Chapter 3 #2
While he negotiated with monsters, I taught myself how to swim in the cool, clear waters and tried to pretend those precious calm moments weren’t paid for in other people’s blood.
I clawed my way back to the present with help from the sharp, minty scent of the soap.
I scrubbed my hair and entire body twice, wincing at the disgusting color the water turned.
I worked quickly, unsure of how much time I had.
When I climbed out, I felt better simply being clean.
I wrapped myself in the towel and hesitantly looked at my reflection in the small round mirror hanging on the wall.
I grimaced. My face was thinner than I expected, and my normal tan from the desert sun had faded to a sickly pale, all my freckles standing out against my skin.
The angry red of the gash in my temple caught my attention, and I traced the thick scab before finally meeting my own gaze.
My green eyes stared back at me looking so damn empty.
I examined the gash on my shoulder, Trey’s neat stitches still in place. Thank the gods, it showed no sign of infection. I steeled myself and lowered the towel to reveal the brand on my chest.
It’d been over two weeks, but the sight of the inflamed, peeling skin still made my stomach churn.
I tried to block them out, but I couldn’t suppress the horrible memories of being pinned to the ground, screaming and begging as Juck approached with the glowing red metal fencing twisted into a rough J shape.
I would never forget the sound and the smell of the hot metal burning into my flesh.
Afterward, Juck had been overly attentive, like he wanted to earn my forgiveness.
Up until I repeatedly stabbed a knife into his chest.
You can’t change what’s past, so move on, Wolf rumbled.
My palms and knees looked a lot better. Only a few scabs remained, the rest nearly gone. The bruises on my arms and legs had faded to an ugly yellow. It seemed I was healing quickly. I tried not to think much about it.
I pulled on my clothes, including Clarity’s revealing shirt, then layered my flannel over it, buttoned up to my chin.
The worn shirt had a large rip in it from where the roofing had cut through me, but I could mend it.
I finger-combed my wet hair and left it down to dry.
The thick dark brown waves had grown long, reaching past my collarbone.
It looked so shiny. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been able to fully wash my hair.
“Bones?”
I jumped at Clarity’s voice.
“You doin’ okay?”
I opened the door and left the bathing room instead of answering. She smiled at me, scanning my clean appearance.
“Here, I found you some new socks.” She held them out.
“What do I owe you?” I asked.
She looked surprised. “Nothing.”
I narrowed my eyes, confused. “What?”
“You don’t owe me anything, Bones,” she said. “I was glad to help. Especially since you saved Trey’s life.”
I shifted, trying to make sense of it. Were we even now? I tried hard to avoid owing people anything.
“Okay.” I took the socks. They were knitted, clearly handmade. I pulled them on, then my worn boots.
“You think you can make it to the clinic okay?” she asked.
I wasn’t sure how far I’d have to go or what awaited me there, but I nodded. I knew I didn’t have a choice. No matter how nicely phrased, I never got an actual choice.
—
Clarity led me down the rickety stairs. I had to lean on the railing, but she waited for me. We passed numerous scantily dressed people. Most of them stared at me with bold curiosity. A few even smiled or winked, but behind their schooled expressions, their eyes looked about as empty as mine.
The main floor of the brothel dripped in garish luxury. Painted gold trinkets covered the walls and dusty fake plants filled the room. A few worn and stained plush rugs covered the creaky wood floor. Candles dripped wax onto every surface. More half-naked people lounged on faded couches.
“We don’t open for another hour,” Clarity said. “I’d let you stay longer, but I need to start getting ready.”
“It’s alright.”
Clarity led the way outside where Trey leaned against the building, frowning down at his feet. His head jerked up when he heard us approach and he straightened, his eyes widening at the sight of me. My face warmed under his scrutiny. Clarity startled me by grasping both my hands in hers.
“If you ever need anything, you know where to find me,” she said, low and serious.
I regretted meeting her gaze, which shimmered with the same gentleness as Trey’s. She squeezed my hands and then turned to Trey, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug that he returned. When she pulled away, she gave him a sweet smile.
“See you later, Trey. Glad you’re back.”
Trey’s answering smile looked tender and sad. Clarity hurried back into the brothel. I glanced at Trey, curiosity piquing despite my best efforts. Were they lovers? He watched Clarity vanish and sighed as the door shut behind her.
“How are you?” he asked.
I shrugged, lips pressed tight.
“You look nice.”
I glanced away. In the early-morning light, the hold bustled with activity.
A group of people, including several children who couldn’t have been older than eight, passed by wielding shovels and crude axes.
A few chickens darted through the dirt, chasing bugs and squawking.
We were surrounded by ramshackle structures, and most of the people looked tired, hungry, and dirty.
All the brothels I’d seen had been in the poor districts, and that seemed to be true here, too.
“Bones—” Trey started, but I cut him off.
“Where’s the clinic?” I asked.
He studied me and didn’t respond.
“Trey,” I snapped irritably. I was still weak and tired, and the air had warmed enough to make me sweat under my flannel. I didn’t want to stand here any longer than I had to.
“It’s on the other side of the hold,” he said finally. “It’s a long walk. You sure you can make it?”
I tried to choke down my annoyance. “I’ll be fine.”
Trey didn’t look convinced, but thankfully he led the way.
I trailed behind him. It wasn’t long before the whispers started, and I dropped my eyes to the heels of Trey’s boots.
I tried not to hear what they said, but I heard magic thrown out more than once.
Word had spread fast. I wasn’t used to so many people knowing what I could do.
I’d spent the last twelve years trying to be invisible, and the attention on me felt borderline painful.
The Vault was the largest hold I’d ever seen, and we hadn’t walked far before my legs started feeling dangerously shaky.
I forced myself to keep pace with Trey, stubbornly refusing to admit how difficult I found this trek.
Sweat trickled down my back as my breathing grew heavier.
Trey’s silhouette before me seemed to sway. I could do this. I—
“Bones!”
I cracked my eyes open, confused to see Trey leaning over me.
“Hey, it’s okay. You passed out.”
I ignored Trey’s offered hand and sat up from where I’d been lying in the dirt. Several people had stopped to stare, and I felt their gazes on me like unwanted hands.
“I’m fine,” I said, trying to push myself to my feet.
Trey grabbed my elbow, helping me stand, but he didn’t let go. I tried to jerk free, but his grip tightened.
“Bones, you passed out.”
I hated the concern on his face. “I’m fine.”
“I want to help. Will you let me help you?”
“I’ve had enough of your help,” I spat, and this time when I yanked away, he released me.
I started trudging forward again, hoping it was the right way. I still felt sick and dizzy.
“Why didn’t you take me to the clinic last night?” I asked.
Trey didn’t answer for a moment, and I almost turned to make sure he was following. “We figured you’d feel more comfortable if Clarity got you cleaned up. Rather than me and Mac.”
I didn’t know what made me more uncomfortable, knowing I’d been vulnerable in their presence or believing they hadn’t taken advantage.
Don’t trust ’em, Wolf snarled. You know better.
I stumbled, and Trey caught my elbow again.
“Don’t—” Bile surged up my throat. I twisted and retched, barely missing his boots.
Trey held me up and snapped an order at someone. After I finished heaving, he ducked his shoulder under my arm and half-carried me over to a spot of shade. He sat me down and crouched in front of me, pressing his palm against my forehead.
“Shit, you’re burning up again,” he muttered. “I’m sorry, Bones, but we gotta take this off.” His fingers hesitated on the top button of my flannel.
“No.” I gripped his wrist with my shaking hand.
“It’s really not that noticeable, you know,” Trey tried lightly.
“Don’t say that,” I mumbled as the world spun around me. “He’ll make it bigger.”
His face darkened. “He’s dead if he tries,” he said, quiet and hard as steel.
Red flashed across my vision. I panted, my fingers slippery with blood. Juck’s empty eyes stared at me as I pulled the knife out of his chest with a sickening squelch.
“He’s already dead,” I said. “He’s not tryin’ anything anymore.”
Trey pulled my arms out of the thick sleeves. I blinked, wondering when he’d undone the buttons.
“Bones, can you get on the horse?”
I squinted at him, disoriented. Sure enough, behind him a horse snorted out a breath and tossed its head.
“You get on, and I’ll pass her up to you,” someone said.
I watched Trey pull himself easily up onto the horse’s back, impressed with the graceful movement. Then strong hands seized my upper arms, pulling me to my feet, and I panicked, flailing.
“If you give me a bloody lip again, I will drop you on your skinny ass.”
When I met Griz’s eyes, a stupid part of me relaxed. Despite his gruff, annoyed tone, Griz crouched, gently swept an arm under my knees, and lifted me up.