor. “I thought you didn’t like me.”
“I don’t,” she shrugs, “but it’s dark and I don’t want to risk breaking my neck while walking back to the car.”
The humor in her voice is unmistakable, and the lighthearted tone is cute. I took so many things for granted when I saw them with bloodshot eyes. My perception of the world has shifted from what it used to be. I am satisfied with the quietness shared between Savannah and me. As we watch Gigi chasing bugs and tiring herself out, it gives me a satisfaction I’ve not known. I’m learning to appreciate the little things and spending time with these two taps on a softer side of me.
A smile teases Savannah’s lips as she gazes into my eyes. Her face, so beautiful and perfect, is bathed with an ethereal glow.
“I know I said Gigi won’t be forgetting this night. Neither will I.”
I respond instinctively, barely giving myself a moment to think or breathe. That same night magic casting its spell on them is now bewitching me. With little regard for consequences, I hook her waist and pull her into me. Her full, pink lips are begging to be kissed. I crash my lips to hers, and a moan escapes. Savannah's mouth was made for kissing and damn me, forbidden fruit never tasted so sweet. Her body melds into mine and the heat between us ignites. Passion rises, fueling my need. Lust careens through me with a dizzying rush more powerful than any drug that entered my veins. I want her. I crave her. There’s a need in me I’ve never felt before. She’s a sin I want to commit. A prayer I beg. Heaven couldn’t be any sweeter than the thought of being inside her. Addict that I am, I can’t get my fill.
Our tongues twist together as my lungs with the scent of lavender and vanilla. Something inside me fractures and a rush of blood hardens my cock. How can one damn kiss be more potent than whiskey or blow? I don’t have the answer and, despite what logic tells me, for her, I’d want something more than cheap fuckery.
* * *
“Momma?”
One word and a pint-sized girl stop us dead in our tracks. Instantly, we separate. The spell suddenly broken and so is the kiss.
“Oh, my god.”
Breathless, Savannah pushes me away, her fingers flying up to her lips. A smiling Gigi props her hands on her hips and I chuckle. She looks like she’s ready to scold us. Savannah hits me with a flash of anger in her eyes, and I smother a laugh. It seems my finding humor in this situation is not well received.
Savannah rushes over to Gigi and grabs her hand. “It’s time to go home.”
“Savannah.” Her name rides on a plea but hits deaf ears. Instead, she ignores me and goes faster.
“Savannah.” Again, no response as she continues toward her car tugging Gigi as she goes. I note that my chasing, coaxing, pleading have caused her to quicken her steps even more and an alarm bell goes off as the little girl struggles to keep up.
“Savannah, stop. You’re practically dragging your daughter. She’s going to trip.”
Like a viper, she spins, her expression venomous and, in a lightning-fast move she hoists Gigi onto her hip. “I am NOT dragging my daughter.” She points at me and wags her finger as she goes around in circles. “You. You!”
“Me, what? Are you pissed off because I kissed you?” She freezes and stares at me, making a sound like some feral animal, then stomps away.
“Did you just growl at me?” I snicker but stop before it morphs into a full-fledged laugh, and continue to follow behind her. “Really, Savannah? It was just a fucking kiss.”
“Youse said a bad word again, E-ban!”
“Great. Just, great.” We reach the car and she yanks the door open, bending to place Gigi inside.
“Bye E-ban,” she waves to me, her cheeks raised by a cheerful smile.
“Later, kiddo.” I stand by, refusing to budge and block her as she moves side to side, both of us dodging back and forth like an awkward dance. “Why are you acting like this?” My tone is calm but is met with a vicious narrowing of her eyes. She darts, slipping her arm by me enough to grab the handle on the driver’s side door. I grab it too, momentarily cementing it in place, but she persists with the makeshift tug of war. When she doesn’t achieve her goal, she stops and hits me with an icy blue stare.
“Let go, Ian.”
“No. You’re making this into a big deal. It was nothing, so stop acting like this.”
“Nothing?” She stuns me, her tone deadly, enunciating the word slowly like a stake through my heart. “Get your hands off my goddamn car.”
I pop my hands off the metal, obeying her command like I’ve been burned. Her chest heaves. Her complexion darkens as the angry red creeps from her neck to her cheeks and I suddenly have a better understanding of that saying that goes something like women and ‘hell hath no fury’.”
I feel like, somehow, I have to de-escalate this situation so she doesn’t leave here like a bat out of hell. Unleashing my old rockstar charm, I wink at her as I move aside to let her get into the car. “You know, you’re really cute when you’re angry.”
She shakes her head as she secures the seatbelt, then looks at me as she closes the door. “Screw you, Ian.”
I watch, confused as she flies down the driveway, and stay there until the glow of the white headlights disappears.
* * *
Like a child, I throw myself down into the worn, leather chair and a rush of air hisses as my ass hits the seat. Normal, I don’t mind the emitting faint scents of cedar and tobacco but at the moment it makes me feel sick. The room is as dark as my mood. Shadows dance on the walls as a storm of accusations, condemnations, and pompous opinions weasel their way into my head. Feelings I’d hoped were buried rise from the dead, their stagnant stench seeping into my pores. Hurtful memories tug at me, combining with a fresh sense of disgust to pull me into a dark abyss. The convicting thought chain is broken only by the jangling ring of my phone. I pull it out of my pocket, tempted to chuck it at the wall. Sky Barrows. Dash’s widow. If it were anyone else, I would have dismissed the call.
“Hey.” My tone is flat.
“What’s wrong?” She instantly picks up on my mood.
“Just stupid shit. Just me being me.”
“You want to talk? I might be able to help.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s stupid. I kissed a woman. Apparently, I shouldn’t have.”
“Oh yeah?” She chirps. “Is she cute? Is it promising?”
“Well, yes, but, hell, no.”
“Stop it.” She scolds. “Did she kiss you back?”
“I think so—thought so. How the fuck do I know? I caught her off guard. There’s another thing; it might screw up my friendship with Sam.”
“How so?”
“They’re close. Real close. Like family.”
“Oh.” She pauses.
“He loves her.”
“He loves you too.”
“I’m nobody to love.”
“I do. Sam does. You know it. This woman might too.”
“Yeah, right. I don’t know how to do the love thing. She’d be better off staying away from me.”
“Ian, you are not as expendable as you think.”
“I might have crossed a line with this one.”
“What’s her name?”
“Savannah.”
“Pretty.”
“Sky, her little girl saw me kiss her. I made a major mistake, and she was pissed. I saw what I wanted and took it—like I always do. I didn’t even think of the kid seeing us. She’s three years old and Savannah has every right to never speak to me again.” I pause to take a breath.
“Oh, Ian. Please don’t think like that. Dash wouldn't want you to. Neither do I,” she says.
The sorrowful weight in her tone makes me slump over, and I catch my head with my hand. “Right now I feel like I’m a waste of oxygen. It started out well and went from really, really good, to shit—because of me.”
“You’re your own worst critic. So, what’s your plan to fix this?”
“I don’t know if I can,” I say truthfully. “There’s something about her Sky. I can’t put my finger on it. I just … she matters. I feel like she’s always mattered, but I don’t know how to explain that.”
“You don’t have to explain it. I don’t quite know how to explain me and Dash, but I’ve told you our story. You even heard him call me a different name. Maybe there is something to reincarnation and timeline jumps. I can’t explain it, and many would dismiss it, but not me. I only know what happened with him. How I saw the whole thing, and how it could have been in another lifetime. If it’s as real as I felt it was then, I can only hope we’ll find each other again.”
“He really loved you, Sky.” Tears blind my vision.
“And he really loved you, too. Think positively. You can do this.” She encourages. “You’re stronger and wiser than you know. I believe in you.”
“Yeah? Well, you might be the only one.”