NOVA
My panic had left me in a dark hole for most of the day. As soon as Boone arrived, my sense of doom faded. By the time his arm was wrapped around me, I could breathe right again.
I dug into the pocket of my shorts and retrieved a picture of Eddie Murphy. Boone took it and kissed the top of my head.
“I hope you keep giving me these for the rest of my long life. Even if I get dementia, you should still hand them to me. You can remember the meaning even if I don’t.”
“What if I’m the one with dementia?”
“Then, I’ll hand them to you. When you ask what it means, I’ll say he was your ex-boyfriend that you never got over.”
Laughing, I straddled Boone. His arms wrapped around me. Our lips met. The kiss immediately deepened. There was something already familiar about his touch. Though Boone was still a stranger, I felt completely safe with him.
“You won’t leave me,” I whispered when our lips parted.
“Not if I can help it,” Boone said and nuzzled my throat. “You’ll always be mine.”
“No other man will ever exist for me.”
Ideally, Boone and I could move to my bedroom and take our passion to the next level.
However, I heard Lyric growing agitated and trying to “retire” the dog.
“I’m staying the night,” Boone told me.
I sighed at the thought of sharing a bed with Boone. However, I wasn’t certain the girls wouldn’t end up joining us.
“Mama!” Lyric cried and rushed into the room. “Ramen is bullying me.”
Lyric stopped in her tracks when she found me on Boone’s lap. I slid back to the floor and waved for her to come closer.
“What are you doing?” Lyric asked, wary now.
“I was hugging Boone,” I said as she crawled into my lap. “I was sad, and he wanted me to feel better.”
Lyric eyed Boone in that way she got whenever he was overly affectionate toward me. She very deliberately wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me.
“Don’t be sad,” she said as I stroked her back. “I’m hugging you.”
“You’ve got to share,” Boone told her.
“No,” Lyric insisted while sliding between us. “I don’t want to share.”
Boone nudged her and said, “But I love Nova.”
“I love her, too.”
“Skylar loves her, too. That’s three people. Who else loves your mom?”
Lyric considered his question. “Uncle Dan.”
“That’s right. Who else?” Boone asked.
I smiled at how Boone reacted to the girls’ possessive behavior. Lyric stopped worrying about him hugging me once she had a problem to solve.
“I think Aunt Lula loves Mama,” Lyric said. “And Dillon.”
“Oh, yeah. How about Ramen? Does he love your mom?”
“Yes.”
“Even though he’s a bully?”
Lyric frowned. “He needs to retire.”
“What’s retire mean?”
“I don’t know.”
Snickering, I hugged my baby girl. “Who taught you that?”
“Skylar knows big words. She goes to school.”
“Do you miss her?”
Lyric sighed and nodded. “She’s always gone.”
“She was just home for fall break,” I reminded her.
“That wasn’t long enough.”
Boone patted Lyric’s foot dangling between us. “I cried a lot when my sister went to school. I missed her so much. But I also liked having my mom to myself during the day.”
Lyric smiled at me. “I like you paying attention to me.”
“I like paying attention to you, too.”
As Lyric stared at me, I was certain she had forgotten what her original complaint had been. She glanced at Boone.
“You’re here.”
“I’m staying tonight. I get to sleep in your mom’s bed.”
“You’re too big.”
“I’ll curl up until I’m smaller.”
Lyric grinned. “Do you know how to do a cartwheel?”
Boone took advantage of her question to move us to the backyard. Though he chickened out on his cartwheel, Goldie and Lyric took turns showing off their moves.
Afterward, my baby talked about joining a gymnastics class until Lula mentioned signing up. Suddenly, Lyric was too busy to go.
The autumn weather helped my mood. While Lyric told Boone and Goldie stories about the Baton Rouge Zoo, I let myself feel the change in season. Last spring, I uprooted my life and moved in with Lula and her daughter.
The summer was busy. We bought a new house in Baton Rouge. We said goodbye to the old one. Zodiac and Elle got together. Skylar started school. I grew closer to so many new people.
Yet, in a lot of ways, I’d remained stuck in the past. Even though time moved forward, I was still fighting battles with people long dead.
Back in the present, Goldie ditched us and headed next door when she saw Sabrina arrive. Irritated by his sister’s neglect, Boone decided we should pick up Skylar. As we drove to the elementary school, Dan and Lula headed to the junior high to get Dillon.
Once in the car, Skylar acted mopey. I figured she might be bothered by my freakout this morning. Or she was annoyed by Boone’s presence.
We dropped off the foster kids, Jenan and Elijah, next door with Bebe before heading home. Dan texted to explain how he, Dillon, and Lula planned to see a movie and get dinner.
“Lula thought you might like alone time with him.”
I rolled my eyes at how my brother refused to use Boone’s name. Despite my irritation, I thanked him for letting me enjoy time with my boyfriend. I knew that last word would piss him off in the same way as his name avoidance annoyed me.
“Mama, Skylar’s sad,” Lyric said and tugged on my hand.
Normally, my oldest daughter wanted a quick snack and then a nap. Today, she sat on her bed, wearing her black sunglasses and sniffling.
“What’s wrong, baby?” I asked.
Skylar instantly lowered her head. “I didn’t do anything,” she whimpered as Lyric began crying next to me. “I’m not mean.”
“What happened?” I whispered and kneeled in front of the two girls. “Did someone hurt you?
Skylar walked over to where she had dropped her backpack. Digging out a paper, she handed it to me.
“I didn’t do anything to him!” she cried.
The drawing was a typical kid's design with weird shapes and unsuitable colors. I wasn’t sure what I was looking at. I knew Skylar hadn’t drawn the picture since she knew how to make stick figures, not this blobby body madness.
“What is this?” I asked when my brain refused to identify the black spot or the larger red blob.
“Payson gave me this,” Skylar said, and pointed at the blobs. “That’s the boogeyman. This is our house. He made the monster come here.”
A panicking Lyric immediately cried, “We need to retire the house!”
Hugging my girls, I dropped the drawing and made plans to talk to the teacher about bullying.
Boone picked up the paper and looked it over. “There’s something we can do to make the boogeyman go to Payson’s house instead.”
The girls focused on him in wide-eyed shock. Skylar choked out, “Really? Payson said he made the boogeyman come here.”
Boone shook his head casually. “No, he’s just a little kid. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. But I know a way to send the boogeyman to his house. Wait, did you tell this brat about the night lights?”
Skylar shook her head while I wiped her wet cheeks. “No, I never talk to him. He’s mean.”
“How does he know you’re scared of the boogeyman?” I asked Skylar.
“Another girl said a monster lived under her bed. That was the first week. I said the boogeyman hides in our closet. I never said anything to Payson. Why is he mean to me?”
“Because you’re cool, and he’s a loser,” Boone said calmly. “A kid bullied me in school. He had bad parents, and I had good ones. His big sister was also a bully, but my big sister took care of me. The kid was jealous.”
Skylar calmed down and looked at Lyric. “I have a nice house.”
Wiping her eyes, Lyric nodded. “This house is big. He’s jealous.”
“And you’re cool,” Boone told Skylar. “You aren’t boring like most kids. He wants to be like you. Since he can’t, he’s mean.”
Skylar exhaled deeply and looked around her room. “I don’t want the boogeyman to come here.”
“Well, this boy doesn’t know about the night lights, so we’ll send the boogeyman to his house. But don’t warn him. Don’t say anything, okay?”
The girls looked at Boone like he was brilliant. They trusted him completely. I did, too, so I didn’t ask questions when he had us walk outside with the candle lighter.
“Okay, you can only do this when grownups are around,” Boone said, standing next to the grill. “Fire is very dangerous. I knew a boy who burned down his house while playing with a lighter like this. Do you understand?”
The girls nodded instantly, watching him with faint smiles. Boone grinned at me like this was something he regularly did, and I shouldn’t worry.
“Well, the boy who colored this ugly picture left a part of himself on the paper,” Boone said and lifted the drawing over the grill. “He woke up the boogeyman by drawing the monster. So, we’re going to burn this paper and send the boogeyman to the bully. Are you ready?”
Stepping closer, I asked, “Should I take a picture of the drawing for when I talk to the teacher?”
“You can, but I don’t think the teacher needs to be involved,” Boone said, smiling softly at me.
“This Payson brat is a small child like Skylar. I figure she can deal with the loser without involving teachers or the principal. And if the issue gets bigger, I’ll talk to the kids’ parents.
That’s how we handled things in Rawlins, and my old bully learned to leave me alone. ”
I glanced at the girls who waited to see my reaction. I’d been raised to follow the rules and complain about problems to the proper authorities. Even living in Baton Rouge, I never considered other solutions.
But the police hadn’t been the ones to find the man who shot me. Dan and the Black Rainbow hunted down the guy, and they certainly didn’t give him a trial.
“I don’t want the boogeyman coming here,” I said and smiled at my girls. “Let’s send the monster to the bully.”
The girls grinned at me. One day, they’d stop worrying about the boogeyman. I didn’t sense Boone was genuinely afraid of monsters. His mom was, though, and he learned to adjust to her thinking.
As a five-year-old’s drawing burned on the grill, I saw my life more clearly.
For years, my hope to be normal had led to pain and disappointment.
My dad was a serial killer. My dead husband was somewhere in the Mississippi River, put there by my criminal brother.
I was living in another town controlled by a one-percent motorcycle club.
And I was in love with a man who saw the world in a wonderfully weird way.
Shedding my good girl thinking might take a while, but I had a goal now. For too long, I had avoided asking myself tough questions.
My mom did the same thing. Rather than deal with her conflicted feelings over loving a bad man, Laverne kept bouncing from one substitute husband to another. The last one killed her with his reckless driving.
Dan hadn’t been able to deal with his feelings toward our parents, so he ran away. He and I were still twisted up from the past.
Hiding was no longer an option for me. I planned to become the kind of woman brave enough to love Boone with my whole heart.