Chapter Seven #5
I didn’t know what to say. It was obvious to me that Leah was enough for Alex; it was obvious to me that Leah would be enough for anyone.
Leah’s worth was so obvious to me that I didn’t know how to explain it to someone who didn’t already understand.
It would be like explaining to someone that the sky was blue and that grass was green.
“Of course the problem couldn’t have been you,” I said. “Who in their right mind would think you weren’t good enough for them? No one. I mean, maybe like George Clooney. But only when he was in his prime, not now when he’s so old and wrinkly.”
She managed to chuckle a little bit. It came out more like a choke.
“But I wasn’t enough for Alex. Otherwise, why did they cheat?”
I rolled my eyes. “Obviously that has nothing to do with you. No idiot in their right mind would cheat on you, so either Alex is an idiot, or Alex was not in their right mind. I mean, you know you’re hot, right?”
“God, Elizabeth. You’re so fucking shallow.”
“I know. But so are you, right? We all are. Otherwise why did you start to smile after I said that?”
She wiped away her tears. This time, she let out a real laugh.
“You’re so annoying,” she said.
“I know. Also, now that you’re mad at Alex, I can tell you that you’re out of their league anyway.”
Leah shrugged. “I know.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, but like…I don’t know. I used to care about that kind of thing, but Alex was actually the person who made me stop caring about that kind of thing.”
“Oh. Because of the whole nonbinary thing?”
“No, not that. It’s because when you feel so deeply connected with someone…
none of that stuff matters. You don’t think about ‘Oh, I’m more attractive than them’ or ‘Oh, they’re more attractive than me.
’ Because you feel so solid in your connection that you don’t need to feel threatened by anyone else.
I mean, clearly I was wrong, but you get what I’m saying. ”
I did get what she was saying, but I didn’t know if I could ever feel that way about someone. And besides, what was the point, if I’d just end up sobbing on the couch while eating thousands of calories?
I decided to keep her company for the rest of the night.
I asked Leah what she wanted to do and she told me that she just wanted to cry.
But I told her that wasn’t an option and she had to pick something else, so she said that we should watch Booksmart while eating McDonald’s.
Obviously, I agreed and even offered to pick it up, but she insisted that we order it straight to the dorm.
After we finished the movie, we pushed apart the twin beds that had previously formed her and Alex’s makeshift king bed, and she pulled out a spare set of twin XL sheets from the dresser that smelled like dust mites and had probably been crawled over by a cockroach or two.
But I was so tired at that point that I didn’t think about it too much and immediately fell asleep.
—
I didn’t know that I’d be staying over at Leah’s, so I hadn’t brought a spare set of contact lenses.
I ended up walking back to my dorm room in the morning half-blind, a feat not helped by the fact that my phone had also died.
Fortunately, I reached my room after only tripping a couple of times, and when I plugged in my phone I was pleasantly surprised to see that Laura had responded with feedback to Suzie’s college essay.
Hi Suzie,
Thanks so much for sending this over! I think you’ve chosen a great topic for college essays for all the reasons you probably already know. Your commitment to varsity tennis shows work ethic, passion, and teamwork, all of which are crucial to being a successful college student!
As for areas of improvement, my comments are mostly related to your writing style.
Your tone is very abrupt and to-the-point.
Have you considered adding more imagery?
For instance, you could say something about how the color of the tennis court is like freshly mowed grass.
I’d also recommend using stronger vocabulary.
For instance, you said that you “felt good on the day of the match.” Is there a better word you can use here than “good”?
I’ve also highlighted all the places where you’ve used an adverb or passive voice.
I’d recommend taking all of these out. If you need to use an adverb, that means that your verb is not strong enough.
And instead of passive voice, you should always use active voice.
In other words, your topic is great, but stylistically it still needs a bit of work. Let me know if you have any questions!
I was quaking with rage by the time I finished reading the email.
It was not the response that I had been expecting.
I expected lavish praise. I expected that Laura would be infinitely impressed with Suzie’s writing, so concise yet so effective.
Instead, she thought that “stylistically it still need[ed] a bit of work.” What did that even mean?
How dare she criticize my use of adverbs and passive voice?
Did she not know that those tips were only for the most beginner writers, who tended to use an excess of both, and that used sparingly they could be quite effective?
Maybe she did know that, and just thought that I was a beginner writer. How dare she?
In place of my succinct, impactful sentences, she had added an excess of flowery language and pretentious vocabulary.
I was enraged by her suggestions. Judging by the sheer volume of her markups, she must have thought she was doing Suzie such a huge favor, that poor Suzie had written something so terrible that it needed a complete rewrite from the generous and brilliant Laura Kim.
I knew that I was overreacting, but I couldn’t stop myself from burning with loathing for Laura, hate-reading every word of her email until I forced myself to shut the laptop and take five deep breaths.
I told myself that Laura’s terrible suggestions only acted as further proof of my conviction that she was not that smart, that I was right to dig into Laura’s background to find out more about her application.
Besides, she wasn’t completely off base; I had written Suzie’s essay quickly, so obviously I used far simpler language than what I’d use for an actual essay I needed to turn in for school, and even for the actual essays I used to apply for college.
Once I finally calmed myself down, I opened the laptop again to look at the document she had attached with her proposed revisions.
I accepted all of Laura’s suggestions, cringing with each change.
I sent the revised version back to Laura, along with my effusive praise and thanks.