17. Undo
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
UNDO
DEKE
F uck.
Fucking hell fuck .
Like she hadn’t meant to blurt any of that, her brows shot up her forehead, and her lips parted before pressing together like it would somehow get the words back in.
I reached for her, but she dodged me as she rocketed to her feet. She took advantage of my outstretched hand and quickly pinched it before my fingers could grasp her.
“Sorry, excuse me. I need to take Victoria out. Thanks for the drink and… sorry. So, so sorry.”
I hadn’t noticed the dog had returned to comfort her until she bent to pick her up before rushing from the room. I wanted to follow. I tried to follow. But I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.
The front door slammed. Mental brick by brick, I could feel her try to build her walls. Not to keep everyone out but to block herself off.
That’s why I couldn’t teleport to her.
Her dark emotions stayed, and the seconds dragged before I could move again. Go to her. Help her.
Nate grabbed my arm as I passed, halting my progress.
“Let me go, brother,” I bit out, trying to dislodge my arm from his tight grip.
“Give her a minute.”
“That’s easy for you to fucking say. Your mate is sitting on your damn lap not running down the street to get the hell away from you.”
I knew my point was made when his other arm wrapped around Denny’s waist, but he still didn’t release me.
“She’s not bolting,” Juno said from right beside me, her focus and her magicks aimed out the window. A thin layer of red gauzy smoke stretched out to hover near the banisters, ready and waiting. “Did you know she could talk?”
As badly as I wanted to get out there to Aurora, if there was a chance my siblings had insight, I needed it. Then more than before.
And I’d already really fucking needed it before.
Knowing that Juno’s magicks would stop her from fleeing and protect her, I lifted my chin. “Don’t know the specifics. She went a week without saying anything. Not a single word, even when she was clearly frustrated about it. She finally spoke a couple of days ago.”
“She must’ve realized she could trust you,” Lilith said, her voice wistful like it was something romantic.
“She saw you in the yard, thought we’d disappeared to hook up, and spoke to insult me and insinuate I was a minute-man.”
Juno shrugged but didn’t look away from the window. “So she has realistic expectations.”
“It wasn’t just Lilith. Somehow, she knew about Juno and Denny being in the kitchen, too. But not Lennon, Nate, or Stellan.”
“The mate bond?” Stellan suggested.
“It is stronger and more intuitive than what I’d ever imagined,” Juno agreed. “The longer we’re together, the more it develops.”
“Like being able to talk in each other’s heads.”
I ignored the way my sister’s face flushed at her mate’s words and asked, “I thought only The Four could do that?”
“Nope. We can all communicate like that, though brain-to-brain signal can be spotty.”
I tried talking to Aurora that way. “Baby, are you okay?”
Nothing happened. Not that she was ignoring me. My message didn’t go through.
Maybe because we’re not fully bonded.
Juno glanced away from the window just long enough to skewer me with a look. “When’s the last time you let your magicks out to stretch?”
I had to think. Not since Marissa, and that had barely been anything.
“I teleported here,” I reminded her.
“Pfft. That’s like saying you counted to one. I mean really stretch and flex.”
“My gardens. The ink I use for my tattoos.”
“Counted to three. Great. Child’s play. But I do want the recipe for that ink.” She gestured to the side of her eye. “I’m thinking a face tattoo like Tyson.”
“No,” Stellan called, but she just made a fart noise at him.
“I can still feel people’s balance and fullness,” I added to my pathetic list.
“Does it take any effort?” she asked.
“To block it out.” But even that was minimal effort since I’d been doing it for so long.
“No wonder you’re all pent-up with magicks blue balls.”
Magicks was rare. Protected. Two of the most powerful beings could be right next to each other, and they would never know they shared that commonality. The Four were different from any other magicks-wielding beings. We could see each other’s magicks in use—and Juno had always been more skilled—but she shouldn’t have had a clue what was happening inside me.
But Aurora and the other human mates also shouldn’t have been able to see Juno’s red tendrils of magicks, so most of the shit I thought I knew was already out the window.
“How do you know?” Doubt and unease prickled at the back of my neck, making the hair there stand. I never used my magicks because there was no reason to rush any processes.
I had all the time in the damn world to do it the long way.
After ages of neglect, I’d stopped feeling it swell inside me. I no longer felt a connection to the deep well of it. I wasn’t sure if it was still there or if I could tap into it.
“It’s radiating from you. I’m surprised everything you touch doesn’t automatically come to life from the excess and do a little jig.”
I glanced down at Nate, but he just shrugged, not seeing whatever she did.
That means it’s there, at least.
“Not to mention, no one is this uptight if they’re getting a release.” She tilted her head back and forth. “Magicks. The other kind. Whatever.”
I didn’t have a response to that since I wasn’t about to admit she was right. Instead, I shared the reason I’d come there in the first place. “Aurora’s not happy about being my mate.”
“It’s a lot to take in,” Lilith said. “I had previous, uh, knowledge of fate and magicks, and I still struggled. She might just be in shock.”
“I got drunk,” Denny tossed in.
Stellan’s expression was still tight with rage. “I saw Juno heal herself after getting shot and thought she was an X-Men.”
“You also yelled at me,” Juno said with a sad pout.
“Which I apologized for. Repeatedly, that night alone.”
She smirked.
And I fought the urge to dry heave all over their happiness.
“I told her two days ago,” I shared instead. “She burst into tears, and then went back to silence.”
Nate opened his mouth, but I cut him off with a Mabel saying.
“If you’re gonna offer bullshit platitudes to try to spin this, can you at least put water in so I can do laundry?”
He closed his mouth again.
“You’re snarkier than I remember,” Juno said with a joyful laugh. “I like it. You’re now my favorite sibling.”
“An honor,” I deadpanned. “I need to get my mate home.”
“You can stay here,” Denny offered. “We have extra room.”
“No—”
“Maine is too far to transport back and forth,” Nate interrupted. “What if something happens, and you’ve expended your magicks just to get here? Or you aren’t able to get here at all? Absolve won’t sit around and wait for you to take a road trip.”
Leave it to him to bluntly lay out my own hidden fears.
“There’s a vacant apartment in the building I own in town. We’re going to stay there.”
“That’ll work.”
“Better than sharing a house and him getting another glimpse of your ass,” Lennon said.
“Don’t be a hater because you’re a beanpole, and I’m thick with three Cs.”
“Okay, that’s it.” Juno held out her hand. “Fork over your phone. I’m blocking that damn app myself.”
“No.”
“This is why Deke is now the favorite.”
“Was I not even in contention?” Lennon asked.
Another wave of sadness crashed over me, and I rushed from the house without another word, leaving them to squabble. Bypassing the steps completely, I jumped from the porch and didn’t stop until I reached where Aurora sat in the grass. Her back was to me, and her body was curled protectively around Victoria. I crouched behind her, and the little dog let out a fierce growl until she saw it was just me.
“Why can’t I do it?” Aurora cried, burying her face in Victoria’s fur.
I rubbed my hand down her back. “Do what, baby?”
“Turn it off. Everything is so strong. So powerful. It was never like this before, and it hurts . I don’t want to feel these emotions. This curse.”
Her words were like a cannonball to the gut. I rocked back and lost my balance, falling to my ass.
“My one.” It came out a tortured whisper as my heart shattered in my damn chest. Eviscerated me from the inside out. Guilt—far worse than the already heavy amount I felt toward my siblings—ate at me. It gutted me to do it. Fucking killed. I’d take a million battles over what I was suggesting, but I forced the offer out even though it felt like swallowing shards of glass mixed with rock salt. “I’ll talk to the others. See if there is a way to undo it. Unmate our souls.”
“No. No, it’s not… I don’t want to feel my curse.”
“I don’t get what you’re saying,” I told her honestly. “What curse?”
She opened her mouth and then closed it. Glancing to the window, she lowered her head to snuggle Victoria. “Take me home, please.”
She was asking me to carve my chest open with a dull, rusty spoon and tear my heart free to leave it behind, but I would still do it.
I would sacrifice the world for her happiness.
It took longer and more effort for me to force my question out. “What’s your address?”
Her alarmed gaze shot to me, and she frantically shook her head. “No, your home.”
Thank fuck.