Chapter Forty-Three Clara
Chapter Forty-Three CLARA
I am immensely relieved to report that sex with Harry is absolutely brilliant. Bloody fantastic. MAGICAL.
We’ve done it three times now, and each time has been better than the last. I even had a couple of orgasms! I’m delighted.
‘I’m back!’ Harry announces from the bedroom doorway, bouncing back onto the duvet, naked and gorgeous. He hands over the tub of ice cream he’s been to fetch from the kitchen.
I sigh happily and point at his crotch. ‘That is such a lovely penis, is it all for me?’
‘You bet,’ he says, grinning and offering up a spoon.
I take it, still staring at his dangly bits as I remove the plastic from the lid.
‘Honestly, though, Haz, it’s really, really lovely.
I must’ve been a super nice person in a previous life to deserve this.
I was probably, like, Tom Hanks or Dolly Parton. ’
‘Both still alive,’ he points out, reaching over to steal a scoop of my Phish Food.
‘Oh.’ I see the flaw in my logic, but am instantly distracted by the taste of creamy fat and sugar. ‘Aaah man,’ I breathe out blissfully, ‘I am so happy with my life choices.’
Harry glances over affectionately. ‘Aw, Clara!’ He strokes my leg. ‘That’s actually genuinely sweet of you.’ He beams. ‘I glove you.’
I smile back at him. He doesn’t need to know I was actually referring to this massive tub of ice cream, not the awesome sex we just had.
He rolls closer, reaching over and gently stroking one of my boobs.
‘Wow, this is really nice too,’ he murmurs.
‘Yeah, you like that?’ I say. ‘I have another one over here.’ I gesture at my other tit and he puts down his spoon to cup both.
‘I like this one best,’ he says decisively, lightly bouncing the right one in his palm.
‘Me too!’ I say delightedly. ‘It’s always been my favourite.’ I grin at him. ‘You’re so lucky to have me and my one nice boob.’
He frowns. ‘Hey, I’m not saying I don’t like lefty, I really do! I’m just saying there’s no point pretending I don’t have favourites. The right one just has that je ne sais quoi. It’s just got a bit more sass, y’know?’
‘I get it,’ I say, nodding. I do get it, I get him . Then I sigh heavily, checking the time on my phone. It’s late. ‘They’re still not back.’
He shakes his head, helping himself to more ice cream. ‘No, but maybe that’s a good sign? Like, maybe they found Eliot, the note man, in the library waiting for Jem, and now they’re snogging each other’s faces off and deciding on a favourite boob.’
‘I hope so,’ I say, perking up. ‘I feel a bit bad about not going along with them all. Do you think we were really out of order?’
‘I feel zero guilt,’ Harry says happily, squeezing righty again. He pauses and looks up. ‘But I think it’s really nice that you’re worrying about Jemma.’ He smiles softly. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think you’d have given not going along a second thought a few months ago.’
I hit him lightly with a pillow, but feel warm inside. I do feel like I’ve grown up a bit recently. I feel like I’m surrounded by people who care about me – and I care about them. ‘I haven’t changed that much,’ I point out, laughing. ‘I still didn’t actually go along to offer any support.’
Harry looks concerned. ‘I do really hope it works out. This Eliot dude sounded like a genuinely decent guy in that last note, didn’t he? And Jemma deserves someone great.’
I widen my eyes. ‘You were listening earlier when they read it out?’ I shake my head. ‘When Salma started reading, I was too busy licking that sensitive bit behind your ear.’
He snorts. ‘Ohh, I remember. You’re a very good girlfriend.’
I look over at him. ‘Girlfriend?’
He grins. ‘If you’re up for it?’
I nod silently, feeling a lot of emotions overwhelming me at once. He takes my hand and squeezes it.
Downstairs the front door slams and we both scramble to throw on clothes. I reach the landing first, yelling over the banister, ‘How did it go? What happened?’
I throw myself down the stairs, almost winding myself on the chest of drawers, still sitting in the hallway. I really should do something about it.
‘Was there a new note? Did you find him? Are you and Eliot in love now?’ I’m breathless as I glance anxiously between Jemma, Salma, Angela, Mum and Buffy. They are a collective expression of misery.
Jemma slowly shakes her head, staring down at the ground. She pulls a note out of her pocket and hands it over. I feel Harry behind me and he reads over my shoulder.
Hi Jemma,
It’s been just over a week since I left you the last note and I’m guessing that means you’ve made your decision.
For the record, I don’t blame you at all.
I know it was a lot – asking you to meet up with me.
I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable – I’m really sorry.
I want you to know how much I’ve loved talking to you.
It meant a lot, being able to talk about books, and other silly things.
I loved being able to share this passion with you.
I won’t send any more notes after this one, I’d hate for you to feel under pressure to reply.
I just wanted to say goodbye, I guess, and no hard feelings.
In fact, lots of soft, warm, biscuity feelings.
I still think you’re really wonderful and I won’t ever forget how special this was.
You made me feel seen and more like myself during a weird time in my life. Thanks, Jemma.
Yours,
Eliot x
I gasp. ‘No!’ I cry, genuinely devastated. ‘Have you written back? He might come back just in case?’
Jemma doesn’t say anything and Salma sighs, explaining, ‘We sat there for ages while Jem tried to come up with something to write back.’ She glances at Jemma with sympathetic eyes. ‘In the end, we left a short, simple note saying she was really sorry and that she’d been away.’
Jemma pipes up, ‘I put my phone number on there just in case.’ She looks crestfallen. ‘But he won’t be back. I know he won’t, I can feel it. I’ll probably get a text in a few months from some other creep who got the book out and found my number.’
Everyone falls silent and the group’s disappointment fills the hallway. I’m heartbroken for Jemma.
‘Let’s all get to bed,’ Jemma says at last, cutting through the awful atmosphere.
She glances at Mum and Angela with forced excitement.
‘Tomorrow is going to be so lovely, and we can’t let this silly let-down taint it.
I can’t wait to see you two get married.
’ We all crowd in for a cuddle, holding one another for the next couple of minutes.
Even Buffy allows herself to be group-comforted.
Eventually, we disengage, each of us heading back to our own rooms to get no sleep; half excited for what’s to come, half sad for what’s happened.