14. More cracks
14
More cracks
Exton
Mr. Ross says his goodbyes to us, making Electra promise she’ll come back again soon and leaves us just as Liam brings out our food, setting the whole feast down as quickly as he can because the ice that now surrounds Electra can be felt for miles. That easy, light mood that she was wearing after our goofing around on the lake, snuffed out like a match in the rain.
“So—” I start but don’t get to utter another word before she interrupts me.
“I don’t want to talk about,” Electra says briskly and reaches over to put some garlic cauliflower fries on her plate.
“Tough shit.” I pull the plate away from her and answer her glare with one of my own. “I do.”
“Tough shit, I’m not obligated to talk to you if I don’t want to. You are just my babysitter, so do your babysitting duty and that’s all.” Her cold, bitter tone with an all-teeth smile is chilling to the bone.
It shouldn’t infuriate me as much as it does. It shouldn’t sting that she flipped the switch and reverted back to her ice queen routine after the day we had. It shouldn’t hurt to see her hurting. And I know she is.
She is very good at hiding behind all that anger and bitterness, but I see it. I see it all because I wear a mask of my own.
I just wish I’d know the why. Because ever since I stepped foot into her cabin, I felt her. On some weird level, I felt her. But I don’t know her.
I don’t know anything about her life, family, or her career. Where are her parents? Why is Stella the one taking care of her? Is she even as good a figure skater as everyone makes her out to be? Hell, I don’t even know how she got that injury apart from hearing bits and pieces about it at this same bar, a week ago.
All I’ve cared about up to this point was getting her on her feet and leaving Iris Lake in the dust. And now I want to know more. I want to know everything and she’s shutting down on me. Electra is closing that door so fast, I can’t even slip my fingers underneath it.
Part of me is fighting me. Telling me it doesn’t fucking matter. No one else ever mattered so why all of a sudden do I care about this falling star? But that other—tiny in comparison, yet so eager—part is screaming to be close to her. To never leave her alone. To keep fighting for her when she is so clearly done fighting herself.
I don’t realize I’ve been watching her, this whole time until she says, “Are you going to eat or keep staring at me? Because if it’s the latter then we might as well leave. I don’t need you to be my therapist, Exton. I don’t need you at all, so maybe you should go back to your life.”
Her words shouldn’t strike that cord inside my soul, feeding the dark thoughts that had plagued me for most of my life, but they do.
No one needs you, Exton.
Your father didn’t need you.
Your team is clearly doing great without you.
You are just a babysitter. That’s it. She doesn’t need you.
I try to shake off those thoughts, to build up my own walls that she managed to crack, but that tiny miserable part of me is pushing back, telling me to keep fighting. And I do but using the only way I know.
“Keep spewing your venom, cripple, it’s music to my ears.” I try to inject as much lightness, carelessness into those words as I can manage while fighting to keep the anger inside me leashed.
“Fucking asshole,” she says through clenched teeth, but I’m already digging into my food, ignoring the pissed-off angry elf across from me and my own raging thoughts as I look around the lively bar that’s filled up to the brink in the thirty minutes we’ve been here.
Soon enough, I spot that same girl I flirted with my first time here and tip my chin with a small smile in acknowledgement to her wave.
I should go talk to Stacy. That’s what I would normally do. Or just fuck her long ago, but as I look at her—or any girl in here—I feel nothing. My dick doesn’t stir or beg me to go play around. Nothing.
Yet…last night and this morning, in bed with Electra, he was way too fucking eager and now as I watch the busty blonde hurry toward us, he doesn’t even bother to feign interest.
Stacy slides up with a chipper, “Hey handsome,” completely ignoring Electra on the other side.
“Hey, Stacy,” I answer but the smile is already wiped off my face.
“I was hoping I’d run into you again.” She puts her hands on the table, leaning onto it slightly while pushing her already large enough tits together.
But I’m not watching her, my eyes are on the angry elf across who is eyeing Stacy like she doesn’t know whether she should pull her hair out or call her out for being a shameless slut and not the sexy one either.
“Oh,” I say on autopilot because I can’t even remember what she said in the first place.
“Mm-hmm.” She bites her lip. “Wanna get out of here and pick up where we left off the last time?”
I finally lift my eyes up to Stacy just in time to see her winking with all kinds of promises.
“I’m busy tonight.” Her brows furrow in confusion.
“Busy? With what?” She looks around, her eyes briefly running over Electra before she exhales with relief and smiles back at me. “Oh, you mean Electra. She won’t mind.” Stacy waves a hand her way as if Electra is not sitting right fucking there.
My eyes narrow dangerously but the blonde is clearly not catching the change in my mood.
“I mean, it’s not like she can entertain you anyway.” She gives me an exaggerated wide-eyed look like we are in on the same secret, and when my face doesn’t change, she leans in slightly and whispers loud enough for the whole bar to hear. “She’s paralyzed, you know. Like she can’t walk at all. Not much fun, you know? I heard even her boyfriend left her after that.”
My ears pick up on Electra’s fork falling against the plate with a loud clink, but my eyes are not leaving the bitch in front of me.
“I think it’s best you leave right fucking now,” I growl, and Stacy finally realizes something is wrong.
“What? Why? I thought we were getting on just fine.”
“I don’t hit women, but if you don’t take your disgusting self away from my eyes right now, I’ll make a damn exception.” Her eyes widen for a fraction before she plasters a saucy smile back on her face.
Does she think I’m joking right now?
“Maybe it’s not a good time now.” She clears her throat, casting a glance at Electra. “I’ll be at the bar when you free up,” she adds without taking a hint that I’m so not interested it’s not even a hint at this point, and heads back to her friend.
“Wait,” I halt her and she looks back with hope in her eyes, but loses it just as quickly. “Apologize.”
“What?” She frowns, not understanding.
“Apologize to Electra. You were rude.”
“Oh, um.” She shifts uncomfortably on her feet and then utters quietly, “Um, sorry?”
“Have a good evening, Stacy,” Electra says, and the blonde is at least smart enough to run away because no way would I consider it an appropriate apology.
My blood is still humming, my fist clenched under the table when Electra says out of nowhere. “You can go.”
“Go where?” I blink, confused what are we talking about.
“Flirt with Stacy. Hook up with Stacy or whatever else with Stacy.” She tips her head sideways toward the bar, but her face looks granite hard. “I saw you eye-fucking her, so you don’t have to stay here with me. You heard her. I'm not much fun.”
Are these women trying to kill me tonight but for very different reasons? I’m a second from losing it when something dawns on me and I frown. What is that in her tone? I’d think she was pissed off for that garbage comment but she’s always pissed off, so that’s not it. But there is some kind of edge to it.
“Nah, I’m good here.”
“No, you really can go.”
“Nah, I really am good here.”
“Go,” she almost growls.
“No!” I say slowly so she finally hears it as our eyes lock in on each other.
“Why do you two look like you’re about to murder each other and enjoy the process too?” If there was one thing that could make this dinner even worse, it’s hearing Stella’s voice.
I groan on the inside.
“You so jinxed us,” I tell Electra, shaking my head.
“Hi, Stella,” she greets, and the old witch, bends down, kissing the top of her head. “What are you doing here?”
“Having dinner, like normal people, you know. How’s the new living arrangement?”
Electra bites out, “Horrible,” at the same time I say, “Fantastic.”
“Great,” Stella concludes. “Speaking of dinner. Are you enjoying yours?” she asks Electra, her eyes already assessing her thin frame, and it happens so fast, I’d miss it if I wasn’t already attuned to her on some weird level, but Electra flinches. She flinches as if she was caught red-handed.
“I am. See.” She gestures to her plate. Her untouched plate with all of three pieces of that cauliflower fries that she took before. And it’s obvious that Stella doesn’t buy it either because she turns to me.
“Is she eating?” she asks me, and my first instinct is to say yes, because we did share a few meals already but then I stop myself. Electra looks thinner than she did when I first got here. And it hits me. I haven’t seen her eat. Not once since I’ve been with her has she eaten. Well, she did fight me for that lasagna but other than that, nothing.
And even that wasn’t an indication of her intention to actually eat it.
“Why are you asking him when I’m right here?” Electra protests.
“Because I don’t trust you. So?” She looks expectedly at me, but my eyes are on Electra’s pleading ones. Again, the emotion is so subtle, anyone else would miss it, but I don’t.
“She is,” I lie for her and those stiff, too-thin shoulders, relax.
“Happy now?” Electra snarks back, but Stella is unperturbed by her attitude.
“For now. Oh, Aurora!” Stella calls out when a petite blonde girl passes us in a blur. The girl—Aurora—who is also a waitress here by the looks of her uniform, turns around right away and her work appropriate face immediately morphs into a relaxed and then shocked one when she spots who exactly is sitting here. And unfortunately, I’m not talking about myself.
“Oh my God! Electra?” she whispers with a squeal and runs for my fallen star, slipping into her booth right past Stella—ignoring the old hag, much to my enjoyment—and wraps her arms around Electra’s frozen body.
I roll my eyes at her lost expression. It’s okay to hug people back, angry elf, I inform her with my eyes in case she forgot, and get a glare my way as an answer, but she does hug the poor girl back.
See, isn’t that nice?
Shut up.
“Aurora.” She gives her a soft smile. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay,” she answers, tucking her blonde strands away. “And you?”
“Oh, I’m…okay too, I guess. Are you still skating?”
Is it just me or is it very awkward between these two?
Despite Aurora’s original joy of seeing Electra, it feels strained now. As if there’s way more to this than what I know.
But what else is new?
“Oh, um…” Aurora’s cheeks take on a soft pink hue as she bites her lower lip. “No. I had to quit a while ago.”
To my amusement, my little star who doesn’t give a shit about herself, looks worried and alarmed for Aurora right away. Why does that not surprise me?
“Did something happen?”
“Joey happened,” Stella grumbles from the side and the girls both look up at her.
“Joey?” Electra’s brows pull together. “What about him?”
“Oh, hi Stella.” Aurora stands up, straightening out her uniform. “Well, it was lovely to see you, I hope you come around more often,” she says and already starts her retreat when Stella stops her.
“Not so fast.” Aurora turns around like a soldier in the army and marches back up to her old trainer. Or at least I assume that’s who Stella was to her based on Electra’s questions. “Did you apply for that grant I told you about?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“And?”
Aurora shakes her head in answer, her green eyes filling up with tears that she is trying to hide from all of us, but quite unsuccessfully, I might add.
“What’s going on?” Electra demands.
“Nothing.” She smiles reassuringly despite the tears. “It’s nothing important.”
“Lia, have you met my prickly pear over here?” Stella points to me and this time my groan is not subtle.
“Jesus Christ, will you stop with that nickname?”
“If the shoe fits and all that.” She waves me off. “Anyway, Aurora, meet Exton ‘Axe’ Quinn. The Exton Quin.” She places special emphasis on my name and now I’m the one with pulled brows.
“Prickly pear, this is another one of my students, Aurora Johnson.”
“Past student.” Aurora clears her throat and extends her tiny hand my way and I take it, shaking it. “It’s a huge honor to meet you, Exton.”
“Really? You’re a fan?” I assess the girl in front of me who looks nothing like the typical puck bunnies who claim to be my fans, and neither does she look like an actual die-hard fan girl. Those who know the stats of every player in the league and the time and date for every game.
No, Aurora is definitely not it.
“Um, not me, no. Although, I do know way more about you and hockey in general than I ever wanted. No offence,” she adds sheepishly, and I chuckle.
“None taken, so who’s the fan? Your boyfriend, husband?”
“Son,” Stella answers for her, and Electra nearly jumps out of her own skin yelling, “ Son? ”
Aurora’s throat works like she swallowed a huge lump, and she sighs. “Yeah, my son Emett.”
“You have a son?” Electra’s blue eyes are about to pop off from the sockets.
She nods, reaching for her pocket and pulls out a phone with the most adorable little boy with a toothy grin on the screen. He seems to be around four or five years old if I guess right.
“Oh my God.” Electra blinks at the screen. “How come I didn’t know anything about this?”
“I-I didn’t think you’d want to know anything about it,” Aurora says quietly, and I watch as my little fallen star deflates, feeling those words in her core.
“Okay, how about you two meet up on your own time and discuss all of this. I’m in a rush so let’s wrap this up,” Stella breaks the moment, because of course she does.
“Yeah, right. Okay, I’ll leave you all to enjoy your dinner—” Aurora once again tries to leave but Stella interrupts. Again.
“Aurora, you need to take him to Boston. I talked to my friend, and he said he can take a look at him. There are no promises there, but it’s a chance.”
“No, no,” Aurora shakes her head vehemently. “I can’t. Please, thank your friend for me, but I can’t.”
“Boston? What’s in Boston?” Electra asks the same question I was wondering myself while also slowly putting two and two together.
“Coach Hill.” Stella locks eyes with me. “Emett is exceptionally talented on the ice.”
“He is?” I perk up.
“Stella is exaggerating. He’s just a little four-year-old boy—”
“Who can outskate boys twice his age,” Stella finishes for her with undeniable pride for the boy. “But there is no one in our town who can give him what he needs. And that’s quality training.”
“Stella.” Aurora lets out a tired breath. “I really do appreciate all your help, but without that grant…I simply can’t take him anywhere. We won’t make it,” she adds very quietly, almost as if she feels ashamed and scurries away before any of us can ask any more questions, with tears in her eyes.
“Money?” Electra asks with a strain to her voice and Stella nods.
“Yeah, that poor girl is working three jobs to make ends meet. She has way too much on her plate, and it kills her that she can’t give Emett what he deserves, so I found this grant for them to apply for. It’s for young, talented hockey players, but I guess it was a bust.”
“Three jobs? Why? Is Joey helping at all? I assume that’s his son.”
“No.” That’s all she says, and I know Electra has more questions but it’s clear Stella won’t answer them.
The terminator is just about to leave when Aurora scurries around us again with a tray full of food for the booth two down from ours.
“Rory,” Electra calls out, confirming my suspicions about their familiarity and I watch as the tiny blonde take a long, heavy breath before coming back up to us.
“Can I get you anything?” she asks in her professional mode.
“Take your son to Boston,” Electra says.
“I already told you—”
“I’ll cover it. Whatever you need. I’ll cover it.” As soon as the words are out of Electra’s mouth there is a new stiffness to Aurora’s shoulders.
“No, thank you. That’s not necessary.”
“Rory.”
“No.”
“Please, let me help. Let me do this for you and for your son. I wasn’t here all this time, so this is the least I can do.”
“We don’t need money from you, Electra,” Aurora says but there’s no bitterness to it. She almost sounds sad, and I wonder how close were these two before my little star took off. “And in any case, even if we do go, then what? Coach Hill won’t be able to take him on anyway, right?” She looks to Stella who gives her a tiny nod.
No, our coach deals with NHL level not junior players. He could put them in contact with someone, but the sad reality of high-stakes sports is you need to know people.
And I am that kind of people.
No one needs you, Exton, the small voice reminds me…but my eyes catch on Electra’s deflating shoulders…and it’s too late.
“I can train him.” I hear the words leave my mouth before my head catches up to what I’ve said and I want to take it back, I should take it back, but the three sets of eyes are now drilling into me. Each one with a different expression in them.
Stella’s are narrowed and questioning. No surprise there.
Aurora’s are shocked and hopeful. But it’s the icy blue ones that make me keep my words. To stand by them because all of a sudden, the ice is gone from Electra’s eyes, and she looks at me like she’s seeing me for the first time. Like I’ve done something heroic, and it fills me with a sense of purpose.
Hell, this falling star is twisting me from the inside out.
“Wh-what do you mean?” Aurora asks with a tremble in her voice.
“You are right, just seeing Coach Hill won’t give you much, but having Exton Quinn claim Emett as his protégé will go a long way.”
I think I hear Electra murmuring something about “him and his big head” but this time there’s a spark in her eyes, one that lights me up.
Aurora opens and closes her mouth a few times before she finally says, “H-how much? How much would it cost to have you train him?”
“Nothing.” I stuff more food into my mouth.
“What…how…I can’t…that’s not, you don’t have to do that, Mr. Quinn.” She is all flustered. “I love my son, and I think he’s the best of the best but…but it’s just me.” Rory swallows hard, casting her eyes downward. “I’m his mom, I’m programmed to think that, and I don’t want you to waste your time.”
“First of all, it’s Exton or Axe.” I send her a wink and see a cute blush staining her cheeks. “Second of all, I’m stuck here with this one anyway.” I throw my thumb at Electra. “And she’s not much of a hockey fan, so I’d love some time with someone who can actually appreciate me.”
“Jesus Christ, and here I thought you were actually being nice and not feeding your own ego.”
“Someone just mentioned it’s the size of Texas, so I need to keep it well-fed.”
“Anyway”—I turn back to Aurora—“ignore the angry elf and bring Emett to our place any time. The said angry elf rarely wants to leave her cabin so we are always there.”
“Um, okay.” She exhales, her fingers playing with the edge of the tray nervously. “Thank you. Thank you, so much, Emett will be over the moon.”
“Can’t wait to meet this little man.”
Aurora nods and without further words she runs away.
“My, my,” Stella croons. “I did not think you had it in you, Exton Quinn.”
I send her a glare, but she just smirks and walks away to the bar, leaving me with my fallen star.
To be honest, I didn’t think I had it in me either. I’ve never cared for anyone’s sob story before, but now it seems I’m involved in one too many and I’m way too eager to dive into the deep end of Electra’s.
Electra
The car ride home is stiflingly silent and not because I don’t want to talk to him, as is the case usually, but because I don’t know what to say to him.
Today has been…a day. And my frozen insides have gotten more cracks in the ice coating them, than I wanted.
I don’t remember the last time I’ve felt such a range of emotions, if ever. From stabbing pain which I’m very much used to, to a sense of freedom I’ve never felt and then an unhealthy doze of jealousy that had absolutely no business being there. And confusion, anger, longing, and a whole bunch of other things, mixed in between.
But for someone who was determined to never show her face to the outside world again, I surprisingly had an amazing evening. And despite the pain of being at Blade’s, or Stacy Daniels’ not-so-subtle jabs, it’s also what I needed, to see mom’s hard work not being wasted. To see it thriving with her memory in every corner.
I can still feel Exton brimming with questions, but none he will get answered. Because the ice that started cracking around my heart might shatter with one more hit and that I can’t have.
I need it.
I need to protect what’s left of the blood-pumping muscle.