4. Sounds of Silence
CHAPTER FOUR
SOUNDS OF SILENCE
DEKE
I couldn’t believe it.
I couldn’t fucking believe it.
I’d just gotten home from work and stepped out of my truck when I felt it.
Felt her .
My one.
My brain directed me into the woods around my cabin, and I’d thought the centuries of torture had finally broken me.
It wouldn’t have been the first time I lived in the woods.
I’d been tempted to teleport to where I felt the pull, but it’d been decades—maybe longer—since I’d used that skill. Hell, other than one time a handful of years ago, I hadn’t used any magicks that didn’t happen reflexively. It would be hard to explain if I materialized right in front of her. Or I might’ve fucked up and landed states away, missing my opportunity. I’d been unwilling to risk it.
After an hour of hiking, I’d wondered if it’d all been in my head. If I’d finally lost it. I would’ve kept going anyway. I wouldn’t have stopped until I’d been over those woods a million times. But it hadn’t come to that. I’d found her.
Mine .
I hadn’t meant to make the insane declaration, and I had no clue how to explain it away, so I didn’t try. I kept hold of her arm as I lifted to a crouch. “You okay?”
Silence.
Fuck .
I hurt her.
“Shouldn’t have tackled you, but I tried calling out,” I said like that meant shit all to her. “You were running straight for the creek.”
More silence.
“Where are you hurt?”
Nothing.
“I can’t see shit out here, and I left my phone in my truck. You got one?”
I was pretty sure she shook her head, and my gut clenched.
“What the hell are you doing hiking with no phone?” I bit out before wanting to kick my own ass.
The woman shuffled back, letting out a small whimper when I kept my grip on her.
“Swear to God, I’m not gonna hurt you.”
I’d rather cut off my left nut and present it to you.
I kept that thought to myself. “What’s your name?”
No answer, not that I blamed her.
Stranger danger and all that shit.
“I’m Deacon,” I told her, “but everyone calls me Deke.”
Still nothing.
“Where are you going?” At her continued silence, I tried for reassurances that likely would’ve gone a fuckuva lot farther if we weren’t alone in the dark woods. Or if I hadn’t just tackled her. “I only want to help. Swear it.”
Nada.
“Do you speak English?” If she didn’t, chances were I was passably fluent in whatever language she did speak.
I’d had a lot of time to pick most of them up.
She didn’t answer.
“Do you speak at all?”
She opened her mouth before closing it and shaking her head.
I’d met a lot of people during my time on Earth. Too many. She wasn’t the first person I’d met with some form of muteness. Hell, I could go weeks without speaking to another person. I preferred it—and that included people I knew.
I was a stranger.
I wanted to question her further about the cause, but she had no way to tell me. And as far as she knew, it wasn’t my business.
“I need to get you somewhere safe.” Her skin was freezing under my hand, and I could feel the hard shivers that rocked her body. “And warm. Your car on the main road?”
She shook her head.
I scanned the woods around us. There weren’t any marked trails, but there were a few worn paths near the border that ambitious hikers tried. They all ended after less than a half mile once it became clear that the terrain wasn’t safe.
How’d this tiny woman get so far and so turned around?
“Where’d you park?”
Back to no answer.
“Let me help you up.”
She didn’t fight me as I tugged her to her feet and guided her carefully around the creek and out to a grassy patch with fewer trees.
The sun had long ago set, but the moon shone bright enough to give us a little light.
For the love of angels, fuck.
Fucking shit fuck.
I ran my gaze down the tiny woman again, not believing what I saw. She wasn’t geared up in the hiking boots, thick socks, and warm clothes a trek in the uncharted environment called for. She wasn’t even wearing a thin and useless outfit that would be better suited for a workout in a warm gym.
She was in a dress. It had long sleeves and hung almost to her ankles, but still.
A damn dress .
“What’re you doing out here?” My muttered question was more to myself than her, which was good since I wasn’t getting an answer.
I ran my free hand down my face to my beard as I tried to figure out what the hell to do.
As far as I was concerned, there was only one option, but even I knew it would sound batshit crazy.
With no other choice, I reluctantly released my hold and took half a step back. I’d intended for it to be a larger one, but my body fought against the small amount I’d managed. “My house is a good trek from here, but it’s closer than the road.” Before she could get spooked, I rushed on. “You don’t have to come in. Like I said, my phone is in my truck. You can use it to call someone. Hell, you can take my truck. Keys are still in the cup holder.”
I’m rambling like I’m unhinged.
Christ, I’m nervous.
When was the last time that happened?
I had no idea. What I did know was I needed to get my shit together before she took off again. Because fucked as it was, there was no way I’d let her run from me.
Not when I’d spent centuries waiting for her.
Her brows shot up at my insane offer before she looked off to the side. She stayed like that for a moment, likely trying to decide whether she should risk it with the bugs and wild animals.
A hard tremble went through her, and I wanted to kick my ass twice as hard.
I’m a dumbass.
Taking off my work jacket, I held it out to her, but she didn’t make any moves to take it. She didn’t even glance at it.
“It’s worn out, but it’s warmer than nothing.” I stepped close enough to drape it over her, and she jumped a mile, letting out a choked yelp like I’d startled her. I snatched my hand away and took a few big steps back. “Shit, sorry.”
She shook her head, but with the distance, I couldn’t see her expression. It was probably for the best because if I saw her fear, I’d get it, but it would still gut me.
“You want, I’ll follow you until you get to your car,” I offered before adding, “ far behind you. I just want to be sure you get there safely.”
And I’ll use that time to work out how to get you to see me again.
When the silence stretched, I tapped my chest. “Inside pocket of that coat. There’s a pocketknife. Carry it.” An image of her tripping sent panic through me. “Just walk carefully.”
She hesitated before shaking her head.
“Can’t let you go alone,” I said firmly.
She shook her head again.
I wasn’t sure what she wanted or what to ask to figure it out.
She let out a little growl that would’ve been cute as fuck had she not paired it with yanking at her long hair.
“Hey, whoa.” I closed the space between us to grip her wrists and pry her hands away. “Gimme a second, I’m slow on the uptake but stubborn. I’ll get there. Want me to walk with you?”
She shook her head before pointing over my shoulder with one of the hands I still held, but she didn’t try to get away from me.
I didn’t feel whole. I’d spent my entire existence as half a man with half a soul, and years as even less. I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel completely full again.
But at that small—and probably meaningless—gesture, I was closer than I ever expected to get.
Pushing down how good and fucking right it felt, I got back to trying to read her expression before the clouds shifted, and we lost the little light we had.
All the times I stayed in the darkness, and now I’d kill for a flashlight.
Hell, I’d take a birthday candle if it meant seeing her better.
“Is your car that way?” At her headshake, I asked, “Your house?”
Another negative. She pointed at me and then over my shoulder again.
“My place?”
That got a nod.
“Okay, my place.” I released her wrists. “Follow close, okay?”
Rather than another nod, she nudged me forward.
The first half mile was uneventful other than the few times I slowed too much for her liking, and she would nudge me again. After that, though, shit went downhill.
Literally.
The ground sloped, the brush and trees growing thicker until there was barely any space to navigate. I did what I could to clear the way for her, but she slipped and slammed into my back.
“You’re good,” I said when she made a distressed sound. I stayed in place until she got her bearings and inched back.
By the third time, she stopped putting that distance between us. She reached out and gripped the sides of my shirt, keeping hold as we walked.
If I were smart, I’d have taken that win.
But I was a selfish bastard. I couldn’t stop myself from pushing.
Pausing, I turned even though we couldn’t see each other in that level of darkness. She dropped her hold.
I wanted it back.
“This part of the terrain gets rough,” I told her honestly. “We can keep going like this, but it’ll take a while. It’ll go faster if you let me carry you.” It would go even faster if I could teleport us, but something like that might be a bit hard to explain. Especially if it didn’t work. “Already told you I won’t hurt you. Also won’t take it personally if you keep the pocketknife in your hand.” Panic hit, and I amended, “But only if you aim it at me, not near yourself. If you’d rather walk, we’ll have to slow down so you don’t trip and break your ankle or arm or neck or?—”
She grabbed my wrists the same way I’d grabbed hers earlier. She put them to her head so I could feel her shake her head.
“No about slowing down?”
She shook her head.
“We can’t go too?—”
She shook it faster.
“You’ll let me carry you?”
She hesitated before nodding.
Not giving her the chance to change her mind, I lifted her into my hold with no effort.
Feed her.
She’s starving.
She’s empty .
Feeling balance and fullness—or a lack thereof—was the only magicks I used, and that wasn’t by choice. I didn’t channel it. It was innate, as natural as breathing.
I ignored the compulsion as I situated her in my hold. If she was upright with her legs wrapped around me, I could’ve held her with one arm while keeping the other free to clear the stretching branches. But I wasn’t stupid enough to risk that level of closeness. Not when the faded nothing that was my soul already slammed against my rib cage like they were prison bars, screaming at me to tell her again that she’s mine.
I did the smart thing and cradled her in both arms—and that still pushed it.
“I meant it about the pocketknife,” I said when she remained tense.
She let out a soft noise that almost sounded like a laugh, and her body loosened.
It took a while since I wasn’t going full speed, but I went a helluva lot faster with her in my arms than we could’ve with her walking. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t speak the entire trek.
Did she fall asleep?
The overgrowth started to thin until the tree line came into view, and I had my answer.
She was awake. I knew because her entire body went so tight, she began to tremble.
“Hey, hey, it’s fine. I’ll wait here. Use my phone. Take my truck. Whatever you need.” I tried to lower her to the ground, but she clutched my shirt and scrambled closer.
I didn’t get it, but I still liked it.
She kept her tight grip on me as I walked us from the woods to the acreage at the back of my property. Not wanting her to fear I would force her inside, I kept my distance from the cabin and stayed along the perimeter until we were near the long driveway. It was the right choice because each step I took to follow it toward my cabin seemed to make her tenser.
“It’ll be okay,” I said. I wasn’t sure who I was trying to reassure—her or me. I couldn’t hold her hostage, but everything in my body said not to let her go.
When my truck came into view, I set her on her feet. I figured she’d race past me to it, but she didn’t. She dodged behind me, clutching at my shirt like she worried a moose, a bear, and Bigfoot would team up to attack at any moment.
“Go ahead,” I prompted.
She didn’t move.
I continued walking, and she shuffled after me while keeping her hold. When I reached my truck, I grabbed my cell from inside and offered it behind me.
She didn’t take it.
Turning around, I saw her for the first time in the light and was hit by a damn Mack truck—right in my chest, gut, and dick.
Sweaty and disheveled, she was still the most beautiful anything—woman, angel, demon—I’d ever seen. Wild golden hair surrounded a gorgeous but injured face. Her full lips were swollen and split, matching the bruises and scrapes on her cheek.
It took everything to keep my voice even. “Christ, how bad did I hurt you when I tackled you?”
Her already big brown eyes got huge as she frantically shook her head. Using her index and middle finger, she mimed them running and falling.
“All that was from falling?”
She pointed at the trees and mimed hitting them.
Her hand motions gave me an idea, and I did a few basic signs as I asked, “Do you use sign language?”
Another headshake.
Damn.
I handed her the phone, and she took it but didn’t use it. Her wide eyes stayed locked on me.
I’d never seen her before. I had no reason to think it. But something was off when I studied her. It wasn’t fake.
Not like with Marissa—or whatever her name had actually been.
I had no clue how to describe it other than…
Off .
Like a barrier. A mask. Something.
It wasn’t exactly a shock. I was a stranger. She was smart to keep her guard up. My body, mind, and soul didn’t show the same restraint. The longer we stared at each other, the louder my need became.
Keep her.
Don’t let her go.
Keep her safe .
Safe?
Fuck…