Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
Thorin- 20 years old
“ P oor thing. They keep puttin’ babies in her lil’ belly but that ain't the gods’ plan for her.”
“The last one was a stillborn. This lil’ boy came out screamin’— whew what a set of lungs he had. Made it a whole month.”
“How many has it been now?”
“Oh lords, I think this is the fifth. Could be sixth. All I know is only two were full term.”
Fifth . It was the fifth time I’ve had to endure my body being used.
I love how the staff talk about me as if I’m not sitting in the room with them. In the beginning they doted on me. Singing praises of Locren’s chosen lifebringer. Now, well, I might as well be a piece of furniture. At least these goblins seem to have some sense of compassion.
For the last four years I’ve been under constant surveillance. Fuck, I haven’t left this estate in three years. I haven’t felt the sun on my skin. The bitter bite of winter. Haven’t felt the leaves crunch beneath my feet on a crisp autumn night. I had more freedom at the campsite. Luckily, the best room in this gilded tomb is chock full of natural light. The library’s entire ceiling is open, spelled to keep out the elements, letting in a glorious amount of sunlight. It’s almost like being outside.
My fingers drag across each old, dusty spine as I search for an escape. Will it be an epic romance or shall it be an intellectual textbook on the theories of elemental magic? Whatever the initial choice, I’ll wind up reading them both anyway. I’ve successfully made it through half the library so far. Surprisingly, Locren wants me to stay well educated, believing that my intelligence will be passed down to the heir.
With closed eyes I pluck a book from the shelf— Recipes for Unique and Long Lasting Friendships. I didn’t take Locren as a lover of satire. Tucking the leather ‘cookbook’ under my arm, I trot down the small staircase to the far end of the library where no one ever goes. My favorite reading nook waits for me, sunshine warming the cushions. Stepping up into the raised alcove, I find which direction the sun is shining in and curl up there. Mindlessly, my hand rests on my stomach, only to be reminded of the vacancy that lay beneath it. Did I want to have children? No. But after growing one inside you for months on end, there is an indescribable emptiness that is left behind.
With my back pressed against the warm glass pane, I settle in. Flipping through the deckle edged pages I can’t help but laugh. I know this book is meant to be funny, but the thing is, I have no idea how to make friends. In Incedis, I wasn’t allowed to make friends with the ‘common folk,’ leaving me with the annoying nobles’ kids and my brother. None of which wanted me around. Well, there was a time that Cairo and I got along, really well actually. That was until he started coming into his magic earlier than most and father swept him up under his cruel wing. Now, Cairo is nothing more than a copy of the man we used to hide from.
“Ms. Thorin?”
Blinking away the memory, I turn to find Wynona holding a tray of different types of berries—my mouth waters. “You have to eat, darling,” she begs with her blazing eyes. “I even made sure they added extra horned berries.”
Pulling the ribbon from my hair, I tuck it into the book before closing it. “Only for you, Nona.” I go right for the largest pink rams horn piece of goodness, popping it into my mouth. The first bite ushers in a burst of tartness that quickly shifts to mellow sweetness that I could die for. A victorious grin beams from Wynona’s face as she sits beside me, keeping the platter in her lap.
At first, I take my time, too much time, picking and chewing the fruit, but quickly it turns into stuffing my face full. I can’t believe how hungry I am.
Wynona’s warm hand rubs circles into my back. “It’s been a week. Of course you’re hungry.”
Stopping mid chew, I side eye her, wondering if I said that out loud but swiftly remember that dryads can hear your thoughts. She is always very respectful of my privacy, or at least chooses not to comment, but every once in a while a little blip sneaks out.
Before long, not a single speck is left on the gold filigree platter and my hunger is finally sated. “Thank you, Nona. You always know how to make things better. I don’t know what I would do without you.” I really don't know what I’d do without her. Every loss, every weak and broken moment, Nona was there. Nona was there cleaning up the mess—metaphorically and physically. But she was so much more than a shoulder to cry on. She built me, forcing me to look at my accomplishments and recognize my strengths. She celebrated each small win, and held me through the losses. I literally would not have survived this long without Wynona and that is something I will never forget.
Looking down at her apron clad thighs, she wrings her hands. “You are a strong, intelligent, and incredibly brave young lady. You don’t need an old midwife like me.”
Scooting closer, I rest my head against her arm, trying to calm my nerves. “Out with it, Nona. What’s the snake having me do now?”
She wraps her long arm around me and pulls me into her chest lovingly. Pressing a kiss on top of my head, she speaks into my hair. “You’re being transferred to the compound.”
“Now?”
“Yes, darling. He’s allowing me to take you over,” she sighs. “It will be similar to the camp. The uniforms are identical, you still won’t have access to any of your magic, and you’ll be expected to supply blood daily. But you get your own room.”
Pulling away, I go back to my position against the window pane, soaking up the last bit of peace I’ll ever have. “You mean cell. Don’t dress it up, Nona. I know what’s waiting for me.” My eyes close, trying to picture my new life. Will it be simpler? I know for sure my days of breeding are over, and I’m used to giving blood. But every luxury comes with a price. Living here, my price was my womb and sanity. I can only imagine what I’ll be expected to do now. “I want to speak to him before we go.”
A smirk forms at the corner of her charcoal lips. “I expected so.”
Wynona takes my hand with a light tug. With extreme effort, I peel myself away from my sacred spot, smiling back at it before we walk away.
“Pet, I thought you would be making yourself at home in your new room by now.” Locren’s pompous voice makes my skin crawl.
“What’s the catch?”
He glances up from his paperwork, clearly aggravated. “Excuse me?”
Crossing my arms over my small chest, I tilt my head. “What exactly are you expecting me to do while I’m at the compound?”
“You have never been a stupid girl, I’ll give you that.” Locren sits back in his highback chair and steeples his fingers. “You have two assignments.” Keeping his gaze locked on mine, his eyes shift red—there’s no getting out of his demands now. “You will be overseeing the disbursement of bliss. Making sure every guard is equipped and knowledgeable on how to use it. Right now, the girls are getting injections at night—not very practical.” Opening up his desk drawer, he pulls out a drawing of one of the most stunning beings to ever grace my sight. “This is Villiana Nyx. You are to befriend her, watch over her and report back to me. And you are personally responsible for giving her an extra dose of bliss every night. I don’t care if you have to shove it down her throat.”
My blood runs cold at the thought. What horrors is he putting this poor girl through that she needs to be that drugged up, and even worse, why does he want her not to remember?
I fight his mind control with every ounce of my being.
“I’ll distribute the bliss, but there is no way I’ll be an accomplice to destroying her life.”
Pushing out of his seat and rounding his desk, Locren laughs. Full belly, tears in his eyes, laughs. “Oh, Rana , you don’t have a choice in the matter.” Crossing booted ankles, he flashes his fangs. “Not only do I own you , but I know many other researchers who would love nothing more than to get their hands on you. And they make Olios and Quinnin look like saviors.”
Every scar on my body flares with white hot pain. I—I can’t go through that again. Gods, I hate myself so much right now, but the words of the dryad doctor ring though my mind. We all have to make choices in our lives that are difficult. For me, I choose every day to be the villain. I have to choose myself for once. Plus, it’s not like I can really defy his compulsion.
“Fine,” I concede through gritted teeth.
“Wonderful.” Locren claps his hands with triumph.
Holding a finger up he taps at the air, signaling there’s more bullshit he’s about to spout. “One last thing.” Reaching over the top of his desk Locren awkwardly opens the top drawer, doing everything not to give me his back. The sound of papers rustling fills the office, blindly searching until there is a soft thud against the wooden drawer. A horrific grin glides across his olive toned face as he reveals a syringe filled with a murky brown liquid.
“Just a bit of… insurance ,” he taunts before rushing forward to plunge the needle deep into my upper arm. The liquid feels corrosive as it infiltrates my flesh, spreading like wildfire.
Locren doesn’t fight when I drop to the ground, tremors rocking my body. “Wha–” The question is cut short by the sound of raw agony screeching from my chest.
“That,” he quips, flicking the glass syringe with a ting. “Is a magic blocker. Your womb is worthless to me now, so your magic is unnecessary.”
Squatting down on his toes, Locren snatches my face, squeezing my cheeks between his fingers. “ Now you can go.”
The moment we walked out the doors of the estate, I collapsed in the grass—each blade tickling my skin was glorious. I rolled around like a child, spreading out my arms and legs, simply enjoying the true warmth of the sun, the distant sound of running water, hell, even the sound of the other girls in the compound. The only sound that could be heard was the melodic whisper of the wind. And honestly, I didn’t need to hear anything else. Wynona let me enjoy the freedom as long as possible, but nothing lasts forever.
Now, as we trek down the musty hallway of the dorms, my pointed ears are flooded with the haunting sounds of hollow tears and empty prayers behind rusted metal doors.
I can’t help but cringe at the conditions of this place. Blame the princess in me, but I can’t imagine sleeping down here. Guards slink from rooms with permanent scowls etched into their faces. Wynona stops at room number 1316, sliding the key into the large lock.
“This is where I leave you, Thorin.” She opens the door to the most pathetic excuse of a room I have ever seen. A single cot with a torn mattress is pushed against a moss coated stone wall. One nightstand sits next to the bed with a tiny flicker light lamp. Creeping inside, I find that the only other furniture is a wobbly wooden chair in the corner next to the door. Sitting on top is a familiar cotton dress I wore for many years.
You could be back on that bed lying in a pool of your own blood.
My despondent face turns to the only being who loves me. “It could be worse…right?”
“Never give up on yourself because that’s how you become stuck. For as long as you are living there is hope, Thorin.” Her voice is like honey coating my heart—sweet and heavy. Wynona opens her arms just as she has done many times before.
Throwing myself against her chest, a sob wracks my chest.
“I love you, Nona.”
Getting to her knee, Wynona cups my face. “I love you too, darling.” With one last hug she whispers in my ear, “Remember who you are, child of fire. Let your inferno rage.”