Chapter 22 Is It Too Much?
Is It Too Much?
In the end, I sent the book up to his room, with a piece of parchment marking the chapter in question. I didn’t know what to write in a note, so after some back and forth in my mind, I only scribbled: Read this. Important! and left it at that.
I had one of the servants bring it up to him.
After that, I struggled to push everything out of my mind. I tried to think about Yule, about the dinner I was about to attend, about how I should leave Bones alone until he was ready to talk, and at least we’d both have time to think before that happened.
Until then, I had presents to wrap.
I had to make myself at least marginally presentable, too.
A few days before Yule had begun, I’d sent one of the Bones family drakai to Alaric with a note, asking him to send me a few things I’d bought over the past few months, all of which I’d left in my dorm room in Valarian when I came to the Tower.
I didn’t have everything I needed, of course.
I had to improvise a present for Varya, who hadn’t exactly been on my holiday shopping list prior to Bones nearly getting himself killed.
Even though I’d sent everything off to my other friends already, and technically had the right number of presents for our dinner tonight, I felt nervous about all of that now, and not only because I had no idea if they even exchanged presents in the Bones family.
Maybe that wasn’t something royals did.
I still hadn’t seen Bones himself, which made my anxiety worse.
I’d half-expected some form of contact from him after I sent up the book, but I hadn’t heard a word, not even in my mind, which is where I’d assumed he’d reach out to me if he wanted to talk.
He hadn’t wanted to, apparently.
Which is another reason I couldn’t help feeling painfully out of place as I descended the main staircase of the central building of the castle, wearing Varya’s moonstone dress.
I held up part of the filmy material, mostly to keep from tripping, and wished I’d done something more elegant with my hair.
I’d tried a few spells on it, enough to get the wavy and curly bits to hang right, and to give it a little shine, and some star-like sparkles.
But I hadn’t tried putting it up, and updos for formal events were considered fashionable in Magical England, just like they were in human England, and might have been more appropriate, given where I was.
Instead, worried I’d botch anything too fancy, given my general level of anxiety at the moment, I’d left my hair down.
Varya found me shoes to go with the dress, and left me a necklace on the dressing table in my room. The necklace looked like moonstones and diamonds, and glittered with a magical sheen. I’d gone back and forth on that, too, but finally wore it, if only to be polite.
I really hoped I’d run into Varya first.
I would feel significantly less awkward seeing Bones if I was with her, I decided.
That, versus me running into Bones by myself, wearing his mother’s dress and jewels, particularly after sending him that book, struck me as far preferable.
Bones would likely be dressed up, too. Not that I’d ever seen him wear anything but expensive clothing, apart from when we were sparring in the Experimental Magic Shed, or he was playing Skyhunt for the school, or, more recently, when he was naked.
In the end, it wasn’t Varya or Bones I saw first.
I got to the bottom of the stairs, turned the corner, and ran directly into Alaric.
He blinked and stared at me, and I blinked and stared at him.
Then he laughed, scooped me up in his arms, and gave me a spine-cracking hug. Only after he’d released me and stepped back did he really look me over.
“Isis’s sumptuous tit, Shadow,” he said admiringly, looking me over from Varya’s necklace to the silvery dress and all the way down to the heels. “You look like a sorceress come to beguile us all out of our minds and gold.”
I pushed at his chest with a hand and rolled my eyes.
“Ha ha,” I said, fighting the heat coming to my cheeks. “You’re lucky I’m vertical, frankly. All the fancy and the sparkly is Varya’s doing. It’s her dress, her jewelry, her very strong espresso keeping me upright––”
“What’s this, then? A private party in the foyer?”
I looked over and saw Bones standing there.
I could only stare at him at first, and not only because he was maybe the palest and most gaunt I’d ever seen him.
Despite the hollowing of his features, however, he’d definitely cleaned up.
His face was newly shaven. His hair looked like it had some kind of product in it, and he wore…
well, at least I no longer felt overdressed.
I wasn’t sure what the Magical equivalent of a tuxedo was, but I suspected I was probably looking at it.
The deep black jacket and trousers were definitely tailored to fit him, as was the black shirt he wore underneath.
Iridescent white threads decorated the jacket and the Mandarin-style collar of his black shirt.
The patterns were so thin and delicate it made them subtly elegant.
I saw a snake wrapped around each arm, and what looked like a skull symbol on each lapel.
His cufflinks were iridescent white skulls, too.
When they caught the light, and the threads too, it all looked the faintest bit violet.
We matched, I realized. He’d dressed to match me.
But of course that had to be Varya’s doing. She must have told him what to wear.
He walked closer, an intense look in his eyes.
He stepped past Alaric without looking at him, and walked directly up to me.
I fought to speak, maybe to explain what I was still doing there, or maybe some fumbling apology around why I’d sent up that book without anything like a proper warning, when I realized he’d offered me his arm.
His gold eyes met mine, and I couldn’t help noticing they matched strangely well with the iridescent moonstone on his suit, as did his hair.
“Shadow,” he said, bowing his head.
I smiled back, unable to help it.
“Bones,” I said formally back, bowing my own head.
“Are you going to take my arm, you difficult witch? Or not?” He glanced at Alaric only then. “Do you mind pissing off, Greythorne?”
I glanced at Alaric and saw him grinning at the two of us like a fool. I rolled my eyes, and slid my hand into the crook of Bones’s elbow.
Something about that much contact flared the magical connection back to life between us.
I wasn’t the only one to feel it.
I felt Bones hesitate, and nearly stumble.
I looked up in time to see him close his eyes, longer than a blink.
When he opened them next, he stared down at the dress, and I realized I hadn’t seen him look down at the rest of me until then.
His expression didn’t move, but I saw his eyes linger on the necklace I wore, then on my waist, all the way down my legs to my feet.
Unlike Alaric, his gaze lingered on those places, his face nearly blank.
Before I could decide what his stare meant, he leaned his mouth towards my ear.
“Are you all right?” he asked softly.
It wasn’t the question I’d expected.
For some reason, it brought at least some of my defenses crashing down.
To my horror, I felt my eyes stinging once that harder wall fell, and blinked rapidly before I made a fool of myself for real.
I ended up having to wipe my eyes anyway, and felt ridiculously grateful that I’d used magic on my makeup, not just my hair, and wouldn’t end up with raccoon eyes before we even made it to the dining room.
I nodded, and clutched his arm tighter.
“I’m fine,” I said.
Thank you for the book, he thought at me, soft.
I hesitated, looking up at him nervously.
Did you know? I asked, quieter.
His gold eyes tilted down, meeting mine. The gold-green flames were back, dancing in irises that looked at me with an emotion I couldn’t place.
“No,” he said simply. He gripped my hand on his arm tighter. He looked at me, and I was shocked to see grief in his eyes, even as his lips twitched. Are you going to run away from me, Leda? he asked. Is it too much?
I stared at him. Now that he’d voiced it, the question struck me as logical, at least from his point of view. I understood why he’d asked it, especially if he really hadn’t known what was wrong with him, and that book was the first thing he’d read that resonated.
I didn’t know how to tell him the possibility had never crossed my mind.
“No,” I said back.
He nodded, but I honestly couldn’t tell if he believed me.
The food was beyond anything I think I’d had anywhere, in Magique or on Earth.
I couldn’t identify all of it, but the meat tasted like perfectly grilled steak in a sauce that was faintly spicy but gravy-like, with a profusion of subtle flavors I could only guess at, but were absolutely delicious in combination.
Roasted vegetables worked their way in there somewhere, as did several types of bread and cheese, sautéed mushrooms, a meat pie, dumplings that tasted like cheese and spinach, fried vegetable things that reminded me of really good samosas, a fruit and greens salad, oysters, shrimp, grilled fish with a sweet and sour sauce that was to die for.
Every dish almost reminded me of something I knew, without actually being that thing, and yet somehow tasting far better than any version I remembered.
Varya obviously felt festive, because she opened at least six bottles of various alcohols, despite there being only four of us.
Alaric entertained us with trivial stories from around Malcroix, and informed us both that he’d been sleeping in Bones’s bed with my cat, and more or less told us we both had it coming since we’d left him there, practically for dead, for over two weeks.
Which made zero sense, of course, since I’d written him multiple times since I’d gotten to the Tower and he’d written me back, so I’d been quite aware of his state of relative aliveness.
By the end of the meal, I wondered if I’d be able to stand after all the alcohol and food.
I sat between Varya and Bones, with Alaric on Varya’s other side.
I don’t know if it was irritating Bones that Alaric kept touching his mother but I started to wonder if he was doing it deliberately to get a rise out of his friend.
Then, later, when he got increasingly drunk and only did it more, I began to wonder if he had a crush on her.
Not that I would blame him.
Varya looked absolutely stunning in a light gold dress that perfectly matched the color of her hair, which she wore up, in an unusual but elegant chignon.
A crescent of diamonds arranged on shaped waves of soft gold held the chignon in place, and she wore gold bands on her arms, and diamond and gold rings with diamond and gold dangle earrings.
Every part of her sparkled and caught the light, and she reminded me of movie stars from the Golden Age of Hollywood back on Earth, like Grace Kelly or Lana Turner.
I knew Magicals lived a lot longer than humans, and looked younger as a result, but it was strange to think this thirty-something-looking witch was Bones’s mother.
She could almost be the same age as we were.
I didn’t fully realize I was staring at her, watching her laugh at something Alaric just said, until Bones’s mind rose in mine.
Are you ever going to talk to me? he asked softly. Or just watch Greythorne flirt with my mother? Because I’m reasonably sure he’ll be doing that all night.
He paused when I flinched. He waited, then went on, softer.
Are you really angry with me, Shadow?
It was so soft, so quiet, I almost didn’t hear it.
I looked at him then, and his gold eyes were gauging mine cautiously.
Do I seem angry? I asked.
There was a silence where he continued to look at me, as if weighing the question.
You seem… quiet, he thought, still careful. Is it because of what I did, or is it the caelum ignis thing? He hesitated, still gauging my face. I want to talk to you, Leda. Can we talk somewhere? Later tonight?
About the caelum ignis thing? I clarified.
In part, yes.
But you think it might be right? I asked, still trying to understand what I saw in his eyes. You think that could be what you have?
There was a silence where he just looked at me blankly. Then his lip curled, and he let out a low scoff, his jaw hardening. His eyes grew distant as they stared down the length of the banquet table we only occupied one corner of.
Yes, he thought bluntly. I think it’s right. Don’t you?
I did. I wouldn’t have sent him the book if I didn’t.
Even so, I could tell Bones had interpreted the information differently than I had. I could feel it even before I saw that brighter fire swimming in his eyes.
His thoughts sharpened. I didn’t think you’d want me anywhere near you tonight. Frankly, I expected you to leave before dinner after reading that.
I frowned, staring at him. Is that what you wanted me to do?
Is that what I… He trailed, staring at me in exasperation mixed with disbelief. Did we read the same book, Shadow? About me going insane? About me turning into a murderous psychopath in a year or two?
Thinking about that, I frowned.
Slowly, I shook my head. No. I don’t think that’s right.
What do you mean, you don’t think it’s right?
It was right there. In black and white. His thoughts grew colder.
I guess I know now, why my father wanted control over my magic so badly.
He’s probably been positively slavering for years, getting periodic hard ons at the idea of his own little indiscriminate killing machine––
“I’m saying, I don’t think they’re right,” I said, my voice sharp. “I think they’re missing something. It’s one book, Bones.”
I didn’t fully realize I’d said it aloud until the table fell silent.
When I looked over at Alaric and Varya, feeling my face grow hot, Alaric winked at me, grinning cheekily.
Varya was looking meaningfully at her son, one eyebrow pointedly raised.
I picked up my wineglass compulsively and took a larger mouthful than I probably should have.
I swallowed it, choked slightly, and set it back down.
“Maybe we could talk in the other room?” Bones said, his voice formally polite.
My eyebrows rose.
I glanced at Alaric and Varya to see both of them watching us unapologetically. I definitely saw Varya aim a warning look at Bones a split second before she looked back at me, worry in her eyes.
Even so, I figured Bones was probably right.
We should at least try to clear the air before either of us drank any more. Talking about this at the table was definitely out of the question.
I stood up, looked at Varya, and smiled. “Excuse us for a few moments.”
“Of course.” She beamed at me. “We’ll be in the east sitting room when you’re ready.”
That time, I couldn’t miss the warning glare she aimed at her son.