Chapter 36
Penny
I try to give Monty the benefit of the doubt. Remind myself of everything he’s ever said to me, everything he’s ever done to show me how he feels about us.
But it’s impossible to blindly trust his words when his actions since Saturday night have been the complete opposite.
First, there was the way he pulled away during the hayride, when things got uncomfortable with his parents.
I can’t help but wonder if it was his parents being together that bothered him, or me trying to touch him, trying to console him, in front of his parents, that caused him to retreat.
Like it was okay to fake it in front of my family, my friends, my people. But he couldn’t do it in front of his.
Comparing him to Dick feels unfair but his actions on Saturday brought so many horrible feelings rushing back. Dick was never vulnerable with me, he never leaned on me. And he definitely didn’t want me to lean on him, nor was he proud to show me off as his.
I flutter my eyes closed, squeezing them slightly shut. Monty is not the same as Dick.
Still, I can’t shake the way I’ve felt since his text this morning.
Even now, hours later, with no word from him and the pumpkin-picking event he was supposed to host with me over, I’m trying to come up with a reasonable excuse.
I get that he was thrown by his parents being together last night, but is it really too hard to talk to me?
I’m so confused. The time we’ve spent together has been amazing but now I have no idea where we stand.
Last night, before his parents got to the farm, Monty was looking at me like I was everything to him.
And that was after he helped me with the bookstore, showed up at my family farm, honored my father.
After giving me time to figure out who I am, what I want.
I must have read hundreds, maybe even thousands, of love stories. But none of them ever made me feel like this. How could I have gotten us so wrong?
Now is not the time to unravel, though. I need to get through this book signing and then Monty and I will talk.
I hope. I still can’t believe he didn’t show up this morning, but I remind myself now is not the time.
He helped me set up this signing. He’ll be here with Julie Rose, and we’ll talk later.
I walk into the brewery, a box of Julie Rose’s books in my hands.
“Oh, I’ll take those,” Billie says, rushing toward me.
I glance around and am flabbergasted by how amazing the space looks.
The brewery has been transformed into a fall dream; mums of all different shades and pumpkins sit atop each of the cocktail tables.
The chairs are set in a semicircle—mirroring how we usually organize them at book club—and in the corner Tally is just finishing arranging an entire table of desserts.
“Oh, guys,” I whisper, my hand going to my lips. “This is incredible.”
“Just wait ’til you try the apple cider sangria I perfected. It even has a cinnamon sugar rim and cinnamon sticks in it.” Rosie grins as she glances past me toward the door. “Where’s Monty?”
“What do you mean, where’s Monty?”
“I mean, where is he? I thought he was coming early with Julie. But I haven’t seen him yet and everyone is set to arrive in fifteen minutes.” She glances at the clock and adds, “Make that ten.”
I groan and pull out my phone. This can’t be happening.
I don’t bother texting him and instead dial his number and press call.
It rings twice before Monty picks up.
“Hey, Pen, I was just heading to your apartment. Are you there?”
I glare at the phone. Is he kidding me? Is he seriously talking to me as if nothing has happened? Like he didn’t ghost me for the past sixteen hours—that garbage text doesn’t count—or forget to show up to host an event with me?
“No, I’m at the brewery waiting for you,” I say through a clenched jaw. “What time will you and Julie be here?”
The utter silence I’m met with has my stomach twisting, but it’s the muttered curse on the end of the line that makes my heart fall.
“Shit, Penny, I totally forgot to confirm with her yesterday. Fuck, let me see if she’s still coming. I can grab her in Boston if—”
“What?” I cough out the least humorous laugh. “Monty, people are arriving here in ten minutes. I have all these books…” I cry, staring at the boxes filled with Julie’s books that will go unsold if she isn’t here to sign them. I squeeze my eyes shut. “Forget it. I’ll handle it.”
“Penny, no. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, me, too,” I mutter, staring at my three friends who all look just as shocked as I feel. I hang up and barely restrain myself from throwing my phone. “They’re not coming.”
“I don’t understand,” Tally says, bewildered. “He didn’t show up this morning and now he just bailed on you? What the hell? I thought Dick sucked as a boyfriend, but jeez, Monty is giving him a run for his money.”
“I’m with her,” Rosie cuts in. “What the hell is going on?”
“It’s fine,” I huff out. “I’ll just let everyone know the author isn’t coming.”
I feel numb. God, how did I let this happen again? How did I fall for someone who ended up treating me as second best, just like Dick? Everyone is going to be here soon and I’ll be pathetic Penny all over again.
“Penny,” my sister whispers, as she steps closer.
I tilt my chin toward the floor, unable to face her pitiful expression, not wanting to let everyone know how destroyed I feel.
“It’s really nothing,” I say in an almost-whisper. “I’m just embarrassed.”
“Why would you be embarrassed?” Rosie presses. “Monty’s the one who fucked up. He’s the one—”
“Because it was all fake!” I can’t look at them when I say it. “Monty doesn’t owe me anything. Everything was fake. We pretended to date so that everyone would leave me alone and stop trying to set me up.”
“It was what?” I hear someone say from behind me.
I spin around and groan when I realize that every single one of the Liberty Ladies, and my mother, are standing in the brewery. Of course there would be a crowd to witness my complete and utter humiliation.
I shrug, unable to explain, too exhausted by all the lies.
The saddest part is, I started to believe it was real. How could I have been so stupid as to fall for my fake boyfriend?