Chapter 19 #2
If my dad were here and had any idea what was running through my head, he’d tell me I sound like Tre. Maybe he’s right. Maybe Ewan is right, too. Maybe we have more in common than I’ve ever wanted to admit.
I’m looking for Tre—and trying to pretend I’m not—as Ewan and I walk into Malcolm’s, but he’s not here.
I wonder if he’s avoiding me. Or, I sigh to myself, more likely, he’s trying to give me space to decide if I want to see him.
To talk to him. I haven’t been to Betty’s since we got back from that stupid climbing trip.
“You’re buying tonight,” I tell Ewan. I normally pay because I make a lot more as a doctor than he does working as a rafting guide, but he owes me after last weekend.
“Yeah, fine. Okay,” he agrees as we drop onto stools.
The bar will be packed in a few minutes, but we snuck out of the town hall meeting early to beat the rush.
As usual, my dad was right—by the end, there was a lot of shouting, and not a damn bit of difference being made.
Most of the town seemed to be pro-ecoterrorism though, so that was something.
By and large, none of us want Henley and Montank here.
“Hey Fi. Hey Ewan.” Malcolm raps his knuckles on the highly polished bar.
“Hey Mal. It’s going to be busy in a few. I’ve never seen a town hall so packed,” I warn.
“Thanks for the heads up. What can I get you guys?”
“Bring us two of whatever you have on tap that will best serve as an apology to my sister. I’m paying tonight,” Ewan tells him.
Malcolm’s lips twitch upward as he glances between us. He doesn’t comment, though. He simply moves away to fill two glasses.
“So. What’s going on with you and Tre?”
“I thought you talked to him yesterday. Didn’t he tell you?” I shoot back. I really don’t want to explain my feelings for Tre to my twin. Mostly because I haven’t been able to untangle them myself.
“Yeah, but I want to hear your perspective.”
“It was never supposed to… I was never supposed to…”
Malcolm comes and sets two glasses in front of us and then moves away. Ewan raises his eyebrows as he takes a sip, waving at me to get on with it.
“I kissed him, Ewan, and everything went to shit.”
“On the Fourth of July?”
“No. I mean yes, but before then, too.”
“He neglected to mention that. How’d that happen? When did that happen?”
“I don’t know. Not long before that day that you told me you’d told him about mom. And… he was there and… I don’t know. I knew I’d fucked up almost as soon as I did it, but…”
“But now you keep thinking about him?” Ewan says, repeating my words from that morning near the campfire. Goddamn Cade.
“Yeah.”
“So? What’s wrong with that? Tre’s a good guy.”
I sigh. “You don’t get it. You forgive everyone for everything. They don’t even need to apologize to you! You just let shit go like you’re the Buddha trying to attain Enlightenment or something,” I grumble. “I’m not like that.”
Ewan shrugs. “He apologized though, right? He said he did.”
“Yeah.”
“So what’s the problem? You want him. He wants you. What more do you need?”
“I don’t know if I can actually let it go. Every time I kiss him, I feel like I’m betraying mom.”
“Oh god, Fiona,” Ewan says with more than a hint of exasperation. “Get over it! Mom’s dead, but if she weren’t, she’d tell you the same thing. Tre was an asshole then, but he’s not anymore. People can change. Maybe you should try it out yourself sometime.”
“Like it’s just that easy?” I grouse, finally taking a sip. It’s slightly bitter. If beers had feelings, this one might be remorseful. It’s a good choice for an apology beer.
Ewan shrugs again. “Try it, sis. I know you. You’re so in your head about what you should or shouldn’t do that you haven’t bothered to actually find out.”
“Whatever.”
“Consider it at least.”
“It’s pretty much all I’ve been doing, Ewan,” I complain.
I wish I could get Tre out of my head, but I can’t.
I’ve been avoiding him the past couple of days, because how do I walk into the diner and order a coffee like I didn’t tell all our closest friends that I want him so badly I was more or less fantasizing about him while I was with someone else before storming off to sulk about it?
What do I even say? I don’t really have anything to apologize for, but I feel the need to apologize all the same.
It almost seems like one more way for Tre to get under my skin, even though I know it’s not his fault.
“Anyway,” I say, changing the subject. “What were you saying before in the town hall? About it being more than one person?”
“Oh. Yeah. That. Think about it. That condo building was massive. One person couldn’t have done all the work for that in a single night.
It’d take at least a couple of people to pull that off.
Probably more. You know how long dad and his team always had to prep for those kinds of demolitions. It was never a single-day activity.”
“Yeah, I guess. Have you heard any rumors about who it might’ve been?”
“Tons. Everything from Tre to an imaginary militia hiding out in the mountains to Bigfoot. You name it, someone has been running their mouth about it.” Ewan takes a sip.
“What’s the consensus?” I ask. I know Ewan hears a lot more gossip working on the river than I do in my office.
“It seems like an even split between Tre and the imaginary militia. I don’t think either’s right.
Tre couldn’t do it. I don’t mean he wouldn’t—I mean he couldn’t.
He doesn’t know how. Plus, like I said, he definitely couldn’t do it alone, and who would help him?
And the militia idea… well, we’d know about them if they were close enough to bother doing something like that.
They’d have to come into town for supplies, or we’d see them on the river or something.
And the ATF would absolutely know about them, and I don’t think they have any better idea about what’s going on than anyone else does.
So if you’re asking who I think did it, I have no idea.
Henley and Montank, maybe. Tre raised a good point back there about the insurance money.
Maybe they’re over-leveraged and blowing up their own development seemed like an easy out. ”
“Huh. Maybe.” I file the idea away. It’d make for a good rumor if need be.
“I can’t believe you lied to me,” Ewan says after a moment of silence.
“What?” I ask, confused by the statement.
“That day when I told you that Tre asked why you hated him. I asked you what was going on with you two, and you stared straight at me and said, ‘Nothing.’”
“Yeah. Well. I was embarrassed, okay?”
“You could’ve told me. If you had, I wouldn’t have…” Ewan gestures vaguely.
“I know. It’s just… It’s Tre, Ewan.”
“Are you going to give him a shot?”
“I don’t know. Maybe,” I say, and Ewan grins like I just said yes.
“Hey dad,” I call when I walk into the house. The lights are on in the kitchen, so I head that way once I’ve kicked my shoes off.
“Hey Fi.” He glances up from the steaks he’s seasoning when I step into the kitchen. “What’s the news?”
“No one knows anything. The ATF agent from last week was there, and they had the sheriff up to talk tonight. It was a lot of ‘We’ll catch whoever’s responsible, mark my words’ nonsense.
Most people suspect Tre, but I guess after Rich sent the lawyer down last time the sheriff tried to talk to him, they’re being careful. ”
“Mmm,” my dad grunts. “They came to talk to me this afternoon. Brought Special Agent Smith with them.”
“Oh yeah? How’d that go?”
“They asked about where I was again. The fact that I have an alibi annoyed them. It seems like you’re right. They have no real suspects, so they’re just circling around anyone with the right skills, hoping to get lucky. They asked to look around the house.” His blue eyes meet mine.
“Did you let them?”
“Sure. I’ve got nothing to hide,” my dad says with a smirk, and it’s true that there’s nothing in the house that could tie either of us to the explosives used at Henley and Montank’s construction sites.
I nod. “Ewan was telling me he thinks it’s more than one person because one person couldn’t have—” I bite my tongue, realizing what I said a second too late.
“Because one person couldn’t have done Hay Creek in a single night,” he finishes for me.
Shit, I think, my stomach sinking as I lean against the wall. “Yeah,” I mumble.
“He’s right. So how’d you do it?” My dad’s eyes are locked on me, the steaks forgotten.
I feel like I’m fifteen again, and I got caught sneaking back into the house after curfew. “I’m really efficient. You know I’ve got great time management skills,” I reply, lying through my teeth.
“Fiona.”
“Fine. I had help.”
“From?” he interrogates, still staring me down.
“Someone who doesn’t know about you, so you don’t need to know about them.”
“Fiona.”
“No, it’s better if neither of you knows about the other.”
“Are Henley and Montank leaving then?” He folds his arms across his chest.
“I don’t know. Probably not.”
“Then at some point, you’re going to want me to build you another bomb, which I won’t do unless you tell me who the hell is helping you.”
I sigh and close my eyes. I should’ve just gone straight to my room. Hell. Maybe I should get my own place. I try to decide what to say, but he’s right, and if I can’t trust him, I can’t trust anyone.
I take a deep breath and exhale it as I say, “Tre.”
“Tre? You’re joking.”
“No. He saw me at Bridal Mountain. He was there doing something similar, and… he demanded we pool our efforts. He kind of had me over a barrel, dad. So we planned Hay Creek together.”
“Goddamnit, Fiona!” he growls, bringing his hand down on the island with a loud thud.
“It’s fine, dad. It’s not a big deal.”
“You don’t think he’ll rat you out if push comes to shove?” he demands, still sounding angry.
“No. Actually, I don’t. He has just as much to lose.”
“He’ll cut a deal, and he’ll sell you out. He’s already their prime suspect!”
“He won’t,” I state, feeling surer than I have any right to.
My dad rolls his eyes and goes back to his steaks, ignoring me.
“I guess we’re done talking then?” I ask, but he says nothing.
Yeah, definitely time to find my own place, I think as I leave the room.