Chapter Twenty-Nine Clara
Chapter Twenty-Nine CLARA
That whole thing went amazingly .
I mean, aside from being super late, interrupting the class, Jemma disappearing halfway through to be sick and us now getting ever so slightly lost in this oversized sports centre… Aside from all that, it was great!
‘Don’t worry about a thing, Milo,’ I say smoothly. ‘I’m totally in control of this situation.’ I hope I don’t sound as panicked as I feel. Because we’ve been walking down actually quite dark corridors for a good ten minutes now, without seeing a single other soul, and I have no clue what to do.
Would Google maps work in here?
After the class finished, people started crowding around Milo, asking for pictures and autographs, so I whisked him off, like the professional publicist I am.
I was taking my job seriously. I was saving him.
But that meant leading him possibly the wrong way, deeper into this massive building that is apparently only half finished.
It feels disturbingly like the beginning of a horror film.
‘I think there’s a lift over that way?’ Harry shouts from the back of the group.
Salma replies quickly, ‘No way, the front of the building is definitely this way!’
‘Why the hell am I even following you lot?’ Mack growls from behind me. And honestly, I don’t have an answer to that. It’s so weird he’s even here!
‘Sorry, what was your name?’ Milo asks him politely and he’s rewarded with something like a snarl.
‘Mack,’ comes the short, sharp reply. ‘And you’re Milo Samuels, I know you.’
Hmmm, that’s interesting. Mack knows who Milo is? ‘Do you like Book Boyfriend then, Mack?’
‘You mean Too Good to Be Tr— ’
‘There’s a sign!’ Jemma screams, finger pointed down a left corridor fork like she’s seen a ghost. Bless her, I’ve never seen a person look so pale, while simultaneously having such pink cheeks. The smell of booze and sick around her is truly potent . Poor thing.
I’m so grateful she came.
‘It says the exit is that way,’ Jemma continues, her voice trembling. We cheer and bundle forward, almost running as we spot lifts.
Sure, they look like they might be service lifts that haven’t ever been used. They’re slightly rickety and wobbly, but we just need to get to the ground floor and find our way out of here.
We pile in, relief palpable in the air around us. It’s crowded with the six of us, and I eye the max capacity sign warily. It says four persons only.
It’ll be fine.
I reach across Milo, push the G button and the contraption rumbles into life, the doors shuffling closed.
‘Thank fuck,’ Harry murmurs from directly behind me as we start to move. ‘This has been like the last thirty minutes of Saw V .’
I glance over my shoulder at him and he offers me some chewing gum, grinning sweetly. I pop a piece gratefully into my mouth, thinking what a good dude he is for coming. He didn’t have to and I can imagine it was the last thing he wanted to do on a random Thursday evening. He’s such a good friend.
The lift stops and we collectively look to the doors. Nothing happens. There is silence for a moment and then… everyone starts talking at once.
‘Are we stuck?’ Jemma’s voice is high and frightened.
‘What’s going on?’ Salma shouts from the back.
‘Oh god, no!’ Harry yells as Milo sighs loudly.
‘I don’t have time for this!’ complains Mack as I let out a silly little scream. Everyone looks to me, their faces a mix of sheeny fear. Am I supposed to be in charge here? What do I do?
OK, I’m a professional. I’m here as the official publicist of Milo fucking Samuels and a little thing like a broken lift with six people crammed inside is not going to faze me.
‘Shit,’ Milo mutters, pulling a phone out of his back pocket and looking down at the caller ID. ‘Katies is ringing me! It looks like she’s tried a few times.’
Somewhere in the melee, I catch Mack asking, ‘ Katies? Like plural Katie?’ But I’m too struck with terror to respond.
Katiezzz! If she’s calling, it means I’m in trouble. She’s supposed to be resting at home. Does she know about me being late? Does she know I got Milo lost? Does she know we’re trapped in a lift?
I suck in my breath, suddenly very afraid, and the gum lodges itself in my throat.
I start to choke, looking up frantically at Harry.
He frowns, then whacks me on the back, forcing the gum to fly out.
I watch in slow motion as it soars through the air, landing smack bang in the middle of… Milo’s beautiful hair.
Oh fuck.
Oblivious, he’s still staring at his phone, as Katiezzz’ name flashes angrily. Harry and I exchange a wide-eyed look of pure horror as Jemma starts wailing loudly on the other side of the lift.
‘I don’t like small spaces!’ she cries. ‘Where’s the call for help button? What are we going to do?’ Milo slides his phone away, turning to Jemma and stroking a soothing hand across her back.
‘It’ll be OK,’ he tells her so nicely as she looks up at him, fear obvious across her features.
Harry and I are still staring at each other with a different kind of terror.
What are we going to do about the gum in Milo’s hair?
Can we pretend we know nothing? Do we tell him and hope he doesn’t go mad?
Suddenly Harry’s face lights up. Reaching into his backpack, he carefully pulls out a tiny pair of nail scissors.
What the fuck is…? Oh my god, he’s surely not suggesting…
he thinks we should cut the gum out ! Can we…
? Dare I? Is it actually possible? I examine Milo’s beautiful hair.
It’s close to my face in this small space, as he continues to comfort my sister.
It is quite long, he might not even notice if we remove a chunk?
I subtly retrieve the tiny scissors from Harry and lean closer to Milo. He smells delicious.
Am I really going to try this? I glance again at Harry who gives me an encouraging nod. ‘ Do it! ’ he mouths and I sigh quietly.
Feeling like a ninja, I reach up and snip at the gum… missing entirely. The small sound gets Milo’s attention, though, and he turns to me, his eyebrows knitted together.
‘What—’ he begins, and then my incredible, brilliant, helpful sister throws up all over the floor at Milo’s feet.
‘Oh my god!’ Jemma groans, as Milo turns back to her. ‘I’m so sorry!’ She’s mortified, but Milo looks like he’s trying not to laugh.
‘It’s OK!’ he’s saying, far more generously than I would be. And – while he’s distracted by the pooling sick around his trainers and Salma’s screaming with horror and Mack’s moaning with disgust – I reach up and confidently snip off the offending blob of gum-tangled hair.
Harry gives me a mini-high five, just as – to a collective sigh of relief from the lift’s occupants – the doors open. The smell of vomit wafts out to an area where… oh shit… waits Katiezzz.
She’s outside the doors, and her face is absolute thunder.
Fuck.
She takes in the scene before her. Milo surrounded by the lot of us, his shoes covered in Jemma’s sick.
Jemma, soaked in sweat, pale, shivery, with tits on the verge of bursting from their restraints.
Harry and I beside him, holding a clump of Milo’s hair tangled with gum.
I mean…? At least Salma is in one piece and behaving herself.
‘What. The. Fuck,’ Katiezzz says after a moment, and I clear my throat.
‘Hey, um, Katies! What are you doing here?’ I begin, as Harry kindly retrieves the hair clump from my hand.
‘Are you fucking serious ?’ she asks, looking unbelievably so. ‘They told me you’d turned up late, then disappeared off somewhere with Milo. His car has been waiting outside for thirty minutes. I thought you’d kidnapped him! I was going to call the police!’
I gape at her as Mack pushes through the group from the back. He looks clammy and miserable. ‘I’m out of here,’ he snaps, stomping off.
‘Er, bye, Mack!’ Salma calls after him.
Katiezzz continues, rage making her face purple.
‘I had to use the Find My Phone app to track you, Milo. Are you OK? I was so freaked out when you weren’t answering your phone, and then I find you trapped in here!
’ She turns to me, eyes blazing. ‘Have you been fucking holding Milo hostage in a stinking, vomit-covered service lift? Cutting off pieces of him for some kind of fucking tribute or ritual sacrifice? Or – what? – to sell on eBay?’
‘Huh? You did what?’ Milo looks to me in confusion, and I gulp, eyes wider than ever before. Harry takes a step forward out of the lift.
‘Um, look, we can explain all of this—’ he begins, but Katiezzz is having none of it.
‘And who the fuck are you?’ she spits out as he offers a hand to shake – before realizing he’s still holding the gum-hair.
‘Hi, I’m Harry and I’ve—’
‘ Harry? ’ she narrows her eyes. ‘As in, Harry the managing director and CEO of Celebs R Us?!’
‘Oh! Um…’ Harry shoots me a terrified look and I freeze.
Katiezzz snorts now, but it’s not with any humour at all. It is a furious snort of furied fury. ‘Clara, you are sooo fucking fired,’ she says coldly, grabbing Milo by the arm and literally dragging him away from us.
He glances back as they reach the exit and I offer a sad goodbye wave.
He doesn’t return it.