Chapter 14
The next morning, the door opened, and Zip’s massive form filled the doorway.
“Hey, Bones!” he boomed, and the kids in the loft vanished out of sight. “You feelin’ better?”
Unease surged, my mind attempting to piece together how he wanted me to respond.
Trey and Sam bristled by the exam table, but thank the gods, they didn’t say anything.
It took more effort than I expected to approach Zip.
He pulled me into a kiss, and the coiled aggression beneath it made me go very, very still.
“Yeah, I am,” I answered, hoping I sounded steady.
“You up for Mootzie’s tonight?” His hands traveled down from my waist to my hips.
“Sure.” I tried to muster a smile and failed.
“Pick you up after the dinner bell, then.” It sounded more like a threat than a promise, and he kissed me again, all rough beard and teeth, his hands gripping my ass. When he pulled back, he gave me a look that made my stomach churn with dread.
After he left, the silence felt heavy with judgment. I moved awkwardly back to the sink, where I’d been washing some tools, avoiding Trey’s and Sam’s gazes.
“You still with Zip, then?” Sam asked, a sharp edge to his voice.
I shrugged, distracted by the anxiety coursing through me.
“If you’re into the big burly look, you could at least go with Griz,” Sam muttered, and my face warmed.
Trey stayed quiet and, after a few minutes, he strode outside. Sam followed him, casting heavy glances my way. The pit of dread in my stomach grew harder to ignore.
The day flew by, and soon the dinner bell rang.
Zip showed up minutes later, and I had to force myself not to smack him away when he grabbed my hand.
Most of the snow had melted, leaving a few large piles from where it’d been shoveled out of the paths.
Someone had sprinkled woodchips on the path in an attempt to combat the mud.
Zip towed me along in silence, and I retreated into myself like a dog following a familiar path home. Then I realized where we were heading.
I stopped. “Why are we goin’ to your place?”
His eyes darkened, sending a familiar chill down my spine. “Thought we could have some fun first.”
My heart started beating faster. No way in hell was I having sex with him while both of us were sober. “I want to go to Mootzie’s first.”
He grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “C’mon, baby. I missed you.”
Fuck. I had not missed this balancing act.
“I had a long day.” I gave him my best pleading look. “I need a drink.”
His grin vanished, and my heart leapt into my throat.
“You still my girl, Bones?” he finally asked.
“Yes, but your girl needs a drink.”
“You know, I thought you’d come see me.” He tugged me closer, trapping me against him.
I tried to keep my voice light, but my temper rose. “When?”
Careful, Wolf warned.
He bared his teeth at my tone. “I’ve been back for almost two months.”
“I was a little busy,” I said sharply, “tryin’ to make sure the whole hold didn’t fuckin’ die.”
Control your temper! Wolf barked.
Zip lowered his head to kiss me, but I jerked my head back. Rage twisted his expression. “You wanna play games?”
“No, I want to go to Mootzie’s, have a drink, and go back to your place later.”
“I fuckin’ waited for you. I didn’t even visit the brothel. And this is the thanks I get?”
“I never asked you to do that.”
Something ugly flashed across his face. “What does that mean? You been sleepin’ around?”
“When the fuck would I have time to sleep around?” I snapped. “I was practically killin’ myself trying to heal everybody!”
His grip tightened on my upper arms, fingers digging into my skin.
“You’re hurting me.” I softened my voice to a plea. “Let go.”
“Good,” he sneered, “ ’cause I want you to pay attention.”
“Zip, stop.” I tried to wrench free.
“I told you from the beginning. I don’t share.”
“I haven’t been with anyone!”
“I think you’re lyin’,” he said with a snarl, and my stomach dropped.
“Zip—” I jerked hard, but he still didn’t let go.
“You know, I saw you the other night. Sneakin’ back into the hold with Trey. You two looked awful cozy together on that horse. You’ve been fuckin’ him, haven’t you—”
“Let Bones go!” a little voice rang out.
Apple stood in the path, her little hands balled into fists as she glared up at Zip, who stared down at her, seemingly shocked into silence.
“Apple, I’m fine,” I insisted, adrenaline surging. “Go back to the clinic.”
“She doesn’t want to go with you,” Apple said, ignoring me.
Zip started laughing, gripping me harder. “You got a little army of brats now?”
“They work for me. Madame approved it.”
Zip turned his gaze back on Apple. “Get outta the way, girl.”
“No,” Apple spat.
“Apple!” I snapped, heart pounding. “Go home.”
“Let her go,” she repeated, her chin tilting up.
Gods, I had no idea how to de-escalate this situation. I could probably get myself out of this, but not both of us. Didn’t Apple fucking know better?
Before I could act, Zip released me and moved, and the sound of him backhanding Apple across the face echoed like a gunshot. She went sprawling into the mud as I froze in horror.
“You need to mind your place, girl,” Zip growled.
Apple scrambled to her feet, looking furious as her cheek turned bright red.
“Apple, go home,” I heard myself say, terror over what Zip could do next crackling through me. “Right now, or you’re losing your place in the clinic.”
Pain and betrayal filled those blue eyes.
I knew it wasn’t so much over getting hit as it was my speaking to her like that.
My chest ached at her expression, but I would rather she hate me than get killed by Zip.
Tears spilled down her cheeks as she turned and took off.
Relief surged through me but faded to white-hot shame.
I should have protected her, and instead, I fucking stood there when Zip hit her.
Zip stepped into my space, grabbed my braid with his free hand, and wrapped it around his fist. My stomach dropped.
“I know I saw you and Trey the other night,” he said in a low voice that scared me more than his yelling. “You little slut.”
“You’re even dumber than you look—”
He pressed his lips against mine. I couldn’t pull free from his tight hold on my hair. Enraged, my fists pounded against his chest, but he didn’t even flinch. He kissed me roughly, and I flashed back to Pike pinning me down in the clinic. I used the same move and bit his lip as hard as I could.
He tore free, swearing. Bright red blood dripped into his beard, and his fist connected with the side of my face.
I hit the ground hard enough that everything went dark and fuzzy for a beat.
I fumbled to pull my little knife out of my boot, gripping it hard so I didn’t drop it.
When I managed to focus on the world again, I blinked in confusion at the body standing between me and Zip.
“Touch her again, and I’ll put a bullet between your eyes,” Trey said in a dark voice I’d never heard him use before.
A long, charged silence fell. Part of me wanted to burst into tears at the fact he was protecting me again.
He’d promised to be my backup all those months ago, and he’d done it again and again.
I could protect myself. I’d been fully prepared to stab Zip if it came to that, but I was so relieved it didn’t.
The other part of me wanted to scream at Trey to run. I doubted Zip would forget this, and I didn’t want Trey to get hurt. Plus, I didn’t deserve his protection. Not after I watched Apple get hit and didn’t do a damn thing to stop it.
“Whatever. I don’t fuckin’ need this,” Zip growled, and he turned to stride toward Mootzie’s.
I pulled myself shakily up to my feet and brushed wet, muddy wood chips from my clothes. Trey glanced at me, but his gun remained drawn and pointed at Zip’s retreating back.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice strained.
“I’m fine. Thanks,” I muttered, feeling a confusing mix of humiliation, gratitude, shame, and that warmth blooming in my chest again. I tenderly prodded my swelling cheek.
Zip disappeared between the ramshackle homes, and Trey holstered his gun. He studied me for a moment before sighing.
“C’mon,” he said, stepping in the direction of the clinic.
I needed…I needed to think. Or maybe not think? I had to get my head on straight, and I needed space to do it. I couldn’t go back to the clinic with Trey, and I couldn’t face Apple right now.
When I didn’t move, Trey asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I’m going to Hydro.” I turned to head toward the other dive on the east side of the hold.
“Why?” Trey asked, walking next to me.
“Go make sure Apple’s okay,” I said instead of answering.
“Bones—”
“Trey, I want to be alone. Please leave.”
He didn’t try to hide the hurt on his face, but I strode away, pausing only to scoop up a mostly clean handful of snow from one of the remaining piles to hold against my face.
I felt like absolute shit treating him like that, but gods, I was terrified.
My feelings toward Trey were too strong to rip out now, rooted deep in my chest. I no longer had Zip to use as a shield.
I couldn’t rely on him getting jealous and pushing people away for me, and worse, I felt so godsdamned relieved.
I swore under my breath. I was so fucked.
Maybe it was the coward’s way out, but I fully planned on seeing if I could drown these emotions in moonshine.
—
Madame’s guards made up the majority of the clientele at Hydro.
The door opened smoothly, unlike Mootzie’s half-broken hinges.
The stools didn’t wobble, either, and the bar counter looked like it’d actually been cleaned in the past month.
I chugged my first drink. The bartender gave me a look, but didn’t comment as he refilled my glass.