Chapter 8 Chamomile and Honey
Chamomile and Honey
Severin
“Hey, Sava? I think you’re looking for the puck in the wrong direction.” Exton’s cocky tone draws my gaze from the side of the lake. “Miss Aurora doesn’t seem to be playing right now.”
Fuck, this isn’t real, is it? This can’t be happening. After all these years?
But it is. It is her. She’s the warmth. She’s the wind that made my soul crack.
It doesn’t matter…I tear my eyes away from the woman sitting at the edge of the lake and narrow them at Exton in a silent cut this shit look but a childish giggle interrupts my intentions of wiping the ice with Exton’s face.
“Mr. Brick, Mommy doesn’t like hockey, so I don’t think you’ll ever get her to play.”
“Oh, I bet if anyone could make your mom come out and play, it would be Mr. Brick right here,” Exton smirks.
“Really?” The young boy’s eyes light up. “Do it! Please, do it,” Emett pleads, and I swear I’m a second away from killing my best friend.
“Mr. Axe is just kidding, kid. Let’s get back to hockey,” I say.
Emett nods solemnly and speeds away to run the drill again without another question as if he’s at least eighteen and not just shy of being five.
I wondered if he survived…I wondered all these years…
Maybe if I closed my eyes and went back to sleep this nightmare would end. I wish I could.
I move my gaze back to the smirking Exton as his rough shoulder bumps into mine, breaking me out of my stray thoughts. “Talk about mighty have fallen and all that BS you tried to sell me earlier.”
I almost want to laugh at how off his assumptions are, but now’s not the time.
“The mighty have fallen, and I was referring to you.”
“You know, I was starting to really believe in the whole conspiracy theory that you’re a secret monk and all that shit. I mean, you never take anyone home. You aren’t seen on any dates with anyone. You don’t even flirt with girls or guys,” he says, ignoring me and the scowl I’m wearing.
“I flirted with Electra.”
Exton waves me off flippantly. “Yeah, we both know that was to stir shit up with me. You weren’t actually flirting with her like that.
But now…” He drags out the last word as yet another shit-eating grin graces his ugly mug that no girl could pass by without fawning over.
“I’ve never seen you look at a woman the way you look at Aurora. ”
“Like what?” I narrow my eyes, the muscle in my jaw ticks, but he just smiles wider.
“Like you’re ready to send in your application for Emett’s daddy position and make at least ten more with her right here and now.”
“You’re an idiot.” I shake my head, hoping the headache that’s brewing inside it magically dissipates as well.
“Wait, no, scratch that. You’d like to make babies before all other applications.”
“Jesus Christ, are you able to think of anything other than sex?”
“Not when you reek of it.” He waggles his brows, and I’m seriously starting to question what Electra is doing to him here because I haven’t seen this easy-going side of his in a long time. If ever.
If it wasn’t at my expense, I would be over the fucking moon. Alas…
“You need help,” I deadpan.
“Dude.” Exton huffs out a laugh. “You know you can admit you like the woman.”
“There’s nothing to admit,” I cut him off curtly and call out, “Emett, let’s do another round and a shot at the end.”
He nods and gets in position.
I turn to face my friend again. “Come on, Mr. Axe, get moving. Some of us actually have a life to get back to.”
“And here they all think you’re the nice one.” Exton clucks his tongue but finally leaves me alone as he speeds off to play interference.
I know I shouldn’t goad him like this, but I’ve felt unsettled from the moment I stepped out of my car. I feel so fucking unsettled, like an animal that’s been cornered and caged by a set of green eyes I’ve done my best to forget.
Because that was all I remembered clear enough to see in my dream. Everything else was a mess. But not the eyes.
She’s beautiful. So fucking beautiful, I’ve felt the wind getting knocked out of me as soon as my eyes landed on her small form huddled on that camping chair underneath all those blankets.
My eyes hungrily take in every small detail about her, committing it to memory like her thousand-shades of blonde hair sticking out from under her knit pink hat.
Her small, slightly pointed at the tip nose, her plush bottom lip that slightly sticks out from the thinner top one.
What should be been a slight imperfection, a small flaw, turns into my personal kryptonite in the span of one second.
I’ve never wanted to taste anyone’s lips like I did hers.
Never.
And if that isn’t the most cruel twist of fate, I don’t know what is. Because she’s the one woman I’ll never touch.
That fucking fate…
My lip curls at the mere thought of it as my eyes drift off in Aurora’s direction once again and catch her laughing at something Electra said.
Click. I hear the sound of the puck as it hits the makeshift net, followed by a loud squeal from Emett, who evidently just scored a goal. A goal I didn’t even see coming.
By a four-year-old.
Because I was too busy drowning.
I was wrong. It’s not Exton who needs help. It’s me. Or maybe we can go together. Get a group discount and all that.
“You go, Emett!” Exton hollers! “Can we do that again? I need to get this on camera! The guys will never fu—” I send him a glare that cuts off the curse.
“Figure out how you got it past the mighty Brick,” he amends, and thankfully, Emett doesn’t seem to catch onto it, feeling too happy about the goal.
“Mr. Brick! Did you see that? I did this and skated to the right, then left, and around you. I was so fast you didn’t even see me!
” Emett explains his goal, mistaking left and right sides and not noticing that I wasn’t guarding the net at all, but none of it matters when his little green eyes light up with enough excitement to fuel the whole town.
His smiles are carefree and honest and leave me no choice but be ensnared by his pure goodness.
But there’s also wisdom beyond his years in those green eyes.
Wisdom that shouldn’t be there yet, and I find myself wanting to set a safety net around him to protect it from life that can crush his goodness when I have no right.
Does he know? Does he know how close he came to dying? To never be?
The glove on my hand can’t hide the tremor running through it, so I clutch it hard, trying to suppress it.
“I really didn’t see that one coming.” My lips quirk up with a warm smile I haven’t felt in a long time.
It’s a lot of firsts for one day.
“If you weren’t so busy looking at his mom, maybe you’d see the actual puck.” Exton covers his comment with a laugh, but if he thought his amateur spy skills would fool Emett, he thought wrong.
“You were?” Emett asks and there’s a new sparkle in his eyes that has nothing to do with hockey. “Does that mean you thought about it?”
“Thought about what?”
“About dating my mom,” he says, in what he assumes is a quiet voice but no such luck.
“Emett, Jesus Christ,” Aurora squeals out of nowhere, startling both of us.
Only, where Emett looks guilty, I have a desperate urge to get the fuck off this ice, out of this town and state.
Get as far away as fucking possible. But it’s already too late because her familiar scent of calming chamomile and sweet warm honey is already roaming the expanse of my lungs and mind.
And like an addict who hasn’t touched his addiction for half a decade, I relapse.
Fast, brutal, and painful.
“Mommy, my name is just Emett.”
“I know. That’s not what I was—are you trying to distract me? Because it’s not going to work, mister.” She plants her cute little fists on her waist, giving him a stern look.
Backtrack…not cute, just fists. Regular, plain old fists.
The little dude just stares back at her as if he’s completely clueless. “Nope.” He pops the P, and Aurora sighs in exasperation.
“Just go get in the car, we need to get going.” She motions toward a pile of metal so old and beat up I assumed it was junk. And is that… I squint, getting a better look at the bumper.
Yep, that’s definitely duct tape that was painted over to sort of match the color of the car, holding it in place. Suddenly, a gripping feeling seizes my chest.
They can’t get into that car. What is she thinking? It’s a driving disaster.
“What? Already? But we just got here,” Emett cries out.
“It’s been three hours, honey. I’m sorry, we do have to get going. Grandpa’s nurse called.”
Whatever that means, it can’t be anything good, because immediately, Emett’s eyes that were just full of excitement and happy childhood, filled with worry and at least ten more years of life.
“Bye, Mr. Brick. Thank you for playing hockey with me today. I promise I’ll never ever forget it.”
Before I can blink, two small arms wrap around my legs, and I realize he’s hugging me. Immediately, I drop to my knees to give him a proper hug.
“How about we do it again sometime?” The words leave my mouth before my head can catch up, and I bite my tongue but it’s too late.
“Really?” His sad eyes light up once again, and I forget how stupid this idea is. I can’t stand to be around his mother for longer than a few minutes—I can’t see her again. But I also won’t take it back.
I guess it’s a new sick game I’ve started.
“Really.” I give him my knuckles and he bumps his to mine but that quickly turns into another hug. “Maybe next time you can ask my mom out on a date too—”
“Emett!” Aurora snaps, breaking her son’s whispering into my ear and he pouts.
“I swear to God, Mom, you’ll never get a boyfriend,” Emett casually throws out as Aurora plucks him off the ground in all of his gear. “I’m free every day for hockey, Mr. Brick.”
“Sure, you are. Let’s get your skates off. Say, ‘bye, Mr. Severin.’”
“Bye, Mr. Brick,” Emett says, making Aurora sigh once more as she carries him.