Chapter 20 #2
His fingers curled inside me and I swore to the gods, I saw stars.
My muscles clenched, my legs shook, and the pleasure that rushed through me felt like nothing I’d ever experienced before.
I babbled his name, clutching his shirt in both fists.
When the wave of pleasure faded, I felt boneless, like a rag that’d been wrung out.
He withdrew his hands, and I looked up at him as I caught my breath to see him grinning.
“Your eyes were glowing,” he said smugly.
I stared at him, certain I’d heard him wrong. “Glowing?” I asked.
“Glowing,” he repeated. “They looked like liquid gold.”
I gaped in astonishment. That had never happened before, but I’d certainly felt like liquid gold. His grin widened at my expression.
“Well, that’s new,” I said.
He looked so pleased with himself that I started giggling, still reeling from the heady pleasure that had coursed through me. Pure delight lit up his eyes.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of hearin’ you laugh.” He met my gaze, and his grew dark with desire again. “Or hearin’ you say my name like that when I’m touchin’ you.”
I had to force myself to breathe evenly. His smug smile reappeared as if he knew exactly how his words affected me, and he ducked his head to kiss me.
“Consider that a warm-up for later,” he murmured against my lips.
I blinked and asked, “Isn’t it my turn now?”
“Now it’s time to sleep. You’ll have to wait.”
I glared at him, but uncertainty slid through me. “You don’t feel…frustrated?”
His smug expression melted into his sweet smile. “No, darlin’.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “That was all for you.”
I curled into him, my head on his shoulder, as he pulled me close. I’d never met anyone like Trey. I still didn’t understand why he loved me, but gods, I knew it.
Tell him.
I wasn’t sure if that soft voice in my head meant to tell him my real name or that I loved him too, but either way, I pressed my lips together and tried not to feel like a damn coward. I just needed a little more time.
—
“Bones, darlin’, wake up. You’re dreamin’.”
I was sitting straight up, half out of the bedroll, terror tensing every muscle in my body. Trey sat next to me, not touching me, but speaking in a low, gentle voice. Night had fallen. I focused on him in the light of the campfire, trying to calm the raging panic in my chest.
“Sorry,” I got out between gulps of air.
“S’okay,” Trey murmured. “Can I touch you?”
I nodded, confused. He caught my hand, squeezing it tight, and tugged me closer.
“You were talkin’ about a wolf,” he explained.
I stiffened in fear, and his eyes narrowed on my face. For a long moment, neither of us spoke.
“Bones,” he whispered, slipping his arms around me, “please let me in.”
I remained silent for several breaths, but as his warmth seeped into me, my body slowly relaxed and melted into his. I needed to open up. I wanted to, even as my hands started trembling.
“Not a wolf,” I said before I lost my nerve. “Wolf. My oldest brother.”
He paused. “Who’s Dune?” he finally asked.
My shoulders drew in, but to my shock, I heard myself say, “My other older brother.”
“What happened to them?”
I squeezed my eyes shut, tears burning my throat. “I killed Dune.”
In the silence, his fingers found my chin and he tilted my head up. Compassion and kindness shone in his eyes.
“Tell me about it?” he asked.
The words begged to be released—the secret I’d never told a soul.
“Dune was a couple years older than me, and he was the only one who knew what I could do,” I finally whispered.
“He was trying to help me get better at healing. He’d bring me injured animals and he came to me whenever he had a scrape or cut.
But he wanted me to push myself and I was too scared.
Sometimes…the animals that were really hurt still died.
And I didn’t want to…” I forced air into my lungs, my gaze dropping to his chest, afraid of what I might see in his eyes.
“So one day we were arguin’ about it and he got so angry.
And…” I had to stop and breathe for a moment.
“I know it sounds crazy, but he stabbed himself in the gut. I tried to stop him, but he…he did it, and then, when I tried to heal him…” It got harder to push the words out, my throat tightening.
“I don’t know what happened. It was like something went wrong and my powers hurt him instead of healing him.
He started screaming like I was torturing him and the bleeding wouldn’t stop, and then… then he died.”
In the silence, I didn’t dare look at his face. Maybe he’d change his mind. Maybe he’d decide to leave. What kind of person killed their own brother? Maybe he didn’t believe Dune had done it himself. Wolf sure as hell didn’t. No one in their right mind would stab themself—
“Bones.” Trey’s voice sounded so gentle, and suddenly I was more afraid of his forgiveness than I was of him pushing me away.
“No.” I squeezed my eyes shut again. “Don’t. I killed him.”
“Sounds like you tried to heal him to me,” Trey said, his warm hands on my face.
I could see Dune’s sandy blond hair blowing around his face in the hot summer breeze, the weird determined gleam in his blue eyes, and the flash of the knife.
I could smell the blood that dribbled out between his hands.
I could hear his screams of pain when my healing power flowed into him, my desperate cries for help, and then Dune’s pleas for me to stop, but I couldn’t stop because he was dying and I knew if I didn’t heal him with my power, he’d die.
I could see Wolf’s expression when he found us, the rage on his face when Dune cried his name, his horror at the blood and the knife, and the way he looked at me like I was a monster as he tried to stop the bleeding.
Then Dune gave an awful shudder and went still, and the silence was worse.
I stared numbly at his empty eyes, convinced at any moment he would blink and laugh at me for being so scared.