Chapter 24 – — Professor Bale, Lecture Notes
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Fear will keep you alive if you let it sharpen you. It will kill you if you let it freeze you.”
— Professor Bale, Lecture Notes
It’s been several weeks since Senna was found drained, and the story everyone is telling now is that something came through a fissure and killed her.
Headmaster Ashmoor called an assembly the next day and said a minor fissure had opened along the outer grounds that night, too small for the wards to register until it was too late.
He said a twisted creature came through and that Senna had the misfortune of being the first one it found.
He named the thing, something feline that hunts and drains its prey.
He said the breach had been sealed, the wards reinforced, the perimeter patrols doubled.
He assured us the academy is safe and everything has returned to normal.
The three of us haven’t told anyone what we saw in the morgue. As much as we’d like to believe the headmaster and let it go, especially Lux, we can’t. I know we are all still keeping an eye on Malric and watching our backs.
Jace has moved past his indifference and decided to hate me instead.
He went from pretending I don’t exist to going out of his way to say hurtful things whenever we cross paths.
Snide comments about my abilities. Last week, he told my patient right in front of me that I was incompetent and they should request a different student to be assigned to their case.
The patient actually did.
I try to tell myself I don’t deserve this, that what happened between us doesn’t give him the right to sabotage my work, to poison people against me before I even have a chance to prove myself.
But deep down, in the darkest corners of my heart, I think maybe I do deserve it.
I broke him. I made him shut off every feeling he had to survive what I did. This cruelty is what’s left in the hollow space where his heart used to be. My one action made different people out of both of us, and this is our new normal now.
That’s on me. I tried to tell him I didn’t sleep with Malric, that all I let happen was the bite, that I shoved him off the moment he tried to push for more.
But Malric got to him first, and Malric was thorough.
It doesn’t matter what I say now. The damage is done, his mind has been poisoned by a monster.
I haven’t found the mirror either. Ellavee and Lux have been helping me search for it whenever we have free time, scouring the lower levels of the school, checking every storage room and forgotten corridor we can access, but we’ve turned up nothing and are starting to run out of ideas.
One location keeps getting brought up, the one place we haven’t checked because none of us are brave enough to try. Headmaster Ashmoor’s office. Or even scarier, his private residence.
The answers I’m looking for might be there.
I know my mother’s secrets, my father’s lies, the truth about what I am, all of it might be locked away somewhere in those rooms. But breaking into the headmaster’s quarters isn’t merely risky.
It might be suicidal. He could easily make up some story about my death.
So for now, I keep searching, keep hoping the mirror will turn up somewhere less terrifying.
This morning, I wake early, my stomach already twisted with anxiety.
Today is our midterm for Professor Bale’s class, and I’ve been dreading it for weeks, but not because I’m unprepared.
I’ve studied harder than I’ve ever studied for anything in my life.
It’s because the midterm isn’t a written exam.
It’s a field assignment at a real fissure site.
And Lux is even more anxious than I am. Her father will be evaluating her performance. The pressure on her shoulders is immense, and I know she’s stressed out.
I take a quick shower and get dressed in my leathers, the ones we were issued specifically for combat situations. They’re stiff and uncomfortable and make me feel like I’m playing dress-up, like I’m pretending to be someone braver than I am.
Poppy lounges on my bed, watching me with those clever dark eyes. I toss her a blueberry muffin, and she catches it in her tiny hands, chittering happily as she tears into it.
I bite into my own muffin and reach for Nella’s journal on my nightstand.
There’s only one entry left, the last thing she ever wrote before she died. I’ve been saving it, rationing the pages because once I read it, there won’t be any more. No more of her voice. No more of her thoughts. No more pretending she’s still here in some small way.
I need to let her go. I can’t keep punishing myself for what happened because it’s slowly killing me from the inside out. I need to read that final entry and say goodbye and find a way to move forward.
I shove the rest of my muffin in my mouth and flip to the back of the journal, deciding now is as good a time as any.
The headmaster took me to the tenth floor today. Didn’t know there was one. Healers I’ve never seen strapped me down. He said he needed samples of the corrupted tissue for research.
They gave me something to sleep, but it didn’t work right away. I heard sounds before everything went dark. Snarling. Screeching. Clicking like teeth snapping together over and over. Not like any animal, like something else.
When I woke up, I was back in my room. I asked about the sounds, but he smiled and said it was the sedative giving me nightmares.
I wasn’t dreaming. Something is up there.
Draven visited tonight, and I finally figured out why he looks so familiar. When I visited my brother at the Vanguard Academy, there was a portrait of Lord Aldric and the royal family.
Draven was standing at his father’s right hand.
He’s the lost prince, the heir who walked away from the Obsidian Throne. Everyone back home knows the story, but no one here seems to know who he is.
I don’t know why he’s here or why he’s hiding, but I’m going to tell him what I heard tomorrow.
I hope I have enough tomorrows left.
I read the entry multiple times and am still in shock.
Draven Aldric. Not Alucard. Aldric.
He’s been using some other last name this whole time.
Holy hell.
He’s the heir to the Obsidian Throne. The prince of Valen.
It would explain why the other vampires are always parading around him, why Malric listens to him when Malric doesn’t listen to anyone.
Why he has some hidden agenda with the headmaster and how Lux’s father seemed to listen to him too.
But Lux doesn’t know. There’s no way she would have kept that from me.
Fuck, I’m going to be late. I grab my cloak and start walking to class.
What was the headmaster doing with Nella on the tenth floor? Taking samples? I find that hard to believe. If he had anything to do with why the corruption spread so fast, I swear to the gods…
No, I can’t think about this right now, because if I don’t pass my midterms, I might not make it back to Ashwell at all.
I know something is off the moment I walk into Bale’s classroom.
The silver-haired fae stands beside him. The same one who threaded me to Ashwell on my first day. He looks bored, examining his nails like transporting students into danger is just another Tuesday.
“Sit,” Bale commands. “We’re drawing pairs.”
I slide into my seat. Lux is already there, knee bouncing under the desk. She shoots me a look of concern.
“Midterms,” Bale continues, pacing the front of the room. “Two nights. Active fissure zones across Valen. You will be paired at random and dropped at a location with a map, basic supplies, and nothing else.”
Everyone breaks out into whispers. I notice only bone year students are here today.
He must have sent blood years to do something else for their midterm since they already completed this last year.
I almost wish I could be paired with a blood year.
That would have been a great advantage. Well, anyone other than Malric.
“Your job is to make it to the marked site, assist any locals, and handle whatever comes through the fissure. Twisted creatures, possibly crawlers.” His eyes sweep the room.
“Some of you won’t make it back. That’s not a threat.
It’s reality. This is your first taste of what it’s really like out there, and it will be nothing compared to a large fissure or the cycle, gods forbid. ”
The silver-haired fae yawns, and I wish I could be that calm right now.
Bale furrows his brows in sympathy. “I know this sounds harsh, but this is what you’re training for. Every single one of you chose to be here. You chose to become Veilguards, and Veilguards don’t get the luxury of safe classrooms and practice cadavers forever.”
He leans against his desk and crosses his arms. “Out there, people are going to be hurt, and they’re going to look at you like you have all the answers. This is your chance to prove you belong here. Not to me. To yourselves.”
Bale reaches into the leather satchel and pulls out a handful of wooden tokens. “When I call your name, you come up, draw a token, and find your partner. No trades. No complaints. You get who you get.”
A million objections lodge themselves in my throat. We aren’t Vanguards. We shouldn’t have to face down twisted creatures with nothing but a map and a bone saw.
This is madness.
And not all of us chose this. I never applied to Ashwell. Sure, I chose to come after the fact, but still—
“You ready for this?” Lux nudges my shoulder, dragging me out of my own head.
“Not even a little. You?”
She gives me a small smile, the kind that doesn’t reach her eyes, as her name echoes through the room. I watch her weave through the desks and pull a token from the satchel.
“Zuri,” she announces, scanning the room.
Zuri rises, chin high and gray wings tucked in like she’s walking into battle. Not the warmest person I’ve met but solid. Dependable. They’ll balance each other well.
Professor Bale continues calling names, the shuffle of bodies and scrape of chairs filling the silence between each one. I let my gaze drift across the room until it lands on Jace. He’s sitting on the far side next to Killian of all people. I didn’t know they were close.
He catches me looking. I offer a smile.
His expression flattens into something cold and distant, eyes narrowing like I’m a stranger he’d rather forget. Then he looks away.
I deserve that.
But gods I hope we get paired together. Out there, Jace would make me feel safe. And two nights alone might be the only chance I have left to reach him and find my friend buried somewhere beneath all that ice and remind him that I’m still here.
That I’m sorry.
I’m so fucking sorry.
“Maelis Rose.”
My heart lurches into my throat because I know that voice, and it doesn’t belong to Professor Bale.
Draven stands at the front of the classroom, a token pinched between his fingers. My name. He drew my name.
What are the odds? What are the actual fucking odds?
Two nights in a fissure zone with the vampire who never misses an opportunity to remind me I don’t belong here.
Who pushes me until I break and then looks at me like he expected nothing less.
The last thing I need is him telling me I can’t cut it while we’re fighting for our lives.
On the positive side, now I can question him about being the prince, and if this is a secret he wants to keep, he’ll need to give me something in return.
I want to know what he and the headmaster are up to.
I rise from my seat, forcing my face into something neutral. I refuse to let him see me rattled. I meet him at the front and follow him to where the other pairs are waiting.
Ellavee ends up partnered with a shifter named Gray. I don’t know much about him, but she doesn’t seem upset about it, probably because he’s tall and attractive, which is usually all she requires of a man before she decides to play with him.
Jace and Killian are together, and I don’t like it. Killian has never been nice to me, and he and Jace have apparently decided they have something in common now, their mutual hatred for me. I try not to look at them.
“Emil will be threading most of you to your locations.” Professor Bale goes down the line, handing out envelopes and packs to each pair. “Open the envelope to see where you’re going and head to him when you’re ready.” So the silver-haired fae’s name is Emil.
Draven takes our pack and shoulders it then opens the envelope. I lean closer to see the map. It takes everything I have not to stare at the side of his face while he’s reading.
Draven Aldric, I think and then shove the thought down before it can reach my face. You don’t know I know.
Bale walks past us and glances at our map.
“Ah. You’re the only team that doesn’t need Emil’s services.” He gives Draven a short nod. “You can head out when you’re ready. Do try to stay warm.”
Great. We’re the only team staying in the Frostlands. I was hoping we’d be headed somewhere warm, or at least somewhere not covered in snow and ice.
“Let’s go,” Draven says quietly.
I follow him toward the courtyard, the line of other pairs still waiting for Emil stretching out behind us.
I glance back once. Ellavee is already talking to Gray while braiding her blonde hair to one side, her black and yellow snake Mr. Wiggles is twisting around her arm while she braids.
Leave it to Ellavee to name a scary looking serpent Mr. Wiggles and not give an explanation.
Lux catches my eye and waves, and I manage a smile for her that I hope looks like any other goodbye.
It isn’t, and she knows it, and her hand lingers in the air before she drops it.
Then I turn and follow the lost prince of Valen out into the snow.